Title: A Lesson In Communication

Disclaimer: Not mine. Amano-sensei owns Reborn!

Summary: Contrary to what everyone else had said, Dino was not a slut or a pervert, and no, he did not have a midlife crisis. Tsuna and Hibari thought otherwise. D2718. Dino/Tsuna/Hibari, not necessarily in that order.

Note: Crack. OOC. Ten Years Later. Implication of Dino sandwich. Rated M for language and sexual situations. Featuring Dino, Tsuna, and Hibari in a strange relationship. Written for the writing shuffle challenge, so this fic is vaguely based on the song "I Just Had Sex" by The Lonely Island.

Contrary to what his father, his mother, his former lovers, Romario, Hibari, his gardener, and the old lady on the bus that he had taken when he was seventeen on a rebellious streak had said, Dino was not and would never be a slut, nor was he a creepy pervert. The fact that he had slept with his little brother's cloud guardian Hibari Kyoya, a man five years younger than him, meant nothing. He just appreciated beauty; that was all.

Besides, he had stayed the morning after and did not do the walk of shame, although Hibari did. So in hind sight, Hibari was worse than him, really.

"I am not a creepy pervert," Dino had declared to Hibari when the meeting was over and they were hovering at the door of Tsuna's office.

Hibari, now a man of twenty-six and not sixteen, had mastered the technique of giving Dino a look that said 'You're an idiot' and 'Yes, you are a creepy pervert' at the same time. "Just go," he said irritably. "It was your idea in the first place."

Dino knocked on the heavy wooden door.

"Come in," said Tsuna.

Dino looked at Hibari nervously before they entered Tsuna's office. He repeatedly convinced himself that he was not a slut or a creepy pervert for saying what he was about to say, and besides, Hibari agreed, so Hibari must be a pervert too.

"Dino-san," Tsuna greeted. "Hibari-san. What do you need?"

Tsuna looked exhausted from all the paperwork that Reborn piled on him, and Dino felt bad because he was going to pile another request on Tsuna. 'If you think this is tiring you should see what I want to do to you' was Dino's thought, but he didn't say that out loud because he wasn't a pervert. It wasn't Dino's fault that Tsuna was wearing a very fetching gray suit today with black pinstripe shirt that accentuated his wide shoulders and narrow waist.

Okay fine, the perverse thought was Dino's fault, no question about it.

"Did something happen?" Tsuna was instantly on the alert, probably because Dino was looking nervous and Hibari was making angry eyes at him.

"No, nothing like that," Dino said, and Tsuna relaxed. "I just…have something to ask of you."

"Oh, alright," Tsuna said, shooting Hibari a look, most likely assessing the possible property and civilian damage of a request involving Hibari. Dino couldn't blame him.

"I don't know how to say this," Dino began, and the death glare that Hibari gave him was almost enough to kill. Dino was shit at this. Where was Romario or any of his men when he needed them?

Tsuna looked anxious now, and Dino realized his mistake. Only start 'I don't know how to say this' when the following happened: 1) Someone died, 2) Reborn wanted more death-defying training, and 3) Reborn wanted more death-defying training.

"Ah-hem," Dino cleared his throat as he gave this another try. "You know how I'm in…a relationship of sort with your cloud guardian."

Hibari looked like he wanted to protest, but he didn't say anything.

"Yes," Tsuna answered hesitantly, looking uncomfortable. It was the giant elephant in meetings. Even Yamamoto noticed. "So, what do you two need?" Tsuna looked even more anxious than before.

"I just want to ask…well…."

"He wants to sleep with both of us. Are you in?"

Dino looked at Hibari in horror, and then he turned to Tsuna, who seemed like he was going to faint. That was too blunt, Kyoya.

Dino should say something like, "Ahahaha, he was just kidding. I have no intention of fucking both of you hard into the bed, and then watching both of you do things to each other while I jerk off. Kyoya is the pervert here, not me. Ahahaha."

He didn't say any of that. Instead, he just stared at Tsuna silently.

"Ummm," Tsuna gaped, opening and closing his mouth like he wasn't sure if he was awake or not. He shook his head and blinked his eyes a few times, and then horror dawned on his face when Dino and Hibari still stood before him.

"So, what do you say?" Dino asked weakly. The damage was done, might as well go along with it.

"I…like Kyoko-chan," Tsuna said slowly. He raised both of his hands like they were his shields.

Dino was insulted. He might be a creepy pervert (might!), but not a creepy pervert who wasn't considerate of Tsuna's consent. Dino had his own level of creepy perverseness, and theoretically, if there was a contest for the noblest creepy pervert there was, Dino would win. Theoretically. Because Dino wasn't a pervert.

"No, you don't," said Hibari. "Besides, she's with that herbivore."

"No, not like that," said Tsuna. "I meant that I like people like Kyoko-chan…people that are...girls."

"Want to test that?"

"No!"

"Tsuna," Dino smoothly interrupted before Hibari could say something else to scare Tsuna off because Tsuna looked like he was considering going into Hyper Dying Will Mode to protect his virtue. "I'm sorry for this. I just…I don't know what I was thinking."

"Dino-san, you…don't have to be sorry for what you feel," Tsuna said slowly, although it was clear that he didn't mean it. He probably thought that Dino was definitely the creepy pervert here.

"Does this mean that you're in?" Hibari asked, completely disregarding Tsuna's declaration that he preferred a vagina over two dicks. Dino couldn't understand not wanting two dicks at the same time because hey, if you really thought about it, it was like a buy-one-get-one-free kind of deal.

"No!" And Tsuna kicked them both out of his office with Hyper Dying Will Mode.

QQQ

Several months later, Tsuna asked Dino if that offer still stood. Dino was so happy that he almost cried manly tears. Manly. His tears were manly, thank you Kyoya.

QQQ

"I don't know why I had that sexual crisis," Tsuna sighed.

Dino nodded sympathetically for lack of anything better to say, also because he was distracted by a very nice view of Hibari's ass outside the window. He quickly turned his attention back to Tsuna because he was a nice older brother who was going to be understanding (ignoring the fact that he wanted to sleep with his brother, Dino thought he was doing pretty good as a person), but he caught Tsuna looking at Hibari's ass as well.

"Never mind," Tsuna said. "I know why I had that sexual crisis."

Dino nodded in understanding. "It's alright. You're not the first one who had a sexual crisis because of Kyoya." Then, because he couldn't resist: "So it wasn't because of my amazingly good looks?"

Tsuna looked at Dino. "Well…" He flushed. "Never mind."

"What?" Dino was curious.

"Promise you won't laugh?"Tsuna scratched the back of his neck.

"Promise."

"I was just thinking that if you really want the answer to that question, I could answer you. From your lap."

Tsuna was looking everywhere but Dino's face.

Dino didn't know what Hibari was talking about. They were going to get along fine.

QQQ

The first time they fell into bed together was awkward. Dino and Hibari already had a pace going on, but Tsuna was new to this, so most of the time he just stared awkwardly, not knowing what to do next. When Dino did ask him to do something, it ended up with an elbow to Hibari's chest and an accidental kick to Dino's balls, and then all of them fell off the bed.

"Sorry!" Tsuna cried. "I am so sorry. I'll just—" He looked at the door, ready to flee.

Hibari caught him by the wrist before he could run.

"It's…al..right," Dino choked. "I'm…fine." Although he wasn't fine, and, like how all of one's life passed one's eyes before death, all of Dino's sexual endeavors passed before his eyes, and Dino deeply regretted not sleeping with this guy or with that guy or not being kinky enough, and now, oh god, he would never be able to have sex again—

Tsuna clasped Dino's hand dramatically, as if Dino was dying. Mind you, this felt like he was dying. "Dino-san!"

"I..still…have…a remaining…sexual…regret," Dino gasped. "I must…fuck you both…with my dying will."

"Dino-san." Tsuna was in tears. Was there a Dying Will Bullet for this? Was there one for this kind of situation?

Hibari stepped in and smacked both Dino and Tsuna in the head. "Stop this. Now."

They stopped.

They didn't do anything that night, and Dino almost cursed himself for his terrible idea. Hibari, as usual, left in the morning, but Tsuna had stayed.

Tsuna gave him a smile, asking Dino if he was alright, the sunlight softening his features, and Dino thought that Tsuna might be one of the most beautiful things that he had ever seen, Hibari included.

"I'm fine," Dino said. He was more than fine now.

They stayed in the whole day, and even though they didn't do anything, Tsuna's warmth by his side was more than enough. It was the first time that Dino thought that he might be a sap, in addition to possibly be a creepy pervert.

QQQ

The second time the three of them fell into bed together was better because Tsuna now had a vague idea of what he was supposed to do and where he was supposed to insert things. Nevertheless, there were still limbs sticking out where limbs shouldn't be sticking out. Overall, it was not bad.

Dino fucked Hibari from behind, and Hibari was leaning over Tsuna as they rubbed their cocks together. It was a nice set-up as Tsuna requested that no cock entered his ass, and everyone came accordingly.

When Dino blinked his eyes against the sunlight in the morning, Hibari was already gone (of course, he never stayed). Tsuna was snuggled up to Dino's side, slowly stirring awake.

"Hello," Dino greeted awkwardly because he never had someone who stayed the morning after, former lovers and Hibari included.

"Good—" A yawn broke Tsuna's greeting. "-morning." He rubbed his eye sleepily, and Dino couldn't help himself. He leaned in to give Tsuna a peck on his cheek.

Tsuna flushed. "What was that for?"

"You didn't like it?" Dino panicked. He didn't know what he was supposed to do or what he wasn't supposed to do to someone when you woke up together in the morning. Was there a rule against kissing after sex?

"No no," Tsuna touched the spot where Dino kissed him. "It was…nice."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

They both looked at anything but each other, feeling embarrassed. Finally, Dino hesitantly put his arm around Tsuna, not daring to look at Tsuna because he was afraid of rejection, but Tsuna caught Dino's arm and wrapped it around himself. "There."

They were still afraid of looking at each other, and the situation was so ridiculous that Dino started laughing. This was Tsuna. He knew Tsuna. There was no need for awkwardness.

After a while, Tsuna laughed too.

It was a nice morning.

QQQ

After the thing with Hibari and Tsuna, and after that thing happened several more times at regular intervals, and after Tsuna stayed with him every single morning like the gentleman that he was, Dino discovered that all of his lovers before Tsuna may or may not have been giant pricks.

Hibari not included because Hibari hated crowding, so he had an excuse.

QQQ

When their 'thing' became a 'thing' every night, something began to change. It started with Tsuna's toothbrush in Dino's bathroom, right next to Dino's own toothbrush. Dino was okay with that because it was more convenient. Then naturally, other things followed: razor, towel, clothing….and before Dino knew it, half of his room was Tsuna's possessions.

That was fine. It was easier for everyone involved if Tsuna's things were here.

One morning, the only morning that both Dino and Tsuna woke up early enough to catch Hibari leaving, Hibari had asked.

"Whose toothbrush was that in the bathroom?"

Dino and Tsuna answered at the same time, "Mine."

Hibari nodded and left.

Tsuna's unofficial moving in with Dino must have triggered something in Hibari because it wasn't long until Dino woke up one morning to find a black yukata in his closet.

"Tsuna."

"Yeah?"

"Did you bring your yukata here?"

"I don't have a yukata."

"….There is a yukata in my closet. And it's not mine."

"It's probably Hibari-san's."

"Ah."

"Dino-san?"

"Yeah?"

"This extra towel isn't yours, right?"

"No, the blue one is mine."

"Oh, this one is probably Hibari-san's then."

Dino scratched his head, wondering when Hibari had moved in without him knowing, when Tsuna seemed unfazed by this. Eventually, other possessions that he didn't recognized as his or Tsuna's started trickling in, filling his bedroom. All were Hibari's, according to Tsuna.

Dino wasn't sure what he thought about these changes to his life, especially since throughout his long history with Hibari, Hibari had never showed any sign that he considered their relationship to be anything but physical.

"Hibari-san probably was as unsure about this as you were," Tsuna explained. "He probably didn't know if he could take the next step until he saw that I could."

"How did you know that?"

"My intuition told me," Tsuna's eyes gleamed, and Dino wondered if it was really alright for Tsuna to use his Hyper Intuition to analyze their sex life.

"You can't do that."

"Do what?" Tsuna asked innocently. 'Innocently.' Bull-shit. Last night, Tsuna had Dino's hands tied to the bedpost and had ridden Dino until Dino was a sobbing mess, so no, Tsuna was anything but innocent. And Hibari said that Dino was the pervert here.

"Use your Hyper Intuition to analyze your sex life."

"Why not?"

"Nevermind." He just couldn't win against Tsuna, ever.

QQQ

One night, the only night since forever that Dino and Tsuna didn't get knocked out right after sex, Dino started talking.

"You know, the night I lost my virginity, I called my parents after I was done."

Hibari looked at Dino like he was an alien from outer space. He might be. "Are we going into story-time now?" He said, in a tone that sounded like 'What are we in, kindergarden?'

"I…didn't do that," Tsuna said. "I can't exactly tell mom that the first time I had sex was with my sworn brother and a senpai who couldn't graduate middle school."

"I chose not to graduate," Hibari corrected. Then, "You hadn't had sex before us?"

"What? I mean…" Realizing his mistake, Tsuna hastily tried to recover. "I just—I was—I was busy!"

"It's alright, Tsuna," Dino patted Tsuna's shoulder sympathetically.

"Don't make fun of me!" Tsuna blushed. "And stop looking like you're feeling sorry for me." He smacked Dino's head with a pillow, which in turn, jostled Hibari.

"Do that again and I will bite you all to death," Hibari said.

"You already did," Tsuna and Dino said at the same time, both of them raised their arms full with bite marks to demonstrate. Hibari glared, and both of them wisely said nothing else.

Hibari didn't stay in the morning, but after that night, Dino and Tsuna always tried to remain awake after sex for a while, enjoying as much of Hibari's presence as he was willing to give them.

QQQ

Alright, so Dino was well aware that he was in his thirties, and that he was no longer a spring chicken, but contrary to what his parents, Romario, Tsuna's Guardians, and the woman that smelled like stale cigarettes standing in line with him at the bakery, just because he was having sex with people who were five to seven years younger than him did not mean that he was in a midlife crisis.

"I am NOT in a midlife crisis," Dino declared. People in midlife crisis, at some point, became English teachers at the local middle school or high school, looked at young girls in skirts, and hoped to get a glance of their panties. Dino had become an English teacher at Namimori once to get a better view of Hibari's and Tsuna's ass. Completely different.

"No, of course not," Tsuna said.

"Yes, you are," Hibari said. "Old man." The bastard smirked.

"I am NOT old!"

"You could barely keep up with us last night," Hibari pointed out. Last night was going great until Dino came early.

"Dino-san had a long day," Tsuna defended him. Thank you, Tsuna. My precious little brother (That sounded wrong, but whatever).

"I still have the strength to top both of you at the same time," said Dino. Never mind that it wasn't possible.

"We could top you just as easily," Tsuna said.

Hibari looked at Tsuna. "Really? I know that I can, but I don't know about you."

"I too can top Dino-san!"

Dino shook his head. "I don't know, Tsuna. You seem a little….too short for it. And you, Kyoya," he looked at Hibari, only to discover that Hibari had grown as tall as him. Damn. Must find another excuse. "You are too young."

"Height doesn't mean anything!"

"You think I can't do it?"

"Of course not," Dino scoffed.

QQQ

Dino took back what he had said. Tsuna, despite his height, and Hibari, despite his age, could very well top him.

QQQ

Dino would never admit this, but having both Tsuna and Hibari topping him at the same time was kind of hot.

QQQ

Alright, fine, it was really hot. He might have come three times.

QQQ

Dino admitted that he might be a slut.

QQQ

"I had a dream last night," Dino said one evening.

"What was it?" Tsuna asked. Hibari didn't say anything, probably because he was used to Dino's random burst of anecdotes.

"It was really weird," Dino rubbed his chin. He had a bit of stubble, but he would shave it in the morning. Or maybe not, because Tsuna liked it when he brushed his stubble (or beard if he was feeling adventurous) right above Tsuna's navel. "But I dreamt that I was married to Tsuna, and Kyoya was our son."

"That's….interesting," said Tsuna.

"You dreamt of a sick incestuous orgy?" Hibari frowned.

"It wasn't like that," Dino protested.

"It's okay, Dino-san," Tsuna said sympathetically and proceeded to undo Dino's pants.

"I'm not a pervert," Dino said, but Hibari ordered everyone to take their shirt off, so his words were ignored.

"Yes, you are," Tsuna said, and before Dino could properly defend his honor as a not-pervert, Tsuna went down on him and cut off all of his thought processes.

QQQ

"Hibari-san doesn't kiss me," said Tsuna. "Does he ever kiss anyone?"

"I think I kissed him once or twice before we hooked up with you," Dino rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "But that was it."

"Does he have a problem with me?" Tsuna frowned. "He always moves away when I try to kiss him."

"I wouldn't worry about it," said Dino. To be honest, he was always too busy with coming to worry about things like kissing and such. "Kyoya is always like that." Dino was fairly sure that like him, Hibari was too intent on thrusting in and out of Tsuna to think about something he considered annoying like kissing.

QQQ

Dino's birthday was the first one that came up, a few days after Valentine's. They didn't celebrate Valentine's either, and Dino didn't bring it up because he wasn't a romantic sap, and they were all manly men here, and it wasn't like they were dating anyway, not like they were all in love with each other because come on, that would be weird, so…

…so of course Tsuna and Hibari wouldn't care about his birthday. That was fine with Dino. Besides, he was in Italy while the other two were in Japan in the midst of this conflict against a rival mafia. Tsuna was busy mobilizing forces like the Vongola boss that he was, and Hibari was busy biting a ridiculous amount of people to death.

No, Dino did not check his phone every five minutes for a possible missed call from Tsuna or Hibari, thank you, Romario. It was a coincidence that he happened to reached inside his pocket for his phone because his wrist itched every five minutes, and he needed something to do.

So it was obviously a surprise, when he received a phone call from Tsuna when it should have been 1 AM in Japan.

"Buon Compleanno," Tsuna greeted him in accented Italian. His voice sounded rough and scratchy. Dino wondered if he had been eating well.

"You didn't have to call to wish me a happy birthday," Dino said even though he was secretly pleased. "I know how busy you are."

"Hibari-san wished you a happy birthday too," Tsuna said, and Dino could hear someone protesting in the background. "But you know, he doesn't like to call for social purposes."

Dino laughed, suddenly missing Tsuna and Hibari more than ever. He should be a good brother of a mafia boss and asked Tsuna how the conflict was going, but he ended up saying: "So, when will I see you two again?"

"Soon. We won't take long. We've missed you too," Tsuna said, and Dino realized that out of the three of them, Tsuna was and would always be the bravest one when it came to voicing feelings.

"Miss me or my dick?"

"Dino-san!" Dino could hear Tsuna's blush through the phone, even though that was impossible.

QQQ

Dino took both Tsuna and Hibari to see his parents. Hibari almost ran to the back garden because he hated crowding, but Tsuna caught him by his sleeve. They then stayed and paid respect to Dino's parents like the gentlemen that they were supposed to be.

"Midlife crisis," he caught his mother whispered to his father.

Damn it! He was still young. He was NOT in a midlife crisis!

His father shook his head sadly and patted his shoulder. "It's alright son. When I was your age—"

"Please don't finish that sentence," Dino begged. "Please."

"At least tell me you three are being safe," his mother frowned. "If you need condoms—"

"Please kill me now," Dino whispered to Tsuna, but Tsuna just gave him a sympathetic look and patted his knee.

"It's alright. We're always safe," Tsuna reassured his parents. "And we try to keep the kinky play to a minimum."

"We made sure that your son consented having both of us at once," Hibari added, face completely serious.

His parents looked horrified.

"I hate you both," Dino hissed so that only Tsuna and Hibari could hear.

Hibari smirked at him afterwards, giving Tsuna a knowing look. Tsuna's face revealed nothing until Dino drove them back, and then he started laughing, the traitor.

QQQ

It was still better than visiting Tsuna's house. Tsuna's mother gave them a pamphlet that said, "What to tell your gay son about safe sex! Better to be safe than sorry!" along with a box kit of lubes and condoms.

Dino was pretty sure Tsuna's mother was supposed to read that pamphlet, but he wasn't going to question it, especially since Tsuna's father was glaring at both Dino and Hibari from across the kitchen table.

QQQ

Tsuna and Dino looked at each other, then at Hibari.

"No," said Hibari.

And so they did not visit Hibari's parents.

QQQ

Neither Dino, Tsuna, or Hibari had put a name to this 'thing' between them, but Dino had sort of assumed that it included cohabitation, sex only with each other, and the occasional group snuggling (he was working on that because Hibari still refused). To be honest, Dino wasn't sure what he was doing, except for the mechanic of penis in, penis out, and he knew that Hibari was in the same boat. So when Tsuna asked:

"Dino-san, Hibari-san, what are we doing? What is this between us?"

"Sex," Hibari answered right away, giving Tsuna a look that could be translated eloquently as 'Duh?'

"Nothing else?"

"What else?" Hibari asked irritably. There was something strange about his irritation, and Dino recognized it as Hibari lashing out because he was confused.

Dino couldn't blame him. He didn't know how to answer Tsuna himself.

When Tsuna turned to Dino, he shrugged helplessly. "That's about it, Tsuna. Sorry."

"Okay," said Tsuna, and there was something in the slump of his shoulders that made Dino felt guilty. Dino looked at their possessions tangled together in his room, at how their lives were knotted so tightly now that it was impossible that 'sex only' described what was between them, but he had never done this before, never questioned whether he could be more to someone than a sex thing, so he didn't say anything.

QQQ

Dino should have known that The Problem would come up sooner or later.

He returned one day to a giant crash in his bedroom, and when he rushed to see what was going on, his men behind him, he found Hibari sending Tsuna flying across the room, crashing into the door of the closet. Before Dino could ask what was going on, Tsuna got back to his feet and charged, sending a swift kick to Hibari's chest.

They leapt at each other again, but Dino quickly got in between the two and stopped them. "What are you two doing?"

Romario immediately held Tsuna back while Dino held Hibari back. "I saw you," Hibari said angrily. "You traitor!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Tsuna protested. "I didn't do anything wrong."

"I saw you!" Hibari accused, struggling against Dino's arms. "Let me go!"

"Saw me doing what?"

"You were with that girl," Hibari snarled. "Did you fuck her too?"

"What? Haru? No!" Tsuna said. "We're just….it wasn't like that!"

Dino felt his stomach dropped. "Tsuna?" And at Dino's voice, both Tsuna and Hibari stopped flashing angry eyes at each other and looked at him. "Is it true?"

Dino didn't know what he was asking anymore, but he couldn't think straight. "Are…are you leaving us, Tsuna?"

"I'm sorry," Tsuna said, and Romario let him go when he didn't look like he was going to attack Hibari anymore.

Hibari, however, wasn't done because he took the chance with Dino being distracted to lunge at Tsuna, slamming him against the back wall. "You're not supposed to sleep with her or anyone else, you pathetic herbivore."

"It's none of your business," Tsuna shot back, and Dino felt his anger flared at that because…because….

But they weren't exactly together, were they? It was only a physical thing, and none of them had an obligation to stay faithful to…whatever relationship they had. Dino had never thought that each of them wasn't allowed to sleep with other people, but he didn't think that any of them would.

"I can't do this anymore!" Tsuna yanked Hibari's hands off him. "I just—I know that it's just sex between us, but it was never just sex to me. I can't—you keep confusing me and I don't know how to draw the lines anymore."

"Tsuna—" Dino began, but he didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry," Tsuna clasped Hibari's hand in his, but Hibari jerked away. "I'm not going to settle for less than what I want anymore."

"Stop apologizing," Hibari said stiffly. "Just leave if you hate this so badly."

Dino frowned. No, that wasn't what he wanted; what he wanted was—

"Dino-san," Tsuna's soft voice startled him from his thoughts. "What do you want?"

"I—" Dino said, licking his dry lips. "I don't want things to change."

Tsuna looked away from him. Hibari didn't meet his eyes.

"I see." Tsuna cleared his throat. "I'll just—" He hid his eyes under his bangs. "I'm sorry for assuming…I'll just leave now."

No, don't leave, Dino wanted to say, but then Hibari caught Tsuna's arm before he could walk away.

"No," Hibari said. "Don't go." All of them stared at Hibari's grip on Tsuna, and thought that this was it—this was the moment when it would happen, but then Hibari seemed to be at a loss for words, and mistakenly turned to Dino for support.

But Dino had never asked someone to stay before. People came and went from his life, and he never forced them to stay in a relationship if they didn't want to because why would he tie them down to himself? He didn't have much to offer Tsuna or Hibari; they were young, and they could find someone better, but Dino? He was getting old. His prime time was over.

"Dino," Hibari prompted, and it was the first time in a long while that Hibari had said his name, but Dino couldn't ask Tsuna to stay. It was great while it lasted.

"I'm sorry for dragging you into this, Tsuna," Dino said, and he knew that wasn't what Hibari wanted him to say, but it was something that he had to say for both Tsuna's and Hibari's sake.

Hibari looked like he wanted to kill Dino, but he ignored it.

Tsuna pulled his arm from Hibari. "I'll see you later, Hibari-san, Dino-san."

The bedroom was so empty with Tsuna gone.

QQQ

Dino and Hibari couldn't even look at each other anymore, let alone have sex. Dino was sprawled on the bed, and Hibari was by the window, like he was going to jump out of Dino's life now that there wasn't anything worth staying for. Dino wasn't surprised."Why did you tell him to leave?"

"Me?" Dino chuckled bitterly. No, Hibari wasn't going to pin all of this on him. "You're the one who said that it was only a sex thing in the first place."

"How was I supposed to know?" said Hibari. "It was fine when it was just us. There wasn't a problem."

"For you."

"What?"

"Never mind."

Hibari stared at Dino, crossing his arms. "No."

"No?" Dino said.

"Don't pull out, you coward. Did you or did you not have a problem with what we had?"

"No, I didn't," said Dino. He swallowed. His tongue suddenly turned sour.

"Liar," Hibari said, and then he leapt from the window, disappearing into the night.

So now Dino managed to lose both Tsuna and Hibari. Good job, self. Good job.

QQQ

Contrary to what everyone had thought, Hibari was the one who approached Dino first and not the other way around. Hibari moved swiftly like a predator, taking what he wanted and getting rid of everything in the way, and Dino was swept in by him, mesmerized by his confidence. Dino was well aware that it was stupid, like when he didn't want to be in the mafia, and Reborn just swept him in.

Perhaps being forced in the mafia was more jarring than he had expected because after that, Dino never had a long lasting relationship. He was always tugged along by people who knew what they wanted, and he was content not to think about what he had wanted. He was good at making people happy, and when they wanted it to be over, Dino let them go because there was no point in asking them to stay in something that wouldn't make them happy.

Hibari was like the others, but then unlike the others, he actually stayed, and Dino let him.

"It's a purely physical thing," Hibari had said, and Dino had agreed, despite the fact that no, he didn't quite wanted that, but who was he to ask Hibari for what he couldn't offer?

Then Tsuna came into the picture, and Dino found himself wanting more. But he was past the age where he could catch up to Tsuna and Hibari, past the age for Tsuna and Hibari to want him. If they weren't tired of him now, they sure would later.

Better to let Tsuna and Hibari leave now than for them to reject him later.

QQQ

Dino was fast asleep when a loud bang from the window woke him up.

Kyoya?

Dino snapped awake, frantically searching for Hibari's familiar silhouette, only to catch a glimpse of a falling branch that must have hit the window.

Dino sighed and curled on Tsuna's side of the bed to go back to sleep, enjoying Tsuna's lingering scent before it was gone.

He hated himself a little.

QQQ

Dino was afraid to go to the next Vongola meeting because of…reasons, and so he spent several days contemplating ways to get out of it. In the end, he decided to suck it up and go. The thought of not seeing Tsuna or Hibari for the next few months until another meeting came up was more horrifying than having to talk to either of them, so he might as well go.

The meeting went okay except for the fact that Dino kept pretending that he wasn't looking at Tsuna or Hibari when he really was, but Tsuna and Hibari acted like nothing was wrong in the world. Sure, Tsuna hesitated a little when he addressed Dino, and Hibari glared at him occasionally, but nothing was out of the ordinary, except….

Except sometimes, Dino would catch Tsuna and Hibari shooting looks at one another when the other wasn't looking, like each of them was contemplating saying something to the other but didn't dare to. Then Dino thought about the time gap that passed between all of them and realized that Tsuna and Hibari probably talked about it at some point, without him.

That stung more than Dino expected. Sure, he had thought that each of them would go find someone else at some point, but he had never thought that the two would continue on without him.

This thought left Dino standing in front of the doors to Tsuna's office once more. There was no Hibari to tell him to move forward, no Tsuna to comfort him, but Dino knew that he had to push those doors himself.

"Dino-san?" Tsuna looked up from the papers on his desk. "What do you need?"

And then Tsuna was looking at him with this hopeful look, and Dino's throat went dry. He stuffed his hands in his pockets because they were sweating and shaking, and Tsuna was giving him that look, waiting patiently like always, like Dino was holding Tsuna's heart in his hands, like Tsuna was expecting great things from Dino, but….but Dino didn't know how to do it, to make Tsuna happy, to make Hibari happy. It was always Tsuna or Hibari who decided on things, and now Tsuna was expecting him to make a decision, and maybe that was what Hibari was waiting for too, but….

Dino couldn't do it.

"I was just wondering if you need your stuff." Dino's mouth was dry. "You know, your things at my house."

"Ah," Tsuna said. "Are they in your way?"

"No, not really," Dino said, suddenly realizing his mistake and wishing he hadn't brought it up because now, he really wanted Tsuna's possessions to stay where they were at his place, even if he would have more space when Tsuna took his things back.

"Okay," Tsuna said, looking thoughtful.

"I'll just…" Dino shifted back, pointing a thumb to the doors. "I'll go now."

"Alright."

Dino felt silly. He didn't know why he came in the first place.

"Dino-san?" Tsuna's voice had Dino whipping back, heart in his throat, hopeful.

"Yes?"

"I'll pick up my things this weekend," said Tsuna. "I wouldn't want them in your way."

"It's really alright," said Dino. "You don't have to—they're not in my way, really."

"Don't worry, I'll clear them out."

"No, you don't have to," Dino protested, wanting very much for Tsuna's things to stay as they were because—

….because…he….

"Never mind," Dino shook his head, feeling embarrassed. "I'll be there this weekend. You could pick up your things."

"Thank you," Tsuna scratched the back of his neck. "I guess….I'll see you later?"

"Yeah." Dino swallowed the heavy lump in his throat. "I'll see you later."

It was really stupid, but Dino didn't want Tsuna to move his things because somehow, deep in his heart, he had hoped that they would get back together.

Tsuna was coming this weekend. Tsuna was going to pick up his things.

It was really over.

QQQ

Dino left a message on Hibari's phone.

"Kyoya, Tsuna is coming to my place this weekend to move his things out. If…if you need to pick up your stuff too, I'll be here, so….yeah. Just come if you need your things."

QQQ

Dino woke up Saturday morning to find Hibari standing by his open window, watching the sky outside.

"Kyoya." Dino rose from his bed. "You—you came."

Hibari turned around. He looked furious. "You idiot."

Dino didn't have anything to say to that.

"Did you talk to him?" Hibari crossed the room in three strides, and Dino scooted back, eyes darting out for the sight of Hibari's tonfas. "Did you tell him to leave?"

"What? No!" Dino protested. He never told Tsuna to leave, but he never told Tsuna to stay either.

"Then why would he want to pick up his things?" Hibari snarled.

"I couldn't stop him if he didn't want to stay!" Dino said. "And you, you didn't think we all could…."

Hibari looked away, and Dino felt his stomach dropped.

"You…you thought we could all get back together?" That was news to Dino. He didn't think that Hibari, who suggested the sex-only thing in the first place, would value what twisted relationship they had. It was only a physical thing for Hibari, wasn't it?

Wasn't it?

"Kyoya, did you think that we could…."

"Forget it," Hibari turned away, walking to the window, and Dino couldn't possibly let him go, not when there was a distinct possibility that they could get back together, that—

Dino leapt out of his bed and grabbed Hibari's arm, and it was almost funny because he had never moved this fast in his life. "Wait."

Hibari jerked out of Dino's grasp. "Don't touch me." Dino reached for him again, but Hibari twisted away, hiding his face from Dino. "No."

"Well, did you?" Dino shouted. "I need to know. Did you think that we could get back together?"

"Yes," Hibari hissed. "I want it. I didn't want just sex. I want us. Are you happy now?"

"I…I don't know," Dino admitted. He just felt…like a coward. Dino didn't dare to ask Tsuna or Hibari to leave, but he was too scared to ask them to stay because if they refused, then he would feel stupid because he would know that he was the only one having feelings, and he didn't want to be the only pathetic one having feelings, and he would be damned if the other two found out that he had feelings when they didn't, and then they would leave him because of course they wouldn't want someone who wanted more than what they could give, someone who was way too old to be asking for special privileges.

"What do you want?" Hibari asked, and Dino had it at the tip of his tongue.

"I…" Dino began, and it should be easy to say it, to admit that he wanted that thing, but he didn't exactly know how to say it, not as well as Hibari did. To be honest, he didn't exactly know what that thing was or whether he really wanted it.

"I don't know," Dino blurted out because he didn't know anything else better to say.

Hibari looked disappointed, and it hurt Dino to look at him.

QQQ

Hibari didn't leave, but he didn't exactly acknowledge Dino's existence.

"Hey Kyoya, do you want something to eat?" Dino asked but received no answer.

That was how Hibari was. Once he decided that a person wasn't worth his attention, that person did not exist in his world.

But Hibari didn't leave yet. Dino took comfort in that.

QQQ

Dino was surprised when Gokudera showed up.

"I'm here to pick up the Tenth's things," Gokudera said calmly, and Dino led him in, feeling disappointed that Tsuna didn't come. But there was no rule that said Tsuna had to go, was there?

Hibari had taken one look at Gokudera and said, "What is that herbivore doing here? Where's Tsunayoshi?"

"I'm here for the Tenth's possessions," Gokudera said without further explanation.

"They're—" Dino looked around the room hesitantly. He hadn't packed any of Tsuna's things yet because he had hoped that Tsuna would show up and do it instead, and—

"No," said Hibari.

"No?" Dino looked at him.

Gokudera narrowed his eyes.

"If that herbivore wants his things, he could go pick them up himself," said Hibari.

"The Tenth does not have to answer to you," Gokudera glared and then turned to Dino. "Where are his things?"

Hibari whipped out his tonfas. "You're not getting any of his stuff. Tell Tsunayoshi to come and get them himself."

"I've had enough of this." Gokudera drew out his dynamites. "You've both made the Tenth upset, and that's unforgiveable."

"No, wait!" Dino tried to stop them both, but then Hibari dodged the dynamites Gokudera aimed at him, and his bedroom quickly dissolved into a warzone.

QQQ

When Tsuna finally came, Dino practically yanked Tsuna into his bedroom, but then he remembered that things between them were not-okay, so he quickly let go of Tsuna's hand. Tsuna, however, didn't notice, occupied as he was with Gokudera being thrown against the wall by the momentum of Hibari's punch.

"Stop!" Tsuna jumped in front of Hibari before Hibari could charge forward again. "Why are you hurting Gokudera-kun?"

"Tenth…." Gokudera quickly got back on his feet. "I…."

"And Gokudera-kun," Tsuna turned to Gokudera, so furious that Dino thought he might go into Hyper Dying Will Mode then and there. "What are you doing here? I thought I said you didn't have to come!"

"But Tenth—"

"Get out of the way, Tsunayoshi. I still haven't finished biting him to death."

"No!" Tsuna stopped Hibari by his shoulders when Hibari charged forward again. "I will not have my guardians fight against each other. Stop this now, Hibari!"

Even Dino and Gokudera winced at Tsuna's tone. Hibari lowered his tonfas. "Tsunayoshi."

"I will talk to you both properly," Tsuna said to Hibari and Dino. "I'm sorry that I've been avoiding you both for so long."

"You don't have to apologize to them, Tenth!"

"I'll—" Hibari jerked forward again, but Tsuna held him back. "Gokudera-kun, please. This is something that I have to deal with on my own."

"You always say that!" Gokudera raised his voice. "You've always had to shoulder things on your own. How could you be so selfish?"

"Gokudera-kun, I—"

"When have you stopped telling me things?" Gokudera looked away. "I didn't even know about this thing between you and these two until baseball freak told me. Am I not your best friend?"

"I've heard enough," Hibari growled, but Tsuna just said. "I'm sorry Hibari-san, Dino-san, but may I speak with Gokudera-kun for a moment? Alone?" Tsuna added when Hibari looked like he was going to protest.

Hibari didn't say anything, so Tsuna turned to Dino.

"It's fine," Dino said, barely managed to find his voice. "We'll wait."

QQQ

"They're taking too long," Hibari paced back and forth impatiently, even though it had been only five minutes.

"What's the matter with you?" Hibari's question startled Dino, and Dino found himself disorientated.

"Ummm, nothing."

"Really?"

"I….I'm sorry," Dino blurted out because he couldn't hold back anymore.

"Why?" Hibari's pacing stopped. Dino wished Hibari kept pacing because now Hibari was looking directly at him, and it was making him more uncomfortable.

"For being selfish," Dino said, Gokudera's words coming back to him in waves. He had chickened out before thinking of how Hibari or Tsuna might have felt about the situation, placing assumptions before their feelings.

"I don't know what you're saying," Hibari said, and when Dino was about to explain, Hibari lifted a hand to stop him. "Don't. Whatever you're about to say, you could say it in front of both Tsunayoshi and me. Can you do that?"

"I don't know," Dino answered honestly, and Hibari looked away, disappointed.

"Do you ever know anything?" Hibari seemed like he wanted to start another fight, and no, Dino wasn't in the mood for one right now, and no, everything wasn't about him, damn it. It was easy for Tsuna and Hibari because they were young, and they could do whatever they wanted, but Dino was getting old. If Tsuna and Hibari left him, they would still have chances waiting, but Dino would have nothing.

"Of course I do!"

"Do you even know what you want?"

"I do! I—" Dino began, but stopped when he realized that he didn't know what he wanted. Hibari was right. He knew nothing. "I….never mind."

A knock at the door prevented Hibari from sprouting more angry words, and Tsuna poked his head in through the door way. "Hi. I'm just…sorry for interrupting, but I'm going to grab my stuff now. Gokudera-kun is waiting outside."

"You're not interrupting," Dino said, and Hibari added. "No, because you're a part of this conversation too."

"He is?" Dino asked at the same time Tsuna said, "I am?"

"Ah, I did say that I would talk to you guys about…this," Tsuna scratched his head and shuffled his feet nervously. Dino couldn't blame him. He didn't know what 'this' was either. "I've been thinking about it for a while, and so I'm just going to say it straight out: What I want hasn't changed. I want a relationship beyond sex. I understand if both of you are not comfortable with that, so I'll back off."

"Don't assume that you know everything about our feelings," said Hibari, and Dino nodded in agreement because even though his feelings still confused him, at least he agreed with Hibari's words.

"Then what does Hibari-san and Dino-san want?"

There was a silence after that, and Dino shot Hibari a look. Hibari shot one back. Dino continued to stare at Hibari, hoping that Hibari would go first because he was scared, which might sound ridiculous because this was Tsuna and Tsuna wouldn't hurt a fly unless it threatened the well-being of the world by existing, but Dino didn't want to be the first to admit that he had feelings, and so fine, Dino might be a coward, along with his other titles of slut and pervert.

But Hibari didn't say anything even though he had no trouble admitting to Dino that he wanted the same thing as Tsuna. Then Dino remembered that it was Hibari who suggested that they were in a physical-and-nothing-else relationship in the first place, so he was as reluctant as Dino to concede that he wanted more.

Damn, seemed like both of them weren't going to talk.

"You senpais are not being fair, you know," Tsuna sighed with a sad smile, and then there was this expression on his face, the same one that Dino had once seen when Iemitsu left for five years because he needed to be cruel, the same one on Tsuna's face when Reborn announced that he was leaving for Italy now that he had nothing else for Tsuna. It was worse to see this than to miss Tsuna's presence, because at least when Tsuna wasn't by his side, he could think that someone else could make Tsuna happy. But Tsuna was here, all crushed hopes and disappointment, and Dino hated himself for doing this. He was supposed to be different, Tsuna's brother, not a coward, someone that Tsuna could rely on, and he was everything but that lately.

"Stay," Dino said.

Both Hibari and Tsuna looked startled, and Dino was surprised at himself as well. "Dino-san?"

"I don't know a lot about romance," Dino said. "But…I want you to stay. I want us to be together, and it doesn't matter if we have sex or not. I mean, sex would be nice, but I also like other things too, like when we talked, or when we visited my parents together. I don't know how to be a good…boyfriend," Dino hesitated at the word. It had been a long time since anyone wanted more than sex from him. "But I'll try, if we can have those things other than sex."

"Dino-san," Tsuna smiled, and Hibari didn't say anything, but he looked thoughtful.

"I'm sorry, but I am getting old," Dino sighed. "I might not be able to give what you two really want."

"I thought you don't have a midlife crisis," Hibari said flatly, but Dino knew that he was trying to make a joke.

"Perhaps I do," Dino admitted, and it felt good to say it.

"Your age doesn't change my feelings for you Dino-san," Tsuna said, walking up to Dino and pulling him into an embrace. When had Tsuna grown so strong? Dino hadn't noticed.

"I still want to bite you to death" was Hibari's consolation.

Dino gave Hibari a look, and Hibari said, "No, I refuse."

Tsuna turned to Hibari with a questioning look, and Dino tried to send telepathic signals to Hibari, but Hibari seemed content with ignoring them.

Hibari had to say it too. It wasn't enough without what Hibari wanted. Besides, whatever pride Hibari had was something that Hibari had to overcome himself.

"Hibari-san?"

Hibari reached them both in two strides, and for a moment, Dino thought that Hibari was going to do it, that he was going to admit his feelings, but then Hibari froze as he stood in front of them, wordless. Dino wanted to smack him.

Then Hibari leaned down, a hand underneath Tsuna's chin, and pulled him into a kiss. Hibari began to pull away, but then Tsuna placed both hands on either side of Hibari's face and deepened their kiss.

Hibari had never initiated a kiss before. Ever.

When Hibari and Tsuna pulled away from each other, face flushed and looking adorable, Dino may or may not have pouted. Hibari saw the expression on his face, and, with an exasperated sigh, "Fine," he leaned in to kiss Dino as well.

All was beautiful in the world.

QQQ

"I want us to go on a date," Dino declared one morning, the one morning that Hibari actually stayed after sex, and Tsuna actually managed to make eggs for breakfast without burning Dino's place down.

"That's fine," said Hibari after a sip of tea.

"I think that's a great idea!" Tsuna said enthusiastically, but then he must have read something from Dino's face because Tsuna began to look hesitant as he asked, "But there's also something else that you want?"

"I…." Dino began, not knowing how to say this. "I want….I don't know, but I thought it might be nice."

"What is it?" Hibari asked.

"I don't know how to say this…."

"What is it, Dino-san?"

"It's…very difficult to ask both of you…."

"Just spit it out already."

"I….I want us to hold hands."

There was an awkward silence.

"No," said Hibari.

QQQ

They went on a date, but mostly it consisted of walking around Naminori and trying to stop Hibari from beating up a group of delinquents.

QQQ

And yes, they held hands.

QQQ

Dino got a bruise from Hibari's tonfa for trying though.

QQQ

The bruise wasn't as bad as the one Tsuna got for trying to kiss Hibari in public.

QQQ

Dino might be enjoying an embarrassed Hibari way too much.

QQQ

They were all trying to make this work, whatever this thing between them was.

QQQ

It wasn't until years had passed, when they were having breakfast at a small Parisian café, that Dino stopped, flipped his newspaper, and asked over the breakfast table. "Wait a minute. Are we in an abnormally structured and unofficial marriage?"

Tsuna was chewing his croissant, and Hibari had his eyes closed, ignoring Dino in favor of the nice morning breeze. So it was Tsuna who swallowed down his bite of croissant with a gulp of espresso and answered Dino with a question. "What do you think?"

Damn it, Tsuna. This was something Reborn would do. When the hell did Tsuna turn into Reborn? Dino could have sworn that Tsuna's side burns were nonexistent before, but they had reached the edge of his jaw line now.

Hibari had his arms crossed, his eyes still closed and relaxed, ignoring Dino and his usual burst of emotional stupidity. Tsuna was more patient. He leaned back against the chair, waiting for Dino's thoughts to catch up to him.

A small breeze past by the terrace, and Dino could smell his soap on Tsuna's hair and Hibari's skin. Hibari opened his eyes at last, reaching over the table to take a bite of Tsuna's croissant and a sip of Dino's tea. Dino didn't even like tea and Tsuna didn't even like croissant, but they had ordered their breakfast like this anyway, just because Hibari happened to have a fondness for both.

"We'll visit Kyoya's parents someday," Dino declared, and Tsuna smiled.

~End.

End notes: As the title implies, this fic is about Dino, Tsuna, and Hibari being in a relationship and not communicating well with each other. I wrote this as I listened to "I Just Had Sex" by The Lonely Island, and even though the main point of the song is not fitting with the fic, I thought writing this premise would be fun. It was.