Jaspert knew he was in trouble. Across the table, his mother had set down her fork. Deryn had stopped with hers halfway to her mouth, eyes lit up like the burner on one of their father's hot air balloons.

.

"Jaspert, after dinner will you help me get the little balloon out of the barn?" Deryn popped a bite of potatoes into her mouth, eyes wide, feigning innocence.

Jaspert's eyes were equally wide, although for a different sort of reason.

"No." Their mother's voice was casual, but her eyes were anything but. "Who'd go with you? You know Jaspert's promised he'd help me out around the house tomorrow." Locking eyes with his sister, he shrugged, trying to extricate himself from her pleading stare.

"I can go by myself, Ma." Jaspert glanced at his mother.

"No. Not after that stunt you pulled last time."

Deryn groaned. "That was months and months ago! D'you expect me to just stay here on the ground my whole life?"

"Aye, most people do, Deryn. It works out reasonably well for the majority of them."

"You let Jaspert fly." Jaspert raised an eyebrow. This is going no where good.

"That is entirely different. Jaspert is older, and he is a man, and it is his job."

"Oh, please! Jaspert is not a man!"

"Hey, now!" Jaspert kicked at Deryn under the table, making contact with the side of her boot. She scowled at him.

"Even if he were, I can out-fly him any day. That's got nothing to do with it." She'd pinned him on his pride this time.

"Oh, well then! Let's just pop you in a middy's outfit and send you off to the Minotaur, shall we? Dress you up like a boy, get you a job in the Air Service? Great plan, that."

Deryn began to frown, but stopped. Slowly, she began to nod. "Why not? If that's the only way to get me in the air, so be it." she said. "I could do that."

.

Looking at the set of his mother's jaw, the angle at which she cocked her head, all he could think was, "What have I done?"

Deryn's eyes flipped between her mother and her brother, analyzing the tension between them, slowly losing their fire with each passing second.

"Nevermind," she said quietly. Shoving back her chair, she stood stiffly and walked out of the dining room.

Without her there, the pressure of his mother's gaze was unbearable. Jaspert's throat felt thick and numb.

After a moment, it was finally she who broke the silence.

"You'll break her heart."

"Her heart's already broken."

"Don't be dramatic, Jaspert. She's fifteen. Of course she's going to be moody when she doesn't get what she wants." She began gathering up dishes.

"Do you really not see it? You can look at her everyday and say nothing's wrong?"

"Of course something's wrong, Jaspert!" The dishes she was holding clattered back to the tabletop. "You think she's just going to forget what she's seen? You think she can ever be a normal girl? It's our job to protect her from herself, which is a job no mother wants. But it's what we do because we love our children. And that means sometimes making them hate us."

Jaspert could only watch her recollect the dishes and carry them to the kitchen. Watch the frayed sleeves of her dress, the wisps of hair at her temples, once blonde but long since faded to dull dishwater, the way no motion was wasted as she walked.

She returned a moment later with a rag and began silently wiping down the table.

"She's dying here, mum."

She sighed. "I know."

.

He knew where she'd be: as close to the sky as she could get. Around here, that meant the roof of the barn, which admittedly was not all that close to the sky.

Roofs were not for playing on, which was exactly what made them a great place to play. As children, the barn roof was their castle, their palace, their airship. As they grew older, the lure of imagination had ceased to be enough to tempt them through the dusty hayloft and out the broken window. Years passed before Deryn found herself in need of the imagined sky again.

After their father died, at almost any given time, Jaspert could look out the window to see Deryn perched atop the gabled roof of the old barn. When the silence got too much for her, she retreated to where she could talk to the sky in a way she couldn't or wouldn't talk to people. He hadn't seen her up there since she started talking again. He hoped that didn't mean anything.

The barn was dusty and stale with neglect. Spare parts lay in heaps on one side of the aisle, while two deflated balloons crouched on the other. One was small, just big enough for two or three people. Aside from the layer of grime covering it, it could have been left there just the other day. The second balloon was bigger. Had it been intact, it would have been large enough for several people to ride in the basket comfortably. Unfortunately, one side of the wicker was smashed and splintered, twisted in on itself. The actual balloon was shredded in places and carelessly tossed to the side.

It's like something died in here, Jaspert thought.

The rungs of the ladder creaked as he carefully made his way up to the hayloft. He could see Deryn's tracks in the dust. He followed them to the window, which she'd left open.

How did we used to do this all the time? He wondered as he tried to maneuver himself into a standing position on the sill. He looked over his shoulder at the ground. Weren't we afraid to fall? Once he'd gained his balance, he reached up and grabbed a hold of the eves. He pulled himself up, hoping the old wood wouldn't give way underneath him.

Midway down the length of roof, Deryn was laying on her back, spread eagle in the dusk.

Jaspert wordlessly made his way over to her. He watched her for a moment, then sat down. She stared off into the distance, not looking at him.

"You gonna to talk to me?" he asked after a few silent minutes.

"Get stuffed."

"I didn't mean it like that." They sat like that for a while, watching the sun slink groggily below the horizon.

"You know," Deryn said eventually, "I used to think if I could just wait until I was out of this house, if I could just hang on 'til I could get out on my own and fly every day, maybe that hope could keep me going." She shook her head. "But I don't think I can last much longer. I'm disappearing."

Jaspert turned to look at her. She had her eyes squeezed shut, kneading them with the heels of her hands. It wasn't the same as before, but he could see it creeping back in the set of her shoulders.

"She doesn't understand how incomplete I feel down here. It's like being out of breath. You aren't dying, but it sure feels like it. You can't go through your whole life out of breath. At some point, it catches up with you. And when it does, you'll just give out."

Jaspert's heart twisted in his chest. "I'll see if I can't find some time to take you up this week."

"She won't let you. You know she won't." Deryn pulled her hands away from her face and shot him a withering glance. She sighed. "Wish I could just join up like you. Can't believe I actually let myself think that earlier. Even for a second."

She stood, raising up on tiptoe and stretching her arms above her. "I'm such a barking mess." Jaspert smirked. Not only was she talking, she was swearing. She's still here. For now. And with that she strode off to the end of the roof. She looked back at him once, and with the assurance of someone who knows her place in the sky, swung herself over the edge.

I was very conflicted about whether or not to upload this in chapters or in one piece. However, here it is! Special thanks to SuavePanda for all the wonderful encouragement. I should be updating shortly as I've already got quite a bit more written.All comments and reviews are highly appreciated!