Hey everyone, I'm back with yet another crack-fic, the first chapter contains references for Harry Potter, if you don't like it, skip this chapter, the upcoming ones won't have Harry Potter references, don't worry :D

Warning: this fanfiction does not make much sense, hence the "parody" aspect of it. If you don't mind crack-fics, then, by all means, go on; I had a lot of fun writing it, I think and hope it would be a fun read for you!

Dear Light-kun:

I saw you applying lipstick the previous day, and I would like to inform you that concealing hideousness by such desperate measures is a trait typical of Kira.

Sincerely,

Fifty percent.

Dear L:

I will overlook your scandalous accusation for now. But since you saw me, I have to admit that I need your opinion; does it go well with the eyeliner or do their colors clash?

Light.

Dear Light-kun:

Sixty five percent.

You look like a pug anyway.

Sincerely,

Mentally scarred detective.

Dear L:

*Gasps* I'll have you know that I was Junior Mr. Japan for two years successively! You're obviously SO jealous. and let me tell you, green is not a very flattering color on your sallow vampire face.

Oh, and by the way, I have destroyed you entire collection of the Harry Potter franchise, in all languages.

Sincerely,

sweet, sweet revenge.

Dear Light:

YOU FILTHY MUGGLE!

Sincerely,

Eighty Nine Percent.

Dear Light:

I will not forgive you.

Sincerely,

AVADA KEDAVRA!

Dear Light/Kira/Death Eater:

Crucio.

L.

Dear L:

Calm down my child, have a comfort cookie.

Watari.

Dear L:

I'm not done yet, for I, Kira, have just replaced your strawberry scented shampoo with actual syrup. Enjoy having an even more awful mess of hair.

As I told you before, sweet, sweet, revenge.

Sincerely,

oh crap...

Dear Light-kun/Kira:

YOU JUST CONFESSED! NYAAAA, I KNEW IT!

On another note, my hair does not appreciate being mocked. Unlike you, it has feelings.

And personality, too.

Sincerely,

You're under arrest.

Dear L:

You win. It's time for celebratory food. Yay! :3

Sincerely,

L.

Dear Light:

You'll get out of solitary confinement in no time. Don't worry, you still got the charm.

Sincerely,

Awesome, charming you.

Dear Light:

Don't worry, Darling, I'll ask them to put us in the same cell. Love ya! :*

Misa-Misa!

Dear L:

Kill me now.

Light.

Dear Prisoner Light:

Did you just ask to be murdered?

I could arrange that.

L.

Done with the first chapter :D Alright, tell me what you think of it. Is it funny enough? Anyway, I have a few more chapters planned, I'll write them while I think of new ones. Reviews will make me a happy, inspired author!