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CHAPTER THREE

THE AFTERMATH

"Bloody Hell!" Ron whispered after waking up the next morning with his Veela, Metamorph, and Slytherin wife draped over him in various states of dress.

"It's good to see you lived up to the Gryffindor bravery after all," Tracy whispered back, a slight smile showing itself.

"You mean that wasn't a dream?" He asked. "And why are you being nice to me? I thought you hated me."

"Hated you? I barely knew you. I admit I considered Gryffindors a little Mary and Gary Sue-ish but—"

"What?" Ron asked.

"Nothing, anyway, anybody that can brass off Malfoy as much as the Golden Trio can, can't be all bad."

"Golden Trio?" he echoed back.

"Yeah, pretty stupid name, isn't it? Some poor schmuck came up with it, probably had some kind of repressed sexual desire about showers and three. . . ." She paused.

"Thanks," Ron said. "You could tell?"

"Yeah, I guess I'm able to feel you pretty good through the bond now. Of course, I felt you pretty good last night too."

She watched as he turned bright red.

"You really are going to have to stop blushing like that and start sticking up for yourself or we're going to make your life a living hell, you do know that."

"Would you two keep it down?" Tonks asked.

Tracy and Ron looked at each other then back at Tonks. "Did I wear you out that much?" Ron asked. "Sorry, just a little youthful still, I guess."

Tonks flashed Ron a look of death and Tracy wiped a fake tear from her eye. "He learns so fast."

"Don't encourage him, Slytherin princess," Tonks mumbled from her side of Ron.

"But Nymphydory," Jacquette said, laying on the other side of tonks, "you were encouraging 'im all night. 'More! Yes! Just let me get a better hold of the chandelier!' Ow!" She turned around glared at Tonks who had just swatted her on the rear.

"I didn't even know I had a chandelier in here," Ron commented, looking down at the floor where it broke loose from the ceiling and fell sometime last night. "Mum's going to have a fit when she sees the damage to the room."

"MUUUUMMMMMMY" All three wives cried out at the same time."

"I'm never living that down, am I?"

"No way in hell," Tonks answered.

"Since everyone's up, think we should find out how the other bonded – er - are doing? What do we call them, by the way? They sure aren't a couple." Tracy pondered.

"Quintuple?" Tonks offered.

"I zhink we should shorten it to 'quids'."

"Quids?" Ron repeated, unsure of the word.

"It's better than Quintuple," Tracy said, "not as much of a mouthful."

"Don't even say it!" Ron snapped off at Tonks, hearing the thought in her head.

"What's wrong, Magi?" Tonks asked.

"Magi? Since when am I a Magi?"

"Since you did magic," Tracy answered. "Technically all wizards are Magi – short for magician."

"Oh, didn't know that."

"Zhere's a lot of things you didn't know before last." Jacquette teased.

"Yeah, but I noticed you two were the ones dog-tired this morning," Ron answered, gesturing to the two older wives.

"That's because of the dog that mounted us!" Tonks reminded him.

"Dog?" Ron said, "Hey, let me show you something." He leaned over and licked Tonks's cheek. "From what I hear, it's all the rage amongst Quids."

Tracy shook her head and slapped him on the shoulder. "If you're right, then knock it off!"

"Why?" Ron asked, smiling as Tonks rubbed her cheek against his arm to dry it off.

"Because, silly magi, licks are for Quids."

X O X O X O X

"He did what?" Daphne asked later that afternoon.

Tracy sat down in the chair and laughed. "Leaned over and licked her cheek."

"I guess that's one way of being cheeky."

Tracy rolled her eyes. "Speaking of mates, so what's like being with Harry Potter?"

"I have no clue. Fleur's a princess of the worst kind, Ginny's everything wrong about Gryffindor, and I can't stop thinking about complex Arithmancy equations due to Hermione. She actually interprets Runes in her dreams."

"And Buttons?" Tracy asked.

"She's the most sane out of all of us. Speaking of which, I gotta go, my bonded wives are calling me."

Tracy couldn't help but chuckle at the way her mouth twisted over the words. "Where are you going?"

"Supposedly, we've decided that we need to work this thing out. We can't do it with everyone here so we're going to Hermione's house. She says her parents are in Australia for some reason."

Tracy lifted an eyebrow. "Australia? So you're all going to be alone with him? Maybe you'll actually finish the bond."

"Don't threaten me like that," Daphne growled.

Tracy laughed. "I can't help but wonder how the bond will be completed with Buttons." She ducked a light jinx shot at her head. "Testy! Aren't you!"

The wand came back up to eye level.

"Alright, I give. I'll walk you back to the house."

They made their way into the crowded Burrow to see Bill and Harry in the front room.

"Make sure you treat her right, Harry. Treat all of them right, okay?"

"I will. I really am sorry, I never intended for this to happen."

Bill hitched a tight smile. "I can't say it's okay, I really am brassed off at the situation, but it's not your fault. After all, you have saved half the Weasley family. Can't fault you for thinking you'd have to save another one."

Harry thanked him for understanding and with his bondmates in tow, Apparated to Hermione's house.

X O X O X O X

A minute later, a couple owls flew through an open window and dropped two fifty Galleon tickets on the table for "Apparation Without a License."

Harry stared at them. "Can't anything go right in my bleedin' life?"

"Uh, oh!" Ginny said with a gasp. She looked at Harry. "Wrong word, or right one. Looks like your life is about to be filled with a lot more of it."

"A lot more of what?"

Suddenly, all five bondmates, even Buttons had a strange look on their face. "Zut! Mine was jhust last week!" Fleur huffed as the five of them ran off to the bathroom.

Harry sat down on the couch and turned on the TV, He wasn't sure what he was in for, but it wasn't going to be pretty. He could already tell that through the bond.

The next four days were absolute hell. Harry learned all about embarrassment and feminine hygiene products – at the same time.

"Do you really need that many?" the shop clerk asked, looking at him a little warily as Harry picked the fourth package from the shelf and put it in his basket. If Harry could Obliviate himself . . . of course, he had to pick the one store where the clerk was a late-twenties beauty. "It took me five years to train my husband to get the right ones. Would you like me to help? You can take all the credit when you go home."

Help? How in the bloody blazes – bad choice of word – do I tell her that I need them for four women and a garden gnome?

"Um, yeah, sure. The problem is, I have to pick up some for my, um, sisters too."

"Don't tell me it hit all of them at the same time."

"Yeah, within a few minutes of each other, even," Harry mumbled.

"You poor thing, here, let me help. You're going to need it."

Fifteen minutes later, a thankful but red-faced Harry walked out of the store, loaded up with pills, wads of material in assorted shapes, lettuce, vegetables, beans, and other items containing Iron and Calcium and whatever else was needed.

He slipped into the alley and began to Apparate when he remembered the letter he received. With a sigh and a check to make sure no one could see what he was carrying, Harry walked the four blocks back to the house.

He opened the door to a cat fight – almost literally, as Hermione and Fleur were currently hissing at one another.

"Hermoine?" Harry questioned, trembling at the sight of his best friend transformed into a raging, spitting, inferno of wrath.

"What do you want, you Bastard!"

"Wha. . . ? I . . . ." four other pairs of eyes turned on him.

"I'm going to die."

After more time had passed than Harry wanted to admit, he sat the bags down on the table slowly and backed up. "I think I'm going to go to the Burrow for a while to um . . . check up on things. I'll be back . . . tomorrow?"

Hermione crossed her arms.

"Early in the morning?"

Daphne produced her wand.

"Late tonight?"

Ginny tied her hair up in a bun, preparing for a hexing match.

"Not so late tonight?"

A small fireball showed up on Fleur's right hand.

"Alright, just a few hours, I promise."

WHUMP!

"Ouch!" Harry cried and reached down for his foot, where he saw Buttons with a rubber mallet.

"Two hours, tops, understand?" she said.

Harry nodded and ran out of the house. He summoned his broom and Invisibility cloak, threw the latter over himself, then hopped on his broom and pushed off, desperately trying to put as many miles between him and the House of Hormones as possible.

X O X O X O X

"I already told you! They HISSED at each other!"

Ron was holding his sides laughing as he fetched another butterbeer for Harry to calm his nerves.

George shook his head. "I wouldn't be laughing if I were you, little brother, you have three of them yourself."

Ron contemplated that for a moment. "Harry, could you pensieve the memory for me? I need to see what I'm headed for."

"Don't worry about it," Jacquette said. "It won't be so bad for us."

"Why not?" Tonks asked. "Not that I'm complaining."

"They 'ave a bond between three species – and they aren't used to resisting each other's feelings yet, which can't happen until they consummate the marriage anyway. Since we've already consummated, we're almost used to each other now. It'll just be like normal for us."

"Wait," George looked at his younger brother. "I may have found a new respect for you."

"It's a good thing we didn't spread those rumors about him last year," Fred reminded him.

"Which ones were those?" George asked

"Don't you remember? The ones where he and Trelawney—"

"Oh yeah!"

"It was one of our better ones!" Fred decried. "What could make you forget about that?"

*"A few things - A bucket of chocolate sauce and Remus on a cold night, for instance," George answered.

"You say the sweetest things!"

Ron picked up a pillow and bounced it off his brother's head. "Scarring Harry's mind with mental pictures like that won't help him."

"He's right," Fred acknowledged. "Save the chocolate sauce for later tonight."

"Sure. Anyone know if Lupin is coming over?"*

"Enough boys!" Molly yelled from the kitchen.

Harry got up out of his chair. "I think I'm going to go for walk."

"Good idea, mind if we come with you?" Ron asked.

"Who's we?"

"Us," Tonks said as she stood up. Jacquette and Tracy followed and the five of them walked through the gate in the backyard and out to the forest beyond.

"So, have you thought anymore about the Horcrux hunt?" Ron asked when they arrived at the mud-wrestling pit.

"I'll be lucky to survive this week!" Harry cried. "How in the name of Merlin's soggy left nut do you expect me to think about the Horcrux hunt?"

Tracy patted Harry on the back. "It'll be okay. I just hope you have the stamina to make it."

Tonks snorted.

"Don't worry, Harry, everything always works out well for you," Ron said. "At least, it does in the end."

"Really?" Tonks asked.

"Not like that, you naughty witch." Tracy reprimanded her with a smirk.

Harry gawped at the two of them when Ron smiled, cocksure and relaxed.

"Our Ron iz looking sure of 'imself," Jaquette said.

"He should be," Tracy answered. "He doesn't cry out for mummy anymore, either."

The smile dropped from Ron's face.

"Thanks," Harry said. "That almost made up for the twins."

Ron rolled his eyes and put an arm around Harry. "Don't worry about the Horcruxes. We'll get everything ready for the hunt."

Harry threw him a disbelieving glance.

"What? So marriage has been good for me. What can I say?"

X O X O X O X

Harry landed in the back yard and pulled his cloak off, before walking to the back door and opening it as quietly as possible. He slipped in and put his broom and cloak down in the corner of the dining room, then creaped into the front room. Even though he was a few minutes early, he didn't want to risk upsetting anyone. He found the couch where he'd been sleeping the last three nights, and settled down into it, pulling the covers over him.

Five minutes later, he had the feeling he was being watched. Palming his wand, he slowly pulled the covers down from his face as he looked out into the darkened living room, and right into the same five pairs of eyes he left two hours ago.

"'Arry," Fleur purred in a sultry voice, standing in a little nighty. "Are you still awake?"

His eyes enlarged to twice the size. "Y y yes?"

Ginny drew a finger down Fleur's arm, then ran her hand through her own hair and looked out from underneath her eyelashes at Harry. "The bond's done something strange to our – what was that called, Hermione?" She cooed playfully.

"They're called Hormones," Hermione answered. "And they cause a witch to have . . . cravings."

Harry was scared sti. . . er, scared to death.

Daphne stepped behind Hermione and slipped her arms around the Gryffindor witch. "Lots of cravings – insatiable, burning desire type cravings. Do you understand, Harry?"

Harry nodded, unable to speak.

"Good!" Button said from the coffee table, standing next to Fleur. "Now go get us chocolate! What's with all this healthy garbage you bought for us What are we? Rabbits?"

"And ice cream too!" Hermione warned. "Lots of it. At least a Kilogram!"

"Two Kilograms, I zhink, chocolate."

"Mmm," Ginny purred. "Fleur, I think we just may get along. If Harry hurries up, he can even watch me lick it off you."

Harry was off the couch and out of the house in fourteen seconds, only to have to return and put his trousers on before running back out of the house.

~ . ~ . ~

As the door closed the second time, his bondmates fell about themselves laughing.

"Zhat was cruel, Jhinney!" Fleur said between paroxysms of laughter.

"It was worth it. He'll be back here within the quarter hour, guaranteed."

"Yeah, but what then?" Hermione asked. You basically promised. . . ."

Ginny turned to Fleur. I hope you really like chocolate.

"Zhat's okay, I'm sure there's many other little witches in the world zhat's bonded over 'Arry Potter and Ice Cream in the last few years.

A/N Alright, this one got a bit more risqué than I intended . . . It wasn't intended like that when I started, but hey, if the guys can take a few hits to the ego. . . . Anyway, it definitely won't get any worse than this and truthfully, it's going to be dialed back a bit. I really don't like writing risqué stuff, but the scene just played itself out.

It was another fun chapter to write however. Speaking of chapters, the last one had lines from DylanBlack's "Harry's Harem" (yep, definitely entertaining), and a poke at Driftwood1965's Harry Potter and the Price of Being Noble (bond = marriage). As I said before, both of these are fun fics and I poke at them out of respect for them, though DylanBlack is quite a bit more risqué in places, but I've found I can skip that and still get the storyline.

For those of you waiting for an update on "When a Veela Cries," It's probably coming out next weekend. I should be getting it back from my second Beta today or tomorrow, and then it has two more hops to go.

*I lifted this idea, boldly and proudly, from a hilarious and purposefully over the top Tri-Wizard tournament fic from Jeconais titled Hogwarts Dawn. However, in his fic, the comment was about Sirius – and said in his presence. He has graciously provided permission for doing so. Please visit his fic and give it a read as a thank you. The address is jeconais dot fanficauthors dot net backslash Hogwarts_Dawn/Chapter_1/ Don't use the www. also, you need to log in, while it is rated "mature," it probably should have a PG-13 rating at worst.

Matter of fact, please visit all these fics if you haven't and leave reviews – they're all worth it.

** No Garden Gnomes or feminine hygiene products**
** have been harmed in the making of this fic.**

**E. C. Scrubb owns no rights to the Harry Potter Story or Universe.**
**Seriously, you've read my writing, do you think I'd of even sold one book?**

**So yeah, no money made off this and no copyright infringement intended**