I apologize for the delay on this to anyone who was keeping an eye out for it. I meant to have this up Tuesday but I came down with a bug. I was most upset with my immune system and told it so. Then I realized I was talking to my immune system and that it was probably a good idea to get some sleep and recuperate, haha. This took me awhile to write (really, there's so much that could happen in a meet the parents scenario) and I'm still not entirely happy with it, but I'm my own worst critic so that's to be expected. Thanks for reading! Comments and criticism are always welcome but please keep all criticism constructive!

Disclaimer: I don't own Labyrinth or RENT, to which the opening paragraph is a tribute to in response to several reviewers who wanted to see RENT as a musical in Goblins Are a Girl's Best Friend.

'Five hundred seconds or roughly eight minutes.' Sarah groaned. 'Five hundred seconds just like the last time I looked.' She flopped down on the couch and glared at the clock. 'Five hundred seconds or roughly eight minutes, but good lord, oh heavens it feels like a year.'

It was a fateful day in the Williams' house. Today was the day that Sarah was introducing her boyfriend, who was actually her fiancée, to her parents and her brother. Jareth "King" would be joining the Williams' family for dinner. Parents meet the romantic interests of their offspring quite frequently, but the occurrences of said romantic offspring not being human are small - negligible in point of fact. Sarah Williams and her fiancée belonged to this miniscule percentage as Jareth happened to be fae. Introducing your parents to the otherworldly man you've agreed to marry is a daunting enough task, but adding to that the fact that the man is the Goblin King doesn't lighten the load. Particularly when you met said Goblin King by wishing away your baby brother.

Very understandably in these unusual circumstances, despite the decision to not tell her family (and the opener of 'so I wished Toby away to the goblins and Jareth took him' immediately sealed the consideration of being entirely truthful away to the part of her brain labeled 'absolutely, positively, NEVER') about Jareth's job or humanity, or lack thereof, Sarah was nervous, but inclined to be philosophical as she sat on the couch waiting for her "boyfriend" to "arrive". Jareth had assured her that he was quite capable of making an illusionary car to arrive in and she herself had helped him magic up some clothes for the evening - a process she had found quite enjoyable. Playing dress-up herself or dressing up her dolls when she was younger certainly had nothing on playing dress up with the Goblin King. What red-blooded woman wouldn't enjoy laying on her bed while an incredibly attractive fae king magically changed his clothes then paraded in front of her?

Sarah's eyes glazed over momentarily as she re-lived that particular memory, only coming to herself when the dull echo of Karen dropping a spoon on the kitchen floor hit ears. The rather pleasant emotional euphoria that daydreaming about the Goblin King brought about was replaced once again by a roiling mass of nerves.

'If something goes wrong, he can always reorder time.' The future Goblin Queen reminded herself. This had become her mantra throughout the day as her brain had come up with every possible thing that could go wrong, from inebriated goblins crashing dinner in search of their King to Toby having a miraculous epiphany and recognizing Jareth to the fireys bursting out of the oven and literally burning down the house. Granted this last one was a bit of a stretch, but Sarah was stressed after all and the horrific image of a fuzzy flame-colored head popping out of the oven as Karen had opened it to place the lasagna in it had struck her mildly panicked brain so fiercely that she literally breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the oven was otherworldly creature free.

It was after this that Sarah had decided that she needed to sit down for awhile and had hurriedly grabbed the necessary silverware from the drawer. The dining room table had been set with frequent glances at the clock, which seemed to be dragging by as slowly as possible, and even now as she sat on the couch trying to not check the time it seemed as if the seconds were creeping by at a snail's pace.

In an attempt to find some small measure of peace, Sarah leaned back and closed her eyes, focusing on her breathing and finding her happy place. 'I'm in a meadow. A lovely green meadow with wildflowers and butterflies. I'm laying next to Jareth and making pictures out of the clouds. Jareth's playing with my engagement ring. I roll over to look at him and he's shirtless.' Sarah paused that mental image and let out a little sigh. 'Note to self: find way to get Jareth shirtless as soon as possible.'

Diiiiiiing!

Sarah's eyes shot open; the ringing of the doorbell interrupting what was proving to be a very happy place indeed. Time, which had seemed to be traveling with all the speed of a three-toed sloth to the Champion of the Labyrinth before, now seemed to move like lightning as Sarah's father moved towards the door.

"I'll get it!" Robert Williams called cheerfully as his only daughter jumped from the couch to stare fretfully after him as he strolled to the door.

'He can always reorder time.' Sarah reminded herself, resisting the impulse purely borne of nerves to run forward and throw herself in front of the door.

"You must be Jareth." Mr. Williams greeted.

"I am indeed. And you must be Mr. Williams." Sarah padded around the corner, relieved and some part of her mildly disappointed to see her fiancée with a head of slightly shaggy, but of normal human male length and behavior, blonde hair and clad in a nice pair of jeans and button-down blue dress shirt. "A pleasure to finally meet you, sir." He extended his hand and Mr. Williams took it, ushering him in and closing the door behind him.

"A pleasure to meet you as well. Come on in, supper's just about ready."

"Excellent, Sarah's told me what a wonderful cook her step-mother is. I've been looking forward to this all day." His eyes met hers and the mischievous, slightly smug glint in them conveyed to her that he'd known the minute she'd stepped around the corner and he'd heard the tiny sigh of relief that had escaped her mouth on seeing his apparel. "Hello precious!" He opened his arms to her and she, conscious of being under the gimlet eyes of her father, stepped into them.

Opting to resist temptation, Sarah snuggled her head into his chest to avoid even having to see his lips and kept the hug to a length that, while probably not very pleasing to Jareth, was of an approvable length to a father watching his only daughter with an interested male. Jareth's displeasure was immediately brought to her attention when she broke the hug and the Goblin King intertwined his arm around her waist, holding her close to his side and giving her no choice but to wrap her arm around him or have it dangle uselessly, and awkwardly, behind their backs.

'You are going to be the death of me.' Sarah thought wryly, as she met his mismatched gaze. "Jareth." She greeted belatedly, smiling up at him despite herself and her hormones which were informing her that his eyes were looking at her lovingly, that it felt wonderful to be cuddled to the strong muscles of his body and that it would be a phenomenal idea to drag him to the couch, remove his shirt so she could see said muscles that his open-necked shirts always teased at and make out with him until they were both threatened by oxygen deprivation and the urge to visit a 24-hour wedding cathedral in Vegas.

"Is that Jareth?" Karen inquired as Sarah was mentally telling her hormones to put a sock in it, coming around the corner with an apron on and a curious Toby peering around her legs.

"My wife, Karen." Mr. Williams introduced gesturing to the approaching woman. "And that's Toby behind her. Karen, this is Jareth."

"It's so nice to finally meet you!" Sarah's step-mother smiled pleasantly at him.

"And you as well, Mrs. Williams." Jareth addressed her smoothly, moving deftly forward with Sarah still firmly ensconced at his side to warmly shake Karen William's outstretched hand. "I was just telling your husband how much I've been looking forward to dinner tonight. Sarah has told me so many wonderful things about your cooking."

"Oh, why thank you!" Karen's fair complexion flushed slightly in delight at the expertly delivered compliment. "Sarah's such a sweetheart- I only hope it lives up to your expectations."

"I'm sure it will surpass and exceed them." Jareth replied suavely, relinquishing Sarah to kneel and offer an ingratiating grin to Toby. "Right fair it is to meet ye, Captain Toby. Your sister tells me your cruise off the coast of Florida was successful."

The youngster's face lit up and a grin to mirror the Goblin King's own spread across his young face. "Aye!"

Seeing Jareth and Toby grinning at each other mischievously caused Sarah's heart to swell suddenly in her chest and she found herself making Toby's hair wilder, and one eye brown in her mind's eye. Everything around her seemed to blur except the scene before her. Would their children inherit his mismatched eyes? Would their firstborn be a boy or a girl? Would he or she have Jareth's golden locks or would their hair be dark like her own? If they had any girls, she certainly hoped that they inherited her hair texture. As incredibly sexy as his wild halo of hair was-and looking it over now her fingers positively itched to run through it and stand it on ends in imitation of his actual appearance- it would be probably be difficult to coax into behaving in normal feminine hairstyles and she'd probably have to come up with a way to magic it into submission.

The beep of the oven timer in the kitchen brought her back to reality and the realization that the conversation had been moving while she had been woolgathering, to the apparent notice of none, as her father and Jareth had been engaged in discussing with Toby his imaginary piratical endeavors, but Karen, who was giving her a knowing smile.

"The lasagna is ready! I'll just go get everything to bring to the table."

"I'll help you." Sarah offered, giving her a shy smile in return. "We'll graciously let you men folk wait at the table." Her smile turned pert as she made eye contact with the Goblin King, prompting him to cock his head to the side at her rather in a manner reminiscent of an owl contemplating a tasty morsel.

Happy in the fact that she was said tasty morsel, Sarah turned to follow her step-mother into the kitchen, adding a little extra sway to her hips for the benefit of her fiancée who was happily watching her leave. All of Sarah's nerves had vanished after seeing Jareth with Toby. 'It doesn't really matter if Dad and Karen like him or not, I love him and I'm going to marry him and have his children.' Her spine tingled as she went through the door, conscious of mismatched eyes watching her heatedly. 'Lots of children.' Her hormones cheered in loud raucous agreement to this addendum. 'I still want them to like him of course, but…I love him and he loves me and really, that's all that matters.' Filled with serenity at this thought, Sarah proceeded through the door to the kitchen. "Now what would you like me to carry?"

"You're going to marry Sarah, aren't you?" Toby inquired directly, with the amazing astuteness of young children, as the males of the dinner party seated themselves at the table while Sarah and Karen were occupied in the kitchen.

"Yes." Jareth replied with equal directness, settling in his seat next to Robert Williams, who was sitting at the head of the table, and across from Toby. "I would like to have your blessing of course, Mr. Williams." He continued, shifting his gaze to Sarah's father. "But if I had Sarah's blessing and not yours then it wouldn't stop me."

"Ah." Mr. Williams eyed the seemingly younger man with approval at this bit of direct honesty. "As long as you have Sarah's approval and always treat her right then you have mine as well." He took a sip from his glass of water.

"Sarah is the most precious thing in existence to me and I will always treat her as such."

"Good. Or I will come after you."

"And I'll wish you away to the Goblin King." Toby added seriously.

Both men fought smiles off for entirely different reasons.

"What do you think the Goblin King would do to me?" Jareth inquired somberly.

Toby bit his lip in consideration. "Hmmm…probably make you swim in the Bog of Eternal Stench. Then he'd throw you in an oubliette so you'd have to smell yourself forever!"

"Oubliette?" Robert Williams queried, a smile on his face at the not unusual occurrence of his five year old son knowing an SAT par word due to his sister's stories.

"It's a place you put people to forget about them." Toby clarified in a matter of fact tone of voice.

At this statement, the Goblin King was forced to cough into his hand in order to hide his laughter. 'Why Sarah, dearest! Whatever have you been telling your brother about me?' Jareth thought in amusement, making a mental note to tackle Sarah on the subject later. Preferably when she was comfortably ensconced next to him and in a manner best contrived to bring up that simply delightful blush he loved so well. 'And while I'm at it, I simply must investigate what that mysterious little smile was about.' A rather wolfish smirk stole across Jareth's face in contemplation of just how much he would enjoy 'interrogating' his fiancée.

The subject of Jareth's thoughts entered the dining room, basket of rolls in hand and holding the door open for Karen, who was bearing the lasagna in oven-mitt clad hands. "And what have you boys been talking about?" Mrs. Williams asked cheerfully as she moved forwards to artfully place the lasagna on its designated hot plate.

"What the Goblin King were to do to me if I were to mistreat Sarah." Jareth replied smoothly.

The girl in question nearly knocked the basket of rolls over after setting them down. "If he's ever mean to you, I'll wish him away." Toby told his sister earnestly.

"Thanks, Tobes. Its nice to know you've got my back." Sarah responded, taking her seat next to Jareth and studiously avoiding making eye contact with him for the sake of her composure. There was a break in the conversation as the Williams and their guest joined hands for Mr. Williams to say grace.

'So much for composure.' Sarah thought dimly, as Jareth, who was sitting on her left, took her left hand under the table and began to caress it with his right hand. In vain she tried to focus on what her father was saying as Jareth's long, nimble fingers began to tickle and play along the spot where her engagement ring normally rested. Unable to resist any longer, Sarah snuck a look at the Goblin King from under half-closed eyelashes to find his mismatched eyes closed and a smirk tugging at the corners of his thin lips. Spurred on by her fiancée's smirk, a mischievous smile came to Sarah's face.

'Turn-about is fair play after all and my will is as strong. And pretty soon it's gonna be 'our' kingdom, buddy.' She mused, focusing on the end of her father's prayer and squeezing the masculine hand grasping her own as her father came to an end. Deftly extracting her hand from Jareth's following the squeeze, she quickly moved her hand to another location. "So what did you decide the Goblin King would do to Jareth, Toby?" Sarah inquired of her little brother, as she rested her left hand above Jareth's right knee, and began massaging his flesh through the denim of his conjured jeans.

"Make him swim in the Bog and then throw him in an oubliette." Toby elaborated, pleased with his devised punishment.

"Oubliette?" Karen asked, smiling fondly at her son.

"It's a place you put people to forget about them." Her husband informed her with a grin, catching her eye.

"Well, that sounds like just the sort of thing a King would use."

"I agree." Sarah nodded at her step-mother. "So you'll just have to treat me nicely, won't you Jareth?" She timed her question with a slight upwards migration of her hand.

"Oh, I promise to treat you nicely, precious." Jareth replied, managing to catch his fiancée's eye with his own for a brief moment.

The pure heat in his enchanting orbs left Sarah in no doubt as to just how nicely he'd treat her and she reached for her water glass with her free hand to quench her suddenly dry mouth.

There was silence for a few minutes as the occupants of the dining room enjoyed their meal, although two people were more than a bit distracted from the food they were mechanically eating.

'Thank heaven, he's not wearing his normal pants. His normal, skin-tight pants that would be almost like touching sk-bad hormones, bad!' Sarah reached for her water glass again, focusing all her willpower on the conversation that had just started up again and stubbornly maintaining her slow-traveling massage of the Goblin King's thigh while simultaneously trying not to feel.

"So what exactly do you do Jareth?"

Jareth drug his mind away from thoughts on the possibility of reordering time forwards rather than backwards so he could get to their wedding night and properly react to the way Sarah was teasing him or alternatively, persuading Toby to wish his sister away so he would have her to himself in his castle, and swallowed the piece of lasagna that he'd been absent-mindedly chewing to reply to Sarah's father. "I work in acquisitions on an international level."

"And what sorts of things do you acquire?"

"I acquire whatever is requested of me." Jareth replied. "It all depends on the client."

"It must be fascinating work." Karen commented.

"I find it so." The Goblin King agreed, slipping his left hand under the table while his right was occupied with his fork in the same manner as his fiancée. "It has certainly brought me into the path of some rather extraordinary people." His left hand slid over his lap to where Sarah's was slowly moving upwards and lightly ran his fingernails along the edge of her hand before grabbing a hold of it and holding it captive in his own before squeezing it.

Sarah sighed as she ran a towel though her wet hair. 'That went well.' A smile stole across her face as she folded the towel and sat it neatly in the laundry basket. 'No goblins strutting down the stairs singing show-tunes, no fireys popping out of the ovens and he didn't have to re-order time once.' Humming happily, the future lady of the Labyrinth opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out toothpaste, mouthwash and her toothbrush. 'Best of all they all liked him.' Sarah twirled her lacy black 'confidence' bra around her finger by the strap. "You really are lucky, methinks." She informed her brassiere whimsically, setting it aside to squirt a dollop of mint toothpaste on her toothbrush.

While Sarah was attending to her dental hygiene, Robert Williams was gazing into the room of his sleeping son. Toby had enjoyed having a fellow avid make-believer other than his sister around and had led Jareth and Sarah on a merry quest after dinner that involved every room and practically every major object of furniture in the house. Consequently, the five year old was now sprawled on his bed, Lancelot the teddy bear clutched in his arms and so burrowed into his blanket and pillow that only the top of his blonde head was visible.

"He was so tired he didn't even want a bedtime story." Karen whispered, coming up next to her husband.

Robert Williams nodded, wrapping an arm around his wife and turning his head to face her.

"Oh, sweetheart." Karen whispered tenderly, reaching up to gently brush a tear away from her husband's eye.

"It seems like only yesterday that Sarah was Toby's age, leading me and that teddy bear around on grand adventures." He sighed. "My little girl's all grown up. Where did the time go?"

"It's been moving all along with the seasons of life." Mrs. Williams answered softly, caressing her husband's cheek. "Now it's Sarah's time to get married and have children."

"And be in love." Robert finished, smiling at his wife. "They really do love each other, don't they?"

Karen nodded. "It's obvious from the way they look at each other. Jareth looks at Sarah like he'd move a star for her if she asked him to." A secretive smile of woman's intuition stole across Karen's face and she opted not to voice to her husband that Sarah looked at Jareth with the aura of serene love and happiness that comes from knowing who was one day going to be the father of her children.

Sarah's father was about to reply to this when the bathroom door opened. "He's asleep already?" Sarah inquired of her parents, padding down the hall towards them.

"Yep." Her father confirmed. "He's all quested out."

"Awww!" Sarah whispered, peering in and grinning at the sight of her soundly sleeping brother. "Well, I'm going to go to bed. I'm pretty quested out myself." She stood on her tiptoes and kissed her father's cheek. "Night Daddy. Night Karen." She repeated the process with her stepmother. "Thanks for having Jareth over tonight."

"It was our pleasure, dear." Karen replied. "He's a lovely young man."

"He's a good boy." Her father agreed. "First sign of trouble though and you let Toby and I know and we'll go scout out an oubliette."

"Thanks Daddy." Sarah chuckled, turning into her own room and shutting the door behind her. And then was promptly engulfed in a set of warm, muscular arms. Sarah stiffened in alarm, but relaxed once she recognized the soft linen of the shirt and the hands massaging her hips. "Jareth! My parents are out in the hall!" She whispered furiously, leaning back into the warmth of his chest in spite of herself.

Jareth rested his head lightly on her shoulder and chuckled in his fiancée's ear. "Fortunate then that we are in here."

A pleasurable shiver ran down Sarah's spine at the sound of his deep, melodious voice and the warmth of his breath on her ear. "Mmmm…" Sarah replied as Jareth began to lightly nibble and kiss her ear, unable to form coherent speech. 'Parents just outs-…oh that feels nice! Mmm….parents. Parents!' Sarah pushed vainly against the arms wrapped around her, which her own had automatically come to rest upon. "Jareth, we can't just make out with my parents in the hall!"

"Make out?" The Goblin King queried, momentarily halting his siege on her neck. Sarah's only response was to push against his arms again. "I spelled your room silent after I arrived, precious, if your parents overhearing us is your concern."

"Of course that was my concern." Sarah replied, her tone belying her actions as she melted back into the arms of the Goblin King.

"Mmm-hmmm." Jareth replied, resuming his attentions to Sarah's neck which earned him a breathy sigh from the woman in his arms. "I'm going to have to insist that you suspend all concerns but my own for the moment. This is an interrogation, you see." He informed her in between kisses.

"Interrogation?" Sarah asked breathlessly, tilting her head to give the Goblin King a better angle as he switched to the other side of her neck.

"Interrogation." Jareth confirmed. "Now, what does 'make out' mean?"

"Heavy kissing." Sarah replied bemusedly, eyes half-closed in pleasure.

"Then it's a phrase that has my whole-hearted approval." The Goblin King purred in his future queen's ear, causing another shiver to travel down her spine. "And my next question is:where did this delightful article of clothing come from and do you have more like it?"

Sarah's eyes flew open as the Goblin King dangled her lacy black confidence bra from Victoria's Secret, that she belatedly remembered holding when she entered the room, in front of her. 'Why oh why isn't this day two?' Sarah thought, blushing furiously as she made a mental note to rethink her two days of wear before wash rule for bras.

'I knew an interrogation would be splendid.' The Goblin King thought happily as he spun his beloved around to find the blush he loved so well spreading across her skin.