All the Small Moments

I don't own Phineas and Ferb. Dan Povenmire and Jeff 'Swampy' Marsh do.

I do, however, own this version of Human!Perry and Agent M (Molly the Mouse).

Pairings include: Human!PerryxVanessa, Parental!MonogramxHuman!Perry, Frenemy!HeinzxHuman!Perry, Brotherly!FerbxHuman!PerryxPhineas, Parental!LindaxHuman!Perry, One-sided!MollyxHuman!Perry.

If any of these pairings make your skin crawl, hit the back button.

…

1. Job -

Perry tied his tie, staring in the mirror. He picked up the comb and sent it through his teal hair, brushing out the knots. Turning to the closet, he pulled out his blazer and slipped it on. As he turned to leave the bedroom, the floor opened beneath him and he fell through, landing in his lair. The screen flashed on and his boss' face came on the screen. "Morning, Agent P."

Perry's fedora fell down on top of his head. "Morning, sir."

"On with your mission…"

Later…

"Seriously, Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz exclaimed as Perry tied him up. "Why'd ya always have to go for the nose?" He asked, looking at his bruised nose.

"It's my job, Heinz." Perry simply replied, then waited for this so-called 'backup' to arrive.

2. Kiss -

Perry had been kissed by Vanessa quite a few times. She'd kissed him on the lips, the cheek, the forehead. Though there was one kiss, other then their first one, that he'd always remember.

He was still a platypus at the time. During one of his battles with Doofenshmirtz, the inator (which's name escapes him) had knocked Vanessa off of the balcony. Doofenshmirtz had cried out for her and Perry had jumped off, attaching his jetpack to his back and quickly catching her before she could fall. Under her request, he had not taken her back to her father's. He'd set her down on the sidewalk. Vanessa had smiled and gently kissed his cheek. Perry had paused, his eyes widening. Then he smiled back and tipped his hat. With that, the platypus had flown off, hearing Vanessa's call of: "Thank you, Perry the Platypus!"

3. Phones -

After overhearing several of Perry's phone calls, which usually end in "Yes, of course we can meet up there. See you then. Bye.", Vanessa began to get suspicious. While he was talking to Major Monogram, Vanessa had found his phone. She opened it and paused.

The picture he used for his screen's wallpaper was that of a little, triangle-headed boy, who she recognized as Phineas. He was wearing Perry's blazer, his arms up in the air. Phineas' hands only made it to the places where Perry's elbows should've been. Vanessa had swallowed the lump in her throat and checked his recent calls list. Again, she paused at what she saw:

Phineas, Phineas, Ferb, Ferb, Phineas, Vanessa, Ferb, Phineas.

Oh. Maybe he wasn't cheating after all.

"Did you want to call Phineas and Ferb?"

Vanessa jumped and turned, only to see Perry staring at her confusedly.

4. Father -

Perry couldn't remember having a real, platypus father. He couldn't remember much from his early childhood. Although, he could remember Major Monogram teaching him how to walk. He remembered the major reading him stories at bedtime. And he remembered that he never slept in his bed, only at the end of the major's.

Perry didn't need a platypus father.

Perry had Major Monogram.

5. Music-

Perry tried so hard to like Vanessa's music, really he did. But the way the heavy metal burst into his ears when he put on her earphones was just so terrible, he couldn't help but wrench them away from him.

"Perry," Vanessa said. "You know, you can take those out right?"

"No, no," Perry said. "I can take it." And another song burst into his ears, and the agent jumped a feet in the air.

6. Love-

"Why is love so difficult, major?" Perry asked after his argument with Vanessa, and Monogram wrapped an arm around the upset agent.

Feeling pity for the teenager, Monogram proceeded to tell him stories about he and Mrs. Monogram and how difficult their relationship was, but now they were married.

Perry fell asleep after the last story was finished.

7. Razor-

"Geez, Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz exclaimed. "Don't you know anything about hygiene?"

Perry stared, then ran a hand over the teal stubble; which decorated his chin and jaw line. "I don't know how to shave…Major said he'd teach me."

Heinz huffed. "C'mon."

The next time anyone saw Perry, he had small cuts on his jaw line. "What happened, Perry?" Phineas asked.

"I allowed Heinz to teach me to shave…"

"Who's Heinz?"

"Don't worry…"

8. Dance-

When the Winter Dance came around, Vanessa couldn't help but worry about her popularity. How bad would she look, going to a dance on her own? She and Johnny had broken up ages ago, and it would look pathetic if she went crawling back to him. Putting on a brave, 'I-don't-care-what-you-think' façade, Vanessa, dressed in a long black and purple gown with long black gloves, went to the dance. It was supposed to be this silly masquerade thing. The teachers thought it'd be cool if everyone wore masks. Vanessa didn't agree, but came wearing a butterfly mask anyway.

Whilst sitting at a table on her own, glass of punch in front of her, someone walked over to her table. He wore a dashing black suit and, much to her surprise, a cape; long and flowing down to his ankles. He wore a large hat with a white feather and a black mask with a flat piece with a sharp end, dragging down his nose and finishing at the tip. She couldn't see their eyes, the mask was too dark, and their hair was covered by the hat. He'd asked her to dance in an Australian accent and she'd agreed, thinking it was better then sitting on her own. He had spun her into a waltz to the slow music and Vanessa tried to find out who this was. The voice was familiar, the dance moves were familiar, but she couldn't quite think who this was. Somewhere during the dancing, the couples around them had stopped to watch the odd-looking couple.

When the man dipped her, she finally saw his eyes; chocolate brown eyes. "…Perry?"

"Yes. Yes, it is." Perry replied, smiling. "I thought you'd figure it out, you clever girl."

"But…"

"But what?"

"What's with the Australian accent?"

"Well," Perry said. "I'm originally from Australia, that's what the Major said." Changing back to his usual American accent, Perry continued. "I just spend too much time around you Americans."

Vanessa smiled and they continued their dance.

9. Children-

Linda had a lot of experience with children. She had three of her own, she babysat for her friends, Phineas and Ferb's friends would come around often, so the house was usually full of kids. Which is why, she supposed, she immediately took a motherly instinct when Perry came around. He was older then Candace, taller too. But she saw the way he treated their home, cleaned up if he made a mess; apologizing repeatedly as though Linda was about to whip him for it. He kept Phineas and Ferb busy, playing with them and spending time with them. He never just took food, he always asked first. He even asked to take water from the tap, for goodness sake. He must have really well-mannered parents, Linda thought, if he was like this in other peoples' presence.

"Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher…?"

Linda turned, only to see Perry standing in the doorway. He held a white and blue striped bowl in both hand, his spoon poking out of the dish. He tipped it slightly, to show the little marks of oatmeal, but otherwise empty bowl. "May I have some more oatmeal, please…?" The innocence of the question made her heart swell, especially seeing how big his eyes had gotten.

Linda smiled and took the bowl from him. "Of course you can, Perry."

Perry smiled. "Thank you, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher."

Linda turned to fill up his bowl. Perry was just one big child, needing to be loved and cared for.

10. Unrequited-

Molly was forced to be the Flynn-Fletcher family's new pet. They didn't know this, of course. She was operating the Perry-the-Platypus robot, created by the O.W.C.A. The real Perry was now human; a tall, handsome young man with the new ability to talk and properly interact with humans. He had a easier time defeating Doofenshmirtz (not that he had any trouble before, it was just a little difficult fighting someone who was, like, three times your height) and got to spend time with his old owners, now considered his 'second family' (Monogram and the others at the O.W.C.A being his first and the Doofenshmirtzs being his third). But she and Perry rarely talked nowadays. Only when Phineas was getting Perry to pet 'Perry', Perry would whisper a hello to his mouse friend. Molly grew envious of people, especially Vanessa, who held Agent P's heart. She knew her love was unrequited, even when Perry was still a platypus.

Oh, well. At least she could be Perry's friend.

…

Author's note:

Random bits and bobs I thought of the other day about Human!Perry. I'll do more later, and of course you can request a word for Human!Perry.

I'm half tempted to write a complete one-shot about the Dance one…

To people who have requested one-shots, I promise I'll get to them. Pinky swear.