Author's Note: Okay, so I've been getting a few reviews saying that James would never do that to Lily, so here's my answer for you. I completely understand where you're coming from, I mean, sometimes I get upset about that stuff like that too. For example, when someone puts that James has blue eyes or something, I'm like, "NO! HIS EYES ARE HAZEL!" But I also think that the point of FanFiction is to try to do something new. And that's what this story is, a What If? sort of thing. I'm sorry that you feel that way, and I repect your opinion, but I don't agree with it. I really do hope you continue to read though!

Anyways, this is the last chapter, and I hope you've liked this as much as I have!

~iambookworm

Chapter 3

For The First Time

"Lily… please."

"No."

"Why did you come out here then?"

"I only came out here because Marlene told me you were threatening to sleep out here." She is reminded of her conversation with Severus only a couple of years ago…. Though this time he is a Gryffindor, not a Slytherin, and they are together in the Common Room.

"I would have! Anything for you…"

"You're lying."

"I'm not! Lily, I lo—"

"Don't say it! You don't mean it! You just feel guilty!"

"But, Lily, I do!"

She shakes her head in disgust.

"No, you don't."

"Lily… Just listen… No—listen!" She has looked away, seemingly about to walk up her staircase to her dormitory when he speaks, and she stops.

"Please, Lily," he continues, softer. "Just listen." A pause as he looks at her, his eyes pleading with her. "Please."

She pauses, turns, stares at him. Finally, she nods.

He takes a deep breath. "Lily, since the first day I met you, I have been absolutely and completely infatuated with you."

He peeks up at her hopefully, but her frown has not left her face. He plunges doggedly on. "For six years, I fought with you, I argued with you, I infuriated you—" He does that thing he always does, the thing she had once called the NSLHR, the half-snort, half-laugh while his hand finds his perpetually messy hair. "Both purposefully and without meaning to—and I loved you."

She lurches forward. It seems she is about to cover his mouth, to stop him saying the words, but he steps back out of her reach, shaking his head. "But I did, Lily. And I do." He continues his narration, hazel meeting emerald as she stands there silently, sadly.

"And then when we started this last year, I promised myself I was going to get you to be mine, no matter what it took. So I stopped asking you out. I found out your favorite Muggle candy, got Honeydukes to make it, and then gave you a huge bag of it on Halloween, a week before it was supposed to come out."

Her smile comes out, her "Slight Smile", as he once called it. Only now, it's not as full and warm as it once was. It's still hurting; it's still sore.

"Then on Christmas, I went shopping for you. I searched all over Hogsmeade for the perfect present to get you. And when I found it, it still wasn't good enough. So I wrapped it up and sent it to you… in a Golden Snitch, so you would always know who it came from."

She is crying silently now, a few drops of salty water slipping down her cheeks from her emerald eyes which are sparkling like liquidized jewels.

"I sent you flowers on Valentines' Day, lilies mixed with roses, and learned how to write your name in cursive so you'd be impressed with me." He does the NSLHR again, though this time it is entirely directed at himself.

"And then, on your birthday, I did the only thing I had left to do. I asked to be your friend. It wasn't a gift for you, really, but I suppose it turned out to be, because you admitted you wanted to be more than that. And then I was flying.

"For a while, everything was great. We were more than friends. I hugged you, you hugged me. I kissed you… and you kissed me back. Then you said something to Sirius. You were just teasing, but I got jealous. I was childish, and stupid, and I suppose I felt like I had to 'get back at you'.

"So I was mean. I made sure you saw me look at Victoria Valdez's butt when she sat down at the Ravenclaw table.

"Then we were talking… and I knew you saw how awkward I felt. But it was only because I felt terrible. I hated myself for doing that to you. I felt weird, and I avoided you for a while.

"I stopped saying your name, Lily, because I was scared I was going to mess up. I was dwelling so much on what I had done, feeling so guilty that I had hurt you, that I thought I might say Victoria's name instead of yours, and that you would, of course, think it was because I was thinking about her… in a… bad way. So I stopped saying your name."

By this time they are sitting in front of the fire, her emerald eyes trained on the flickering flames, the hot bursts of fire throwing shadows across her face, making the tears and their paths glitter on her face. He continues to stare at her.

"I felt so guilty, I was doing all the wrong things. I told myself over and over again that I would be good now. Then Lindsay shoved her chest in my face and I did the wrong thing again. And then I answered her, and I stuttered. I did the wrong thing again.

"Then we had that kiss…. I was still doing everything wrong, and I felt so unfaithful. I felt like I didn't deserve you. So I pulled away. And I hurt you again.

"And then you were sitting outside with Marlene, and I wanted so badly to ask you if you would like to do something that night, but I couldn't. I was doing everything wrong. And I was still hurting you.

"And all that guilt… it made me a terrible person. I stopped holding your hand so much. I know you noticed it. When Roxanna sat in your spot at breakfast, I didn't bother telling her to move. I didn't realize what a huge jerk I was being until too late."

He pauses, and his breath is ragged as he continues. He looks away from her now, staring intensely into the fire.

"I was going to break up with you."

The shock of the words are enough to send more fat tears rolling down Lily's cheeks. Yet she still doesn't look at him.

"I was going to break up with you… because I hated myself for hurting you. And that's the truth, Lily. You deserve better than me. I'm a bad person. I'm so sorry for hurting you. Please, Lily. I'm so sorry. If you can't forgive me… I understand."

He waits, silent, and she is silent, too. Suddenly she speaks for the first time in his speech.

"I… forgive you. And…"

She turns to him, and there's something there… in her eyes….

"And I want you back."

And for the first time, James Potter tells Lily Evans he loves her.

HOPE YOU LIKED! :) Please Review! I'll love you forever and ever! Also, I'm writing another story called What's Left of Me: A Lily and James Fanfic if you guys want to check that out!

~iambookworm