Yes, I know. It's a miracle I'm still alive. No need to buy me a coffin now.

Alright, get prepared for a really long author's note! (Not like most of you would read this.) Anyway, this story serves as an experiment to me. I'm currently testing on different aspects of writing and I myself don't expect this would be pretty. Frankly, the story doesn't really have a solid direction to where it's directing to. Maybe it does, since I'm thinking of something now (Muahaha), but still.

And no, this would be a solo work. (Dun, dun, dun!) No one would be working together with me on this one, but hey, I could be lying, eh...

But still, this story doesn't meet up to my expectation. I just hope it does for you.

But read on if you're interested in this really weird ride! Or you're too bored. Or perhaps… you're looking forward to my cookies? Or better yet, one virtual pancake, yummy! Review and get one now! Well, not now but after you finish reading it.

The quotes are from the song 'Jar of Hearts'.

And who do you think you are?

Running 'round leaving scars,

Collecting your jar of hearts,

And tearing love apart

Life couldn't have been more perfect for her, except for the times she's stuck in classes or lectures.

Brittany smiled secretly, not even paying a slight attention to what the teacher was saying in front. C'mon, the tutor was basically like a cybernetic-engineered robot that recites anything written in the text. Though it's true to some point –metaphorically- the teacher wouldn't even realize if someone had a picture of a hunk-like James Bond slid in her book. She's just that into her work.

She swore if one day she had a chance to pour some liquid on her android-teacher, the educator would just overdrive and self-destruct. Hurray for no more mathematics!

Well, a girl could dream, couldn't she?

Despite the fact that school had planted a ticking bomb inside her –Brittany knew she would one day die just by staying here any longer than a few years, I mean, any student (with sanity) on the first day of their school would realize that school sucked- She was stuck here. What a nightmare.

Though, Brittany mostly had her life living like a queen. Heck, a goddess if you like to put it boldly.

Brittany was the top of the best. Categorized as the lady in charge of the high school's semi-existing hierarchy, she called people around and ordered things to be done. In fact, if she had just pointed at a dog's leftover, millions of boys would lick it to trade in for a kiss from the prettiest girl in the school; or world, as how she'd put it. No matter what she says, boys will always say she's correct. At least for the ones that swooned over her, but who wouldn't?

If you're asking: How did Brittany get all these privileges?

Because I'm hot, that's why. She flipped her hair gracefully, making some boys in the class to drool –if they hadn't already. As much as she's flattered by their perverted minds, the school would probably be tackled by a tsunami of saliva if those boys don't stop slobbering soon. Not that she's complaining, of course.

If the cake wasn't sweet enough, Brittany being a cheerleader just laid another cherry on it. It's not in the rules nor instructions in a how-to-be-popular-guide , but a cheerleader just sort-of meant she's always on diet, had hourglass figure and a heart-shaped face, the gorgeous kind. If beauty could kill, she would be attending a carnage-party any day.

She had many friends, cheerleaders as well, but boys would always choose Brittany to their preference rather than them. The boys wanted her and the girls wanted to be her. Sometimes, she felt other girls were dying to get their hands around her neck and strangle her until she becomes a suffocated astronaut in dead space. However, they wouldn't even dare to touch a single hair of hers.

Brittany's wrath was fiercer than an Eleanor being called fat.

Yet, for the sake of her damned education, that was the only reason holding her back from murdering her dull math teacher. Brittany would just rot and discomposed eternally into minerals as she sat lazily, having many things going across her mind plane.

With a grin, she imagined pushing her teacher down the rooftop. Sweet…

"Then, substitute x into the value you've found from the equation by using y to convert it into radian rather than degree before starting your arithmetic calculation."

Forget about the roof. It just turned into Grand Canyon.

"You bored?"

Aware of the friendly voice, she turned head slowly to her right side. "Got anything better to do?"

Alvin smirked deviously. "It's your call, Britt."

She shrugged casually. "Enlighten me."

He chuckled softly. "A clown served with entertainments, coming up."

Sure, it wasn't a one-man show for the cheerleader; or woman, in this case. Alvin Seville was the famous, handsome boy that girls would throw themselves at him like lustful zombies. The horror game 'Left 4 Dead' could probably be inspired by a scenario of girls chasing him. He was the captain of the basketball team. Likewise, he was almost identical to her counterpart: a little cocky and conceited –Brittany didn't think she was exactly the same, but you get the point.

Brittany sneaked another peek at him.

God, look at those muscles! She wasn't exaggerating, but even some normal guy would turn gay for Alvin. Messy hair with muscles behind his thin fabric was a not-too-shabby, but good combination. Even though they would bicker sometimes –it lessened for some unknown reason- he still could be a romantic guy. Flirt was his middle name.

But guess what? She wasn't all over heels for him.

Why?

The answer to your curiosity: He's already mine. Brittany snickered.

They were the 'it' couple. They're practically a real-life version of Lord Voldemort. They're dominating and their names didn't have to be spelled out but everyone knew who they were. Everyone expected them to be together since their freshman year and they did –to no one's surprise. Eventually, their rivalry had turned into today. Not as dramatic as she thought, but she needed him to gain more popularity than she already had.

Mutualism, ever heard of it? 'Using him' was a bad phase. Plus, she bet he enjoyed the attention too. Though, she liked him, by far at least a little.

And that was another reason why girls wanted to kill Brittany. She owned Alvin. Off-limit and restricted like area 51; no girls were allowed to near him without her permission.

"You're gonna make me laugh or what?" Brittany asked, irritated by the boringness.

Alvin merely smiled back. He crumpled up a paper and raised it up above his head. Closing one eye to aim properly, he used his basketball skill and threw it directly at the fan. It swung and hit a random person. Imagine hitting a homerun.

"Ouch!"

The teacher spun around. Brittany thought she wouldn't have heard that. She should be a dead corpse by now. Who could stand listening -wait, teaching mathematics?

"Is everything okay?" The educator questioned.

A boy –Brittany didn't know who he was; must be another nerd- rubbed his head where the ball of paper bounced off. "Something hit me on my head."

Is he serious? He's complaining? What is this, an elementary school? Brittany hated childish people. They're freakin' teenagers for Pete's sake!

"Do not distract me while I'm teaching, mister." The teacher continued to have her own passionate moment with the lonely white board. Brittany honestly felt pity for the teacher. All she had for a soul mate were a board and a textbook.

She groaned. Ugh, psycho. Brittany wondered why her teacher wasn't in the rehab centre; she's obsessed with math. Who knows what the teacher had done with math to have a great love for it. Maybe they had a child.

"Wasn't impressive in anyway possible, Al." Brittany teased.

He snickered quietly. "You know I'm more than that."

"Improvise, then."

Alvin crumpled up yet another paper. He pulled out a bottle of glue and slowly applied it all over the ball like a make-up artist preparing up a celebrity. When he was done, he repeated what happened a few minutes ago. Only that the fan chose a female victim this time.

"Ahhhhhhhh!" A girly scream echoed in the classroom.

The teacher glared at the girl. "I told you not to disturb my class. Miss, to the office!"

"But this thing is sticky and yucky! I can't get it off my hair!" Alvin and Brittany –and other students- had to do everything necessary to stop laughing.

"No excuses, to the office now!" She scolded firmly.

With her head hung low, the girl walked out. Brittany couldn't imagine someone doing that to herself (Her hair was her life). Her claws would be by his throat the next second he knew. But he's Alvin. If you don't know the simple equation, let Brittany teach you this: Alvin was equal to an iPhone. Everyone loved him.

"Nicely done," Brittany giggled.

"Anything for you, baby." Alvin threw a kiss to her direction.

The bell rang quickly afterwards. "Alright, finish the questions from page fifty one to sixty. Remember to write your workings down!" The teacher called out, trying to convince herself that people were listening while sprinting out.

Screw this. Brittany rolled her eyes. Homework was the last thing she had in her menu. Cheerleader and all, she still needed credit. She must be flawless in everyway: fashion, looks and even in education: in short, completed. What's a Lady Gaga when she doesn't wear bizarre costumes?

She had to get her work done, pronto.

Brittany took a deep breath and prepared herself for an act. If she fails, she'll be stuck with piles of books, forever. And if she succeeds, things would just go smoothly. But it's not like she had failed before. Not even once. It's a daily routine similar to buying grocery every single week. Whenever she needed anything associated with nerdy issues to be done, she just purses her lips, unbuttons her top while revealing her lustrous cleavage and turns to her left side and…

"Simon?"

The bespectacled chipmunk almost dropped his books from jumping in surprise. Anxiously, he pushed his spectacles up to the bridge of his nose and avoided Brittany's fluttering eyelashes. Though, it seemed abortive to do so.

He gulped. He could feel his eyes followed down her curves. "Y-yes, Brittany?"

Like she said, Brittany ruled everyone. That included her boyfriend's brother. Hey, if Jeanette wasn't intending to blow his mind away, Brittany was very sure a little flirting wouldn't hurt. Besides, she's almost hundred percent confirmed that he had something for her. Just look at where his eyes are staring at.

Simon must be feeling very special too, like a beggar that was shown some kindness by Chuck Norris. Brittany put him, maybe, just above the lowest level in the pyramid of weirdoes. A nerd who's in love with science and quite good-looking if he would just put his glasses away, she considered okay to play with. She loved to boil others' chemistry.

"I was wondering…" Brittany kept her voice low, hoping Alvin wouldn't hear anything.

Simon blinked when she bent her body down a little, giving him the best angle to do what men do best. "Oh, uh…"

She moved closer to him, which didn't make him more comfy. But Simon did prefer that way. "Can you teach me on math?" Brittany requested softly.

"Yes, I, uh, would like to." Simon stuttered slightly. Keep your cool, Si.

"So…" She laid two seducing fingers on his chest. "…Saturday?"

"Absolutely," Simon was actually busier than she thought. Anything for the queen though, right?

No one ever beats Brittany in a mind game (exception for chess); especially not a guy.

"That settles then!" She squealed in fake ecstatic tone before turning away. Worked like a charm.

Almost every assignment Brittany had was finished up by Simon. Talk as much as he could, he always ended up being seduced and did her homework rather than teaching her. That didn't bother him. The more time she's spending with him, the happier he was. She's a PlayStation 3 every boy loved; only better.

But the boys didn't know they're the ones being played.

When Brittany sashayed out of the classroom, she made sure to keep herself hidden like a ninja beside the entrance and stuck her ear closely to the wall. She grinned satisfyingly. It's show time.

"What did she say to you?"

There was a brief rustling sound. "None of your business, Alvin," Was that despise she sensed in Simon's voice?

"My girlfriend is my business. Tell me." Alvin's tone went stiffer.

Simon cleared his throat. "I think I have a right to keep secrets."

Something made a loud collision in the room and Brittany would guess either Alvin had grabbed Simon's collar or had him by his throat.

"Listen up, ass, you're acting weird and I've got my eyes on you." Alvin scoffed warningly. The police should really hire him as a bad cop. Brittany bet he had a big chance.

"Look at me all you want. You've got a problem?" Simon asked sarcastically. She'd admit. He had good guts to do that.

Brittany pushed herself away from the wall and slowly made her way to the cafeteria. Witnessing two boys –as a matter of fact, brothers- fighting over her like baby ogres in a pathetic altercation for a candy?

An awesome scene, I'd say. She shook her head.

Brittany pushed away a bang of her lovely, auburn hair to reveal azure eyes filled of confidence. Not to mention, a pleased smile plastered on her face with a just a tint of sinister. Talk about a superstar walking out victorious with Grammy Awards in her hands on a red carpet.

I'm winning like Charlie Sheen. Brittany strolled down the hallway proudly.

"I've said it once and I'll say it twice. You've got a problem?"

"Screw you!" Alvin yelled angrily.

Simon narrowly avoided Alvin's fist and stood aside, keeping his calmness shown on his visage. This wasn't something unique. He grew up with his red-clad brother –more like a mortal foe- since small. Putting up with his crazy brain –which was smaller than Frankenstein's- was normal, but difficult. However, getting slammed by one of his muscle wasn't amusing, at all. That's a sledgehammer on an ant.

Simon rolled his eyes. "Al, chill. She's only talked to me. What's the big deal?"

"Your eyes, that's what!" Alvin scoffed with anger.

"I know they're very amazing. Pretty blue, aren't they?" Simon laughed quietly.

Alvin gritted his teeth. "You were ogling her!"

"Everybody does, Al."

"But you're my own freakin' bro!" Alvin exclaimed in disbelief.

Simon shrugged. "If she loves to show herself to me, that isn't my fault."

Alvin clenched his knuckles again. "Shut the f-"

"Stop, just stop it!"

The two shifted their gaze to their youngest brother, Theodore. He knew his timid, tiny voice wouldn't do anything but he couldn't bear to watch his brothers like crazed chipmunks fighting over a stupid mate. What happened to his family? Where's the brotherly love?

"Don't fight anymore…" He pleaded desperately. Simon, Alvin…

"Do not interfere with our matter, Theodore." Simon advised coldly.

Alvin pulled his threatening fists away from Simon. "Go somewhere else. We have things to do."

"Why can't you two just be good and nice?" Theodore sadly asked.

Simon crossed his arms. "I am being very gentleman. On the other hand, Alvin…"

"Theodore, go away." If his little brother wasn't here, Alvin would have punched Simon square in his glasses. The little brother had no way to cope with that horrible scene.

Theodore took a step away, slightly intimidated. "But she's just a girl, guys…"

"I said go." Alvin emphasized his words. He didn't expect Theodore to understand their conflict: Just a girl? That's an understatement. Brittany was his life; everything.

The green-clad chipmunk could felt his tears trying to fall off his eyes but he resisted to cry. For the past months, tears did nothing. The situation had only worsened. Simon and Alvin were always on bad speaking terms. Sometimes, bandages were needed to cover up their deeds but they knew better than to send each other to hospital.

As an example:

"Simon, are you okay? You have bruises everywhere!" Dave was worried dead.

The blue-clad chipmunk waved him off. "I fell when I was climbing the ladders to reach the books in library. Wish I was a cat."

True was, Alvin sort-of beat him up. But their acting skills were supreme. Dave didn't even notice a thing (Well, he did, but not realized). Even if Theodore had told Dave, he wouldn't believe.

Theodore left the class dejectedly, hoping his brothers would come out alive. He had to put an end to this madness. His family was falling apart. No one would believe the truth he saw. Brittany was manipulating everyone like puppets and all he could do was stand and watch like a lonely CCTV in a corner. No matter what, he had to make changes, one way or another. He just hoped it wouldn't become a boomerang and backfire.

Maybe I can talk to Brittany and- "Ouch!"

While thinking, Theodore crashed into someone and he dropped onto the floor. He rubbed his forehead repeatedly. "Ugh…"

"Teddy, are you okay?" His best friend –also the person that banged into him- gently reached out her paw to help him up.

"Oh, it's you, Eleanor." He smiled weakly at her.

Of course, he wouldn't left out his best friend in his own thoughts. Without her, how could he have survived in this bottomless pit? Theodore didn't tell her the problems his family was facing but spending time with her meant happy moments. Who doesn't need a pain reliever when you're suffering? In this case, Eleanor's a Mother Teresa that stumbled across his poor life.

Theodore frantically picked up Eleanor's books from the floor. "I'm sorry, Ellie, I didn't see you coming my way."

She giggled softly when she retrieved the books from him. "It's okay."

Since Eleanor was Brittany's sister, she wasn't classified as the lowliest in school but not much higher either. She wasn't a cheerleader, but a pro in soccer. Darn, I think a kick from her gets me from America to Paris!

However, she didn't seem to mind about talking to him –Theodore supposed he was around Simon's level in the pecking order, or even lower- They're childhood friends and still were. Eleanor's kind, sweet and kinda mature; along with everything else Theodore couldn't compare with: a swan and a green frog. It seemed to be a shame to hang out with such a cool girl like her. I'm just an ordinary boy, but she's so nice… and pretty.

"You wanna go get some food together?" Eleanor offered tenderly.

He shook his head, obtaining a concerned frown from her. "I'd like to but I need to go." It killed him to reject her like some dude with kwashiorkor or bleeding legs just declined a nurse's aid.

"I'll come with you." She suggested cheerfully.

What? Then letting you to see me confronting your sister? "Um, Ellie, you can't really come…" He trailed off quietly.

"Why?" She asked curiously with her head tilted aside. When she does that, she looks so…

Theodore snapped away from his thoughts. "It's some private… uh, boy stuff." Seriously, that's what I came up for my best friend?

Eleanor nodded slowly. "Okay then."

Theodore bit his lips. The following uncomfortable silence made him want to throw himself into the janitor closet nearby. It's like a president being interviewed for the latest election and had nothing to say in front of the television. The walls seemed to have grown eyes and were staring intently at him, expecting him to say something; anything.

"I'll see you later then." Eleanor waved her hand with a grin.

"Oh… I guess… so…" Theodore only managed to make a sound when she's miles away.

He mentally beat himself up. Being a teenager made talking with a female to be a strange event. Theodore didn't understand why. The awkwardness was too overwhelming. Just try visualizing asking the lunch lady on how to dye your hair red with spaghetti sauce.

"Oh, Daniel, you're so funny!" Brittany fluttered her eyelashes.

The tall boy blushed a little while the others around the table laughed on cue (They followed Brittany). Like any other normal day, she always sat together with the popular species –cheerleaders, hunks and occasionally, jocks- in the cafeteria. She didn't have to be there, duh, she's on diet. But it's always important to make people happy and have her reputation up and running like a Ferrari engine.

And that's the easy part. Brittany didn't even have to try to do that. When she laughed, people followed suit. Even a lame joke goes with that, similar to how gravity pulls things down in the physics law. It made total sense. She had everything flowed like a straight river, and nothing would ever go against her authority. All hail the dictator!

"Make another joke, Dan…" Brittany cut her sentence short as she saw a green blob walking towards her way.

It was Theodore. I hope he doesn't come. Brittany rolled her eyes annoyingly. She knew outside the school –particularly at the Seville's- she would just maybe see him a few times, he's a childhood friend who wasn't close at all (All she said was 'Hi.' and 'Bye.'). But if he comes and talks to me, he'll ruin my status!

Yes, Theodore was at the lowest grade of popularity. What was he, a cool person? Nu-uh, he's only a kid that knows to eat and cook!

What about his personalities? Dude, he's shy and naïve, what kind of macho guy he is?

How about his looks? He's freakin' fat!

In her opinion, he was nobody. The last thing she wanted was to be linked with a chubby guy. She really didn't know why her little sister would like to hang out with that… thing. A sister of Sleeping Beauty shouldn't be together with the Hunchback. He was a waste of space. If he wasn't Alvin's brother, she wouldn't have spoken to him at all. Speaking of boyfriend, Brittany knew she played with every sort of boy she could find for diverged benefits. Definitely everyone was a choice but him. Fat was a no, no for her.

Brittany looked away. Don't come nearer, don't…

She heard the footsteps had gotten louder before it came to a halt completely. Brittany cursed under her breath. Damn, what does he want with me?

"Brittany?" The soft voice spoke with uncertainty.

She turned around with a grin. The faster I get it done, the faster he goes. "What?" Brittany knew if she was rude to Theodore, Alvin would have second thoughts about it. But she couldn't help it.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" He asked timidly.

This is so embarrassing! Everyone at the table was gazing at them. Brittany gave herself a face-palm. "Didn't give me a choice there, did you?"

Theodore seemed a little taken aback. "Oh, I…"

I swear he's transsexual! How can a boy be that shy? "Just ask whatever you want." Her patience was wearing thin.

"I mean, we have to talk, in private."

Brittany swore, behind her, people were starting gossiping already. The famous mermaid is talking to seaweed in private? What kind of secret did they have?

Shit. Brittany knew her reputation was bound to be downgraded when her radar showed Theodore was around.

"Say it out loud, I'm sticking here." She hoped people wouldn't mistake them as… Brittany shuddered at the idea.

Theodore fiddled his thumbs. "Why are you doing this?" He said after a long pause.

Brittany raised an eyebrow. Not only was he fat. He's weird too. "Do what?"

He gritted his teeth. "You know, Alvin…"

She laughed a little. That's all? "I'm dating him. What's wrong with that?"

Theodore shook his head. "No, you're doing… doing… things with Simon too." He had no proper word to put it.

A random guy whistled behind her back. Now people thought she's a slut. "What the hell? All I did was asked him to tutor me." Brittany exclaimed, bewildered.

"But you… uh…" He gulped. "You were flirting with him." It felt awkward to say that.

"Oh…" Brittany's going to execute those who cooed if that was the last thing she does.

"It's only a friendly talk. I do that all the time." She actually spoke the truth, the latter only.

Theodore held his head as if having a terrible migraine. "Brittany, please. Stop messing with my brothers' feelings."

He has the guts to tell me what to do? "I am truly in love with Alvin, Theodore." She made a lovey-dovey tone.

"What about Simon?" He asked anxiously.

"He's just a really good friend of mine." Brittany could felt her knuckles tightened. "Theodore, stop asking me these-"

"Then you shouldn't always make them fight, or-"

Brittany couldn't take it anymore. She snapped her finger. "Daniel, do your job."

While the tall boy stood up, Theodore's eyes widened in fright. The green-clad chipmunk tried to move his body but he was frozen as ice on the spot. Quickly, Theodore felt a quick impact to his stomach as Daniel shoved him. Butt landing on the hard floor, the evil laughs –especially Brittany's- echoed in his ear. It wouldn't stop. He felt agony, rage but mostly humiliated.

All he tried to do was to bring some peace to his family. And the only person who had the right to change all that just tackled him with her slave. Justice was not served. He had been bullied many times. He knew he was gullible, too nice and fat. But this time, it's different.

He wasn't standing for himself. It's in the honor, for the better of his brothers. Theodore had no muscle, violence wouldn't solve it. Neither had he had great wisdom like Dumbledore to win this battle. But no one, no one, ever messes with the Seville brothers. His love for his family was far greater than the hatred he had for the girl in front. She was heartless to crack people's mind. If she was a witch –perhaps with a capital B- he would be the prince to slay her.

No matter what happens… Theodore stood slowly with determination. Brittany… I…

"Theodore, what is it?"

He turned around to see his eldest brother was beside him. Great, just freakin' great; after he stood up, only Alvin had came. Brittany was innocent in his golden eyes. That manipulative monster… Theodore glared daggers at her smile.

Aside from all that and more importantly, how did Alvin reach here? Maybe the fight between him and Simon had ended. Who won? However, judging by the injuries –hold on, not a scratch was on Alvin.

Figures, Theodore thought. "Uh, nothing, I'm just passing by."

Brittany smirked as Theodore walked away with his head hung low. She knew all along that he wouldn't dare to tell Alvin the reality. It was harder than to tell your mother that you're having teenage pregnancy. Pfft, another wimp.

"You're just lucky this time, Brittany." Theodore muttered silently.

He didn't know what he's going to do. Perhaps he'd get Alvin to break up with her. Or maybe find another bespectacled lady to distract Simon. Theodore had no plan prepared but if desperate measures were needed -such as sitting on Brittany with his weight- so be it. No girl would ever get on top of the Seville brothers and-

Theodore stopped dead in his track. A thought occurred to him.

Brittany was already on top of them.

Bang! And the chapter ends right here! This was actually heavily inspired by someone but too bad though, he/she wasn't active for a really long time. I hope you'll come back soon!

I know, I know! I'm being such a jerk to Theodore! Brittany, Simon and Alvin are all giving him a bad treatment, but it is to show how poor he is in this situation. And slightly OOC, it's also for the sake of the plot development.

And you gotta love some Theo/Ellie fluff, don't you? I do! Although it's just a little hint here and there… it's still there. I don't make people –or chipmunks- lovey-dovey too fast. Slow and steady, you know?

Will Teddy be the prince to slay Brittany? Or will he be the prince charming for Ellie?

Even I don't know about that, lol.

Please review and choose one of these: Pancakes, cookies, Snickers or even M&M!