A/N: READER BEWARE: Epic spoilers for episode 25 of the anime.

This is for a kink request: http : / dn-kink2. livejournal .com/ ? thread= 1428435#t1428435

I own nothing.

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Chapter 1 To The Victor

"Everyone, the Shiniga-!" L began but never got to finish and the spoon fell out of his trembling hand.

Light sucked in a breath.

This is it.

He could barely contain the emotions he was feeling. The elation…

Good-bye, L…

(…and the regret…)

Only… nothing was happening. L wasn't dying! The detective just sat there with a dull look in his eyes.

Light nearly lost it right then and there.

Dammit! Did Rem not write his name in time?

"Ryuuzaki? Hey, Ryuuzaki!" No response. Light quickly performed damage control; "The Shinigami? Was that what you were trying to say? 'Find the Shinigami?' Is that what you wanted me to do? Ryuuzaki!"

L only stared blankly at the computer consoles.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM, SHINIGAMI? SHOW YOURSELF!" Light shouted for the sake of his audience.

"No, Light!" The Chief cautioned.

Of course Light knew it was perfectly safe, that Rem was already dead.

"YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM US! COME ON OUT!" Light roared as he raced down the halls.

The Chief sighed. "We'd better search too. Mogi, stay with him," The Chief indicated the non-responsive form of Ryuuzaki.

"Right."

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Light was successful in locating the pile of Rem's ashes before the others and of extracting her Death Note. Upon inspection of said notebook Light was surprised that there were two names recently written in it: Quillsh Wammy and L Lawliet.

Is that L's real name? L's real name is L? But L isn't dead! Maybe the name is incomplete? What could it be? Hmmm… L lawlieter? L Lawlietta? Light suppressed a snicker, L Lawlietron?

Just then Light heard the others running and so he hid the notebook in his pants.

"There's something here!" he alerted the officers outside and shared with them his discovery of Shinigami dust.

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"Wow! Who knew Watari was a famous inventor," Matsuda chimed as he read the obituary section of the morning paper. "We still know nothing about Ryuuzaki though..."

They all glanced to where the detective crouched silently in his chair. It had been three days since the funeral…

"He's been that way since Watari died," Matsuda spoke needlessly.

L ignored them all and remained unresponsive.

Of course they had taken Ryuuzaki to the hospital when his condition didn't improve but the doctors gave him a clean bill of health. At least physically they could find absolutely nothing wrong with him…

Light assured himself that it would be alright. Even though L was still alive, it wasn't a problem. Light had already assumed de facto control of the investigation and L was in no condition to move against him…

The desk chair spun round and round. Every time he spun past the desk the detective would drop another sugar cube from the desert cart into his coffee cup. The rest of the taskforce cringed. The amount of sugar was excessive—even for L.

"You'd think he'd get dizzy," Matsuda whispered.

Light followed the spinning form of the detective with his eyes and felt something pulling at his blackened heartstrings.

Did Rem do this to him? Did I—? Light idly wondered if it was it possible to partially kill a person. To just kill off their mind or soul or whatever with the Death Note—but that didn't even make any sense. If such a vital part of you died shouldn't all of you die? L would probably be better off dead. Light thought bitterly as he watched how the detective drooled all over his keyboard.

Light approached the spinning detective. "Ryuuzaki…?"

Nothing.

"Watari is gone."

Still nothing.

"You have to snap out of it! We have to stop Kira! Please Ryuuzaki!"

The Chief cleared his throat "I hate to have to suggest this but perhaps it would be for the best to have him committed."

"NO!" Light and Matsuda shouted in unison.

That was unacceptable. What if Ryuuzaki ever became lucid again and, against all odds, someone believed him when he told anyone who would listen that Light was Kira and killed with a magical notebook? It was admittedly a longshot but Light wasn't willing to take that chance.

Also it just seemed wrong—the thought of his rival, his intellectual equal languishing in an insane asylum (if L was insane… what did that make him? No, best not to go there…)

"Ryuuzaki is our colleague and our friend! He deserves better than that!"

"Yeah!" Matsuda agreed.

"Light, I know the two of you are close but—"

"Dad, we all know Ryuuzaki is…strange. It's only natural that his grief would look equally bizarre."

"You think it's just grief?"

"Of course! And being locked up would only exacerbate his problems! I think the best thing for him would be to just be supportive and give him his space. I'm sure he'll recover if we just give him time."

"But… what if he doesn't?" asked Aizawa.

"If it comes down to that… if he doesn't get better… then I'll take care of him."

"But son…"

"No Light, we need you to focus on the case…" Aizawa declared.

"And how can we ever hope to solve this case without L?" Light demanded.

"You could do it! In fact, you're really the only one of us who could do it," Aizawa pressed.

"Wha-? Me? As L?"

"He's right. Even Ryuuzaki said it. 'Light-kun would be capable of succeeding L'" Matsuda agreed.

Light made a show of looking bashful. "I don't know guys..."

"Don't worry son. It's just temporary... just until Ryuuzaki recovers we need someone to take over as L. If news of L's state reached the public it would be a disaster. Please Light, you're the only one who can do it."

"I understand... I'll do my best..."

Fools! All of them. It's just so easy! It's no fun without… Light gazed at the broken form of his rival.

"But only if I can still take care of Ryuuzaki."

"Light..."

"I can do both. I've lived with Ryuuzaki for months I know what he wants and needs."

"And I'll help!" Matsuda declared.

Light breathed a sigh of relief. That seemed to settle the matter since the taskforce was always trying to find ways to keep Matsuda occupied and out of the way and this new project was sure to do just that.

"Thanks Matsuda. Now let's all work together on this! I swear, right here and now! We'll catch Kira and send him to his execution!"

"Right!"

Meanwhile L paid them all no mind, continuing in his repetitive motions and in the time it took for Light to give his little speech the detective had somehow managed to cover the entire desk in sugar cubes.

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The Taskforce would lose the building soon if they couldn't find how L and Watari managed their finances. They all agreed that L probably wouldn't want that—and so Light was given free-reign to explore the headquarters through hacking and through footwork in order to find those answers. For Kira it was the perfect opportunity to learn all about his enemy. Given the time, the opportunity, and determination to do so Light easily bypassed Watari's security…

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Light listlessly made his way along the empty corridors of an ill-used section of the taskforce headquarters. If Light ever admitted it to himself (which he wouldn't) he'd have to acknowledge that he was feeling rather depressed. It just wasn't the same now that Ryuuzaki was a brain-dead vegetable. Not to mention that it was a complication to his plans that L was still alive but then perhaps he was better off this way. L couldn't oppose him anymore.

No. Light thought sadly that things weren't better this way. It was Ryuuzaki's mind that he loved so much about…

Wait, what?

Light paused, his last steps echoing off the walls of the deserted corridors.

Get a grip! L is Kira's enemy!

Light continued in his march down the unfamiliar hallway. It was a spacious building, a literal hall of mirrors. Light walked on, face forward, and avoided looking at his reflection (he wasn't sure what he was seeing anymore. A God? Or a murderer like Ryuuzaki had said all along?) until his equipment pinged that he had found another hidden control room.

Light had already hacked through the layers of protective programming (as far as the computer knew, he was Watari) which just left the physical lock.
He had Aiber and Wedy to thank for this. They once related an amusing anecdote about how to shimmy open such a lock with just a credit card…
And lo and behold it worked!

(Aiber and Wedy were criminals but they weren't necessarily evil people. Perhaps… No. Evil must be punished! If he started questioning now it would all unravel. He wasn't wrong and he couldn't lose. That was impossible!)

The doors hissed open into the darkened room and Light felt his way inside, finding the control for the lights.

"What?"

The contents of this room weren't like the others. Sure there was the solid wall of computers and monitors on one end but this room was also filled with strange controls and buttons, dials and Tesla coils like right out of a mad science movie.

Curiosity getting the better of him again Light idly fiddled with the controls, hitting the bright, red, candy-like button labeled "Home."

Light startled as the doors hissed open again and Ryuuzaki loped his way inside.

"R-Ryuuzaki! What are you...? I was just looking around!"

"Wammy's System Breach. Unauthorized entry detected," L said his voice becoming deep and mechanical. "Enter the password please or this unit will self-destruct in sixty seconds. I must warn you the blast radius will take the intruder with him."

What? Password? What? Maybe dad's right and he's really gone insane! Wammy… as in Quillsh Wammy? Watari's real name. Password… Shit, what's the password?

"Ryuuzaki!" L was still staring at him with that glassy look in his eyes. But now he was somehow making some sort of ticking sound. As L counted down in his dull monotone.

This is not happening! This isn't- It's some sort of joke. Or a trick! Dammit, stop counting! I know something that should shut you up!

"Knock it off, L Lawliet!"

"Override accepted. Password recognized. Defusing weapons system. L Lawliet unit activated."

Light let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Greetings Master," L spoke in his usual bland tone but for some reason it seemed even more monotonous than usual. "How may I be of service today?"

"Ryuuzaki! What? What just... You're suddenly speaking now? Was it all an act the entire time? To think I was actually worried about you!"

Light paused as he realized that he meant it... No, no, no, no, no! I didn't! I was NOT!

"This is all a trick, isn't it? Just trying to see what I would do? Trying to make me look like Kira? You can just suck my dick, L!"

"As you wish, Master."

"Wha-?"

Light stumbled backwards just as L advanced and then lowered himself into his trademarked crouch before him and began fumbling with his fly.

"R-Ryuuzaki?" Light gasped. Of course he hadn't meant it literally! Yet for some reason he couldn't bring himself to stop L even as he climbed over his supine form and began to pull down his pants. Light's cheeks burned when, thanks to L's groping, he began to rise to the occasion.

"Is this not what my Master desires?"

I shouldn't- L was his enemy! Yet here he was-all submissive before him. Between L's fumbling and the way he was gazing up at him, just waiting on Light's permission to serve his every whim-all the blood rushed away from Light's brain. L waiting on Kira's every desire. Now this, this was a perfect victory.

"Yeah, suck it!"

L coyly teased the weeping tip with his tongue before taking him in deep, like he had no gag reflex at all and began to mechanically bob up and down his length.
Light groaned, his fingers harshly entwining in the detective's greasy raven hair and thrust into that tight, wet space over and over, going deeper and deeper. L didn't seem to mind, and just kept going at the same mechanical pace, poking and teasing with his talented tongue.

"Ryuuzaki!" Light could no longer hold back his cries. He moaned out L's name passionately as he came hard in several spurts. Light noticed how L swallowed it down.

"Ryuuzaki… you're… you're actually really good at that." Light grunted, his eyelids getting heavy as he was being overtaken by the instinctual urge just to roll over and fall asleep right here on the floor, cuddled into Ryuuzaki's warmth.

L quickly moved away, leaving a very miffed Light, and resumed standing slumped in the center of the room, staring blankly with a dull look in his eyes as if nothing had just occurred between them.

"Thank you Master. Is there anything else you require?"

Light glared in silence, got up, and punched him in the face.

"Ryuuzaki? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

"Many apologies masters but I don't understand," L asked in that same emotionless voice. "What did I do wrong?"

"Don't play dumb! You know why!"

"I'm sorry, Master but I really don't."

"You…" Light seethed "You act like it's nothing!"

Of course it was very meaningful to Light. He had long dreamed of having L kneeling at his feet. (The form the kneeling took was completely beside the point!)

"I see. You are upset that I do not give an emotional response. I am currently in safe mode."

"Safe mode. Wha—alright Ryuuzaki, this act has gone on long enough!"

L tilted his head to the side like a curious dog. "An act? I don't understand."

"Like hell you don't!"

"Please, I do not mean to deceive you Master, this is just what I am."

Light sighed. "Alright fine. I'll play along. What are you?"

"An artificial human." They both paused as Light absorbed that brain-breaking piece of information.

"Wait, you're telling me you're a robot?" Light gaped at L. "I just had sex with a robot."

"Correct."

"That's… impossible!"

"No, Master. Only improbable."

"We took you to the doctor! Surely they should have found like servos or something!"

"I am not that kind of robot. My systems are completely organic in nature, my processing units are indistinguishable from genetic structures, and I run on sugar. I was invented by Quillsh Wammy to be a state of the art piece of equipment created to aid in Law Enforcement. That I look human is only a testament to the greatness of my Creator. Every cell of my body is actually a microcomputer, with a processing power equivalent to whole agencies of human minds."

"No… Y-you can't be a robot!" Light denied, horror-struck. L, his only peer and greatest rival and he wasn't even real?

Light paused, as he remembered a little detail that he thought punched a hole in L's story. "You're not a robot!" Light had lived with L for months. That included showering and sleeping together. "Surely a robot has no need to jack off! What purpose does that serve?"

The robot looked confused. "What purpose does it serve when humans do it? I was specifically created to resemble a human in every way, and to serve a human in every way. Be it solving cases or having my Master take pleasure from my body. My primary objective is to Protect and Serve Human Life."

…And Watari created him that way? Light decided he really, REALLY did not want to know.

"I am one of 26 models. I am Number 12 but I am the most effective system of them all. I am the Creator's favorite," L said with pride.

Even if L is a robot, he still had a massive ego; the God of the New World rolled his eyes. His favorite, huh? …I still REALLY don't want to know.

"But to your original query, my emotional core has been deactivated. To restore my personality subroutines you need to flip the control switch located in the rear of the unit… tests show that the personality subroutines put humans more at ease but I must warn you, activating my emotional core will reduce my efficiency rating by 12.2%."

"What do you mean the rear of the unit?"

L sighed. "I guess I need to show you a diagram…"

L's eyes rolled into the back of his head and suddenly a file was being opened on one of the computer screens, a file that showed schematics of how to operate the L Lawliet unit. Either L wasn't lying or this was a very elaborate prank. Light blanched when he read the schematics and discovered exactly where the alleged control switch was located.

"You have got to be kidding me."

Locating that switch would require quite a lot of lubricant.