DISCLAIMER: No, I do not own Bleach or any of the characters. All rights belong solely to Kubo Tite.

A / N:

HELLO!

I hope everyone's been well the past... year. It's been a long time since I've updated, yeah? Maybe not as long as the previous time, but honestly, I can't really remember. My days have been blurring together, and not in a good way. HAHA.

But throughout the months, I tried to make time to write whenever I could. It wasn't often and it wasn't much, but I've managed to complete the ninth chapter o S. FINALLY. After so long and making everyone wait, I've finally updated. I just wanted to say, once again, thank you for all the support you guys constantly give me. I cannot tell you how much I truly appreciate every single one of you. It's almost insane the way you guys are so understanding and so wonderful about my horrible updating habits, and I can't say thank you enough. I just wanted to let y'all know that I drew inspiration from your kind words and your actions, and I'm beyond grateful.

I'm nearly done my classes for this semester, and then I'll be entering into finals season. Even so, I should have more time to write these upcoming months compared to the previous years, and I'm so, so excited for that. I haven't written anything for fun in months, and so if this chapter seems rocky and rusty, I'm so sorry. There's a weird combination of how I used to write and how I write now, and even as I edited, it was sort of hard to make it work? So just a fair warning in advance (;

It's kind of funny, because the moment I finished one of my very last assignments of this term, I went back to watch some Bleach episodes. I'm actually not caught up with the manga yet because I just haven't had the time, but once I'm done my exams, I'll definitely be getting back on board. But anyway, the funny part is that watching those episodes kind of rekindled the love I used to have for Bleach. It makes me want to write it again, and I think that's what pushed me into staying up 'til 3 AM to edit and write this, even though I need to wake up for class in like four hours. HAHAHA. But, I don't know. I watched some scenes and I don't know why or how, but I started to get ideas for an IchigoxOC and a ByakuyaxOC story, and I wanted to slam my head into a wall because clearly I can't write those yet. LOL. I've been requested to write for a variety of different pairings and whatnot, and I've promised myself that I won't start anything new until I finish the works I'm currently working on. So until I complete something, I guess those ideas are on the backburner. Hopefully I'll get around to those. HNNG.

OK, BUT ANYWAY, SORRY. I think I'm just halfway loopy right now due to the amount of insanity I've put myself through the past couple of months. I just hope that all of you guys have been well, and that y'all have been taking good care of yourselves!

For everyone that's waited so faithfully, there is the ninth chapter of FEATHERS! (:

FEATHERS

CHAPTER NINE;

"The Days Past"

We walked back towards the school in silence, our feet knowing the roads and the pathways like they were reacquainting with old friends. There was no hesitance in direction, no need to look up where we were or where we were going. Just one glance around this place had been enough for me to pinpoint exactly where we were in town, and Toushirou seemed to have no problem figuring out our location either.

He walked with his hands in his pockets casually, not a speck of dust on him. Nothing out of place, nothing to give away the fight he'd just been in. After telling me that he saw Jay and Rangiku arriving to help John out of his sticky situation, he hadn't said another word as he'd helped me with my injuries. I was grateful for his consideration of my worries, and for his silence.

I didn't know what to say, but maybe because that was because I had nothing to say.

Staring down at the pavement as I walked, catching sight of my bandaged wrists as my hands swung at my sides, I almost felt a sense of shame. I wasn't the most emotionless bastard around, but I also wasn't the type to cry in front of someone I barely knew. My pride never allowed it, but in front of him—in front of a random Shinigami that I've only known for a couple of days—my defenses had crumbled.

A part of me wanted to hate him for it. I wanted to hate everything about Toushirou, everything about me that connected to him. The fact that he provided some kind of reassurance that resonated into the depths of my bones. The fact that his presence, for whatever reason, was so familiar to me that without my consent, I automatically dropped my walls. The fact that something about him called out to me, and my heart responded before my mind.

I didn't get it.

And I loathed how I didn't understand this part of myself.

For the third time since we've began heading back to school, I felt Toushirou's eyes shift to watch me as I flexed my wrist.

I sighed, meeting his eyes with a small frown. "Look, if you have something to say, spit it out already."

His eyes narrowed slightly at my tone before he turned his gaze back ahead. He didn't say anything for a moment, and I almost thought we were succumbing back to our silence, before he spoke up. "Does that happen often?"

"Which part? The kidnapping part or the part where I was almost tempted to wipe my snot all over your shirt?"

"... The former."

"Oh. Yeah." I paused for a moment before I commented thoughtfully, "I never told you, did I? That my dad's the head of a mafia organization?"

"No."

"But you knew."

He made a noncommittal noise, lifting one of his shoulders up into a slight shrug. Despite his silence, I knew that his initial question wasn't what he wanted to ask. His real question hung swallowed back in his throat, unwilling to come out. I almost wanted to slap him upside the head and force it out of him.

Instead, I answered it flatly. "I'm used to it. It's fine."

A pause. "You shouldn't be."

I raised my eyebrows at him and asked wryly, "Are you an expert on the workings of the Human World or something?"

"I don't need to be," he answered.

I shook my head. "The Human World isn't as simple as that. Just like how Soul Society has a clear distinction in routine between regular souls and those of the Gotei 13, so does the Human World. The mafia world is almost an entirely separate life to live compared to that of a regular citizen. Things like that happen so often, it may as well be part of the job description: make sure you kidnap at least once and get kidnapped at least once."

"I wasn't talking about the kidnapping part."

"I have photographic memory, Toushirou, not mind-reading capabilities," I scowled. "And don't even get me started on the whole 'read between the lines' bullshit that I hear people talking about."

Toushirou let out a nearly inaudible sigh. If I hadn't been watching him so closely, I would've missed the way his shoulders seemed to tense for just a second before they relaxed. A sense of frustration was easily sensed in his demeanour, but the cause for it, I couldn't even begin to guess. I seemed to be able to predict the general outcomes of Toushirou's behaviour, but the workings of his mind to reach the conclusions he did, I still hadn't figured out.

But I wanted to.

Only because he was supposed to be a genius, though. And how fascinating would it be to wander the mind of a prodigy? That was the only reason I had to be interested in the way his mind worked.

Just that one reason.

Slowly, he began, "No matter how many times something like that happens, you shouldn't 'be used to' it. Every time it happens, there is something different-the circumstances are never the same, and thus your odds change. You can't 'be used' to something that you haven't encountered."

"Isn't it like that for you in battle?" I asked, suppressing the genuine curiosity I had. Like hell I'd let him know I wanted to hear his opinion. "Despite all the battles that you've been through, haven't you accommodated to the fear? The danger?"

"No." His answer came out almost immediately, no hesitation whatsoever. It was spoken firmly, honestly, openly. Despite the lowness of his voice and the quietness of it, that one uttered word rang through the space between us like a call. "I don't believe that the fear when going into battle ever goes away. It's felt, every single time. And one must learn to overcome that fear, every single time."

I scrutinized his profile carefully as he spoke, taking in the way his sharpened turquoise eyes had glinted, the way his mouth was drawn into a grim line. There was a slight furrow between his brows, as if he was reminiscing back to a less than pleasant memory that proved his statement true.

Abruptly, he turned his gaze to meet mine. He stared at me like I stared at him—with the eyes of someone intending to figure another out. Contemplative, observant. Yet in his expression, I saw the traces of a challenge, as if he was expecting me to refute his words. There was a guardedness to him that I understood so well, because it was an art that I'd mastered as well.

My hand shot out to grab onto Toushirou's arm and pull him over closer to me as we rounded the corner, breaking eye contact. I heard his faint noise of protest as he nearly crashed into me, and I couldn't help but smirk as I jerked my chin over to the huge pothole that he'd almost fallen into. "It's been there for the past two weeks. You're welcome."

He glanced at the hole, opening his mouth to say what I was sure would be a "thank you," until he turned and saw the smug expression on my face. Immediately, his features fell into a deep scowl. "A word of warning would be appreciated next time, Tsubaki."

"Well, I'm sorry that I was too concentrated on our conversation to pay attention to where all the potholes in Karakura Town are," I replied sarcastically, letting go of him. My wrist stung at the effort it took to pull him over, and I turned away to hide my grimace at the ache.

Unfortunately, he caught it. Knowing I'd understand what he was referring to, he informed me, "They'll take a while to heal, Tsubaki. The ropes were rough."

"Don't think it had much to do with the ropes, so much as what I did with those ropes," I muttered, frowning at the memory of when I'd felt the moment my skin broke when I'd disabled the two men in the back. I hadn't expected my skin to break with such actions, but I suppose that I hadn't really tried to fight anyone in too long. My body was getting weak.

I made a mental note to mention training practices to either Jay or John.

"What did you do?"

I raised my eyebrows at him and scoffed. "I kicked ass, that's what."

"Right," was his flat, clearly unimpressed answer.

"You of all people should know that it's best not to judge a book by its cover," I told him, eyeing his white hair. I saw his eyebrow twitch at the blatant regard for the source of his delinquent image. "I'm sure that others underestimate you just because you're young, too." I paused for a second before I asked, almost horrified, "You are young, right? I mean, I know that you said your hair's natural, but you act like a grandpa, so please tell me you aren't-"

"Shut up, Tsubaki," he interrupted, irritation painting his tone. He directed a glower at me as he hissed, "I do not act like a grandpa."

"Sorry to break it to you, but… You kinda do."

"No," he said through gritted teeth, "I don't."

"... Whatever helps you sleep at night, Toushirou." I had to bite back a smile at the look of absolute aggravation and disdain mixed along his face.

He proved my attempt futile as he ground out, "It's not funny."

Unable to help it, I let out a small laugh, shaking my head slightly in amusement. Running through my hands through my messed up hair, I began to comb through it with my fingers and start pulling it into a high ponytail. "I think I've discovered another sore spot of the Hitsugaya Toushirou."

"Drop it," he commanded in a mutter, though any fight he had in his voice had disappeared. Surprised at the sudden change in tone, I glanced over at him as I finished tying my hair up, only to have him drop his gaze the moment our eyes met. The corners of his lips were pulled downwards slightly, but other than that, nothing about his expression gave him away.

I hummed noncommittally for a moment, letting his odd behaviour slide. "How old are you actually?"

"None of your business."

"Touchy."

His eyebrow twitched. "It isn't relevant."

"I never said it was," I replied, shrugging my shoulders again. I tilted my head back to stare at the sky, noting that the blue was two shades lighter than yesterday and that there were no dark clouds in sight. Briefly, I wondered if those that lived in Soul Society shared the same sky as those of us in the Human World. Turning my eyes back to Toushirou, I said honestly, "I just want to know."

This time, he held my eyes for a few heartbeats before he sighed, closing them. "I'm far older than you, but not at all old in Soul Society."

"That wasn't so hard to admit, was it?" I teased, entertained by how reluctant he sounded. Most people were the complete opposite; they hated admitting their old age, and had no problem bragging about their youth. But I understood where his reluctance stemmed from-it was almost like admitting a flaw. Being young was a double-edged sword in plenty of ways, and for someone like Toushirou, a dignified combatant, it was no wonder he only saw it as a weakness.

Any response that he was going to provide would've been drowned out by the abrupt, inhuman wail that sounded just a block and a half ahead. It was a shrill, tortured scream that pierced my ears, making me wince at the high tones. Toushirou also seemed to be caught off guard with the sudden shriek, but he didn't look as bewildered as I did about the source. His head whipped over to where it was coming from, ignoring the muffled beeping from the cell phone he had in his pocket.

"... No," I whispered, my eyes widening. Before I even knew what I was doing, I had taken off running, ignoring Toushirou's exasperated call. My heart pounded rapidly in my chest, my feet pounding along the pavement. A feeling of horror and shame twisted inside of me, fueling me to run even faster in hopes that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't too late.

The screaming didn't stop the entire time that I ran, only seeming to get more and more devastated as time went on. I nearly tripped when I tried to turn the last corner, going so fast that my feet skidded along the pavement for a moment before I managed to propel myself forward. I felt the wind get knocked out of me as I took in the scene that I'd just brought myself to.

In front of the house that used to be his, he was halfway sunken into a small black hole that had formed in the ground. Chris' hair was no longer that beautiful golden blond that so many people complimented him about—now it was just a tarnished memory of what it used to be. Washed out, dirtied, dull. His eyes used to be a clear blue, but they had rolled so far back into his head that I couldn't even catch a glimpse of his irises anymore. The sclera had turned completely black, and that almost seemed to seep into the undertones of his skin. The glow around him wasn't that magical one that people were proud of; it was a dark one, a menacing one.

It was a glow that spoke of how far he'd fallen.

Why? A million thoughts ran through my head, but nothing stayed for long. Something clenched in my heart at seeing him as he currently was—because I knew what kind of person Chris was. He was more than his demons, more than what this was turning him into. This wasn't what was supposed to have happened.

"Chris," I breathed. He continued wailing, unable to hear. He slammed his hands down onto the pavement, digging his elongated nails into the floor. Slowly, my feet placed one in front of the other. "Chris."

His screech was cut off as he snapped his head over in my direction. Heavy pants escaped him instead, the movement of his chest with every breath was so big, so painful-looking. From his still-opened mouth, drool dripped and dropped and disappeared into that dreaded hole he was in. The Chain of Fate that was attached to his chest was nearly gone.

Why?

I didn't know what to say. My heart had called for my feet to bring me here, and yet, I didn't have the right words. What could I say to this Soul that I'd befriended and forsaken? What could I say to this Soul that had wandered this place for so long and couldn't find the solace he'd needed?

I had no words.

The only thing I had was that ache in my heart, that deep desire to do something. To provide some sort of peace, some kind of condolence. I wanted him to have gone while he was still himself, not as a Hollow. I wanted to stop him before he turned into someone that would destroy what he loved, and yet—

Chris' entire body abruptly straightened violently before curling backwards. The wailing that he'd stopped came back again, this time louder, stronger, higher. I felt it ringing in my ears, and I was helpless as I watched the very moment his Chain of Fate reached his chest. One second, it was there, and the next…

A hole. A hole where his heart would've been, and the Chris that I could at the very least recognize was no longer there. Instead, standing in front of me, thinly shrouded by the fog that had appeared, stood a Hollow.

His eyes, nothing at all like what they were when he was a human or a Soul, stared straight at me like a predator would stare at a prey. He stared at me with eyes full of deadly life, of revenge, of something absolutely bitter. They pierced mine, as if willing me to realize this is what I'd let him turn into. My heart stuttered in my chest. When he stretched an arm out, slowly, reaching for me almost like he was going to ask for a handshake, I didn't move. My knees had locked even as they shook, my hands clenched into fists so tight that they were white. I stood there and I watched as his gigantic arm got closer and closer, and then—

And then I felt a gust of wind coming from behind me, flying right past my left side. It curved perfectly to slice Chris in half, mask and all. He made no sound. I heard no sound. He just stared at me, eyes unwavering, arm still outstretched, as he disintegrated.

I felt Toushirou step closer to me.

"He wasn't here the last time couple of times I visited." I couldn't tear my eyes away from where he'd been. "I thought he'd moved on. I thought maybe someone performed Konsou on him while I was asleep or not paying attention, or something. I hadn't sensed his reiatsu, so he shouldn't have been—" I stopped, hearing my voice crack. I thinned my lips, swallowing down anything else that wanted to escape me.

I wouldn't cry again. Not today.

"There was nothing you could've done, Tsubaki," he said quietly.

My eyes shut tightly, but painted on the back of my eyelids was every single detail of him. Of him as he was when he was alive, and of him as he was just a few moments ago. Engrained into my mind, I would always remember what I'd let him become. I shook my head. "So many things. I could've done so many things."

Why?

"His soul's in peace now."

"Now," I repeated. I pressed the palms of my hands into my eyes and tried to breathe properly. "That isn't the point."

For a moment, he didn't say anything. Silence stretched out between us as a mutual friend, content as she was. But as it continued on and on, the more absorbed in my own thoughts I got. The more scenarios I conjured up, the more memories I flashed back to. I found every little loop where I could have done something, every little hitch in detail that would've indicated that Chris shouldn't be left to find his own way.

"... You believed in him enough to let him try to save himself." He broke the stillness between us softly. "That isn't necessarily a bad thing."

"I deliberately ignored every detail that signified that maybe it was."

"He didn't seem like the type that would appreciate being forced to go. You gave him that fighting chance. Although he didn't get a chance to let you know, that doesn't mean he didn't feel it."

"That's absolutely awful. I let him try and fail. Even if he won't remember now that he's in Soul Society, in those moments, what was he thinking? How did he feel?" I let out a shaky breath. "If you hadn't been here, what he turned into—Toushirou, I let him become something that would've harmed others. Innocents. The moment I noticed—"

"It's too late, Tsubaki," he interrupted me firmly. I whirled around, opening my mouth and preparing to tell him that he needed to understand that I knew that I'd done wrong, and I didn't need him to downplay it for my sake, but the words got stuck in my throat. He was only two feet behind me, clad in his Shinigami uniform and his white haori. His zanpakutou was sheathed and slung back over his shoulder, his arms at his sides. The demeanour he presented was casual, but his eyes were lit like a fire under the night sky.

Beautiful, purposeful. Creating its own warmth.

"Whatever he felt, whatever he thought, there's no point in dwelling so much on it. You'll never get a solid answer, so anything you base on your ideas of what he wanted or how he felt, it's all invalid. Whether or not you believe that what you did was right or wrong, that's up to you to decide. And what you decide now will dictate your decision in the future, when you actually have the ability to change anything. That's what you should be focusing on." He spoke every word meaningfully, his eyes never wavering from mine. I wasn't sure how he did it—maybe it was the quiet tone he used, maybe it was the way his eyes never changed—but he didn't sound at all condescending. He sounded like he was simply voicing out his earnest opinion on the matter, all the while endeavouring to offer comfort in it.

My eyes fell to his feet, the edges of his uniform and the concrete just a blur of colours. I inhaled. "Have you ever let a Plus decide whether or not it was time for them to go to Soul Society?"

A heartbeat, two. "There's a very important difference between you and me."

"... Right." I tried to calm my mind, my heart. I tried to gather back my usual wits and snappiness, but the images of Chris kept flashing through my mind without my consent. My vision began to splatter with black as memory after memory invaded me, and I let out a surprised gasp when a sharp pain erupted in the back of my mind. I fell to a crouch, squeezing my eyes shut tightly and pressing my hands against my head like it would stop the agonizing sensation.

Why?

Vaguely, in the back of my mind, I heard Toushirou ask, sounding faintly alarmed, "What's wrong, Tsubaki?"

I couldn't give him an answer. I felt like some invisible force was trying to pry open my head from the inside out, like something was pounding and pounding away. There were parts of my mind that seemed to be swelling with unbelievable amounts of pressure, pressing out, preparing to detonate. A part of me began to panic, the feeling bubbling up inside of me. My migraines only seemed to be getting worse and worse as time went on, and the amount of pain they brought me every single time was beginning to be too much to simply brush off.

Why?

"Tsubaki, breathe," Toushirou's voice urged.

I wanted to tell him that I was trying. Except he seemed to be telling me to breathe normally, which I found incredibly difficult to do. It felt like I couldn't get enough air into my lungs, and the world began to spin, further worsening the pain in my head. I tried to keep it together, to follow the double-vision of Toushirou's chest movements in order to regulate my breathing, but I couldn't focus.

I couldn't do anything except succumb to the darkness that called out my name.

I sat, waiting. Watching.

Waiting for what, I didn't know, but I watched the shadows. I watched them come and go, numerous of them, all sorts of shadows. I watched them from where I sat, too far away to really see anything else.

It was pretty where I was. Looking around me, I was almost awestruck by how beautiful the garden was. I was sitting on the edge of a majestic white-marble fountain, but the statue that was the main centerpiece of it was overshadowed by the sun in the back. I could tell that vines had grown around the statue, though it didn't take away from the beauty of it at all. This particular part of the garden seemed to be one of the smaller and more flower-orientated divisions, because I could see enormous cedars and Douglas firs growing way off to the side. Japanese maple trees alternated with the beautiful cherry blossom trees every few meters, lining the rectangular space. Daffodils, flowers of which I held extra fondness for, grew proudly around the cobblestones that surrounded the fountain, not at all overshadowed by the reaches of baby breath bushes. Red and pink camellias, so perfectly bloomed that they nearly looked fake, decorated the entrance to this little garden like sentinels.

The sun was high up in the bright blue, blue sky, meaning it was probably just a while past noon. Clouds drifted by leisurely, no sign of an upcoming storm at all. Since I was the only one here, I was surrounded by silence and nature, and I hadn't ever felt more content. This was my favourite spot to be, my own little sanctuary. The feeling of being at peace enveloped me here like I was its daughter.

Very, very few select people ever came to the gardens here, despite knowing about them—they were just a bit too far out of reach to be convenient, especially when everyone was constantly hustling and bustling. That worked in my favour.

I didn't mind being alone. As a matter of fact, there were numerous times that I enjoyed being alone more than I took pleasure in other people's company. But there were some times, especially when I sat here watching those shadows, that I craved company that wasn't my own. The shadows that moved in groups, that seemed to smile, that seemed to laugh so heartily that I could nearly hear them from where I was… A part of me wished I could live that way. That I didn't have to be alone.

Because it didn't take a genius to figure out that being alone could sometimes lead to loneliness.

A soft sigh escaped me as I shifted slightly, pulling my knees up to my chest. I rested my heels along the edge of the fountain, my eyes trained on the moving shapes that I could hardly make out.

What was I waiting for?

It seemed so pointless. There was an uncertainty to this waiting, like I wasn't sure that the thing I was waiting for was even real. It was frustrating, having to wait for something that I didn't know would actually come. And yet, even when I tried to move away, my body didn't listen. It stayed in the same place, unwilling, because what if?

… What if what?

I scowled.

My mind crafted and then dismissed thought after thought after thought. Almost before my thoughts were fully formed, an answer was already being pulled out of the corners of my mind.

People always asked me about my memory. Whether I liked it, whether I didn't. Whether or not I really could remember everything with the utmost clarity, or if it just seemed that way—maybe the thoughts from a year ago or however long ago would've actually disappeared. I never really knew how to respond to such inquiries. I was born with the memory I had, and I'd never known anything else. How was I meant to know whether I enjoyed it, without knowing what life would be like without it? I didn't know how to describe to others that I simply did not forget things. That though they may be buried deep in my memory, they were still there, and they were as accessible as what I ate for breakfast that day, so long as I searched for them. The concept seemed strange to others.

But even so, that was better than the ones that looked at me like I was some kind of object meant to be observed and marveled over. The people who turned testing my memory into a game, the ones that didn't understand that having such a memory didn't make me anything less than human. My brain wasn't a toy, and it seemed to take a while for people to understand that.

I thought as I waited. I thought about lots of things, too many things. I thought about so many things that I wouldn't even be able to write down a list of everything. The connections between my thoughts ranged from absolutely logical to utter sporadic, with little to no rationale linking the two thoughts at all.

I thought as I waited.

And waited.

The shadows that I watched continued to move. Moving in groups, moving alone. Sometimes I caught shadows doing things that I was sure they would've wanted to keep a secret, and during those times, I looked away. Even if I was waiting, even if they were just shadows, everyone had a right to their own privacy. How creepy would it have been if they knew someone just sat and watched their shadows, anyway? Nobody normal engaged in such a hobby.

A strong wind blew by, sending cherry blossoms scattering through the area. Strands of my hair that had fallen out of their hastily done braids blew into my face, cutting into my vision as lines of cerise. My clothes flapped around me, but I paid that no mind.

I waited.

When the gust of air had gone as suddenly as it came, something slowly began to sink into my view. Lightly, swaying back and forth and back and forth in the air as if moving along with a pendulum, a small, fluffy white feather fluttered to rest along the back of my hands.

I tilted my head.

What was I waiting for?

I opened my eyes blearily, only to be greeted with a moon-lit room and my ceiling. I immediately closed them again, the silver moonlight a bit too bright, before I slowly began to blink and allow them to adjust. I was tucked into bed, out of the uniform that I'd been in earlier that day and in my pajamas. My head no longer felt like it was being torn apart, and my vision was no longer black-spotted, but there was a weariness that hung over my mind and body.

A flutter of cloth, and then I heard, "You're awake."

Surprised, I immediately jolted and turned to the window. Toushirou was crouching on the windowsill of my room in his Shinigami uniform, one hand loosely holding onto the top ledge, the other resting at his side. The moonlight hit his hair in a way that made it shine like it was made of angel's tears, and casted a glint in his eyes that made them look indescribable. A small frown was etched onto his features.

"Toushirou," I greeted in a murmur, my body immediately relaxing. I fell back onto the bed, keeping my head turned towards him. Running my hand through my hair and pushing the strands out of my face, I asked, "... What happened?"

"That's what I should be asking you, Tsubaki." His voice blended into the room.

Slowly, sluggishly, I shook my head and closed my eyes briefly. "Migraine. It happens from time to time, as I've told you before. I know your memory isn't that bad."

His tone was unconvinced. "Migraines of that degree should be medically examined. Even Michimoto said he'd never seen such a thing happen."

"Jay doesn't see a lot of things," I muttered under my breath. I felt so drained, so tired. It was like all the energy had been sucked out of me. I could tell that it showed in my voice, this exhaustion that I felt. "You had to carry me back, didn't you?" I examined his nonchalant expression before letting a small chuckle leave me at the thought of his reluctance.

He didn't answer, but he knew he didn't need to. Instead, he asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Like sunshine and rainbows," I mumbled, cracking a smile at the slight narrowing of his eyes. More seriously, I responded with, "I'm fine."

The Captain stared at me, opening his mouth like he was going to protest what I'd just said, but he seemed to decide against it. His mouth closed, and he nodded curtly instead. A pause. "Try to get some sleep."

"Are you patrolling tonight?"

"Yeah."

"Alone?"

"What of it?"

"Shouldn't you be taking it easy?" I blinked at him, feeling as though my eyelids weighed far more than normal ones should. "It's been a pretty eventful day. If you don't rest, you won't grow."

This time, it was the bulging vein along his neck that signified his annoyance at my comment. Yet, when he spoke, he kept his voice deceptively calm and collected. "Shinigami's endurance is far superior to a regular human's. It isn't necessary to request an additional officer for patrol."

"Yes, yes," I dismissed, scrutinizing his facial features to see how honest he was being. He didn't have any huge bags under his eyes, nor did he look visibly worn. His tone, too, was no different from usual. Perhaps the only reason I felt so dull and lifeless was due to the migraine I'd had earlier, as opposed to the kidnapping and the scene with Chris.

Toushirou turned without another word, about to head off to continue on with his duties. But before he could, I stopped him. "Toushirou."

He threw me a glance over his shoulder. "What?"

I met his eyes, and softly, I told him sincerely, "Thank you."

It was a thank you that encompassed all that I was grateful for up until now. Thank you for saving me time and time again, thank you for patrolling the area to make sure I would be safe, thank you for what he'd done for Chris today. Thank you for being there for me even if I never knew I needed anyone, for—well, everything he'd ever done and hadn't needed to.

For a handful of heartbeats, he didn't reply. He merely stared at me, like he was trying to figure out who the person in front of him was, like he was trying to come up with the right words to say to something so simple, yet so complicated. Eventually, he simply settled for a nod and quiet, "don't thank me, Tsubaki," before he turned back and, jumping off the sill, disappeared into the night.

I let the familiar flicker of his reiatsu sing me a lullaby and pull me back to sleep.

A / N:

And that's the end of this chapter! To be honest, throughout the time I wrote this, it took so many unexpected turns. There were some that were just so... misplaced that I had to scrap it, which is something that I hardly ever do. It was such a strange experience.

Anyhow, I hope that you guys enjoyed it! I think it was the same average length as my usual chapters for this story, but it felt really short when I was editing it. Maybe it's just that it's so new and so... refreshing to write about Yuzuru and Toushirou again that I felt that way.

Speaking of Toushirou though, I need to apologize. It's been so long since I've immersed myself in the Bleach universe that I'm not a hundred percent sure that I still have some grasp of his character. I MEAN, I'M HOPING I DIDN'T TOTALLY BUTCHER HIM, but I'm just saying that if he seems a little off... Sorry. HNNG. I'll do my best to reacquaint myself with the workings of his mind whenever I can.

ENDLESS LOVE AND THANKS TO;

Guest, As Darkness Takes Over, XxSaphirezxX, Eventria, Flaming Belladonna, LadyAmazon, jasminefiregreen, Syl The tWins, Guest, Diclonious57, XxGrimShadowxX, Guest, Momochan77, AshGopal, Peppei, ApocalypticSquirrel, kris10oflegend, chibianimefan26, Lynxkitten, TechnoDee, and Sakura Chara

Also, so many thanks to everyone who alerted and favourited over the months! I honestly can't tell you how much it surprises and touches me when I still receive notifications telling me about alerts and whatnot. It stuns me that people are still discovering this story and are still interested in it, so thank you! (:

RESPONSES, LEGGO!

To Guest;

Wow, has it been that long? I'm so flattered that you've stuck with me through the years! HAHA. When you say it like that, I can hardly believe I've been writing on this site for that long. Time sure flies, yeah? Thank you for being so faithful, despite my less than ideal updating habits. (:

I'm glad you're interested in her! To be honest, I'm not sure if I've lost the fire that I used to have when I first started off writing this story, but I almost find it hard to write the same snappy responses. LOL. It was a struggle for me, but I think I'm just connecting a bit more to another side of Yuzuru that I didn't write about before? It's hard to describe without giving anything away, but yes, thank you so much! HNNG.

Family is most definitely important, and it'll have a role to play, so I hope you look forward to that!

Thank you so much for having stuck with me through the years, and hopefully you can find it in yourself to continue with me through to the end. I appreciate you so much for sharing your thoughts and your support. I hope you enjoyed this latest chapter! (x

To As Darkness Takes Over;

I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU WERE HAPPY. I hope that this latest update was able to evoke the same elation that you felt last time, instead of confusion about what the hell you're being informed about. HNNG.

Thank you for being so understanding and being so kind. It's a lot of me to ask everyone to wait, especially such long lengths of time, for just a chapter to come out, but it's because of such supportive and wonderful people that chapters even come out, so… Thank you. So much.

You are absolutely wonderful, and words cannot accurately convey just how touched and grateful I feel when I read your encouragements. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I've made you wait so ridiculously long for this, but I've managed to finish the ninth chapter of this story, and I hope it didn't disappoint you! (:

To XxGrimShadowxX;

HELLO! You thanked me, but I really should be thanking you. Thanks for givin try, even though it didn't necessarily catch your eye at first. I know the apprehensiveness that comes with testing out a new book or story, so thank you! HAHA. I'm so glad that you loved it and could connect with it!

I'm not sure if you're still stuck, unable to find inspiration, but I truly hope that you've managed to overcome that part! It's always so hard to keep the flame for a work going. I honestly, honestly understand that so well, and so I can only hope that you've managed to fall back in love with the ideas you started with. If not, please give yourself some more time and don't give up, yeah? Sometimes it's surprising the way things turn out. (:

I'm glad I managed to help you one way or another! LOL. I mean, I don't think I really did anything worth a thank you for, but I'm happy to have been of help nonetheless.

Thank you for sharing with me your thoughts and for being such a lovely human being. I've finally updated, and so I hope that this chapter was worth at least one-fifth of the wait I've put you through. I hope to continue hearing from you, love! ;D

To ApocalypticSquirrel;

I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far! Admittedly, there hasn't been much to enjoy ( I am so sorry ) but nonetheless! I want to believe it only gets better from here, so y'know LOL.

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and for your support. I honestly appreciate it so much.

YOU REALLY THINK SO? HAHA. To be honest, I haven't actually sat down and read anything on this site in years, so I'm not quite sure what the fandoms and writers have been up to as of late. Your compliment is huge, since the Bleach fandom is one of the biggest ones on this site, and so I really do think it's worth a lot! Although I can't say I totally agree with your compliment, I am so thankful that you've given it to me.

I've finally managed to update after what has been months of waiting for everyone! I hope that this isn't a disappointment! Thank you so much for all your support and for your love, you magnificent human being (x

To TechnoDee;

Ugh, no, stop it. Thank YOU for reading this and for saying such kind things and for just being an overall beautiful human bean. I don't know how to convey how thankful and happy I am whenever I read comments like yours ( and trust me, I read them more than once ).

Thank you so much for saying that and for being so understanding. It's a funny thing, though. I can't help but feel as though I do have an obligation to wonderful people like you, who have invested time and emotions into something that is ultimately my responsibility. Don't get me wrong, I don't force myself to write when I don't want to, or when I'm not feeling it, but I feel like I'll hate myself if I don't finish the things I've started. It's like… an integrity thing, almost? LOL. Does that make any sense? But your words have actually given me so much strength, and I can't express to you enough how thankful I am.

WELLL, hopefully I'll finish this before either of us reaches fifty HAHAHA. But I'll hold you to your word, yeah? (;

Thank you for sharing with me your thoughts and for loving this story and for just being amazing in general. You're lovely, and it makes me happy to know that people like you like the stuff that I create, and just asdfghjkl. HAHA. I've updated the latest chapter after what has essentially been forever, and I hope that this didn't let you down! (:

END OF RESPONSES

Even though it's been a while since I've started this, the wheels are just beginning to turn, yeah? There's still so much more to come, and I hope that you guys stick with me long enough to complete this journey I've started (:

I'm hoping to get something up by May, but don't hold your breath on that. May's kind of hectic too, BUT. For sure at some point in the summer. I hope you guys remember that I said I'm not going to abandon this story, and I won't.

I hope this update reinforces that to you guys.

Although I'm not totally satisfied with my writing the way it is now, once I'm done all exams and whatnot, hopefully I can write more and get back into the swing of it. This chapter sort of felt rough to me, but... Sigh. I don't know. HAHA.

Let me know what you guys think?

Drop me a review or shoot me a PM to tell me your thoughts! Whether good, bad, neutral, I'd absolutely love to hear from you. (:

And for the hundredth time this chapter, thank you so very much. I hope you guys the best until next time, my dears.

XOXO,
-EverlastingxSong-