From the couch, Mordecai saw the different apartment dwellers run back and forth through the window.

Usually, whenever Mordecai would stay the night, he'd see them shyly wave and go about their business. But ten minutes to a whole new year and these people were drunkenly singing in the halls and giving each other piggy back rides. Eventually they moved along, and another group of overzealous strangers passed by.

The television was on. It was the only source of light, which kept the blue darkness from the outside restricted to the rest of the apartment.

Dick Clark was telling everyone the story of the first New Year's Eve him and his wife spent together. Mordecai wondered if he'd ever reach Dick's age.

And if so, would anyone listen to the story of his and Benson's first New Year's Eve together too?

When they left the party in the park and got to Benson's apartment, Benson rolled up his sleeves, jumped into Mordecai's arms attacked his mouth while they spun around the room; kicking off their shoes and loosening their ties and not breaking the kiss as their tongues twisted and their hands travelled under each other's clothing.

Oren, Benson's (asshole of a) cat, sensed an "intimate situation" approaching and made himself scarce.

But because of Benson's strict "No Sex in My Living Room" policy, the furthest it went was some innocent grinding; Benson moaning his name did make it hard (Mordecai thought to himself, trying to calm his libido, "Not... the time... for penis... jokes...") to remember he wasn't allowed to ravish him right then and there.

They ended up just laying on the couch, with Benson's head against Mordecai's chest so he could be lulled by the blue jay's heartbeat.

"Ben?" Mordecai said softly, rubbing Benson's back. "Ben, are you awake?"

Benson answered, with a sigh, "No."

"Okay," said Mordecai, slightly amused.

Mordecai tightened his grip around Benson's hips. Benson hummed in appreciation. They both spoke in voices no higher than a whisper.

Tonight was... Like a winding punch to the gut. In a really good way. Mordecai and Rigby don't really have heart to heart's (especially on a roof, of all places) but their talk had the best possible outcome. A bit awkward because of his stupid "Peanut Butter and Chocolate" analogy, but still the best outcome.

Benson was waiting for Mordecai to say something else.

"Remember... Remember last week? When I told you about telling Rigby before the year was out?"

"What about Rigby?" Benson said drowsily.

"I told Rigby about us," Mordecai said. Benson said nothing. Mordecai could feel him tense up ever so slightly. "It went well."

The subtle tension in Benson's body evaporated, and he said, nonchalantly, "Well of course."

"You really thought he'd be okay with it?" Mordecai asked. Benson's body language was telling another story completely, but being the World's Most Awesomest Understanding Boyfriend, Mordecai didn't call Benson on it.

Benson rested his chin on Mordecai's chest so he could look him in the eyes. The light from the television illuminated half of his glass face. It was amazing how this calm face, which he loved so much, was the same face that gives him the third degree on a near daily basis. It was a fair exchange.

"Rigby is your best friend... For reasons unknown," Benson said, rolling his eyes. "He'd support you if you wanted to date a blow up doll."

Mordecai thought about that for a second. Then continued, "Rigby's pretty awesome. He..." and Mordecai wasn't sure if this was one of those things he and Rigby kept between the two of them, "He sort of guessed what was going on. Before I told him."

Benson furrowed his eyebrows. "Really?"

"My reaction exactly."

"And he didn't go around telling everyone?"

"Nope. With the exception of Skips 'cause-"

"I know, I know," Benson said whilst yawning. "Skips knows everything. Which reminds me, he wanted-"

Mordecai groaned, "I know... 'Broken heart equals broken wings'. Does he really think I'd do that?"

He had unknowingly hit a nerve. Benson very slowly turned his head away from Mordecai and put it back in its previous position.

"I'd be lying if I said I blamed him," Benson said.

"... Do you think I'd let that happen? Again?"

Benson shook his head, "I'm not psychic. I can't possibly know what will happen in a year. Or in a few months... Or tomorrow."

"You know that I love you," Mordecai said. He needed Benson to at least be confident in that.

Benson's eyes focused on the television. Mordecai huffed in frustration. A month later and it still felt like he was screwing up. Was this still on his mind? That voice in Mordecai's head (his father) was starting to gloat. But Mordecai was sure they had moved past all that bullshit... Apparently not, because the gumball machine man lying on top of him was refusing to say what he really thought, which was "You're going to fuck my heart up again, and I'm just counting down the days".

"And I love you too," Benson said, because it was true, and it hurt how much he meant it, but they both knew there were some forces stronger than love. Even if Mordecai swore such forces didn't exist. Forces like shame. Or internalized homophobia. Or daddy issues. Just a few random examples.

"You wanna know what else you should know? So we don't have this conversation over and over again?" Still speaking in a whisper, Mordecai stated, "You should know that if my conversation with Rigby had gone south... And he totally turned his back on me, I would have been right here, by your side, loving you, regardless. You should know that, despite being the World's Most Awesomest Understanding Boyfriend-" Benson's arms around Mordecai's neck went a little slack. "I. I don't know what I'm doing. This is the first real relationship I've had with a guy. Hell, this is this first real relationship I've had with anyone... Be patient with me, Ben."

Benson yawned. It could have been a real one. Mordecai felt a little desperation fill his belly. It seemed Benson wasn't hearing him.

"You should know that what happened before, with me quitting and blind sighting you... That's the last time my dad dictates what happens in my life with you. Ever. And I'll tell him about you..." Mordecai felt a mix of white hot anger and... Crippling fear. Fear so strong he almost forgot about the anger. "In the morning. I promise. Most of all, Benson, you need to know that I'm happy. Happy with you and happy near you and just happy to have my name next to yours."

Still, Benson said nothing or did anything to indicate he was listening/conscious.

"I promise to be a better me. For you. Because I want this to last. And I want to prove my dad wrong, to a smaller degree. But mostly because I'm sure we have more New Years' in our future... Just you and me. Together and junk..." Mordecai let his feather fingers dance on Benson's body. "Ben... are you awake?"

"No," Benson said.

The promise of Mordecai coming out to his father made him really consider Mordecai's words. It could mean he was serious... Or that he was saying what Benson wanted to hear.

"Do I need to repeat my declaration of love and loyalty or did you hear the whole thing?"

He needed to know how serious Mordecai was. He wouldn't be so... vulnerable in front of his father for anyone but Benson. That man in his mind who dared to call himself "Dad" needed to know he could go screw himself.

"It'd be pretty fucked up of you to say all of that and not mean it," Benson replied.

"But I-" Mordecai shouted, then lowered his voice, "I meant all of it!"

That answered Benson's question.

He nuzzled Mordecai's neck, leaving sleepy kisses, "I know. I'm just saying it would be if you didn't. I should be there... When you tell your dad."

"If you want to be," Mordecai said, cuddling closer to Benson. "But he's not gonna be as accepting as Rigby or Skips. It might get messy."

Benson gave Mordecai a look. "I'm pretty sure I can handle it."

The numbers dwindled down. Mordecai pulled Benson up and made their lips meet. He cupped Benson's face as Benson slithered his hands up Mordecai's body and played with his shirt buttons.

Everything was right, and perfect, and real, at that moment. And even though later in the week was going to suck for them both (that's a guarantee), at least they had tonight on a beaten up couch covered with cat hair.

The television burst with color from the fireworks, and the happy drunk strangers in New York were getting their New Year's kisses.

Benson said, taking Mordecai by the hands and pulling him off the couch, "We need to go into my bedroom."

"Um, okay... Why?"

Benson gave Mordecai another look.

"Because there's no sex in my living room."

And at that moment, when Benson was dragging him to his queen sized mattress, Mordecai knew he'd do anything not to fuck this whole thing up.

A/N: This is for Deft Fingers, or Zombie on dA, who drew me awesome fanart for "Two Men in Suits". I wrote this two hours ago for her! 3