A/N: I always adored the relationship Sam had with Freddie, pre-romance & pure love-hate friendship. It was just so ... FUN! They were so fun, the way they bickered and had occasional moments of approval and even acceptance of each other. And then iOMG happened and they dropped that bomb and I think I near exploded with joy. Even if it was only official for a few episodes, I noticed long before iOMG and I'm still noticing following iLove You... :'( But nevertheless, the romance is there and I ship it like a little crazy bitch. I also love the happiness reading fanfictions about my ships brings me and the hilarity as I attempt my own, which brings me to here. This is my Seddie fan fic. I've only ever published one fan fic and it was a oneshot for Inception, and this Seddie fan fic was going to be a oneshot but there was just too much to go into one chapter. So now it will possibly be a story with chapters! Woo! Hehe. Ok, so this is set immediately after the break up in iLove You. Please be accepting, this is only my second attempt at a fanfic and while it's daunting, I'm also really passionate about because I see it as really really good practice for my writing. Which is fantastic. Because I love writing. So I appreciate the feedback, and in the words of Goopy Gilbert, 'SEDDDDDDDDDDIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!'
now let's bring this momma to life.
Oh and one last thing. If you do leave feedback, could you express whether or not you prefer the story to be set out like the A/N or how it is now. Meaning normally typed or spaced out. Because I got a tip in a review of my last fan fic, suggesting I should space out the lines, so it's easier to read. I'm not sure if I still like it. Anyway, please please please let me know your opinion! Much appreciated amigos :)
Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own iCarly or any of their glorious characters or any of the even more glorious SEDDIE :'( I know, it's heartbreaking, I try not to think about it too much. Also I don't own the song 'Happily Ever After' by He Is We which I am drawing inspiration from. Which is also heartbreaking. Because I love them.
Rated T: As a precaution because sometimes I swear and I honestly don't think I can replace every swear word with 'chiz' or I'll go mad. Sorry kiddies.
Let me riddle you a ditty, it's just an itty bitty, little thing on my mind. About a boy and a girl, trying to take on the world one kiss at a time.
Freddie's POV
My pearphone began to ring, pulling us out of the dream state we were existing in. The kisses became more urgent, laced with longing, saddness and regret. The pearphone kept
singing, getting louder every second I failed to press the 'dismiss' button. We both knew what it meant. Sam pulled together the willpower that I couldn't and she pulled away, sitting
back on the beanbag we were sharing. Her eyes scavenged over my face, before she pulled me into a tight hug.
"It's midnight, Freddork," She whispered. I shivered as I felt the warmth of her breath on my neck.
"I know," I replied, burying my face in her golden curls.
The pearphone rung louder this time as Sam untangled herself from my arms shouting at the phone, "Yeah, yeah, WE GET IT, IT'S MIDNIGHT!"
I smirked, although it was short lived as I reached for it and turned off the alarm I had set in the lift back up to the studio. It really was midnight. It really was the end of ... us.
"I will try, you understand?" Sam said softly, holding her hand to my cheek.
"What, to be more normal?" I asked, looking into those amazing blue eyes that had captivated me the first time we met.
"What else, nub?"
"You don't have to do that." I replied, leaning into her hand.
"Yeah, I kinda do."
"Why?" I asked her.
"Because I love you, is that really not clear?" She smiled, a mix of amusement, sadness and fatigue.
"It's just, I don't think that you should change who you are, especially not because of me."
"I put myself in a mental institution because of you. I filled a man's car with bee's for you. There aren't many things I wouldn't do for you, Fredweird."
"But I fell in love with this you." I said, taking her beautiful face in my own hands.
"Then why are we broken? Because I'm not normal enough, I'm too messed up in the head." She asked me definitively.
"Sam, don't say tha-" I started.
"It's true." She interrupted, "I know who I am, I know what I am, and I know that because of that I'm about to walk out this door and you're not going to stop me."
She reached up and brought my hands that still held her face back to my side, interlacing our fingers and giving my hands a gentle squeeze.
"Sam..."
"Look, I'm saying all this because you are YOU, kind and funny and sweet and I'm ME. That girl who beats people up and makes them cry and leaves them bruised and destroys their
toy model trains, which might I add they are kind of embarrasingly attached to. Just saying."
"It's not an embarrasing attachment, it is an honourable hob-" I muttered, hurriedly.
"Nobody cares, baby." She laughed quietly, shaking her head. She had such a enchanting laugh.
"Right.." I said, accepting defeat.
"Freddie, I just want to be the girl you deserve."
"You are!"
"Then why isn't it enough?" She asked, her eyes shining with confusion and her voice beginning to crack as she spoke.
"Well, have you ever thought that maybe it's me that's the problem?" I said.
"You could never be the problem." Sam replied without hesitation.
"All I want is for YOU to be happy. Why can't it be me that changes?"
"Because I'm not worth it."
"Sam, you are worth EVERYTHING to me." I said, leaning forward and resting my forehead on hers. We stayed like this for a minute, and to be honest, I would have stayed like that
for the rest of my life. But Sam retreated, untangling her fingers from mine and raising her head to place a soft kiss on my forehead. I could feel my throat burning, and my vision
began to blur, my self-control struggling to hold back the emotions that were waiting to erupt. Sam slowly turned around and began walking towards the door. Every step seemed
like a struggle, almost painful. And with each of her steps came a hole in my heart, growing bigger the further she went. When she reached the door of the studio, she stopped
abruptly and stood there, as if all the life had been drained from her and all that was left was a statue. Lingering.
"I really do, you know that right?" Sam said, her back still to me and her head hung.
"You really do what?" I asked.
"Love you," She replied, looking back at me one, eyes glistening.
"Yeah, I know," I said quietly, "I love you too."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
"Would you wait for me?"
"I'll always wait for you."
Once again she turned her back on me, her breaths short, sharp and jarringly uneven. Almost as if she were crying.
"Good. I'll see you around Benson." And with one unsure nod, she lifted her head up high and walked away.
She was gone. And the reality came crashing down around me.