I've never written an epilogue before, so… yes.

Kurt is standing in front of Sebastian's front door, nearly a month after they said good-bye at the airport. Kurt's unexpected job with Benvoir meant that Christmas was spent in New York, with all his family coming up to visit him. It was festive and fun, but Kurt has been desperate to get back to Ohio. Talking to Sebastian on the phone just isn't the same. He always sounds tired and flat; there is this unexplainable weight between them and they have been waiting until they're face to face to address it. Kurt still feels the acute relief that even when Sebastian sounds occasionally miserable, he is with his parents and not in danger. He's sitting in his safe Ohio house with his family down the hall. He means Kurt can care without being simultaneously terrified.

It's been a strangely quiet four weeks. Kurt had forgotten how predictable his life was without Sebastian in it.

Originally, Kurt has suggested they have coffee at the Lima Bean in catch up. Neutral ground or something. Sebastian had said, with only a hint of embarrassment, that his parents still weren't keen on him going out alone.

This has all led to Kurt standing at the door of Seb's large house. He knocks and then pushes his hands back into the pockets of his jacket, hiding them from the cold air. It is only a few seconds until the door opens and Sebastian is standing in front of him.

Without any conscious thought, Kurt's face breaks into a big smile.

'Hey,' he says, stepping forward to grab Seb and hug him. Sebastian's arms come to rest on his shoulders, squeezing him gently. Pulling back, Kurt wastes no time examining Sebastian's appearance closely. He's spent weeks remembering the tired, scared boy he left at the airport. He's glad to see that Seb definitely looks better. He is wearing comfortable sweat pants and a loose jumper, his hair is shorter and while he still doesn't look healthy, he looks… relaxed. For the first time Kurt can remember, Sebastian looks relaxed and content. However, Kurt doesn't miss the thick bandage on Sebastian's wrist or the slight tightness still visible around his eyes. Sebastian waits for Kurt to finish his assessment with a small smile.

'You're as bad as my mother,' he says jokingly, running a hand down Kurt's side.

'Can you blame me?' replies Kurt and Sebastian shrugs. His hand stops, resting lightly on Kurt's hip.

'To be honest, I wasn't sure you were going to come.'

'I said I would,' says Kurt and he watches Sebastian step back, gesturing for Kurt to come inside. Moving into the warmth of Sebastian's house, Kurt quickly takes in the stately furnishings and artwork.

'I know, but now that I'm not in danger of imminent death I thought maybe you wouldn't care so much.'

Kurt stills, moving his eyes from examining the decorations of the house to meet Sebastian's worried green eyes. He tries to gauge if Sebastian is serious and he stung to realise that he is.

'Don't be an idiot,' says Kurt firmly. 'Of course I care about you, imminent death or not.'

'You're so sweet,' replies Sebastian, lips suddenly curling in a pleased smile. Kurt rolls his eyes. They walk through the hallway and into the longue room. Clearly, this is where Sebastian has been spending his time. The large television is paused in the middle of Call of Duty and there is an Xbox controller sitting on arm of the couch. There is a blanket messily pushed into a corner of the couch and a pile of schoolbooks on the floor. An empty mug is sitting on top of them. It's so boyish and domestic. Kurt bites his lip to hold in a smile, but Sebastian notices.

'What?' he says lightly, nudging Kurt. 'They won't let me leave, I have to spend my time doing something.'

'Nothing, you're just… nothing,' says Kurt affectionately and goes to sit on the couch. Sebastian pushes the blanket onto the floor and joins him. He flops down and they stare at each other for a few seconds, before both breaking out into self-conscious laughter.

'So, how are you?' says Kurt, shifting a little closer.

'Pretty good, I suppose,' nods Sebastian, eyes tracking every movement of Kurt's. 'Some days are better than others, sometimes I… well, I kind of freak out, but mostly I'm okay.'

'Blaine wanted to come and say hello,' Kurt adds. 'I told him maybe next week or something?'

'Sure,' says Sebastian, eyes moving over to stare at the television screen. 'Next week is fine.'

Kurt's gaze drifts down to the bandage covering Sebastian's arm and wrist. Freak out, Sebastian says. And Kurt has to ask…

'What happened to your arm?' he says quietly, hating the way he can't keep his voice level.

'Surgery,' says Sebastian quickly, clearly noticing Kurt's distress. 'Christ, Kurt, reparative surgery on my hand. I'd never, I mean… I'd never do something stupid like that.' Kurt feels silly for instantly jumping to such a morbid conclusion. 'And to be honest, if I was suicidal, I've had plenty of opportunities that are less dramatic and more effective than slitting my wrists.'

'God, please don't talk like that,' says Kurt, stomach tightening uncomfortably. 'Did they fix up your hand?'

'Mostly,' says Sebastian and he wiggles the tips of his fingers with a pleased smile. 'I still need some physio, but I should get full function back. I still can't really believe it.'

'That's great. And the other…stuff?'

Even after all the drama, Kurt can't bring himself to say Hey Seb, how's that pesky heroin addiction coming along? Still controlling your life?

Sebastian doesn't reply to Kurt for a few seconds, silently playing with the frayed edges of his bandage. He lets out a soft sigh and then glances over a Kurt, a rueful smile on his lips.

'It's really fucking hard, to be honest. And not just the withdraw, which is awful… being clean means that I think about everything. I spent half a year drowning out my thoughts with drugs and,' he stops, swallowing hard. Kurt moves closer, giving into the urge to press himself against Sebastian's side. Sebastian easily slides an arm around Kurt's shoulders, lips tightly pressed together as he tries to adequately explain his recovery to Kurt.

'When I first got home, I thought I had a drug problem and that was it. It was going to be hard to recover from, but I thought it was… a physical thing. An addiction. I'd get a rehab program and then everything would be okay.'

Listening closely, Kurt doesn't mention that Sebastian's words reflect Kurt's own assumptions. That Sebastian would fight his addiction and then be okay.

'But then I went to see my psychologist and she made me talk about what I did. Not the drugs, not the withdraw, not why I ran away… she wanted to talk about what I did in New York. About… about all the times I woke up not knowing where I was, the multiple times I thought someone was going to kill me, about how scared I was all the time… about what I let Carl do to me. Over and fucking over.'

Sebastian sounds surprisingly calm, but he's arm is holding Kurt tightly.

'I have these dreams, Kurt; I wake up and I think he's in my room. Some of the things he did… they're so bad and I can barely even think about them, I can't make myself say them out loud. Now that I'm sober I feel like I can't deal with what happened.'

'Is it… is it getting better?'

That seems like the only thing Kurt can say. Clearly, Sebastian is not miraculously cured, but hopefully he is moving in the right direction. Perhaps he'll never be the same as he was. Maybe he'll be better.

'It's getting easier,' Seb assures Kurt, turning his head and pressing a kiss to Kurt's hair. It feels natural and Sebastian is so much more affectionate than Kurt remembers. 'Some days I even feel normal.'

'And how's it going with your parents?' asks Kurt quietly.

'They drive me crazy,' says Sebastian, but he's smiling. 'They're amazing. Annoying and amazing.'

'I was kinda rude to your dad,' admits Kurt, because that conversation with Mr. Smythe has been prominent in his mind for the last few weeks. He's not sure, even now, that he should have been so forward.

'Don't worry, he probably deserved it,' says Sebastian lightly. He shifts, lying back on the couch and tugging Kurt with him until the shorter boy is lying against his chest. From this new angle, Kurt can look right up into Seb's clear eyes. It gives him a thrill to see them sharp and bright, rather than dull and glazed over.

'I have been trying to talk to him about stuff, actually,' continues Sebastian, casually looping his arms around Kurt's body. 'Talking seems to be the new family motto. We never shut up.'

'You love it,' smirks Kurt, filled with a strange warmth at how honest Sebastian is being with him. There is none of the hiding, no pushing Kurt away. In fact, he is pulling Kurt closer and not letting him go.

'Maybe I do,' replies Sebastian with a soft smile. 'Honestly, I feel good. Scared and tired, but… good.'

'You look happy.' And beautiful and relaxed, Kurt's mind continues, and I want to see you smile like this all the time.

'Turns out middle-class suburbia isn't as bad as I remember,' shrugs Sebastian and then he looks down at Kurt with a teasing grin. 'You know, I haven't had sex in a month. A month.'

'Poor you,' says Kurt with a roll of his eyes. 'Seriously, my heart is breaking.'

'Turns out hospitals and therapy sessions aren't the best places to pick up guys,' laments Sebastian. Kurt can't help up laugh helplessly at Sebastian.

'Don't worry, if anyone can pull off the mysterious, reformed addict act, it's you.'

'You think?'

'Sure. Buy a leather jacket and play up the bad-boy thing. It'd be hot.'

Before that comment has the chance to sit and grow between them, Sebastian's mother appears in the doorway. She doesn't even blink at their position - lying on the couch with Kurt resting against Sebastian's chest. She just smiles at the pair them. Eleanor looks completely different to the woman Kurt remembers; she seems younger and softer. All the raw anxiety and fear that Kurt was hit with at the airport is completely gone. Kurt wonders if there has been a similar change in Sebastian's father as result of having Sebastian back under their roof and safe.

'Kurt, honey, it's lovely to see you again. Are you staying for dinner?'

Kurt glances up and meets Sebastian's questioning eyes. They stare at each other for half a second and then Kurt pulls himself up a little to smile at Eleanor.

'I've like that, if it's okay.'

'Of course! We're having steak.'

She gives Kurt one more affectionate look and then leaves. Kurt looks down, one hand still braced against Sebastian's chest. Seb appears amused.

'I swear, sometimes I think she's high. She is so happy, all the damn time. It's creepy.'

'Sounds terrifying,' grins Kurt and lies back down. Sebastian's arms slide around him once again. They lie there and Kurt's head is filled with vague content thoughts. He doesn't know why this feels so comfortable… except that's a lie. He does know. He shifts a little, cuddling a little deeper into Sebastian's embrace.

'Kurt,' says Sebastian quietly, voice a little unsure. Reluctant to ruin the peaceful moment, Kurt slowly tilts his head back and their eyes meet. 'Kurt,' says Sebastian again and it sounds like a question. Kurt doesn't know what to say and Sebastian bites his lip, eyes searching Kurt's. There is too much to say and no easy place to start.

'Who would you rather fuck,' begins Sebastian softly after a few seconds, body held still underneath Kurt. His voice is nearly inaudible, but filled with so much meaning that Kurt can't breathe, 'me or –'

'You,' says Kurt. He can't think clearly enough to be anything except honest. 'I'd choose you.'

Kurt can feel the shudder that passes through Sebastian's body. His hand slides over Kurt's side gently.

'You mean that?' Kurt isn't exactly sure what he is saying, but he knows he means it.

'Yeah. I mean it.'

Sebastian's lips quirk up in a delighted, disbelieving smile. Kurt matches it, but then can't resist teasing a little.

'And here I was thinking you where madly in love with Andrew…'

'Oh, shut up,' says Sebastian with a laugh. Kurt tries to smirk at him, but it quickly breaks into a grin. Sebastian just seems to have that affect on him.

(&)

(&)

And there we are. I've been seriously restraining myself in the ANs of this story, so bare with me…

Yes. I still left the ending slightly ambiguous (which seems appropriate after I became an massive Kurtbastian shipper about half-way through his story). Life is complex, I guess? And those beautiful people who mentioned sequels/one-shots… maybe. If I ever think up some more plot.

I am so, so pleased that people have enjoyed this story. To those of you that reviewed every chapter, even the early ones when it was just a little weird story… thankyou. Honestly, I feel like we're friends because reading your reviews was so awesomely exciting for me.

If anyone wants to be tumblr buddies (and tbh, I'm been moonlighting writing drabbles on there when I should have been updating this) I'm newspringrain. So… yes. Bye. :)