Knowing that I was going to die by my Shield-Brother's hand today, I went through breakfast as mellow and level-headed as I had ever been there at Jorrvaskr. When the mealtime was finally over, I got together my things for the trip and met Farkas outside in front.
"You ready to head to Ancient's Ascent?" he asked me.
"Yes," I replied solemnly. "Although…I should let you know now that Vilkas does not approve of me going with you. He may be upset with you when you get back."
"Vilkas? Why would he be upset? If Vilkas has a problem then I will deal with him when we get back. For now, consider this Companions business. There's no one else I can take with me on this mission."
I sighed, figuring that it would be useless to tell him what Vilkas had told me. "Okay. Well, let's go."
As I followed Farkas out of Whiterun, he said, "We will probably get there by dark so I'm just letting you know that now."
Yes. The perfect time of day to get this…business…accomplished, I thought morosely. I had brought a hide tent and hide blanket just in case but it was beginning to appear as if I wouldn't need them.
We indeed did get to Ancient's Ascent when the sun had already descended since we went on foot. I did not say much to him on the journey there except to just answer questions from him about dragons. Morbid thoughts kept running through my mind. I could not make them go away. Would he do away with me before or after we killed the dragon? Will he transform into a werewolf and tear me apart, just as he had done to Jorielle? As we neared the crest where the dragon was, I saw it long before Farkas did. To the untrained eye, the body of a sleeping dragon on top of a rocky peak or crest just seems to blend in with the rest of the mountain profile. I pointed it out to him and then whispered, "Okay. We'll have to wake him up. The best way to do this is to sneak up on him and let go with one of your arrows. He will then awaken and you can shoot him with some more arrows. Soon, he will land, and you can hit him a few times with your sword."
"Got it," he responded.
I then looked at him with a sad look. Now this is goodbye. "Do what you must do."
"Aren't you coming, too?" he said.
"What?" I questioned, confused for a second. You're not going to kill me yet, then?
"I want you to help me fight the dragon, too," he said. "Why don't you shoot the first arrow? I'm afraid I might miss. I'll take it from there."
"Well, okay," I replied, and stepped out in front of him. He followed my gesture to be very quiet and to lay low, as I showed him how to sneak up as close as possible so that we could get our first shot while the dragon was still asleep. I got up to a boulder near the crest with Farkas following closely behind me and looked up. The dragon's back was to us. I ducked down and Farkas followed suit. I then slung an arrow on my Dwarven Bow of Frost, pulled it back as hard as I could and aimed right at the dragon's back. When I thought I had the right spot, I let go. The arrow left with a whoosh and I didn't hear it hit the dragon, but suddenly, the dragon gave a twitch and lifted its wings, letting out a roar.
"It's hit! Now it's awake!" I cried. "Get ready!"
Farkas readied his bow and we watched as the dragon flapped its wings and jumped up into the air. It circled around the crest before it finally saw us.
"He's going to attack!" I cried.
The dragon swooped down at us and blew his mighty fire breath at us, burning us both.
"Yeeaurgh!" Farkas cried out in pain, doubling over.
"Argh!" I cried, as the fire burned my skin. I tried to collect myself and then shouted to Farkas, "Be on the alert! Soon he will land or hover and you can get a good shot!"
Sure enough, the dragon landed right in front of Farkas and tried to bite him. But he was able to dodge it and shoot a few good arrows right at the dragon's head before the dragon flew up into the air. It repeated a cycle of circling us and landing, as I tried to stay out of the way. When the dragon landed for the third time, Farkas was able to get out his sword and slash at it. The dragon's beak clipped him and he fell back in pain, but despite the blow he came forward with a slash at the dragon. Critically hurt, the dragon flapped its wings frantically but didn't come off the ground. I saw Farkas run to one side of him and plunge his greatsword into the dragon's torso. It let out a loud, wailing roar before its head dropped to the ground and its wings followed suit, lying limply.
"Stand back!" I warned, as he was standing too close to it. I backed away and he did the same. The dragon's body started going up in flames, and as I expected, a great wind whipped up and I was suddenly overcome with power. When the wind died down, I saw that Farkas was doubled over on his knees, clutching his arm. "Gah…" he uttered.
"Farkas!" I cried. "Are you alright?" I ran up to him and crouched down in front of him. As I studied him, I noticed a bleeding gash on his right shoulder. I gasped. "Your shoulder!"
"His teeth grazed me," he spoke through clenched teeth. He put his hand right on the wound and suddenly cried out in agony.
"Farkas!" I cried again. "Come on. We have to head back now. You need to be healed!"
"We're…never going to make it," he told me, wincing. "We'll have to camp out…here tonight."
I looked all around us. We were still near the crest, and I didn't feel comfortable sticking around here for too long. "Okay, but let's find another spot, though. We cannot set up camp here." I helped him stand up, and I took out my white, fabric cowl, tearing it into three strips. I wrapped it around his arm and said, "There," I assured. "You'll be alright. I have some ingredients to make Restore Health potion with. Let us find somewhere to camp and I will prepare it for you." It was at this time that I really wished I knew the Restoration spell, Healing Hands.
Together, we left the crest out of sight and walked through the forest. After a short while, we came to a clearing that we decided would be a good place to set up our overnight camp. A small creek ran along one side of it which made it even better. I ordered him to sit down on a rock while I set up both of our hide tents and beds. Once they were up, I told him to lie down in his tent while I prepared the ingredients to alchemize Restore Health, which I had learned to make while I was employed at the Temple of Mara. I pulled out my satchel, mortar and pestle, and found the ingredients that I needed- Blisterwort, Blue Mountain Flower, and the Eye of a Sabre Cat. I blended the Blisterwort and Blue Mountain Flower into the mortar and began grinding it into a fine powder. Finally, I dropped the Sabre Cat Eye into the mix and broke it apart with the pestle. As the juice from the eye mixed with the powder, the whole mixture turned into a liquid, which I poured into my alchemy flask and brought into the tent for Farkas.
"What's that?" he asked me. He was sitting down on his bed roll still holding my makeshift bandage against his shoulder wound.
"This is Restore Health potion," I said. "This should make you better."
"So you know Alchemy?" he asked in amazement.
"A little," I replied. "I've had to make a lot of these when I worked in Riften. Here…lie down."
He obeyed and lie on his back. "Now take your hand away…" I gestured toward his wound and he slowly lifted his hand off of it. The bandage and fur sleeve were soaked through with bright, red blood. I carefully undid the bandage and tore the sleeve away to get at the wound, wiping some of the excess blood from his upper arm. I picked up the potion and said, "Okay. I'm going to pour this potion onto your wound now. It is going to sting initially but you should start to feel better very quickly."
"Okay, make it quick," he urged.
I held the potion steady in my right hand and slowly tipped it. Bluish liquid came pouring out of it and onto the gash on Farkas' shoulder. He cried out in agony when the liquid first touched his wound. I poured the entire bottle onto his wound and then put the empty bottle down. Farkas then watched in amazement as blood stopped flowing from the gash. "Oh…" he uttered in surprise. "It doesn't hurt anymore!"
I smiled. "All better?"
"Yeah," he replied. He sat up and rotated the shoulder for a second before putting his hand on it, looking amazed. He then looked at me and said, "Thank you."
"You're welcome." I then got up and put my alchemy things away in my tent.
We then built a fire and got some meat out to cook. It was then that I began wondering again if Farkas was going to go through with his plan to kill me now that his arm was better. The thought made me a little sad but like I said before, I felt prepared to die by his hand. When the meat was ready, we took it off the fire and sat down on separate boulders, eating it in silence. Farkas wolfed down the meat and before I was even done, asked me, "So tell me how I did against that dragon, Harbinger."
"You fought well," I replied, still munching away on my goat leg. "I'm impressed."
"Thank you."
Another silence fell over our camp as I finished up my meal and wiped my hands off. I looked over at Farkas again and saw him fidgeting with a stick, sticking one end of it into the fire and blowing on it every time it caught a flame. Is he going to go through with his deed or not? I wondered. The suspense was starting to wear at me and I began to get anxious. Before I die, I at least need to get some answers from him, I thought. At least, maybe I can try appealing to him again and tell him how bad I felt about leaving Jorrvaskr and how sorry I am. I decided that something had to be said now and that we were going to have to delve into the subject that we were both avoiding up until now.
Clearing my throat, I spoke up, "Farkas?"
"Yeah?" he answered, not lifting his head.
"So are you…still mad at me?" I asked.
"Why would I be mad at you?" he questioned, still not looking in my direction.
Here we go with the cold shoulder again, I thought. "Because I…left you guys so abruptly."
"You had your reasons," he replied casually. "Disagreements. I understand."
So he's calling what happened between me and him a mere "disagreement," now? "Well…I was wrong. I should not have been so quick to leave. I'm really sorry."
"Well, you and I both know that won't happen again."
"No, it will not." With pursed lips, I looked at him as he kept his eyes on the fire, trying to read his thoughts. He's going to do it now. His words clearly imply that I won't be leaving here alive, tonight. I sighed. He's obviously expressing his anger towards me. Vilkas had said that this was because his heart was broken, but I felt like I couldn't even broach this subject with him anymore. I had every intention coming back to Jorrvaskr to have a long talk with Farkas and make amends. But at this point, I felt like whatever chance I had at doing that may have been forever lost.
Suddenly, he looked up at me. My heart started to pound as I thought, This is it. Goodbye, world. But he didn't make a move towards me. I noticed that he wasn't even focused on my eyes.
"Is that an Amulet of Mara you're wearing?" he asked.
Having completely forgotten about the amulet, I looked down in surprise and grasped the pendant with my fingers. "Yes," I answered.
"Is that supposed to protect you from dragons?"
I shook my head. "No…" I lifted the pendant up with my fingers. "You…really don't know what this is for?"
"I know what they are," he said impatiently. He then paused, looking back down at the ground, appearing somewhat agitated. "So, who's this suitor you're after?"
Ooh, this could get interesting, I thought. I cocked my head to the side and asked him coyly, "You really don't know?"
"How the hell would I know?" he asked, sounding even more agitated. "I don't know who you've been talking to in Riften."
"It isn't someone in Riften."
"I don't know where else you've been."
"I haven't been anywhere else."
"I don't really like guessing games. Anyway, congratulations." There was no smile on his face whatsoever. He went on, "I'm just surprised you found someone so fast. You women are all the same."
I was taken aback. How rude! I became so incensed at his attitude towards me that I finally threw a fit. Tossing the pebble that I had been fidgeting with in my hands unceremoniously into the fire, I said wistfully, "It was you, you fool." Without another word, I stood up and walked out of camp.
Feeling my eyes well up with tears again, I stood at the edge of the creek bed, staring down at the water with my arms crossed. It's no use. I've gone and ruined everything, I thought. I don't know why I even still bothered to try to talk to Farkas. He had obviously moved on. I already made the mistake of rejecting him once and now there's no turning back, no asking for forgiveness. I needed to stop this nonsense now. If he was going to kill me, then he needed to do it now because there was nothing else left to do.
"Roxanne!" I heard Farkas call out. I turned around and saw him emerging out of the trees. I became livid and lashed out at him. "It's no use! Just get it over with already, okay?"
He stopped in his tracks and a confused look came over his face. "Get what over with?"
"Killing me," I responded firmly. "I know you've been waiting to do it all day!"
"What are you talking about?" he asked incredulously, his eyes wild with shock. "I don't want to kill you!"
"Well, you should!" I shouted angrily again. "Because I deserve it! I'm such a horrible person! I was blind and I was a coward and I know I treated you very badly." This time, I didn't hold back the tears that began streaming down my face now. He just stared at me, dumbfounded. Not caring anymore that I was pouring out all of my true feelings to him at last and making a fool out of myself, I continued on, "That day when you…when you said you loved me…it made me happy. I was scared too but it also made me very happy. Because I…I love you, too, Farkas." My whole body began heaving with emotion. "And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know it's too late now." Covering my eyes in shame, I didn't expect what happened next.
I felt my shoulders being grabbed roughly and all of a sudden Farkas' lips were pressed on mine, and I was caught up in his kiss, not once feeling his grip loosen. He then pulled back from me and I stared at him in wide-eyed surprise. A small smile formed on his face and he said softly, "It's not too late."
Still feeling like I was in a daze, I continued staring at him and asked, "You…you forgive me?"
"Of course," he answered.
Finally, a smile came to my face and I asked, "Do you know why I came back to Jorrvaskr?"
"You said you missed everyone."
"Yes. But I also came back because of you. And there was something that I wanted to ask you."
"Oh? What's that?"
"Will you marry me?"
At this, Farkas comically threw up his hands and looked at the sky. "You had to ask!" he cried. He then looked at me and said, "You know, if I had done the asking, I wouldn't have given you a choice."
I laughed. "Well, is that a yes or a no then?"
"Yes!" he shouted. "I will marry you…if you'll have me."
Overcome with joy, I exclaimed, "Oh, Farkas!" and fell into his arms and we embraced tightly.
After holding each other tight for almost a minute, we let go and he said to me, "So, it's settled. You and me. We should go tell the priest at the temple that we're getting married."
"Now?" I asked.
"As soon as possible," he said.
"Okay," I said excitedly. "We'll go there first thing in the morning tomorrow. And then we've got to tell everyone at Jorrvaskr!"
"Sounds like a plan," he said happily.
We then walked back to our camp hand-in-hand and went to sleep in our separate tents, but not without kissing each other goodnight first, of course.
The next morning, we got up, cooked some breakfast and ate it before heading out. Just as we were putting away the last of our things, though, Farkas said to me, "Roxanne? There's something I want to do before we go to the priest today."
"What's that?" I asked.
"Well…I've been doing some thinking. I've been thinking about Kodlak and all the things that he said. He used to talk to us a lot about the beastblood, you know."
"The beastblood?" I said. "About his…misgivings about it?"
He nodded. "And you know what…I think that maybe he was right about what he said to me once."
"And what was that?"
"That as a werewolf, I can't be a good Nord."
"So what are you saying then?"
"I want to be clean, like he was, and go to Sovngarde when I finally die. And I want to go there…with you."
"You want us to cure our beastblood?"
"Yes. If there's any favor that's more important than anything else, this is it. I want to do this before we're married. I don't ever want to put you in danger. I don't even want the possibility to be there."
Like he had done to Jorielle, I thought. Which reminds me of something… "Very well," I said. "I want to be cured, too…of my beastblood, and…also my other condition."
"Other condition?" he questioned.
"I want to be Nord again," I said.
"But…how?" he said. "Roxanne…I promise to love you no matter what for as long as I live. Don't let this be a reason not to get married."
"It isn't," I said. "I will still marry you and I also promise to love you for as long as I live. But Farkas, I…I really want you to do me this favor. Maramal, the priest, says that there is a cure. And it must come from you."
"I can cure you?" he asked.
"Yes, as my husband, you can. When we go see him, I will have him explain it to you. Please, Farkas…it means so much to me that you do this for me."
Farkas sighed. "If it means that much to you…you know I'd do anything for you, Roxanne."
I smiled. "Thank you, my love!" I hugged him and then said, "Well, we'd better get going. We have some business to attend to and then we'll go to the priest!"
"Show me the way," he said.
With me guiding the way, Farkas and I went to Glenmoril Coven and went inside. This time, we had to go a little deeper into the caverns to find the witches. They attacked us, but we both slew them and took two of the heads with us. We then trekked all the way to Ysgramor's Tomb and performed the same ritual that I had on Kodlak's soul. First, I did it for Farkas. And then he did it for me. His experience was much more dramatic, though. His wolf spirit was very strong compared to mine since he had carried the beastblood for many years. And after I slayed his wolf spirit, he fell to the ground. I ran to him and made sure he was alright. He was fine, but was just in a daze. When he came out of it, he told me that the experience felt like "relaxing into a warm mug of spiced mead" and that he now felt "so alive and aware." Finally, with both of our werewolf spirits done away with and cleansed, I felt like a huge burden was lifted off of my shoulders and I felt absolutely rejuvenated. After paying our respects to the dead in the tomb and putting some flowers at the foot of the statue in the main room, we left the tomb and decided to head back to Jorrvaskr first. We surmised that the Companions there were probably worried about us for being gone so long. It had been almost two days since we had left on our dragon hunting trip.
So Farkas and I went all the way back to Whiterun, arriving there in the early evening. We went into Jorrvaskr together, all ready to make our big announcement to everyone, and were surprised to find that the hall was completely empty.
"Where is everyone?" I asked, looking around.
Farkas and I stepped into the central area of the hall when we stopped in our tracks to listen. There were some noises coming from the patio. "Do you hear that?" Farkas asked me.
I nodded. We quickly made our way across the hall to the other set of double doors and opened them. Farkas and I were then shocked to see what was taking place before us. Everyone was out here on the patio and in an uproar. Near the center table, Njada and Kili were caught up in a brawl. I saw Kili punch Njada in the face and she fell back onto the ground, knocking over one of the chairs. Athis, Torvar, and Ria were egging them on while the Companions leaders had exasperated looks on their faces.
Suddenly, Farkas and I caught Aela's eyes and she ran over to us, demanding, "Where were you guys? We thought the dragon had overcome you!"
"Brother!" Vilkas exclaimed, running up to us, as well. He held his finger up to us and opened his mouth to say something but then he looked at me and frowned.
"We're fine," Farkas replied. "We slew the dragon at Ancient's Ascent and spent a couple of nights in the wilderness."
"May I ask what is going on?" I piped up, gesturing to the brawl behind them.
Aela closed her eyes and sighed. "Njada is just getting another hard lesson on the importance of keeping one's mouth shut."
"Is everything…alright?" I asked.
"Yes. Don't be too concerned, Harbinger," she said. "They've both just had a little too much mead to drink."
Just then, the other guys erupted with some "boos" and I saw Njada push past us and stomped into the hall. The four of us standing there exchanged curious glances and Aela turned around to address Kili, who looked like she had just declared victory over the brawl.
I saw Vilkas then turn to Farkas and say in a stern tone, "Brother, you and I need to talk."
Both Farkas and I knew what he wanted to say, so Farkas stopped him. "Before you do, Roxanne and I have an announcement to make."
Vilkas' brows furrowed with curiosity. "An announcement?"
The others behind him were still talking heatedly among themselves, so I yelled over the din, "Everyone, please! We have an announcement to make!" As the others began noticing us now, the din began to die down.
"Roxanne! Farkas!"
"You're back!"
"Yes, we are back. Safe and sound," I proclaimed. "And we bring happy news. Farkas and I are getting married!" I put my arm around his waist as I said this and watched as absolute shock overcame all of the faces on the patio. It was then followed by more uproar- this time, more jovial.
"Wow! I can't believe it!"
"What happy news!"
"Congratulations!"
"If it's alright, we are bringing more mead out!" I declared, and everyone cheered. I then turned to Farkas and whispered, "I'm going to get Njada. Be right back."
He nodded, and I left him to go back inside the hall to fetch Njada. She was in a sour mood when I found her, but when I told her the news, she said, "So he didn't kill you after all? Well, I'm happy for you!"
Everyone else then came inside and Farkas and I got to celebrate with everyone. We brought out more mead and had a great time as Farkas related the story about how he and I fought and killed the dragon to the guys and the women and I talked about the wedding.
"So…you and Farkas, huh?" Aela remarked. She, I, and the other women were lounging in the corner of the main hall, enjoying our drinks. "I don't know what you see in that icebrain, but I'm really happy for you!"
"There's more than meets the eye," I told her.
"So how did it happen?" Ria asked. "How did he propose?"
I related what happened out near Ancient's Ascent to Aela, Ria, Njada, and Kili. When I said that I was actually the one who came out with the proposal, everyone laughed.
"I didn't want to say anything, at first, but I thought you two might've had feelings for each other," Ria also remarked. "I guess I was right."
I smiled, and then looked at Kili, who flashed me a knowing smile. She was the only person who knew this all along.
"Well, I suppose you want me to accompany you to Riften?" Aela asked me.
"I would like that," I said. "We'll head out after breakfast tomorrow."
"And the wedding will be the day after?" Njada asked.
"Yes," I replied.
"I wish we could be there!" Ria said.
"Don't worry. When we return the next day, there will be much feasting to do!" I declared.
"All right!" Ria exclaimed excitedly.
We all talked about the wedding some more, and then as it got late, everyone retired to their quarters in a great mood- especially me.
After I bid my Shield-Sisters goodnight, I retreated to my room, feeling a deep sense of tiredness- something that I hadn't felt in a long time. Now that my beastblood was gone, I could no longer stay up past certain hours in the night and I looked forward to getting some pleasant, undisturbed rest. I changed into my nightgown, climbed into bed, and fell into a deep sleep.
Sometime during the night, I had a bad dream. In my dream, we had just gotten through with the wedding ceremony and Farkas took me to our room in The Bee and Barb to have our honeymoon. He then proceeded to undress me, but as I felt my clothes come off, my mind went into a panic. All I could think was, No, he can't see me naked! Not with all this…fur on my body! I tried to push him away and fought with him, even throwing punches and screaming, but he kept on insisting taking my clothes off. Then, before my eyes, I saw him begin to transform. Thinking that he was going to become a werewolf, I became scared. But to my horror, as I saw his form take shape, I saw that he had transformed into Mar'jan. Then, I woke up. As I looked frantically about the room, I was relieved to find myself still at Jorrvaskr in my bedroom. What a very bizarre dream! I thought. Why did Farkas turn into Mar'jan? Trying to shake off my disturbed state of mind, I fell back asleep.
The next morning when I woke up, a deeply troubled feeling began making its way into me as I thought of last night's disturbing dream. I then concluded sadly, There's just no avoiding it. There were still parts of me that I was still ashamed of. Even though Farkas reassured me that he loved me no matter what, there's still the fact of the matter that when we…do certain things together, like consummating our marriage…I am not going to feel completely comfortable. If Maramal can't cure me…then I'm not even sure if I can go through with this marriage at all. What am I going to do? I got up out of my bed and went upstairs. Farkas was up and having breakfast at the table. I sat down with him.
"Good to see you, dear," he said with a warm smile.
"Good to see you, too, darling," I said. I felt very uneasy and couldn't touch my food at the moment.
Seeming to notice this, Farkas asked me, "Everything okay?"
"I just feel very nervous," I replied.
"Me too," he admitted. "But I'm also excited. Aren't you?"
"Yes, I am. But…Farkas?"
"Yes?"
"Can I talk to you for a moment?"
"Sure."
"Let's…go in there." I gestured towards the study and we both got up and walked in there. Closing the door behind him, he faced me, taking both of my hands in his. "What is it, Roxanne? Tell me."
"Um…I'm afraid I need to ask you…another favor," I said.
"Anything. What is it?"
"I just want to let you know that…I still want to go through with the wedding. I really do. But…but, I just…"
"What? What is it?"
"I won't be ready to…to have our…honeymoon...right away," I said, feeling my face grow very hot.
Farkas frowned, looking deeply into my eyes, trying to probe my mind. Without saying anything, he then looked down at the ground. "You're still ashamed, aren't you? Of…of being a Khajiit."
I nodded, looking at the ground, too. "I still want to marry you, though."
He looked up at me and starting speaking with impatience in his tone, "Roxanne…"
"I promise you…" I interrupted and then squeezed both of his hands with mine for emphasis. "I promise you, Farkas…that when you cure me…I will let you have all of me."
He licked his lips thoughtfully and said, "This does mean a lot to you, doesn't it?"
"Yes," I said. "And you have my word."
He nodded silently. Then he said, "Okay. I promise to cure you. I will do anything to make you happy, Roxanne."
"As will I." I was immediately racked with guilt, though, as I thought about how patient he was to deal with all of my requests. Bless you, dear Farkas.
We then went back into the great hall. Others had started eating breakfast, so we told them that we were heading out to prepare the wedding. Vilkas and Aela joined us, and I asked Kili to join us as well, as I wanted both her and Aela to be there to help me prepare and to be at our wedding. The five of us departed from Jorrvaskr and headed southeast to Riften.
On the way there, I got a chance to talk to Kili somewhat in private as Farkas and Vilkas became occupied in conversation.
"Is everything all right between you and Njada?" I asked her.
"Yes, I think they will be," she responded.
"I think so, too," Aela said. "Between us, I did not say this but," she then lowered her voice into a whisper, "good on you for putting her in her place."
"Really?" Kili asked, surprised. "She just made me so mad, I…I felt like I overreacted."
"Well, she needed that," Aela assured. "That girl needs to learn to control her tongue."
"What exactly happened?" I questioned, still in the dark.
I then saw Kili's face turn red. "Um, I don't think I should tell you now." I saw her eyes quickly dart over to Vilkas, which confused me even more. "I'll tell you later sometime."
"Alright," I replied hesitantly. I wonder why she looked at Vilkas? Does it have something to do with him? I guess I'll have to wait to find out.
When we arrived in the misty town of Riften, Farkas and I went into the Temple of Mara together, telling the others to wait outside. Upon entering the familiar old chapel, Maramal recognized me right away and greeted me heartily. I introduced him to Farkas and said, "We wish to get married as soon as possible."
Maramal was ecstatic. He said that he would begin making preparations right away and that we were to be married here tomorrow, first thing in the morning. Farkas and I left the temple in good spirits and told Aela, Kili, and Vilkas the plan. We then went to The Bee and Barb and rented two rooms there- one for me, Kili, and Aela and one for Farkas and Vilkas. Keerava was able to rent me and the girls a small lakeside home called Honeyside since we needed a lot of space. It cost 200 gold to rent it for one night as opposed to the rooms in the inn which were only 10 gold, but it turned out to be worth it. When the three of us went into Honeyside, we fell in love with the place. It had a fireplace, big bed, a basement, and a small patio that overlooked Lake Honrich.
"You know, this would be the perfect place to have your honeymoon!" Kili gushed.
"It sure would," I said with a half-smile. If we do ever get to have our honeymoon, that is. "Um, but we aren't going to have ours right away, though."
"What do you mean?" she questioned.
"Um…" I began getting uncomfortable, but I knew that I had to explain myself. "We're not having one until I'm cured."
"You're going to give up your beastblood?" Aela asked.
"No, no…" I responded. "I mean…I already have done that."
"What?" Aela questioned in surprise.
"So you don't have beastblood anymore?" Kili asked.
"When did this happen?" Aela asked.
"Wait, my sisters…" I waved my hands in defense at their sudden barrage of questions. "Let me explain." I sat down on the bed as they stood in front of the fireplace to listen to my story. "Yes, it is true that I gave up my beastblood. And so has Farkas."
Aela and Kili exchanged surprised glances with each other.
"We cured ourselves on that day we came back from Ancient's Ascent, once we became betrothed. We said that we didn't want to be a danger to each other."
"Hmm," Aela said thoughtfully. "I guess it used to be a Nord custom to cleanse your soul before marriage. That's…quite honorable for you two, I suppose."
"Yes, but…I also want to be a human again," I said.
"But how?" Kili asked. "Is that even possible?"
"It is," I answered. "The priest who is marrying us tomorrow knows how it can be done."
"How?"
"He said that we would have to perform the ancient Nord wedding ritual," I said.
"The soul-cleansing ritual? I've heard about it, but I don't know what it entails," Aela said.
"You're not talking about the blood ritual are you?" Kili asked. "The one where you have to cut your wrists and mix your blood together in an alchemy potion?"
"Goodness," Aela uttered.
"That is the one," I answered. "But I don't think we will be doing that tomorrow."
"Why not? Don't you want to be cured?"
"More than anything," I replied. "But it's not that easy according to Maramal. In addition to the blood, you also have to mix in the petals of a flower called Amorebanum. Maramal said that this flower is so rare that it is nearly impossible to find."
"Damn. That is too bad."
"But…you said that you didn't want to have your honeymoon until you were cured," Kili said. "What if…what if you never find this flower?"
I shrugged. "Then, I suppose I'll just have to accept that I'll be a Khajiit for life."
"And will you have your honeymoon then?"
I felt my face grow hot again at the prying questions. "Yes," I sighed.
"You vex me, girl," Aela retorted. "You can't keep someone like Farkas waiting that long."
My jaw dropped open. "What do you mean by that!"
"She's just teasing," Kili said with a smile. "But she has a point. Don't deny him your womanly charms for too long."
"You two are impossible!" I cried and threw one of the pillows at them, in a way glad that they were able to distract my spirits away from my inner sadness. Some of the feathers came flying out. We then fell to giggling and laughing. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. When we opened it, I saw Dinya Balu standing there, holding some garments in her arms.
"Dinya!" I exclaimed. "Please come in!"
"I came to bring you your wedding garb," she said and stepped into the house.
"Oh!" I was surprised as I didn't know the first thing about weddings. I was under the initial impression that it was just like any other party in Skyrim, with lots of drinking and eating without much regard to what one wore. And I could tell by the curious looks on Aela's and Kili's faces that this was all new to them, as well.
"This," Dinya proclaimed, holding up a long and loose, light blue robe, "will be what you will wear, Roxanne."
I walked over to her as she helped me put it on. In addition to the light blue, there was also gold, fabric trim on the sleeves, collar, and sides. It was the fanciest attire I had ever worn.
"Wow, that is beautiful," Kili remarked.
"This was donated to us many years ago by an old Nord woman," Dinya explained. "She wore it on her wedding day. The light blue is a symbol of purity, clear like a mountain spring. And the gold is a symbol of the bride's beauty."
"I feel like a queen," I said.
"And you will also wear this on your head," she went on, showing me a floral crown. "Put it on tomorrow before you arrive at the temple." I took it from her, admiring it. Aela and Kili got a closer look, as well. It was a crown fashioned from strong twigs of some kind and garlanded with blue, yellow, and white flowers and small round, green leaves. "The flowers symbolize fertility and the clover leaves symbolize prosperity."
"Wow," I uttered, beginning to take this all in. It was all becoming very real to me now. I was to become a wife- and not just any wife, but the wife of Farkas, the Companion.
"My husband is making his preparations for the ceremony tomorrow, as well," Dinya told us. "Briehl is currently with your fiancé and his attendant to tell them what to do. We will be ready to begin at eight o'clock in the morning."
"Thank you, Dinya," I told her.
"My pleasure," she replied. "And if I haven't said it before, let me say now, congratulations! And may Mara give you good and happy dreams tonight!"
"Thank you so much," I said again and gave her a hug. She then went out of the house and left us.
We then decided to turn in for the night. It was getting late, and I couldn't wait to wake up in the morning and put on the beautiful robe and crown and finally walk into that temple to marry the man I admired so much. Kili and I shared the double bed near the patio door and Aela slept on the bed in the basement. Before I went to sleep, I decided to ask Kili again about her fight with Njada.
"She accused me of being Vilkas' pet," she explained to me as her face turned red.
"Why would she say that?" I asked incredulously.
"Well, when I first joined the Companions, Vilkas spent a lot of time training me, both at Jorrvaskr and out on the field," she explained. "I don't know why he did- I mean, Ria said that he worked with her a lot when she was brand-new, so I just thought that he liked playing the part of teacher to all the newbloods. Did he work with you a lot when you first came on as a Companion?"
I thought carefully. "No," I responded. "Not really. I actually spent a lot of time with Farkas come to think of it."
She giggled. "Oh, so that's how it all started!"
I laughed. "I guess so."
"Anyway, I guess he was impressed with me, because he invited me to join the Circle and I did. I think when Njada found out, she got…jealous or something, and so she started telling lies. She accused me of doing certain…favors for Vilkas in order to join the Circle."
"What? What kind of favors?"
"Favors of the…sexual kind."
"How awful!"
"It was outrageous! So I called her on it and that's how the fight started."
"Ooh," I remarked painfully. "I'm sorry that happened to you. Njada sure likes to…cause trouble, doesn't she?" I then thought about the rumor she had started about Farkas wanting to kill me. I decided not to mention it, though, because even that made me sick.
"Her social skills are um, somewhat lacking," she agreed. She then looked at me and asked, "So who initiated you into the Circle? Was it Farkas?"
"No, actually," I replied. "It was an elder Companion who unfortunately was killed soon after my initiation. His name was Skjor."
"Oh, okay. I've heard Aela talk about him. So, you didn't…join the Circle in order to…get closer to Farkas or anything?"
"No. In fact, joining the Circle nearly broke us apart. You've probably heard about Farkas' disdain for the beastblood. When I told him that I joined, he became angry with me."
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"It's okay. All is well now that we have cured ourselves."
"That is good. Well, I…to tell you the truth…I joined the Circle in order to get close to someone."
"Who?"
"Who do you think?"
"Vilkas?"
Kili nodded, biting her lip nervously.
"You…" My eyes widened as a mischievous smile spread across my face. "You fancy him!"
I watched as Kili's face turned as red as ripe snowberries as she shrugged and said sheepishly, "What can I say? He's been my Shield-Brother on a lot of our hunts. And when you and Farkas were gone, he and I went to go hunt some giants. And that was when it happened."
"When what happened?"
"He saw me…without my clothes on."
"What…?"
"He didn't actually see…anything! It was so fast and I had my back turned to him, but I just got done bathing in the river because I had mammoth blood all over me. And before I could fully dress, he came running saying that he saw a dragon in the hills and that we should leave immediately. But he didn't finish, and…oh, Talos, the expression on his face." She stifled a giggle.
"What did he say?"
"He muttered something like, 'Oh, my…I'm so sorry' and immediately turned around. We could not look each other in the eye for the rest of that day!"
I started laughing. The image of Vilkas becoming all flustered over seeing a naked woman was too much to take. I could not contain my laughter.
"Shhh!" she urged, embarrassed. "I don't want Aela to know about this."
I cleared my throat, trying to suppress my laughter. "I'm sorry. I'm just imagining the look on his face."
Kili laughed quietly, too. "What I found so endearing was how gentlemanly he was about it. You know, most men would've probably made a lewd comment, laugh, or something worse. Vilkas impresses me with his…compassion and understanding."
"Vilkas? Compassionate and understanding?" I had to admit, hearing of Vilkas being spoken of in such a manner was surprising.
She slapped my arm playfully. "Now you're about to speak ill of him!" she pouted.
"My apologies," I said sheepishly. "That's very thoughtless of me. So…are you ever going to tell him how you feel?"
"Well…I was thinking of purchasing an Amulet of Mara tomorrow after your wedding. I'm not going to start wearing it just yet but…soon."
"I hope that goes well," I said excitedly.
Finally, we both went to sleep.
The next morning, we all got up very early and decided to bathe in the lake just outside of our patio door. We spent the morning laughing and talking excitedly about the wedding and the celebrations afterward. After we had scrubbed ourselves clean and dried ourselves off, we went back into the house and Kili and Aela helped me put on the wedding robe and crown. When my attire was on, they both took a step back and Kili cried, "Oh, Roxanne…you are absolutely breathtaking!" I could feel tears starting to well up in my eyes. I felt like an otherworldly queen. I gave both girls big hugs. "Thank you, sisters," I said. "You have been such good friends to me."
"You have been to us, as well," Aela said. "Now come on. You have a wedding to get to!"
It was close to eight o' clock when Aela, Kili, and I went out of Honeyside and were greeted with a bustling town full of celebration. I guess weddings were a big deal in Riften! All of the townsfolk turned to admire me as the three of us made our way through the marketplace to the Temple of Mara. They threw flower petals and seeds onto my path and cheered as I walked. Aela and Kili opened the doors for me and I stepped in. In the dim light of the chapel, I saw Vilkas, Dinya Balu, and Briehl sitting in the benches. Aela and Kili took their seats with them, and I walked forward. In front of me, at the altar, were Maramal and…Farkas. My husband-to-be. He saw me and as I gazed at him, the corners of his mouth turned up into a smile. He was wearing a matching blue and gold-trimmed robe and a leafy crown, and had a long, steel sword strapped to his back. He looked so regal.
"Ah, here's the blushing bride now!" Maramal exclaimed. "Come. Let's begin the ceremony."
I took a deep breath and thought inwardly, This is it. As I walked the entire length of the aisle up to the altar, I didn't take my eyes off of Farkas, and neither did he take his off of mine. I took my place next to him and then Maramal began to speak.
Addressing those present in the temple, he announced, "Friends, I welcome you, for you are about to witness a very sacred moment. Two people are about to be joined together in holy matrimony within the divine presence of Mara. For it was Mara that first gave birth to all of creation and pledged to watch over us as her children. It is from her love of us that we first learned to love one another. It is from this love that we learn that a life lived alone is no life at all."
I looked over at Farkas and we exchanged soft smiles. I kept my composure but my insides felt like they were dancing about wildly. This is really happening! I thought excitedly.
"Hence, we gather here today, under Mara's loving gaze, to bear witness to the union of two souls in eternal companionship. May they journey forth together in this life and the next, in prosperity and poverty, and in joy and hardship." He then turned to Farkas and said, "Farkas, take your sword out now and hold it in front of you."
Farkas obeyed and brought out the steel sword that was attached to him and held it out in front of him, pointing it upward.
Maramal then turned to me and commanded, "Roxanne, join your hands with his on the hilt."
Farkas turned the sword towards me and I put my hands over his on the hilt. Maramal then picked up a box from the altar, opened it, and took out two silver rings. He presented them to us and said, "I now present you these rings- the bonds of matrimony. These are enchanted with the power of love, healing, and restoration. The unbroken circle represents the unbroken nature of the vows that you are about to take. Put these on now." He then handed Farkas the ring and I took my left hand off of the sword to have him put it on for me. I then took the other ring from Maramal and put it on Farkas' finger. Maramal continued, "With your hands joined together on the soul-binding sword, it is now time to take your vows. Farkas, do you agree to be bound to this woman in love, now and forever?"
Farkas never turned his gaze away from me as he clutched the sword and spoke loudly, "I do. Now and forever."
My heart began to flutter as Maramal then turned to me and said, "Roxanne, do you agree to be bound to this man in love, now and forever?"
Keeping my eyes on Farkas, I answered in a firm voice, "I do. Now and forever."
"You may let go of the sword now," Maramal said.
I took my hands off of the sword and Farkas handed it to him. He placed it carefully onto the altar and then addressed the crowd again, saying, "Under the authority of Mara, the Divine of Love, I declare this couple to be wed. You may kiss now."
Farkas and I exchanged elated grins and I nearly jumped into his arms as our lips joined together in a sweet kiss. Everyone in the chapel applauded. We separated and gazed into each other's eyes for what seemed like forever. It really happened. I'm married! I looked at all of our witnesses in the room. They were all beaming. Aela and Kili looked especially excited.
With the ceremony now over, Farkas and I took the time to greet everyone.
"Congratulations! I am so happy for the both of you!" Dinya Balu said.
Aela and Kili had many words for me, but they were mostly happy for me and wished me great days ahead. When I spoke to Vilkas, he looked genuinely happy. "Harbinger…I mean, Roxanne, I am so happy for you and my brother. I've never seen him so happy. I trust you will take good care of him."
"I will, Vilkas," I replied. "I am very happy, too."
After we had greeted everyone and received their blessings, Maramal told us that he wanted to speak with us privately. Thus, Dinya Balu and Briehl went outside and our fellow Companions followed suit, informing us that they would head out on the road to Whiterun ahead of us to prepare for the feast at Jorrvaskr.