Disclaimer: All characters and beasties belong to Scott Westerfeld.

Shift Before a Spark

A Goliath FanFiction

By: DaggerQuill

Alek was so sick of feeling helpless.

Since Deryn injured her leg she needed him. She needed him to lie for her, to acquire her a private chamber, to entertain and watch over her. Helping her had given him purpose.

As he sat outside of her room listening to her small cries of pain as she attempted to dress herself for bed and the feeling of helplessness was intensified infinitely.

Because even after all he had done, she was still in pain. There was still more that he should be able to do for her.

He didnt want to accept that he couldn't.

Of course, he couldn't be in the room while she was dressing. Aside from the common propriety, Alek was too confused by his feelings to invite any additional desires.

"You can come in." She called weakly through the closed door.

He tentatively opened the door and eased into the room. She was already laying in the bed, her face pale and her eyes fighting to stay open.

"Do you need anything?" He asked, desperate for a task.

"No." She murmured.

"Should I leave so you can sleep?" He asked as he crossed the room towards her bed.

"No." She said, less clearly this time. He sat on the edge of her bed and she seemed to relax fully the moment his weight settled on the mattress. Bovril jumped off his shoulder and nestled its self between Deryn's side and Alek's thigh.

Alek watched Deryn as she fell asleep. He was fascinated with how utterly feminine she was. He fixated on her eye lashes. Such a light blonde that they were normally nearly invisible, but once Alek noticed them he saw they were long, lush and elegant.

It was so confusing. It seemed impossible that this girl, with her elegant eyelashes and unbound form under the sheets was his best friend, his confident, Midshipman Sharp.

Alek had a sudden need to wake her. He needed to talk to the shifting enigma before him. He felt that hearing "barking spiders" or being called "your princeliness" would put his entirely shattered life back together.

But he couldn't wake her. The injured girl he was caring for needed her rest. Even if he needed the boy he confided in, or wanted the girl who kissed him in the storm...

"So it works for princes too."

If he had thought it though, he never would have done it, everything was complicated enough without his encouraging things. But Alek acted before reason set in. When she kissed him the world had snapped back into focus. He couldn't force Deryn awake because of his overwhelming confusion but...

Alek leaned down and kissed Midshipman Deryn Sharp as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

It was a simple kiss. Her eyelids fluttered slightly as his lips gently brushed hers, but they remained closed.

"Definitely not a princess then." he muttered as he ran his thumb over her cheek.

His impulsive action had dissolved his anxiety. After, he sat by her bed and looked at her for a long time.

His memories of the night in the storm were blurry. But he remembered her changing before his eyes, from Dylan to Deryn, boy to girl, then back again. As he watched her he wondered if his feelings toward her could shift in the same way. From ally and friend to something new, something that he had never considered before. Something more.

But those thoughts were forbidden, impossible.

Regardless, he felt like he belonged there with her. At least for tonight being by her side was purpose enough for him.

Please Review!