All credit goes to 4 LEAF STUDIOS. Special thanks to all who read my works and have reviewed.
3 days later.
0000
Hanako's mornings were always the same. She had made a habit of waking up before everybody. Not because she was the early bird type, but because she had to. Needing to use the showers meant undressing, and she wanted to get it over with before any of the other students might wake up.
The bathrooms were clearly arranged differently from those of other schools. Each one had two shower stalls, a bathtub, and two sinks. Hanako opened the door, peeking inside through the narrow opening. No one in sight. She pushed the door open, and made her way to one of the shower stalls.
Deciding it would be best to enter before someone walked in on her, she got in fully dressed, holding in her hand a plastic bag containing a bottle of body shampoo. She quickly striped, and placed her nightgown in the bag.
The water felt surprisingly refreshing on her body. Or at least on the part of her body that could still feel it. Squeezing the tube in her palm, she began to rub her body with the dark blue shampoo. Gently, but once she reached her scarred arm, she felt a gulp in her stomach. The feeling of having to wash that part of her was appalling, even if there was no one around to see her. With shaky strokes, she washed her arm, and reached in the back.
She heard the door of the stall next to her open, and she dropped the shampoo tube on the floor. A sudden sense of urgency rushed into her. Get out! Get out! Finish what you need to do and get out!
She frantically picked up the shampoo, and began to scrub her body. In his haste, she felt her nails scratching the skin. But she didn't care. All that mattered was to get out before the person in the next stall could see her.
She finished her back, and started working on her chest. The girl in the next stall was humming a song, only slightly muffled by the sound of running water. Hanako started washing her hair, when a new sound reached her. A thud, a distinctive sound of a body hitting the floor. Hanako froze.
"A…are you okay?" she asked, tapping twice on the plastic wall.
No reply came. Hanako waited for about three minutes, until she decided it was okay to open the door. Stepping out, still in her pajamas, she looked at the stall next to her. She asked again, but no reply came.
Gulping, she mustered the courage to pull the shower curtain aside.
And she froze on the spot.
On the floor was a girl, only slightly shorter than she was. Her short blue hair was still wet, and had traces of shampoo in it. Her head rested on one of the plastic walls, and she still held the showerhead in her hand. Her legs were stretched, revealing her nude form. Hanako's mind processed the sight before her, and decided to hand the action over to the lungs.
Her scream echoed in the hallway.
Though petrified in fright, she managed to hear the sound of a door opening, followed by frantic footsteps.
"Hey, what on earth are you screaming about so early in the morning?"
She turned, seeing a tall, tan skinned girl, wearing her PE clothes. She recognized her from class, though her name was unfamiliar. Her eyes got a quick glance at the bandages that covered the stump that was her left hand.
"Some pervert walked in on ya?" asked the girl.
Hanako just pointed to the collapsed girl, without a word. The tan girl looked past her shoulder, and quickly pushed Hanako out of the way.
"Oh Su, you sure can pick the right place to dose off."
Hanako looked puzzled, as the girl turned off the water.
"Well don't just stand there, hand me that towel." She exclaimed. "Or do you like staring at naked girls?"
Hanako's face exploded in a blush, and she handed the desired object to the one-armed girl. She wrapped the towel around her with surprising dexterity, considering her missing hand. Picking the collapsed girl in her arms, she walked out the door without another word.
Chapter 3: The world in a page
By the time Hanako had reached her class, Mutou was already doing the morning role call. The teacher allowed her to enter without a word. Not that she felt the need to talk to anyone. Making her way to her own desk in the back, Hanako caught sight of two empty chairs. The girl with the missing arm wasn't present.
Mutou closed his notepad, and got up from his seat, when the door opened for a second time. Hanako looked, and saw the one-armed girl walk inside.
"Miura, any idea where Suzuki happens to be?"
"Yeah, she sort of…dosed off in the shower. I took her to her room."
Mutou nodded, and motioned to the class to form groups. Most of the students sat in the same groups they had been all the times they had to do such exercises. Hanako remained in her place. The teacher placed her worksheets before her, and walked back to his desk.
Hanako looked down at the papers, but before deciding what she wanted to start first, she noticed a female form towering before her. Looking up, she noticed the pink-haired girl. Her wide grin made all of Hanako's morning angst feel that much worst.
"Hello…Misha."
"Great, you remembered my name." laughed the girl, crossing her chest. "And just for the record, don't take my name as Russian."
Hanako gave no reply to the joke. Looking down at her papers, she prayed that the girl would return to her desk.
"Come on, Hanako. You're in our group today."
Misha's statement was met by silence. Hanako still looked down, taping the papers with her index finger. Misha frowned slightly.
"Hey, you don't want to hunker back, do you? Come on, Shiichan wants to know you better?"
"It's okay…I'm fine here." said Hanako, her voice giving a strange cadence to the class.
Misha's palms struck Hanako's desk, making her twitch.
"You know I don't take no for an answer. Come on, group work is so much more fun than wallowing in self pity."
Hanako felt like an invisible hand had just punched her in the stomach. Misha's arm reached out, and grabbed Hanako's wrist. The girl's face took an even deeper shade of pale, as her other hand was placed over Misha's arm. Her eyes were now wide, and her shoulders were visibly shaking.
"H…hey, cut it." snapped Misha.
Hanako's fingernails sank into Misha's wrist, forcing a sharp gasp to escape her lips. Hanako's mind began to spin, as the other students began to stare at her.
Mutou's hand gently rested on Misha's shoulder, and it seemed like that was enough to snap Hanako out of it.
"Thank you, Mikado; you can go to your seat now."
"S…sure teach." She stammered, returning next to Shizune. Three puncture marks were clearly visible in her skin. Hanako gulped, looking at Mutou with fearful eyes.
"You can work alone if you want."
He returned to his desk without another word. Hanako looked at her fingers. It wasn't anything new. During the time she had spent in hospital, the doctors had to wrap her fingers in bandages to prevent her from scratching her burned flesh. Her nails had never been too long, since she felt no need to paint them.
She sneaked a peak at Misha. What sort of impression did she make? It seemed like wherever she went, fear would follow her. Just like the orphanage, just like school, she was going to be alone.
0000
Lunch break came most mercifully, reliving Hanako of the classroom. Picking up her bag, she dashed out of the room, abandoning her worksheets on the desk. She had only one thing in mind at the moment: to go to the library, and get her card.
She walked to the counter, looking for the librarian.
"H…hello?"
Immediately, the sound of something hitting the wood under the counter reached Hanako. Yuuko popped up, rubbing a red sore right above her left brow.
"Sorry, sorry, I just dropped a pencil."
The face, the gestures. Hanako just couldn't restrain herself. She covered her mouth, desperate to restrain her laughter.
Yuuko finished straightening her hair, and turned to the student before her.
"You're Hanako, right?" she asked, searching in a pile of laminated cards.
"Right." Confirmed Hanako, still with a smile on her face.
Yuuko returned from the table she was working at, and handed Hanako her ID card, and two relatively short books.
"Here you go. We have some other books on chess, but you have to wait until they're available."
Hanako nodded, and made her way along the shelves. There were around a dozen students in the reading room. Hanako kept moving, desperate to find a secluded place, and at the same time holding one of the books at the level of her face, trying to hide her scars.
She reached a shelf, with two beanbag seats placed before it. Looking around, she decided that it was a safe place to sit. She decided it would be best to keep the book as high as possible, to avoid eye contact with anyone. She found the place refreshing. The hush voices of the students were almost a distant memory, imaginary mosquitoes from a black and revolting world. The seat beneath her was more comfortable than the seats of the class, allowing her to sink in a state of sweet rest.
"Scuse me, can I take this seat?"
Hanako twitched, pressing the book even closer to her face. Moments later, three fingers gently pushed the book down, revealing a fairy familiar face. Hanako's eyes widened, by this invasion of privacy. She recognized her. It was the girl she had seen in the shower. The girl's dark blue eyes looked into Hanako's face carrying the most cheerful smile she had ever seen. The girl sat on the beanbag next to Hanako's, setting three books on the table in front of her.
"Sorry, it's just so hard to find the right place to read, don't you agree?"
Hanako looked bewildered. Was the girl actually trying to…be nice to her? She looked at her. Nothing strange about her. At least nothing external. But then again, why did she collapse in the shower.
The girl turned to her, extending her hand. Hanako accepted, holding out her undamaged arm. They shook hands, feeling like an eternity for Hanako.
"I'm Suzu, but you can call me Su if you want to."
"I…ve seen you before." Stated Hanako, still looking at the floor. "This morning."
"Huh? When did you…" inquired Suzu, immediately slapping her forehead. "Shoot, forgot about that. Sorry, hope it wasn't much of a shock."
"What happened?" asked Hanako, realizing that she may be asking a question that was far too inappropriate.
"Well, I do tend to dose off from time to time. Kinda like epilepsy, but without the spasms and foaming. I just fall asleep. Can happen anytime, anywhere."
"That must be really…strange."
"At least it's not painful. Okay, most of the time. It depends where I land when it hits. At one time, it happens when I was descending a ladder. Broke my leg."
Hanako decided not to press the issue further, and reached for her book. Suzu's eyes caught sight of the title.
"So you like chess?"
Hanako gave a shy nod. "Y…yes. Do you?"
"Not really. I'm more the bookworm type of girl. Due to my issue, my sleep program is all messed up. Books help me stay on track. Heck, they beat the pills."
Hanako looked at the books on the table. The cover of one of them struck her at once.
"Can I see it?"
"Oh, this one? Yeah, we're going to discuss it today at the literature club."
She handed the book to Hanako. The cover depicted a young blonde woman in a knight's armor. She was tied to a burning steak, her face looking to the heavens with a serene smile. Its title was The life and deeds of Joan of Arc. Hanako's fingers gripped the edges. The sensation of pain, even if imaginary, struck her skin. Her wide eyes were transfixed on the cover. The girl on it was burning. Just like she had burned.
Feeling nauseous, she set the book back on the table.
"Like it? I've always been fascinated by that girl. Not by how she died, but by how she lived. What she achieved and how she brought herself through all those trials."
Suzu seemed for a moment lost in her thoughts, a small blush lighting her cheeks.
"So Hanako, you like reading?"
"Yes." She replied, without realizing why she was even opening herself to this stranger.
"Then come to the literature club. We're having a meeting in two hours. You don't need to join, just come by and have a look."
Hanako felt unnerved. She had never been part of a club. At first because no one wanted to be around her, and then because she had decided it would be best to avoid such activities. "T…that's enough! You wanted to come here!" she mentally slapped herself." Everyone's broken here, just like you. Go for it."
"How…many people will be there?" she asked, almost ashamed of her question.
"Well, generally there's about ten of us. Two are from our class, but they don't come around very often. Why, got Agoraphobia or something?"
"What's that?" asked Hanako, fearing what answer she would get.
"Fear of crowded places and contact with people. If that's the case, please tell me."
Hanako's mind was pinned by this one word. Agoraphobia. A word she had heard for the first time. And that had changed so much in about a minute. Is this what's wrong with me? I'm afraid of…people?
Suzu's voice brought her back from the world of thoughts.
"So, you wanna come or what?"
Hanako nodded, her eyes now fixed on the fabric of her skirt.
0000
Suzu opened the door, and motioned to Hanako to enter. With small steps, Hanako approached the door, and peeked inside. The room was brightly lit by the afternoon sun. Several piles of books were found on the single table of the room. Four people were in the room. A boy, whom she had recognized from class, turned to her. He said nothing, just nodded. Hanako noticed a cane leaning next to his seat.
Suzu took Hanako by the hand, and walked her to the table. She placed her books down, and took out a notebook from her bag. Hanako looked around, and thanked to all the heavens that no one was asking her anything.
The door opened, and a woman, most likely in her late twenties, came in. She wore a knee-long brown skirt, and matching suit. Her medium-length hair was tied in a ponytail.
"That's Haruna." Whispered Suzu to Hanako. "She's in charge of the club. That and the homeroom teacher of class 3-2."
The teacher looked across the room, catching sight of Hanako. The girl gulped, wanting to be anywhere but not under her gaze.
"So, we have a new member? Good, good, the school can use more avid readers." She walked to the table, and measured Hanako from head to toe.
"So, why don't you start with your name." she said in a reasonable tone.
Hanako looked up, her eyes still bathed in fear.
"H…Hanako."
The word felt like it was ripped from her soul. The teacher nodded, scribbling her name on a piece of paper.
"Right. So…Hanako, why do you want to join the club?"
The girl tried to open her mouth, but no sound came. Why did she come here? There was no reason to do so, except but for the nagging of the girl next to her. Keeping her eyes glued on her lap, she whispered the only words she could.
"I don't know."
The teacher raised an eyebrow, before giving a cheerful smile.
"Well, then you should just stay here and listen. In the meantime, why don't you tell us what sort of literature you prefer?"
"I…I mean…I don't know. I just…like to read."
"So, you like reading for reading's sake. That's rather deep. Have you ever thought of the statement: since art begets art, literature begets…"
"…literature?" interrupted Suzu.
"Actually, I was going to say that it begets imagination and magic in the form of letters, but your answer is pretty good too." Laughed Haruna.
She backed up a few steps, and pointed to Suzu.
"Right. Last time we talked about the value of self sacrifice, and the overcoming of gender fear. Su, can you tell us, in your opinion, what did Joan of Arc accomplished?"
The bluenette scratched her head.
"Well, I guess she proved that death doesn't mean the end of life. By dying, she had the belief that her act would bring her nation to life."
"Interesting. And did she achieve that goal?"
The student with the patched ear raised his hand.
"Yes, Akio."
"Not really. The hundred year's war lasted 22 more years after she died."
"And does this invalidate her mission?"
Suzu raised her hand immediately.
"I'd have to say no. She did manage to drive the English from the main French cities."
"Yes, well, that's all fine and good. But you are aware that she died as a heretic. She was only acquitted in 1456. Until that time, her memory had been forever tarnished in the eyes of history."
Another of the students raised his hand.
"But why did people still believe in her divine visions then?"
"Good question." Sighed the teacher. "Maybe because…"
"She burned."
All eyes turned to Hanako. As always, her eyes seemed to stare into empty space. "Where did that come from?" she mentally slapped herself. She felt embarrassed for having drawn attention unto herself, and yet couldn't help it.
"Interesting comment, Hanako. Indeed, while death by burning was reserved for heretics in the Middle Ages, it was also a means of execution by which many 1st century martyrs perished."
"So, that means they saw in her fire something like a, what you call that, death for God?" asked Suzu.
"Very likely yes. You remember her last gesture, right?"
The boy with the cane raised his hand again.
"She wanted to have a crucifix leveled with her eyes."
Hanako felt her stomach churn. God. It was a word she had rarely used before. All she needed to do is look in the mirror to realize it was a word not mentioning. Yet now she was talking about a girl who burned for the sake of that one word.
She felt shivers up her spine. It was amazing in a way. The same type of fire that had killed her had taken her family and, in a way, her life. Guess when it comes down to it, fire had traversed time, but not God.
She felt her eyes getting wet, and she quickly whipped them with her sleeve, before Suzu or the teacher could notice anything. Haruna picked up several worksheets, and handed them to the students.
"Okay, here's what I want to do for our next meeting. You've got copies of our next book on the line, why we broke up. But before we talk about that one, I want each of you to write a page long essay, explaining why you feel like you have in common, or not in common with Joan of Arc."
She looked around the class, and clapped her hands.
"Okay, enjoy your afternoon."
As usual, Hanako preferred to wait until the class had emptied. Soon, it was only her and the teacher. She began to pack her things, when Haruna's voice put a hold on her actions.
"Hanako, I really enjoyed your way of thinking today."
The blush on Hanako's face only remained there for a moment. Compliments were something that she rarely received.
"Th…ank you."
"If you can, come by my class tomorrow. I've got something that you'll find interesting."
"About what?" asked Hanako, her voice echoing in the class?
"You won't find out unless you come, won't you?"
The conversation came to a halt. Hanako couldn't bring herself to talk more than she had. Time had told her that people can hide more than their voices could reveal.
She gave a polite bow, and left the room. Away from the afternoon light. Away from books and letters.
0000
Night caught Hanako in her room. She decided it was for the best to remain inside for the remainder of the day. Though the wooden door still blocked the sounds from outside, they couldn't hide the sounds from inside. Hanako's closed eyes were now a curtain. A curtain on which her mind projected whatever it wanted.
A brief picture of Joan flashed in her eyes. She wasn't burning. Her hair was flowing like a banner in the wind. Hand outstretched, Hanako's fingers touched the imaginary hand that was now reaching out to her.
She looked in her eyes. And any thoughts of fire vanished into drops of black ink.
NOTE: Suzu Suzuki's disability is called narcolepsy, a chronic sleep disorder, which can occur spontaneous, at any given moment. She had no role in the VN, and all we know about her is that she's part of the literature club.
PS: I intend to extend her relationship with Miki, into a one-shot shoujo-ai story. It should be done by the end of the week.