I walked away from her.

I actually walked away. I felt a warm tear trickle down my cheek as I carried on down the hallway, a lump in my throat so large I was afraid of suffocating. Swallowing, I tried to force the emotion down but it wouldn't budge.

Her hand resting on my arm had been a bit too much. I knew that if I'd let myself I would have grabbed that arm, pulled her towards me and kissed her in plain sight of everyone. But I couldn't. She loved him. Not me, even though I was her best friend, even though she'd cheated on him multiple times with me. That, and the fact that I wasn't ready for a public spectacle like that.

I'd pushed her away.

I instantly regretted it though. As soon as my arm made contact with hers, I just wanted to cuddle her but it hurt too damn much. I saw the shock in her face and my chest twisted painfully. I wanted to make a point, to show her how much this was killing me, to hear her declare her love for Artie. So, I turned around and walked away.

"Whoever thought that being fluid meant you could be so stuck?"

The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them. They tasted like acid as I spat them out. She tried to hug me; to comfort me. I resisted the urge to jump into her arms and pushed her away again. It HURT.

But she'd thrown my declaration of love back in my face, after I'd worked up the courage to admit my feelings to both her and myself. I'd gone through all the effort for nothing, just to have my heart broken.

It was a new feeling for me. I wasn't used to it. Usually, I broke guy's hearts seeing as they just had to fall in love with me when I only had eyes for Brittany. They'd ask me out, I'd turn them down, unless I wanted to get my mack on of course, but I had Puck and Trouty Mouth for that.

It was the first time I'd truly been heartbroken and it was all her fault. Damn her and her beautiful eyes, bubbly personality and her sweet, sweet lady kisses.

I went into the bathroom and locked myself in a cubicle. I let all of my emotions out, feeling the tears flow freely over my scrunched up face. I could barely hear the door open over my crying as someone entered the room. It was only until I heard Quinn's voice say my name that I took deep breaths and wiped my eyes.

"Yeah?" I replied, my voice cracking.

"I saw you come in here, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Quinn."

Quinn didn't look convinced and her eyebrow arched slightly. "You fell out with Brittany, didn't you?"

It hurt hearing her say her name but I swallowed down a fresh wave of tears and replied. "I'm fine, honest. I just don't wanna talk about it."

She looked at me sadly. I knew she hated the Unholy Trinity split up as much as I did. "Well, as soon as you do, I'm here for you, okay?" said Quinn, kindly.

I nodded, sniffling as I did so. "Gotta go to class now, thanks Q."

I left the bathroom and went to my next class, although I knew I wasn't going to be able to concentrate. The rest of the day seemed to drag out forever, although nothing else mattered anymore.

I'd walked away from her.

On the way home I stopped off at the liquor store, and using the fake ID I'd had since my days at Lima Heights I bought a large bottle of alcohol, planning on drowning my sorrows. Hiding it in my bag so my mom wouldn't see it, I went home, immediately shutting myself in my room.

I didn't want to socialise with anyone. I just wanted to be left alone.

I saw the pictures of Britt all over my walls and I couldn't hold it in any longer. I bawled my eyes out.

I sat on my bed, taking the bottle out of my bag and opening it. I lay back and took a massive swig, remembering what had happened on that damn piece of furniture. The liquor burned the back of my throat but I didn't even care.

My mind kept flashing back to her. The way her skin felt against mine, the way she kissed. The way she smiled when she saw me, the way she blushed and breathed heavily when I touched her in just the right place.

Before I realized what I'd done, I'd gone through quite a bit of alcohol. My cell-phone vibrated, breaking the quiet in the room. I felt disorientated when I sat up and I reached for it. The caller ID flashed with Brittany's name and I desperately wanted to answer. But I was way too stubborn and not drunk enough for that. My mind flashed back to the tequila body shots we did at Berry's party and my throat tightened.

I took another swig, my face now very wet with tears.

As I kept drinking, I felt myself get into the drunken state where I did really really stupid things. I was also in the state of not giving a shit so not caring about how much of a bad idea it was, I picked up my phone and started scrolling through my contacts.

I wondered who I should call; who would be available for a booty call. My finger hovered over Britt's name for a minute, my heart pounding fast. I sighed and kept scrolling.

I couldn't go to her anymore.

After going through my entire contact list like 10 times, I picked one near the top. Aphasia. We were friends since we'd met at Lima Heights, but we'd stopped talking once we'd got to high school. She didn't want to associate with anyone from McKinley.

I didn't take more than a second to think about it before I pressed call. I was heavily intoxicated at that point and wasn't bothered about the consequences.

It rang a few times before she picked up. "Santana? What do you want?"

"Wanna go fuck some shit up? I have alcohol."

"Sounds good enough to me, but if anyone from Jane Addams sees us, I don't know you. Okay?" she replied.

"Meet me outside the Lima Bean in half an hour?"

"Done."

I climbed out of my window, being careful not to be noticed. I made it down the wall plant pretty well seeing as I was totally drunk. Well, apart from the fact that I caught my sleeve on one of the thorns and it scratched my arm.

I looked at it when I was on solid ground, inspecting the wound for a second. I titled my head as if to say 'whatever' and walked off. My bag was filled with the rest of my alcohol stash; I still had some of my bottle left and I'd found a couple of cans of beer that I'd stolen from Puckerman.

I drunkenly whispered to my backpack: "Shhh", not wanting the metal and glass to clink together. I found this hilarious and started giggling to myself.

I managed to stumble all the way to the Lima Bean. I can't really remember how though, but I vaguely remember crashing into a streetlight. Anyway, Aphasia was stood there, waiting for me. I saw she was holding a plastic bag with what looked like a six-pack in there.

"Decided to add to the party, bitch" she called, lifting the bag above her head.

"WOO Let's get it started! Where d'you wanna go?"

"My mom's fucked off somewhere and dad's locked up so my place is free. Knowing mom she's not gonna be back all night so she won't catch us drinking. Not that she'd give a shit anyway."

I knew she lived close to the center of Lima. She'd been forced to go to Jane Addams Academy after her stint in juvee in our last year of Lima Heights. I still don't know what she did but I heard it had something to do with a bank, some money and a very sharp knife.

It was getting kinda cold now so we hurried to Aphasia's house. She lit a cigarette and took a puff as we made our way there. She offered me one and I accepted, even though I gave up smoking when I found out Brittany didn't like it. She couldn't stop me now.

Britt's voice sounded in my head as I remembered what she said: "Lord Tubbington needs to stop smoking Sanny, it's bad for him and I don't want him dying. I care about him too much." I shook my head trying to forget it then took a drag and exhaled the smoke.

"So, long time no speak Santana. Why you talkin' to me now of all times?" Aphasia asked.

My heart pounded as I tried to come up with a suitable lie. No-one could know why I was upset. I panicked. I think that I didn't let it show because Aphasia didn't look suspicious.

"I've been a bit emotional recently. No-one at McKinley can see me like that. I'd prefer to keep my head-bitch-in-charge status thanks." I thought it was a pretty good half-truth given the state of inebriation I was in.

"Boy troubles got you down?"

I hesitated before answering, picturing Britt-Britt's face and then imagining Artie. "Yeah, there's a guy who's troubling me."

"Say no more, bitch. We're gettin' you more wasted than y'already are" she replied.

We reached her house, a small but cosy place and went inside. The hallway smelled strongly of tobacco smoke and something else I didn't quite recognise.

Going into Aphasia's room, we shared out the cans and opened one each. She took a big gulp of hers, throwing herself into a sitting position on her bed. I sat down next to her, downing my can as quickly as I could. Brittany's face was still in my head and I wanted it out.

Aphasia saw this as a challenge and downed her can as well. We both inhaled the best part of a six pack within very little time at all. I could see her getting progressively more and more tipsy until she was bordering on drunk. She kept consuming alcohol faster than I was, but I was already way beyond drunk. She offered me another cigarette and I accepted again, lighting the end with her cheap plastic lighter. Taking a drag, I felt the dry, ashy sensation in the back of my throat and exhaled, creating a cloud of smoke.

I alternated between beer and smokes, and Aphasia was getting wasted. We started giggling over every tiny thing because for some reason, in our drunken state they seemed much funnier. I was taking the piss out of Man-Boobs and Trouty Mouth and she was making fun of bitches at Jane Addams.

"So tell me about this guy who's pissin' you off" she said, curiously.

I tried to word my answer carefully in my head but the alcohol had affected my ability to think straight (as if I did that anyway) and a wave of criticism rushed out of my mouth. "He's not even attractive, god. He wears those god-awful sweater vests and looks like his mom dressed him or something. He treats my best friend like she's stupid and they're fucking dating. He's not fucking worth being her boyfriend. I hate him. She's amazing and needs someone who treats her like a fucking princess like the one she totally is. But, whatever. I don't wanna talk about it too much right now."

"You know what I think you need right now?" said Aphasia, a wicked glint in her eyes, one that would make even Snix a little bit worried "You need a little bit of experimentation…"

I blushed. "Wait, what?"

"You heard. I always get horny when I'm mad and I bet you're exactly the same. Seeing as we're both very wasted, you need relaxing and I need to get laid. It's fine, I know what I'm doing. I go to a girl's school remember?"

I swallowed, not believing this was happening. I could tell she was extremely drunk because her speech was slurred and her eyes were a tiny bit out of focus.

I was too far gone to argue that I wasn't a lesbian, even though I knew full well I was. It was just no-strings attached sex, nothing more, nothing less. There was no feelings involved whatsoever.

"But with feelings it's better."

'Shut-up, Britt' I thought angrily. Ignoring her voice in my head, I nodded and Aphasia pulled my face towards hers and kissed me.

Her kiss was rough and smelled heavily of liquor and smoke but I was past caring. I wanted sex and I wanted it now, anything to take Brittany off my mind. I'd had bad experiences with sleeping with guys so I begged that a girl would be better, even though the only girl I'd ever slept with was Brittany. I'd never had a one-night stand with a girl but somehow I knew it would be better than that time with Finn or anyone else.

Her kisses became more hurried, more desperate for satisfaction. I slipped my tongue into her mouth and she reciprocated. I felt her push me down onto the bed and start to undress me and I undid her hoodie, revealing a tank top with no bra underneath. I cupped her breasts as she kissed my neck and I could tell she was getting aroused.

I removed one hand from her chest and guided her head downwards. I didn't want any visible hickeys that Britt could see. I couldn't bring myself to be a bitch to her. Aphasia had managed to remove my shirt and she trailed kisses down the line of my cleavage, toying with the straps of my bra. I went back to massaging her breasts, feeling the erect nipples underneath her top.

She slipped one hand into the cup of my bra, playing with my breast for a moment before releasing it from its fabric prison. She kissed up to my areola and started sucking playfully. I half-closed my eyes, just feeling what was happening.

After she finished, I took her tank top over her head revealing an ample chest that took me by surprise. She really had grown since gym class in Lima Heights.

She moved so her breasts were directly over my face and I licked all the way from the underboob to the nipple, very slowly so I could get her breathing deeper. I sucked gently and she gave out a small moan of pleasure. I smiled into her soft flesh and started to remove her pants. She did the same to me until we were both left in our underwear.

I was rather turned on so I guided her hand underneath my thong and she toyed with my labia until I begged her to carry on. She kissed me again, shoving her tongue into my mouth forcibly and felt me get more and more aroused. I returned the favor and let my fingers wander around the entrance to her vagina.

We entered each other simultaneously, starting with one finger then adding another. I felt both her tongue and fingers move around inside of me and I was turned on even more. Her hand moved faster and faster and I couldn't help but let out a low moan.

Our lips broke apart and she flipped over so we were straddling each other's faces, still moving our fingers in and out of each other. I started sucking on her vaginal lips which caused her to groan audibly. The vibrations were so close to my lady garden I could feel it. Aphasia licked my clit in time with the movements of her fingers and my eyes closed in pleasure. The sounds that came out of my mouth were unstoppable and they reverberated into the vagina I was orally stimulating.

I removed my fingers and replaced them with my tongue, roughly moving against her super wet clit. She gasped loudly and I waggled my eyebrows victoriously, smirking. "Do that again" she panted. I paused for a second, teasing her, then did as I was asked.

We moved together, both licking and sucking until we could barely take it anymore. My moans of pleasure mingled with her deep, lustful breaths. I felt close to orgasm so I quickened the pace of my tongue to indicate that Aphasia should hurry up. She seemed to have got the message because she got faster and faster.

In barely no time at all, I came, followed shortly by Aphasia. I pouted a little bit. Me and Britt always had simultaneous orgasms. But I was still too intoxicated to care too much.

I rolled over and under the influence of alcohol and fatigue, I fell asleep.