A/N: Enjoy! I own nothing~

Nobody could have imagined a shittier day for a lover's quarrel. It was cold as death outside, the crew'd spent most of the early morning out maneuvering a marine ship through a maze of glaciers, and the pipes had frozen; no bathing unless you wanted in on Franky's personal hit list. And what a rude awakening to those that had no idea love had a place on this ship. Whatever subtleties the two screaming at each other on the lawn had enjoyed were pretty much melting away under the stares of their shocked and disturbed crew mates.

"What do you MEAN none?"

"Just what I said. I'm done, Luffy. I'm sick of how disgusting you are, and you don't have any consideration for everyone else who has to live with you."

Nami stalked up the stairs towards her room, Luffy following at her heels with wide, panicky eyes.

"You can't do this to me! Nami, this isn't funny! You can't be serious…"

"I'm DEAD serious," she seethed, whirling around and boring into his face with flaming eyes. "Until you clean up your act, no more. This conversation is over."

"NONE?" He was, as far as anyone could see, at a loss. He hadn't blinked in a while, and he kind of looked like he might pass out soon. Nami didn't seem to care.

"Too much isn't good anyway," she muttered, hands on hips. "We live on a ship with other people. Think about that."

"What's that got to do with anything," he deadpanned, prepared to argue to the death. She widened her eyes and gave him a disapproving glare.

"You're so selfish. You don't even think about anybody but yourself…"

"What about you? You don't like it? You can't have it if I can't. That's not even fair..."

"This is not about what I like and don't like. I'm cutting you off. Because it's all you think about. And honestly, it's not healthy."

He sneered and rolled his eyes. "Shows what you know. Don't act like you don't like it…"

"I don't need it like you," she snapped. There was a pause where she seemed to consider what she was saying and her eyebrows relaxed. "I've actually thought about giving it up completely a couple times." She glared at his flabbergasted face. "Oh, like that'll make a big difference in my life anyway. You're the one that's so bent out of shape if you go too long without it." With a snide wave of the hand, she added, "You get nothing. None. Maybe this way you'll learn to appreciate what you do get."

Luffy stood where he was, face completely blank. Those watching for a reaction noted the mixed emotions passing over his face like a slot machine. He finally bit his lip and decided on something tearful and blubbery.

"You're a jerk," he sobbed, rubbing at snot coming out of his nose with a jacket sleeve. "I already told you I'd stop-"

"But you aren't showing me you've changed," she said sternly, crossing her arms. "You still expect to get everything you want, and I have to clean up after you. Who the hell do you think does the laundry around here. I won't keep replacing your sheets-"

"WHAT THE HELL KIND OF CONVERSATION MMPH MMPHATJHREKBJF," Sanji screamed, finally done with quietly listening with everyone else and attempting to bound up the stairs. Robin dragged him back to their group without flinching, everyone else rushing to pretend they'd been doing something important on the deck.

"You're disrupting everyone with your theatrics," Nami said angrily. "And they have no idea what's going on. Please try to be a little more mindful of how your actions affect others and maybe I'll reconsider."

He stared at her, still crying like a baby. "You hate me. Otherwise you wouldn't be doing this to me…"

"I do not hate you," she sighed. "I just think…for both of our sakes, this is for the best."

"You think I'm good for nothing," he sniffed.

She patted his head. "Yes."

"So blunt," all the male voices not being suppressed muttered collectively, a couple of them peeking up over the railing so they could see. Nami rolled her eyes and walked away from her companion.

"If you behave for the rest of the day, we can talk later."

And that was the end of that.

...Not really.