Chapter Date: December 2014 (16 BBY/19 GrS).

The fact her old datapad still worked amazed Ahsoka. She activated the diary application, and it greeted her with the following banner:

GalaxyLogger Version Cresh 15.

Logging In …

Welcome, Ahsoka Tano.

Ahsoka chuckled to read her former name. After checking to see what date it was on the Earth calendar, she decided to record one last entry—something to remind her of what she had been doing ever since her Knighting Ceremony. She typed:

Date: December 13, 2014

Wow. This thing still works after three-plus years. I need to change the greeting, though. I'm not Tano anymore.

Where do I even start? I suppose I could mention what happened when I fled the temple, but I'd rather not relive that any time soon. I'll just focus on what happened after I was promoted from a Jedi Padawan to a Jedi Knight.

After my Knighthood, I went on a few missions. Master Cara came with me on my first mission, just to provide moral support. My second mission (my first solo mission) didn't start off well. But, it ended as a success, which made it easier to be happy about the end result. The third mission was rough. It was my first time having to deal with prejudice on my own and I did my best. I was worried about the end result, but the Council assured me that I did everything I was supposed to do after they read my post-mission report.

I still dealt with feelings of isolation. This was in spite of being more accepted by the other Jedi in the Order. While I enjoyed providing advanced lightsaber instruction to senior initiates, I still felt as if I needed more to give me a sense of belonging.

I went to discuss the situation with the Grand Master and he seemed troubled by something as well. Recalling their so-called "Open Door" policy, I asked him what was wrong. I was totally shocked when he admitted that in spite of his accomplishments, including those as a Jedi, he felt his own life was incomplete. I could only think to myself how shocking it would be to hear Master Yoda admit something similar. He also commented that he had figured that he'd have a family of his own by now, and that the once-potential chance for that had proven to be elusive.

I don't know what it was that prompted me to say it, but it wasn't until after I told him that maybe we were meant to be together that I had realized what I said. I don't think my lekku stripes have ever been that dark of a navy blue shade before.

After the initial awkward mood, we discussed a future together, and all seemed well... until it was time for him to tell his parents. To say they disapproved of me would be an understatement. They disliked me for not being human, for being 20 years younger, and for my not having the same spiritual beliefs as their son. However, he was determined to move forward, even though they stopped speaking with him. It's safe to say we both felt we made the right choice after we spoke to the married Jedi in our Order and they offered their advice and didn't make an issue out of our differences.

We married a little over a year ago: October 12, 2013. He said that 10-12-13 was easy to remember as an anniversary date. Our wedding was smaller than expected, but at least we celebrated with those who truly supported us. Granted, he was 40 years old and I was 20 on our wedding day, but we've come to accept that we do care for each other.

One of the biggest questions for us after we married was whether we could have children. I had no idea if it was even possible. A few months later, though, we got our answer. I was rather shocked to learn I was three months pregnant this Spring. Knight Rachel tried to do some research for us. I kinda wished she hadn't when she said there was only a 50% chance I would successfully have the child. But at least my husband took care of me while I was pregnant. There were a couple of times, however, where I had to remind him I was pregnant and not totally helpless.

At this time, he also suggested that I work in their nursery. It's the Earth equivalent of youngling minders. Some, but not all, of the children are Force-sensitive. We raise them in a supportive environment while their parents labor elsewhere. This also gave me a sense of purpose while preparing for my own child.

I'm proud to say our child was born on September 15—a girl. We both were curious how she would look because she was ½ Togruta and ½ Human. She ended up looking a lot like me, maybe because she was a girl. My genetics were more dominant in her. She had orange skin, rectangles on her temples, the same lines down the middle of her forehead, and circles on her cheeks. The biggest difference was that instead of arches above her blue eyes, the lines went down on either side of her nose and arched underneath them. I think she may have a bit of her father's face; maybe it will be noticeable more when she's older. She also has thin wavy white lines across her back, chest, upper arms, and upper legs, some of which I don't even have. It was interesting to see her born without lekku. They started growing once she was born, although they look thinner since she's only ½ Togruta.

I was concerned how he'd accept a child who looked just like I do. Those concerns instantly disappeared after he held her for the first time and kissed her in between the blue dots on top of her head. Ever since then, I knew he accepted and loved her. He still kisses her forehead every night now, and she seems to have grown to like it. He named her Sarah; the name means "Princess" in another Earth language. He figured she would always be his little princess. Yes, I even smiled after writing this. Apparently, it's customary on Earth to have a second name, or a middle name as they call it. He chose his best friend's middle name since she uses that as her first name. He admitted he always wanted his first-born daughter to share a middle name with her.

He tried to contact his parents to let them know they were grandparents. Sadly, they still wanted no part of our family. I didn't need to be a Jedi to see how disappointed and frustrated this left him. He's still determined to be the best father he can be, though. So far, I think he's done a good job all things considered.

Sarah's three month check-up is coming up in a couple of days. So, we will have her midi-chlorian levels checked then. Whether she's Force-sensitive will determine how we educate her once she's older. While anything is possible with our hybrid daughter, I'd be surprised if she wasn't Force-sensitive. Even though I may never return to my home galaxy, my husband and I agreed to teach Sarah as much as we can about her Togruta heritage.

As odd as it is to admit, I actually enjoy being mother. Although I was designated as an inactive Jedi unavailable for assignments, I feel as if raising Sarah has given me a purpose again. The only thing that scares me is how the Jedi back home would react upon learning that not only am I married, I now have a child. I think Master Plo would be the one Jedi I'd worry about the most. Kel Dorians tend to see things in black and white and render a quick judgment. I'd be afraid that if he was alive, he would disapprove of Sarah and me. However, I'd like to believe that looking into her blue eyes would just maybe change his mind (about her anyways, if not me). His approval always meant a lot to me growing up. Even if Master Plo didn't survive the attack like I did, his approval still means a lot to me. He was probably the closest thing I had to a father figure.

I also worry about how Sarah will be treated when she's older and around more people, but at least I can draw on my own experiences over the past few years to help her deal with that.

Sarah just woke up, so it's time to feed and change her. I gave her my old tooka doll, but she doesn't seem to show any interest in it unless it's squeaked. She's already figured out when her father comes home in the late afternoons, so she's adjusted her sleeping patterns to be awake when he comes home. If I remember the expression correctly, it appears she just might be a "Daddy's Girl," even though the two of them look as different as night and day. He's definitely a proud father.

May the Force be with her... and our family.

– Ahsoka.

Closing Commentary: From start to finish, this was an intense and climatic story to write. It's also bittersweet because this also marks the end of the story. Now, however, I have a back story to tie into my private writing that starts just before Sarah's 12th birthday. Once Ahsoka is ready to share the story with Sarah, I now have something upon which to draw.

My version of the Knighting Ceremony was largely based on what was listed in Wookiepedia, albeit with modifications to reflect aspects from the Earth Jedi Order, such as the post-ceremony reception.

The title for chapter three comes from the book of Psalms—Chapter 137 to be precise. For anyone that has seen the movie or musical version of Godspell, this is where the song On the Willows comes from. That is from where I drew the chapter title.

Thanks to everyone who supported the story with their reviews and feedback. I hope you've enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.

END