Hello everyone! This is a new story!

Now, I think this is pretty cool. This story was kinda written by two people! Me and xoxoAlex!

We roleplayed this and I turned it into this awesome story!

Read and review please :)

It was late at night; Emily is sitting at her desk surrounded by her work. Paperwork, files, all that fun stuff. Emily tries her best to keep focused working away. She had been really behind in paperwork recently, and her mind was just all over the place… Ever since she came back from the "dead"… Everything seemed so different. Here she was, sitting here on a Friday night, doing work… She used to go out, do things. Emily just didn't want that life anyone… Meeting people at bars… She was sick of it… Emily had learned that life was too short to keep fooling around like this. She just keeps working, not thinking about her lack of a social life or what she really wanted to do with her life…Through it was hard at times, since even Hotch went home and he was always the last to leave. She just wrote away in, what she thought was, the empty BAU. Emily let out a sigh, talking to herself softly, "Come on girl, you can do this…"

"Hey Em" Spencer said, suddenly walking into the bullpen. His brow is raised as he sips a cup of coffee, he was obviously confused. Emily wasn't one for staying late like this… Spencer knew who stayed late and who didn't. Little did anyone know, he spent almost all my time here at the BAU. He needed to be distracted or his mind would wonder… That was one of the draw backs of having an eidetic memory; you remember absolutely everything, even the worst of the worse.

Emily jumped a bit at the sudden voice behind her, "Oh god… Reid…" A handed rested on her chest, completely surprised. "What are you doing here still…? I thought you went home already?" She spins her chair, so she was face to face with him now. Emily had been a bit worried about Spencer recently, ever since she came back he seemed like he looked at her differently… Like he was either mad at Emily, or afraid she was going to disappear at any second…

Spencer backed up a bit by the sudden startle of Emily "Oh sorry Em, I just heard some whispering and I wanted to find out what it was." Ever since she came back, she has been trying to repair the damage that was already broken. Spencer had forgiven her of course, she was his best friend. But deep down inside of him, there was this part where he hadn't forgiven her completely. The trust needed to be earned again. "I was just in Morgan's office, he let me work in there once he left," Spencer glanced down, looking down at my watch "Oh geez, he left 3 hours ago and it's 12am! Where did the time go?" He walked closer to Emily, so now Spencer was about 3 feet away, looking down at her. "Maybe I should head out now… Want to walk down together?" He asked, hoping she would come.

"No… I'm fine… Don't worry about it…" Emily let out a small sigh, she could tell things were different between them. She didn't like it. Emily didn't know what she wanted but, she missed the way things used to me. She looked up at him, "Is it really that late?" She looked down at the files on her desk, she still had so much to do. She looked at him again, Emily was going to tell him no but then his face stopped her. Something about Spencer's face almost seemed sad…"Ah.. Ah… Okay.. Sure I guess I will." She stood up and started gathering all her files. It's not like she had anything else to do but sit at home and do paperwork anyway…

Spencer nodded a bit, watching Emily think. She had been doing a lot of thinking recently. "Okay, I'll wait for you," Spencer had already finished up the paperwork for that night and was already on his way to the elevator. He leaned against the wall thinking a bit himself. Ever since he had first met Emily, the very first time he laid eyes on her, he knew she was someone special. Spencer had hoped that since then they're friendship would have grown, and he guessed it did. But then it all came crashing down when she was pronounced dead on that day with Ian Doyle. 'God,' Spencer thought to himself. 'I should really talk to Emily about it, but that would mean bringing up things are in the past. I hoped to move forward.' While he was deep in thought, he didn't even noticed Emily had finished packing up and was waiting for him.

She tilted her head to the side, looking up at the genius, who was still deep in thought, "Ummm.. Spencer?"

Spencer is brought back into reality suddenly, looking down at her. "Oh! Yeah…Ready? Ok let's go"

Emily nodded a bit, "Yeah, ready." They walked into the elevator together, standing there silently for a moment before Emily finally give in. "Hey… I think we should talk…"

Spencer let out a sigh, he wanted this to be behind them but maybe guess this could be a good thing. "Um, yeah sure I guess." He was so uncomfortable, that was obvious. He reached across her and press the 'Floor 1' button. Spencer's hand was shaking slightly.

Emily looked down at his hand for a moment, noticing the shaking. Emily looked at the buttons on the elevator, Emily noticed that there's a button that can stop the elevator for a bit. She reached over, pushing it. The elevator stops, and she looks over at Spencer blinking a few times. "What's running through your head Reid?"

Spencer eyes widened as she pressed the 'Stop' button. What was she thinking? It was 12am! "Well, I guess we're going to have to talk about this sooner or later but can't it wait until tomorrow? I do not want to have this conversation in an elevator…"

Emily crossed her arms over her chest, her face a mixture of seriousness and a bit of hidden pain that she had been carring with her everywhere. Emily licked her lips before speaking, "Spencer… You're trying to get away from me… You're trying to push this aside so you don't have to talk about it… It's just… It's not what we both need… We are both suffering…"

"Emily, I know. I am suffering. I have been since the day you ..." Spencer gulped a bit, he still had a hard time saying it. "…Died… I thought you were gone forever. I went to JJ's house for 10 weeks crying over loosing you. I can't believe you asked JJ and Hotch to lie to us. To me!" He reached over to unpress the 'Stop' button but her hand grabbed his arm before he. "Look. I'm sorry for giving you the cold shoulder but the trust is going to have to be earned again." Spencer was holding back tears, he couldn't let Emily see him this way.

Emily held his arm in my hand tightly, not enough to hurt him just to keep him here. The elevator is still stopped as Emily looks up at Reid with hurt eyes. "It wasn't my decision Spencer… I was unconscious… I was hurt… I almost died. The decision was made for me. I woke up and had a choice… Either I pretend to die… Or I come back to the BAU and risk having all of you killed. If I were to stay, you would of been in danger... I couldn't let anything happen to you. The decision was pretty much made for me." Emily bit her lip, she was going to cry. Big tough, Emily Prentiss was going to cry… She couldn't believe it. "I know the trust has to be earned… I… I know I hurt you… I just… I couldn't let anything bad happen to you."

Spencer understood, to some extent. "But, you knew we wouldn't have told anyone. Emily I thought I had lost you forever." At this point, tears were slowly running down Spencer's cheeks. "I just, I don't know, you mean so much to me." Did Emily actually know how much she meant? How much everyone had lost when she left us?

A tear fall from escapes from Emily's own eye. "I.. I'm sorry.. I mean, I wanted to tell you. I really did… I just… I wanted you safe. I didn't want to take any chances at all… I guess… I didn't think you would be this upset about it… I knew you would be sad but.. I thought you would get over it…" Emily's hand loosens from about his arm, her hands dropping to her sides.

"Get over it? Emily, what would you do if you thought I was dead for 10 months? Would you just 'get over it'?" Spencer snapped a bit, he didn't mean to sound rude, but she needed to hear all this. She needed to know how much she hurt him. "I almost started taking Dilaudid again, I didn't even get a chance to day goodbye!" He said, choking back even more tears. Spencer looked away, trying to avoid eye contact. "Can we just stop for tonight? Please. I already won't be able to sleep now."

Spencer then looked directly at her, just as she looks down at her feet, tears pouring down her face. She said nothing to him, nothing at all. Emily reached over, pushing the start button again. The elevator boosts up again and starts to go down towards the ground level. She still says nothing still, facing forward and not looking at him, her hair covering her face.

There was a ding, and the elevator doors open. Emily quickly rush out, her bag tight in her grip. Spencer watches her and then steps out of the elevator, after a moment, looking for her. He didn't mean to make her upset and he felt terrible. Spencer still wanted to talk to Emily but just not there, not now. "Emily!" Spencer yell into the distance. She just got into her car and was crying her eyes out. 'Great. I screwed everything up even more.' Spencer thought.

The sound of sobs fill Emily's ears. She couldn't hear much of anything else, even Spencer yelling her name. Her forehead rests against the wheel, as she cries. She hated this. What she had become, this was so unlike her… Emily hated my life ever since she came back. Not that it was all that good before the fact either. She was trying so hard to make people understand. Emily never wanted any of this… None of it. Secertly, she wanted to die on that table.

Even though Emily was upset, she started up her car and drove off out of the parking lot. Spencer watched her drive away, tears running down his own cheeks. What had he done? He didn't mean for any of this to happen… He walked over to his car and just sat in the driver's seat for a moment. He was contemplating on if he should go after her or is he should just leave it at that. He came to the conclusion that he had done enough damage already, so he started his car and drove home. That wasn't the night he had expected at all.

With Emily though, she didn't know what to think. Her hands were shaking on the steering wheel as she drove. Her eyes blurred over with her own tears. She shouldn't be driving, and she knew that. She just didn't care. Emily didn't care about anything anymore. Nothing mattered. As far as she was concerned, she ruined her life. She was given a second chance and she still couldn't get it right.

Suddenly, Emily's ears were filled with the sound of loud horns going off, and a bright light was coming towards her. Her entire view becoming a bigger and brighter light by the second. There was a crash and the sound of steel against concrete.

And suddenly, everything went numb…

Spencer finally made it home, parking his car in the parking garage at his apartment. He kept thinking if he should go over to Emily's… It was almost 2am by now, but Spencer didn't care. He needed to see Emily and make everything alright again. As soon as he started the engine again, he got a call. "Hm, who could be calling me this late?" The caller ID read 'Hotch'.

Spencer let out a sigh, "Great. Just what I needed now was to work a case with the one person I'd let down." He picked up the phone, "Dr. Spencer Reid here."

"Reid, get to the hospital. NOW!" Hotch said urgently on the other side of the line. "There's been an emergency! I'll explain there!" And with that the phone went dead, since Hotch had already hung up to call another team member.

Spencer sat there for a moment, staring at the phone. "Oh my god. What has happened?" He pulled out of the apartment, racing to the hospital to see the whole team there. Well, everyone except Emily?

"Reid…" Hotch was the first one to talk, walking up to him. "Emily was in a car accident…" Reid didn't react, he just stood there mouth hanging open a bit at the new just given. Hotch raised his eyebrow, "Reid? Reid? Do you hear me?"

"Oh yeah Hotch… I heard you all right…" Garcia was suddenly by his side. She grabbed his arm and pulled him towards a seat in between JJ and Morgan. "Hotch, this can't be right…" Spencer spoke, trying to hold back tears. "I was with Emily, about 45 minutes ago. She was still at the office and we walked out together..." His voice started to tremble.

Hotch nodded, "I know Reid… I'm sorry. She crashed on her way home… 5mins from her apartment… She lost control of the wheel is what I've been told."

The whole situation just seemed very familiar, all of them sitting in the waiting room as they operate on Emily… It was like having to relive a nightmare…

"Aaron Hotchner…" A man said walking over.

"That's Emily's surgeon…" Hotch said, walking over to the him, talking silently to him. Their voices barely above a whisper.

Everyone was so nervous when Hotch went over there to talk to the surgeon. Spencer watched in and was hoping, so as much as a person could hope, that this wasn't the same as last time. JJ and Garcia were crying their eyes out, even without knowing the results of the surgery.. Which made it harder for Spencer to remain calm… What if she wasn't going to be okay?"

Spencer was staring into space, his eyes terrified. His thoughts were interrupted when Hotch came over with a slight smile on his lips. "Emily will be alright…"

The surgeon, who was standing next to Hotch nods. "We were able to get all the glass and such out of her body. She will have trouble walking for awhile, her leg was crushed. So she will be in a wheelchair for a while, and then crutches." Hotch nodded at him, "Thank you."

The doctor nods, "Of course, she's asleep right now but feel free to go into her room if you want. Down the hall, 2nd door on the right."

Spencer was so relived. If she would of died, he wouldn't be able to live with himself… Especially after the argument. "Hotch, Would it be okay if I go and see her by myself for a bit?"

"Yeah sure, but be sure to hurry. I know the others want to see her as well" Hotch said as Spencer nodded and gave him a small smile.

Spencer walked down the hall and into her room. He stood in the door for a moment, overwhelmed. Emily was attached to 3 IV's and had a cast on her leg. Was he the one who caused her to drive into that car? If she hadn't of been crying, she wouldn't of crashed… More guilt… "Emily…" Spencer began to say as he walked to the side of her bed. Even though she wasn't awake he had to say it. "I'm so sorry this happened to you again. I wished things hadn't of ended the way they did…"

The only answer he got is the steady beep of the machines, reassuring Spencer that Emily was still here and still alive. He looked down at her face, that is bruised and cut up from the crash. Her chest slowly rises and falls with each deep breath she takes. Even though Emily had all these machines and wires. And even though her body was bruised and cut up, she still looked beautiful in Spencer's eyes.

He stared down at her for what seemed like forever until Garcia suddenly came into the room, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Hey boy genius. How are you feeling?"

"Oh I'm as fine as any person could be right now…" Spencer was obviously choking back tears as he walked away from Garcia. She watched him leave, a concerned look on his face.

She sighed a bit, "Poor thing…"

She walked to the restroom in the hospital, and he hoped there wasn't anyone in there. Lucky for him, it was empty. He went into a stall and started to tear up. This is his fault. He should have stopped her before she left the BAU earlier that night.

"Hey Reid, are you in here?" Morgan said, walking into the bathroom. Garcia had sent him to find Spencer, since she was worried about him.

Spencer quickly wiped his tears away and walked out of the stall. "Um, hey Morgan…"

"Listen kid, I know how you feel right now. I was in the same position as you when Prentiss almost died. I carried around guilt with me everywhere I went, but when she came back. I was still mad but I moved on Reid. Just be glad she's still here." Morgan explained to him. Spencer nodded a bit as he spoke. He knew Morgan was right. Spencer was so happy to have Emily back, and this event made him realize that even more.

Spencer looked down, "I almost lost her again…"

Morgan nodded, "I know Reid… But you didn't. That's what matters." Morgan smiles a bit, "Come on, pretty boy. Let's go see her again."

Reid nodded, and Morgan took his shoulder and lead him out of the bathroom. JJ was standing there, a big smile on her face. "I was looking everywhere for you both! We are all in Emily's room! She's awake!"

Morgan grins, "See? Prentiss is too tough to leave us anytime soon."

Spencer can't help but smile a bit at this as JJ and Morgan lead him into Emily's room. Emily was sitting up a bit in her bed. Garcia was by her side gushing over her and babying her to the extreme. "Our beauty is awake. That's my girl. What do you need? Anything?"

Emily let out a raspy laugh, smiling slightly. "Pen Pen… It's fine. I'm fine."

Spencer stared at Emily for a moment before he walked over to Emily's side. "Emily I-"

He was interupted by Emily, "Reid. Don't. It wasn't your fault. I was the one who crashed, not you. I'm sorry for what we had discussed before I left the office…"

Everyone looked at each other confused. They didn't know what they were talking about. "Well, Emily looks like you need more sleep" JJ said, gently rubbing Emily's shoulder. "We will be back later in the day, okay? we haven't slept at all either."

Emily nodded a bit, as everyone proceeded to leave. She looked up and said "Hey Reid, can you come here for a sec?"

Spencer looked over at Emily from the doorway, then he turned walking to her side. Emily knew what he was thinking, he was blaming himself. Just like a few years ago, when he blamed himself for how Emily was hurt during the Cyrus case… She could tell by the look in his eyes… "Spencer…" She used his first name this time, making sure he understood how serious she was. "This really isn't your fault."

Spencer saw how serious she was. She wasn't kidding around. "I just feel terrible because of how we left off in the office. I was a jerk to you and I made you feel even worse. I saw you in your car before you drove off, you were crying your eyes out. I lost you once before and I don't want to lose you again…"

Emily shook her head, "Spencer… I'm not going anywhere…"

The sun was starting to rise, it must be around 6am. "When I heard you were in a car accident tonight. I didn't know what I would have done if you hadn't made it…"

"I know Spencer… But… I did make it…" Emily forced a smile for him, fighting off the pain all over my body. "I'm okay…"

Spencer bent down and kissed her on her forehead. He grab a seat in the chair placed beside her bed. "I'm sorry; can we go back to being friends?"

Emily closed her eyes as Spencer's lips came in contact with her forehead. When they left, she opened them looking around the room and at him. Her face burned a bit, cause of the bruises and cuts. And her leg? Well… Words don't describe the pain… I put on the best smile I can for him, I didn't want him to know the pain I was feeling. My hand, covered with cuts, lays on top of yours. "Friends? I never thought we weren't. Of course we are Spencer…Always."

Spencer could see the amount of pain she was in physical and emotional. "Do you want me to get the doctor for the pain?" Emily shook her head slowly. "Well okay then… I was just mad before Em. I'm sorry."

Emily shook her head at him, her hand squeezing his the best she could. It was hard though, she was still pretty weak. "It's not your fault Spencer… I… I shouldn't of brought it up… That wasn't right of me… I should of know that you were hurting, since I've been hurting too…"

Spencer squeezed her hand back, but not too hard so he wouldn't hurt her. "No, we had to talk about it some time or another and now it's over with… I mean, I still didn't like what JJ, Hotch and you did but if it meant that you were kept save then I guess it was the best choice." Spencer gave Emily the warmest smile he could with all the emotions he was feeling.

Emily looked down there hands, "I… I really thought it was the best choice…" She licks my dry lips before I talk again. "I just… If I'm speaking honestly… I was scared Spencer… I was terrifed… And I didn't know what else to do… What I could do…"

"Emily, stop worrying about that now. It's the past and this is the present. Let's forcus on now" Spencer started to stroke her fingers. He hoped she didn't take it the wrong way. After all, she was still in the hospital. "So how are you feeling? I mean not the physical pain, but mentally?"

Emily looked down at his fingers, something about this just felt right…Emily gulped a bit, wincing as she shifted in her bed. "I…I'm fine I guess…"

Spencer noticed Emily eyeing our hands before. He couldn't end but wonder what she felt, obviously nothing bad or else she would have removed her hand. "Come on, Em. You can talk to me. I'm your best friend…"

Emily blinks her big brown eyes a few times, looking up at Spencer. "I just… Everything is so different since I came home… I can't tell you how many times I wished I would of died on that table that day…"

Spencer was completely shocked by what she had just said, "Emily! How could you think like that? For 10 months, I actually thought you were dead. But you aren't and you came back to this team stronger than ever. We are a family, this team, and we love you for you."

Emily shakes her head, "It just would of been so much easier… I would be gone… The team would of gotten Doyle without me… You all would of. And, in time, everyone would of moved on… Instead, I came back and opened everyone's wounds again… I should of just died on that table… When I died during surgery they should of just let me go. I would of been better for everyone." Tears were in Emily's eyes as she looks up at Spencer, "Did you know my own mother didn't even go to my funeral?"

Spencer could see she was hurting a lot inside. He moved the chair even closer to her "No, it wouldn't have. I probably would have taken Dilaudid again and my life would be over. When you came back, it was one of the happiest days of my life and also the most hurtful. I knew that you were here to stay for good. We needed you back Emily, it just wasn't the same without you. Morgan was guilt-filled, Garcia was - not Garcia anymore and I was certainly not giving 100% in each case" Spencer sees a tear that was running down her cheek so he wipes it off with his thumb.

Emily look up at him, blinking some tears free from her eyes. They roll down her cheek, "I caused everyone pain though… So much pain…" Emily's mind wanders back to her mother. She didn't even care enough to visit her grave. Emily remembers the day she came back, after Doyle was dead… Hotch sat her down… And they talked a bit… Emily asked about my mother and he informed her that he hasn't heard from her and she didn't show up at the funernal… Her own mom..

Spencer wipes the rest of her tears off her face. He felt so bad for her. "Emily Prentiss… Everyone is happy that you're back, Doyle's gone so you have nothing to worry else to worry about. Well, maybe your leg. That might be an issue," Spencer smiles a bit, trying to put a little humour in his voice to lighten the mood. "As for your mom, well I don't know much to say about that one…"

Emily looked down again, sniffling a few times. She just felt so pathetic right now. "R…Right…" Emily wasn't so sure, she really didn't know what to think anymore. Her life was just so messed up. Everything was so… All over the place… She just wanted something good in her life. But she was starting to believe she wasn't worth it… That she didn't deserve to be happy…

"Emily, you are my best friend and you always will be. I will be here for you, through the ups and downs in your life." Spencer was hoping this made her feel worthy and happy again.

Emily shakes her head, looking up at the ceiling. "I just.. I… All my life I've wanted a normal life… I've wanted to fall in love, get married, have a family… But… I've started to think I'm not worth it… I don't deserve a happy life. And with all that's happened… I never will have the chance to be happy like that…" Emily had never admitted that to anyone.

Spencer nodded as he listened to Emily pour out what she wanted to say. "Trust me when I say this. I've never had a normal day in my life. You think it's easy being in high school at age 12? You think it's easy when people use you just for your brain? Emily, I want all those things you do. I want a beautiful wife, a nice house and maybe even a few children running around. But I gave that up a while ago, I figured that I won't even meet anyone ad fall in love. In all honestly, I - I've never been in love." She could probably tell he also had never told anyone this.

"If anyone can have a nice life… And make all there dreams come true… It's you Spencer… You could meet a nice girl… You could do all that, I know it… But me…? I'm to messed up. I'm damaged goods." Emily rubbed at her eyes a bit, there's no way. She won't ever had something like that.

"Emily, you're not messed up. You are perfect, just the way you are…" With that, Spencer rose to his feet. "I'm really tired, I should get going…"

Emily's eyes follow him, they are a bit sad. "O..Oh. Okay… I guess… I'll talk to you later Spencer…" She laid her back against her pillow, wincing. Guess she was going to be alone again…

At the door, Spencer says. "Goodbye Emily, I'll be back later to see you." And with that he turns, and leaves the room.

Spencer walked through the building and outside. He gets into his car, and starts it off. He felt terrible for leaving her there but he needed rest. He needed to shower too… I'm sure Emily wouldn't have apperciated such a smell in her room. He drove home, thinking about Emily all the way. After his shower, I was dead tired but felt so terrible for leaving that he packed a few things and headed back out to the hospital. He figured he could just crash there for a bit.

Emily lays in her bed, listening to the sound of the machines. The beeping is steady as she watches out the window. She noticed that it's starting to snow, and, even though she was still in pain, Emily can't help but smile… She really loved the winter and snow. Something about it was really relaxing… For a moment the pain in her leg seemed a bit lessened.

Emily laid there for the next hour watching, sleep wasn't upon her yet, when Spencer walked into the room, "Hey Em, I decided that I didn't want to leave you here alone for too long so I just had a shower and came right back, I figured I could take a nap in the chair." His hair was still damp from the shower, hopefully she didn't mind.

Her gaze leaves the window, looking up at him, a bit suprised. "Oh… Spencer! You really didn't need to do that… You would of been so much happier at home in your bed I'm sure…"

"No, Emily. I'll be happy here" With you, is what he wanted to add but decided he shouldn't. Spencer sat down in the chair next to Emily. He grabbed her hand and said "I'll be here, if you need anything, anything at all, just wake me up. It's not a big deal." He smiled at her.

Emily smiled a bit and nodded, "Okay, thanks."

"Well, goodnight then…" And, with that, Spencer put his head back while still holding her hand and drifted off the sleep almost instantly. He was really exhausted from the long night,

Emily shifted a bit, resting his hand on her stomach as it holds onto hers. She watches him for a moment as he slips into his deep sleep. Emily sighed slightly, looking out the window again. She watches the snow fall for a bit before she to falls asleep.

That's all for now!

Once again, sorry for the tenses mess. We originally wrote it as a roleplay, like we previously stated. So it was hard to translate it all into third-person. We are trying our best!

Working on chapter 2 as we speak!