Just wanted to say: Brief suicside talk... sorry...

Kurt took a deep breath and stumbled into their, or rather, HIS apartment. The place was cold. But Kurt didn't mind. He slammed the door and stood there, not sure of what to do. In fact, he had no idea what to do ever in life anymore.

Blaine was gone. Dead. And Kurt was a mess. He had died of a heart attack two weeks ago one morning in the apartment's elevator. When Kurt got the phone call from Front Desk, he had almost collapsed. But he managed to hold on, and run down to help. Kurt had been there next to Blaine the rest of the time, even in the hospital, but Blaine never woke up. Kurt was devastated.

The funeral happened today. It was a blur to Kurt. All he could remember was seeing Blaine in the casket. He was too upset to even give a speech, which he deeply regretted. But the truth of the matter was, that no matter how many hugs his friends gave him, and no matter how many people told him 'It will be okay...' it wasn't going to change anything. Blaine was gone. And Kurt was alone. Rachel and Mercedes and the rest of the New Directions alumni came to the funeral, along with Kurt's Dad and step-mom. He even saw a glimpse of Blaine's parents, but they remained quiet and in the back.

Kurt looked around HIS apartment. He felt sick to his stomach. Kurt stumbled to their...HIS room. It was cold like the rest of the house. Kurt looked around the room, wanting to sit down. His options were: the bed, the floor or a red armchair. Kurt decided that the floor was too uncomfortable and the bed was, without Blaine, too traumatic for him at the moment. So he went to the chair. It was really just for decoration, as Kurt can't remember ever sitting in it. Kurt curled up in the chair, not being able to stop the rush of tears that he had been prolonging.

Kurt couldn't remember much of the next hour. He was just simply crying. The tears never seemed to stop, nor the did the ache in his heart.

Finally, Kurt made a decision. It wasn't hard to do. If Blaine would never come back to him, then Kurt would go to him. Yes, Kurt wanted to basically kill himself. Kurt never considered himself suicidal, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Kurt defiantly wasn't emo, and he really couldn't bring himself to stab or shoot himself, so he decided to do it in the easiest way. To drink himself to death. Kurt would consume enough alcohol to kill himself.

Kurt was a mess. He was cold, sad, tired... Kurt just wanted Blaine.

Kurt opened his eyes and stared at the wall across the room.

"J-just one m-more hour. That's all I want...one more hour with Blaine..." Kurt closed his eyes, muttering to himself.

"Kurt..."

Kurt woke up to the sound of his name being called. But that wasn't the reason Kurt opened his eyes. It was because he recognized the voice. Even if he hadn't heard the voice for three hundred years, he'd still recognize that voice. That voice was so...amazing.

Kurt opened his eyes and sat up quickly. There, in the doorway, was Blaine.

Kurt didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to believe even. He put a hand over his mouth, as his eyes filled with more tears. There stood Blaine, looking perfectly fine and adorable as ever. He wore the candy-apple green bowtie that Kurt had bought him a while back along with his favouite blue sweater. He wore white skinny jeans and green converse, to match the bowtie. His hair was gel-free and curly.

Kurt just stared at Blaine, unable to speak.

"Hey..." Blaine said, giving a weak smile.

"B-Blaine?" Kurt asked slowly as if he was dreaming.

"It's me" Blaine said. "I'm back."

"Forever?" Kurt asked quietly, bracing himself for the answer.

"No... That'd be impossible" Blaine said smiling a bit. "I'm dead."

Kurt jumped up, as the tears poured down his face. He ran across the room to the doorway, where Blaine stood. Blaine just opened his arms as Kurt ran to him. Kurt threw his arms around Blaine. Blaine closed his firm arms around Kurt, as he began sobbing.

Kurt hugged Blaine close, taking in his scent. The scent that was pure Blaine, and Kurt could smell it all day long, if he could. Kurt took in the scent more than normal, because he didn't know how long he'd have it for.

"Shhh" Blaine said, rubbing Kurt's arm gently and squeezing him closer.

"Y-you're dead" Kurt just whispered, muffled by Blaine's shoulder.

"I know" Blaine said slowly.

"I m-missed you" Kurt said.

"I missed you too, Kurt" Blaine said, moving his head so his chin was against Kurt's forehead.

Kurt's sobbing kept going, making the left shoulder of Blaine's blue sweater completely soaked.

"Kurt, you can't go on like this" Blaine said after a moment. "You have to keep living strong."

"I can't live without you" Kurt whispered.

"Look at me..." Blaine said, looking down at Kurt.

Kurt forced himself to look up. Tear-filled blue eyes meeting warm hazel ones.

"Kurt, I love you" Blaine said gazing into Kurt's eyes.

Kurt nodded. "I love you too."

"You can't be moping about me all your life. What about your dreams? What about you?" Blaine asked.

"Gone. I don't care anymore. I just want you."

"No, Kurt. Don't be like that." Blaine said, hugging him more. "You have to move on. Go be a star. Go be a fashion designer. Whatever, just go. Don't lose that spark because of me."

"N-no...I can't..." Kurt said, sobbing loudly.

"Yes you can" Blaine said loudly. "You're Kurt. You've been through so much already. You can get through this too. Come on, Kurt... Courage."

"No, Blaine. I've been through so much because you were with me. I had courage because of you. If you g-go, I can't do that" Kurt said, looking up.

"Oh, Kurt..." Blaine said quietly, hugging Kurt tighter.

Kurt started sobbing again.

"Let's sit down..." Blaine said, letting go of Kurt. Kurt shivered at the loss of contact. Blaine took his hand and led him to the chair that Kurt had been sitting in.

Blaine sat down in the chair, taking up all the room. Blaine pulled Kurt down on top of him. Kurt sat on Blaine's lap and Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt again, so tightly, that he was afraid he'd break him.

Kurt nestled into Blaine and put one arm around Blaine's waist and the other on Blaine's chest, in a tight fist.

"We bought this chair and never used it. I'm not sure why, it's so much cozier than the couch" Blaine said chuckling lightly.

Kurt smiled through the tears.

"I love you" Kurt said quietly.

"I love you too. More than anything in the world. I love you so so so much" Blaine smiled gently at Kurt, who only cried more.

Blaine sat in silence, listening to Kurt's sobbing slowly fade a bit. The whole time, Blaine held Kurt close. Kurt's hand slowly un-fisted and lay flat on Blaine's chest. Blaine knew he was feeling his heartbeat. Just to make sure.

After a moment, Kurt looked up at Blaine. Kurt's face was red from crying, there were many tear stains and his eyes were still swimming with tears. Kurt moved his hand to Blaine's face, and rested in on Blaine's cheek. Blaine stared down at Kurt, trying to portray as much love in his eyes as possible.

"Blaine..." Kurt whispered, sitting up so he was face to face with Blaine.

Blaine didn't answer.

"Why aren't you crying?" Kurt asked. He knew that Blaine should have been in tears too.

"When you're dead, you can't cry" Blaine said.

Kurt remained silent. That hit home. Hard.

"But it's probably for the best. We wouldn't the two of us to be crying our eyes out here" Blaine smiled gently.

Kurt didn't respond. Blaine shifted his arms, so one was on the back of Kurt's neck and the other was on his arm. Blaine then pulled Kurt forward to a deep kiss. He felt Kurt relax when their lips met. But he still felt the warm tears on Kurt's face. When they pulled back, Kurt's breathing was heavy and sad.

"Do you still see fireworks when we kiss?" Blaine smiled and asked Kurt. "I do."

"Yes" Kurt whispered and nodded. "All the time."

"Good. Only true love can do that" Blaine said, moving his arms again so he was hugging Kurt again. Kurt rested his head on Blaine's shoulder gently.

"Kurt" Blaine mumbled gently.

"Hmm?" Kurt muttered. His breathing was normal again.

"I know what you want to do. I know your plan" Blaine said slowly. It took Kurt a moment to think about what the plan was, but he soon remembered the drinking-to-death thing.

Kurt didn't respond. But Blaine felt a new tear sink into his sweater.

"You don't really want to do that, do you?" Blaine asked him.

"Yes. If I can be with you, then yes" Kurt said slowly, but confidently.

"Wrong answer" Blaine shook his head. "Don't do it."

"I need to...I won't be able to live life if you're not with me" Kurt protested sadly.

"No. You can. I will be with you always. In here..." Blaine moved his hand and placed it on Kurt's chest, where his heart was.

Kurt shook his head sadly. "Blaine...please. Don't go. Don't leave me..."

"Kurt. I'm dead. I have to!"

"Take me with you?" Kurt asked in a low voice.

"Nope. You must remain here. Live life. Succeed in your dreams. Have courage" Blaine said kindly.

"No. I can't...I'd rather die" Kurt said firmly.

"No, Kurt! Don't you see?" Blaine asked. "You can't do that. I love you too much to let you do that to yourself!"

"But...I need you..."

"Kurt, look at me" Blaine instructed. Kurt looked up with his sad teary eyes.

"Promise me, no swear to me that you won't try to kill yourself" Blaine said.

"No. I can't do that, Blaine" Kurt said, tears pouring out of his eyes, blurring his vision on Blaine.

"Kurt, swear to me" Blaine used his left hand to take Kurt's hand.

"Blaine...please...I can't live. I can barely hold on now. I couldn't speak at your funeral, I cry all the time and I am a mess. How is that living? How do you want me to stay like this?" Kurt said, full out bawling now. He was getting a bit angry at Blaine's stubbornness.

Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand. "I love you. Do you not trust me?"

"I do. I trust you completely" Kurt nodded.

"Then swear to me you won't kill yourself" Blaine paused. "Please, Kurt. It's for your own good. Like I said before, I love you far too much to let you do that to yourself." He stared into Kurt's eyes.

Kurt shook his head, then paused. "Fine."

Blaine's hard gaze lightened a bit.

"I swear to you, Blaine that I won't intentionally kill myself."

"Thank you, Kurt" Blaine said quietly, dropping his hand and pulling him into a very tight hug. Kurt started sobbing again.

Blaine rocked him gently and leaned down so his mouth was right next to Kurt's ear.

"Kurt, remember when we were in high school and you were telling me about your Dad's heart attack? You told me that Brittany had told you that heart attacks are just from loving too much?"

"Yeah?" Kurt sniffed.

"Well, that's what happened to me. I loved you so much, that I had a heart attack. My love for you was so strong that the doctors couldn't revive me. I died from loving you." Blaine said.

Kurt was quiet for a moment, digesting what Blaine had just said.

"Oh my..." Kurt started crying harder again, shaking even. "It's my fault! It's my fault you died!"

"No! No, no, no, no, no, Kurt!" Blaine gasped. "Kurt, no! Not at all! Don't say that!"

"I'm sorry...it's my fault...my fault" Kurt sobbed more.

"Kurt! No, cut that out!" Blaine said, shaking Kurt a bit. "It's not your fault at all! No, no, no, no, no! It's my fault for being so smitten!"

"Really?" Kurt's sobbing subsided a bit.

"Yes. One million percent yes" Blaine assured him with a squeeze.

Kurt sniffed but didn't respond.

"Kurt... I just want you to know...don't be afraid to find love again. Find someone else who makes you smile and is kind to you. Start a life with them. Start a family too. Don't be lonely all your life because of me if you don't have to" Blaine said slowly, pressing kisses into Kurt's hair.

Kurt shifted a bit so his head was just below Blaine's chin.

"Never. It's you or no one" Kurt muttered. He knew Blaine would say that but Kurt knew he would never ever find someone as sweet and adorable and kind as Blaine.

"Well, just know that you have my blessing to move on when you're ready" Blaine said. "I want you to."

"Never gonna happen" Kurt shook his head, hugging Blaine tighter. Blaine let the matter rest, knowing that he'd never be able to convince Kurt otherwise.

The loud sound of Kurt's ringtone echoed the apartment. Kurt had tossed the phone on the table in the kitchen a while ago.

"Your phone is ringing" Blaine whispered to Kurt.

"It's probably Mercedes. She said she'd call often to make sure I'm okay" Kurt mumbled into Blaine's chest.

"You gonna get it?" Blaine asked him.

"No. I don't want to talk to anyone but you" Kurt said as the ringtone kept going.

"Are you sure? They only want to help you, Kurt. They care for you, just like me" Blaine said to him.

"Maybe so..." Kurt couldn't argue with that. The ringtone stopped playing.

"When I'm gone, don't shut your friends out, okay?" Blaine asked Kurt gently.

"I want to be alone" Kurt said. "They'll never replace you."

"I know. But just...let them try...they just want you to be happy."

"I'll never be happy" Kurt said.

"Are you happy now?" Blaine took a deep breath.

"Partially, because you're here...but I know you're going to leave me soon, though" Kurt whispered as tears came again.

"True" Blaine admitted sadly.

"Why?"

"I'm dead" Blaine said. "I shouldn't have even come back now..."

"Why did you?" Kurt asked slowly.

"I saw how depressed you were. I knew that you'd never be at peace unless I did" Blaine said.

"I'm really really really glad you did" Kurt said.

"So am I. Who wouldn't want more time with you?" Blaine smiled and kissed Kurt's head.

Kurt just sat in Blaine's arms for a while. Each second that passed Kurt grew more calm, yet also more anxious because he knew it was only a matter of time before Blaine left him...forever.

"Kurt?" Blaine asked suddenly.

"You're going, aren't you?" Kurt cried.

"Not just yet...soon..." Blaine said quietly. He ran his hand through Kurt's messy hair.

"Your hair is so soft. I'll miss doing this" Blaine said.

"Stay and you can mess up my hair whenever you want" Kurt offered with a small smile.

"Honestly, I wish I could..." Blaine grinned.

Kurt burst into tears.

"Wh-why are you crying?" Blaine asked Kurt.

"Y-your smile...so...c-cute...I'll miss it...a-and you..." Kurt said through the tears.

"Oh, Kurt..." Blaine almost didn't have the words to say. He used his sleeve to wipe the tears from Kurt's face gently.

"Shhhhhh..." Blaine hushed in Kurt's ear, trying to calm the boy. It almost broke him to see him so devastated.

Kurt eventually stopped crying as hard. When his sobs weren't as loud anymore, Blaine took a deep breath.

"Kurt. Listen to me. You are the best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for. You are smart and kind and funny and loyal and honest and beautiful and brilliant and wonderful and fun and sweet and much more" Blaine said, holding Kurt as close to him as possible. He felt Kurt's tears on his shirt again. "You are such a good singer. Very talented. You are so strong and have a heart of gold even though someone else in your circumstances wouldn't. You have so much courage in you, I'm blown away. You are powerful and intelligent and fashionable and gorgeous. I am so proud of you and will always be. I love you so much, this is so hard for me, I can't imagine how hard it is for you. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you Kurt." Blaine whimpered, hugging Kurt so tight that Kurt was having trouble breathing.

"I love you too, Blaine. So much..." Kurt said, crying. He paused then gazed up at Blaine. "Sing to me...please."

"Sing?" Blaine asked.

"Yes. Sing me a song" Kurt whispered.

"Okay. You've heard this before. I hoped I'd never have to sing this, but it's perfect for now" Blaine said. He started rocking Kurt in his arms and began to sing.

"It's time for us to part

Yeah, it's best for us to part

Oh, but I love you,

Ooooh, I love you

Take care of yourself,

I'll miss you

The nights are long alone,

I sit alone and moan

Oh, 'cause I love you

Ooooh, I love you

Take care of yourself,

I'll miss you

And no more tears to cry,

I'm out of goodbyes

It's time for us to part,

Although it breaks my heart

Oh, 'cause I love you

Ooooh, I love you

Take care of yourself,

Take care of yourself,

Take care of yourself

I love you"

Blaine drew out the last line, listening to Kurt's tears and soft sobs. Kurt loved hearing Blaine's voice. His singing voice brought Kurt back to the day when he first met Blaine and Blaine had sung 'Teenage Dream'. His voice was like drugs for Kurt. The worst part was that the song that Blaine sung right then to Kurt was so perfect for them right at that moment. Like it was written just for them now. But the song was so sad.

"Thank you" Kurt whispered when Blaine finished.

"You're welcome, love" Blaine said kissing his forehead.

Blaine paused. He knew that time was almost up.

"Kurt, I have to go soon" Blaine muttered.

"Don't go" Kurt whispered, shutting his eyes tight.

"Kurt...I have to" Blaine. "I really don't want to, but I have to."

"Please. Please. Please don't." Kurt begged, holding on to Blaine's arm.

"Kurt. Please...don't make this harder than it already is." Blaine said quietly. He moved his arms so he could pick Kurt up. He carried Kurt, bridal-style, to their bed. He set Kurt down and pulled the covers over him, so only his arms, upper chest and head was not covered.

Blaine took Kurt's left hand and knelt down by the bed.

"Blaine..." Kurt looked at him with teary eyes. Kurt used his free hand to touch Blaine's cheek.

Blaine looked at Kurt.

"I'll never ever forget you" Kurt whispered, shaking his head a bit.

"I'll never forget you either" Blaine said with a small smile. "And I'm always going to be watching over you. I'll be with you. In your heart."

"Blaine!" Kurt smiled a bit.

"What?"

"Y-you're crying!" Kurt said. He gently wiped off the single tear that had rolled down Blaine's face.

"I guess that my love for you is breaking rules...doing the impossible..." Blaine shrugged as another tear ran down from his sad hazel eyes.

"I love you" Kurt said.

"I love you so much" Blaine said.

"Thank you, Blaine" Kurt said. "Thank you for helping me through high school and the bullies and the drama. Thank you for staying by my side and loving me no matter what. Thank you for loving me when I felt lost and lonely and that love was hopeless. Thank you for singing to me when I wanted to hear your voice or when I was sad. Thank you for holding my hand when we walked around, even if it meant getting a shove or a slushie. Thank you for slow dancing with me at prom. Thank you for being strong that one year when I went to New York and you stayed in Lima. Thank you for coming here to NYC with me right after. Thank you for singing flirty duets with me. Thank you for everything that you did for me, because I love it all and it was way more than I'd ever hoped I'd get. Thank you..." Kurt was crying again, warm tears running down his face.

"You're welcome. And for you, I'd do it all again easily" Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand. Blaine leaned down and kissed Kurt.

"You mean so much to me" Kurt said.

"And you mean even more to me" Blaine said. "Close your eyes."

Kurt did slowly. The last thing he saw was Blaine's face. Blaine kissed him one more time and squeezed his hand.

"Listen to my voice. I love you Kurt. I love you so much. Remember that. I'll be in your heart. I love you. Remember what I said to you and what you swore to me. I love you. Kurt, I can't even find the words to say to you. Just know that I love you and I'll miss you eternally. I love you, Kurt..." Blaine said. He pressed one last kiss to Kurt's lips. "I love you..."

Kurt listened until his voice slowly faded to silence.

When the room was silent and an odd chill fell over Kurt, he opened his eyes. The room was empty. Kurt looked at his hand. The last thing he touched was Blaine's hand. Kurt's hand was still in hand-holding position, as if an invisible hand was holding his. Tears rolled down Kurt's face. Blaine was gone. Dead. And Kurt was alone.

Kurt sat up. He heard a crinkle in his back pocket. Kurt wiped his eyes with his sleeve and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a folded piece of paper. Kurt held it in his hand and tried to remember what it was, as he couldn't remember putting it there. Kurt slowly unfolded it. On the page was the messy and loopy writing of Blaine. He must of slipped the note in the pocket when he hugged Kurt.

'Look under the bed -Blaine xoxoxo'

Kurt's eyes re-watered at the words. Kurt slowly placed the paper on his bedside table and climbed off the bed. He got onto his hands and knees and peered into the darkness under the bed. He reached in and pulled out a big, thick book. It was red and navy blue...Dalton colours. A large red bow was stuck on top.

Kurt picked up the book and sat back on the bed. He carefully opened the cover, to reveal a sticky note next to a picture of Kurt and Blaine at Dalton. They were both smiling at the camera. Kurt read the note.

'Kurt: I made this for you. Don't ask how/when, just love it. It's a scrapbook of us. There all blank pages at the end, so feel free to add what you want. Enjoy!

I love you. -Blaine xoxoxox forever

P.S. the pages are lined with plastic so tears won't ruin the pictures!'

Kurt smiled. He flipped through the book, looking at the pictures and little notes Blaine left for him.

Two hours later, Kurt was sure he was out of tears. He had read the whole book over ten times cover to cover. He missed Blaine so much, but he felt strangely at peace.

He heard his phone ring again. Kurt looked at the doorway, considering if he should go answer it. He remembered Blaine's words:

'Don't shut your friends out'

Kurt sighed and ran to get his phone.

"Hello?" Kurt asked. "Hey Rachel...yeah, I'm fine... Doing okay...coffee? Sure...see you in ten...thank you...bye." Kurt hung up. He really just wanted to sleep, but Blaine was right. He had to let his friends in. So coffee with Rachel was what he had to do.

He'd miss Blaine, for sure. But he'd be okay. He had gotten the one more hour he had wanted.

A/N

Woah. I'm sorry if you are crying...

I'm sorry, please don't hate me! I know you must think my mind is so twisted, and I admit sometimes I question my sanity. But just hear me out. I wanted to do a FF where Blaine dies and Kurt is sad and then Blaine comes back for 1 hour. At the end, I figured because this is a one-shot, it doesn't matter how it ends. And it would be too predictable if Blaine could somehow stay with Kurt, so I made him leave. I repeat, Please don't hate me!

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