A/N: I am SO SORRY! If you're still reading this then bless you and everything you love. I'm horrified it's taken me this long to update, truly, but there's nothing else for me to say other than, i'm sorry, and here's the next chapter. Please don't hate me!

Sam was having a crappy day. No, worse than crappy, he corrected himself, horrendous. Abysmal.

The family car had broken down, which meant that both his parents were late for work that morning which meant they'd had to take cabs in to work, not to mention the fact that he had no idea how much the repairs were going to cost. Sam ran a frustrated hand through his hair, the whole thing was going to cost them way more than his family could afford right now.

He felt like he'd run into a dead end where Mercy was concerned and to top it all off the mechanic who was fixing his car kept shooting Sam venomous looks from underneath the car's hood.

Sam was nearing the edge of his tether before another look from the mechanic pushed him over the edge and he saw red.

'Alright, you know what. What?!' Sam exploded, and the dark haired mechanic straightened and fixed him with an unapologetic glare.

'What is your problem with me?' Sam demanded, 'You've been shooting me death glares since I got here!'

The mechanic looked Sam up and down like he was something slimy on the bottom of the man's shoe before he leaned back against the Evans car and folded his arms across his chest.

'You might think you got away with it, but people talk, you know.'

Sam shot him a 'what the hell?' look that only seemed to piss the other man off even more.

'You did something to Mercedes!' he barked, throwing the wrench he was holding into a nearby tool tray with such force that it landed with a loud clang and caused the tray to skitter across the bench.

'The whole town knows it!

Sam reeled back at the accusation and the mechanic let out a mocking laugh, his face twisting into an ugly mask of contempt.

'You know, if it were up to me I wouldn't touch your car. But the boss says I have to. Believe me if I had it my way I wouldn't even piss on you if you were on fire.'

Sam blanched, but the mechanic went on regardless.

'You know, I told her you had a bad reputation. I warned her, told her to stay away from you, but she just laughed and said that reports of you had been wildly exaggerated.'

A look of sadness crept onto the man's face only to be quickly replaced by a fiery anger.

'I guess you proved her wrong, didn't you?'

Sam felt the words hit him like a blow to the gut. Was this really what everyone was thinking about him? Sam wondered, he didn't think he'd given them any cause to believe him capable of that, but this mechanic, Sam peered at the name on his accuser's overalls, Hummel-Hudson, had already condemned him, and apparently he wasn't the only one. Sam's eyes narrowed in concentration as he thought, Hummel-Hudson… there was something about that name, Sam remembered, trying desperately to catch the wisp of a recollection that had flittered through his brain.

'Hummel-Hudson…' Sam said out loud as he remembered, 'Mercy told me about you.' Sam nodded as some of the other man's bravado seemed to leave him.

'That's right, you two went to high school together, didn't you? You were the high school star athlete who wanted to be 'secret friends' with Mercedes.'

Sam made the quote marks with his fingers in the air and watched as the colour drained out of Hummel-Hudson's face.

'You want to talk about guys she shouldn't be friends with? How about the one who was so worried about his popularity and social status that he refused to be seen in public with her? What about the guy who told her she was his best friend one day and then completely ignored her the next, huh? What was she to you, Hummel-Hudson? A game? A bit of sport? A failed attempt to get into her pants?'

Sam's voice had risen with every sentence and he was yelling by the end, finishing toe to toe with the over-opinionated grease monkey.

Hummel-Hudson seethed, his eyes shooting daggers at Sam until he took a deep breath and took a step back from Sam.

'Fuck you.'

Sam had been gearing up for a big fight, so he was surprised when the Double H had taken a step back and spoken in that tone of quiet acquiescence. His eyes followed the mechanic warily as he walked out the door and flopped on the curb, turning expectantly when Sam didn't immediately follow him.

'Sit.' The brunette gestured next to him and Sam warily sat down next to him. They were silent for a while before the mechanic started talking, so quiet that Sam had to strain to hear him.

'Mercedes was the only one who knew I was gay.'

Sam couldn't think of the correct response to that so he just kept quiet and waited for Hummel-Hudson to finish his story.

'I didn't accept that I was gay until junior year of high school. By then I was already on the football team, and Coach was already talking about football scholarships and I knew that that could all go to crap if I came out. Maybe it would have been different if I'd been a nobody you know, but I was so popular. I didn't even choose it, but you know what they say, the higher you climb the harder you fall.'

Hummel-Hudson brushed a hand over his hair and stared at an oil spot on the ground as he continued in a faraway sounding voice.

'I don't even know why I told Mercedes. We weren't that close, but she started tutoring me in English around the same time I started figuring all this out and I just wanted to tell somebody. We were sitting in my living room talking about Basil Hallward in The Picture of Dorian Gray and I remember Mercedes' said that he was the only character she liked in the whole book. I asked her why and she said that she thought Basil was in love with Dorian. He didn't actually do anything wrong, he just fell in love with someone who wasn't worthy of it.'

He shook his head,

'She didn't say it like it was bad or wrong, like everyone else I'd heard talk about that kind of thing did. Mercedes just talked about a guy loving another guy like it was normal. She made me feel normal, and that wasn't something I'd felt for a long time.'

Hummel-Hudson sighed,

'So I just opened my mouth and told her, 'I think I'm gay.' I'd never said it before. Never spoken the words out loud, I mean. I remember she was silent for a second, and then she leaned over and covered my hand with hers,'

The mechanic lifted his hand like he could still feel Mercedes' hand on his.

', and said 'I'm glad you told me.' I must have looked at her like she was crazy; I couldn't believe she wasn't treating me any differently. It wasn't like she didn't care, but it wasn't like it was a game changer or anything, she just let me be.

'I really appreciated that.'

The man turned to look at Sam, focusing on him for the first time since he'd started talking.

'I know you think that I didn't want people to know about my friendship with Mercedes, but that's not true. I didn't want people to ruin it, to make it into something it wasn't.'

'How did you know that would have happened?' Sam asked gently and Double H let out a bark of mirthless laughter.

'Because it's exactly what they're doing to you now.'

Sam sighed. He wanted to be able to say that that wasn't the case, but he couldn't. Sam knew from experience how vocal the status quo could get when it came up against things it didn't like. He was willing to bet that homosexuality made an appearance on that list. The guy would have been crucified if people had found out the truth about him back then.

'That's rough, man.' Sam said eventually, not knowing what else to say.

'Yeah,' the mechanic agreed, climbing to his feet and offering Sam a hand to pull him up.

'So, how long have you been in love with Mercedes?' he asked as he led the way back into the garage.

'What?!' Sam wondered frantically how the hell this guy who, less than an hour ago had believed that Sam had killed Mercy had managed to figure out one of his most closely guarded secrets.

Double H took in Sam's expression and scoffed, 'Please! It's written all over your face when you talk about her.' He supplied, 'It's practically seeping out your pores.'

'I-' Sam began, and then let his mouth snap shut, not sure what else to say, and not entirely sure he wanted to deny it.

'I know she's not dead.' He finished finally, his eyes fixed on the bonnet of his family car.

'I don't know how I know, but I just do. I know she's out there somewhere, and if she is, then I have to find her.'

He looked up then, his eyes meeting Hummel-Hudson's blue gaze steadily.

'I have to.'

To his surprise, the mechanic nodded, wiping his hands on a grease stained cloth at his hip before holding it out for Sam to shake.

'Kurt.'

Sam hesitated for a moment, and then clasped the other man's hand in his own.

'Sam.'

'Sorry about that stuff I said…' Kurt apologized after they'd shaken hands and he'd gone back to fixing the Evans' car. 'Everyone in town is saying that you killed her. I'm ashamed to say I bought into it.'

Sam nodded, annoyed, but growing used to hearing about the rumours being spread about him. He just had to believe that he'd find Mercy, and then the record would be set straight.

'So, what changed?' Sam asked after a moment, watching Kurt's hands deftly working in the car.

'I met you.' Kurt shrugged, straightening to wipe his forehead with a grubby hand. 'She always said you were better than this town,' he continued, reaching into the toolbox for the wrench. 'I didn't really believe her… although in hindsight, I should have.' He scoffed. 'It's funny the things you see after the fact, you know?' he asked dryly. 'Mercedes was best friend and confidant to so many people. So many of us loved her… but when she had something to confide, she never came to us.' Kurt realized. 'She went to you.'

He shook his head again.

'Why not trust the person who keeps the Secret Keeper's secrets? Not to mention, I should know better than anyone that this town is very often wrong about.' he sighed again. 'Sorry.'

Sam nodded his acknowledgement of the apology, not trusting himself to say anything. Kurt thought that he was Mercy's most trusted confidant… and maybe he was, but even so, Sam was beginning to learn that there was an awful lot about Mercy that he just didn'tknow. Including who'd taken her, and why Mercedes had been keeping so much from him.

When Kurt told him that the car repairs would take at least another hour, Sam decided that his time would probably be best spent following up on some of the last few remaining leads he had, starting with paying another visit to Quinn at the library.

Luckily, the library was only a few blocks away from the shop, so Sam walked it quickly and pushed open the door to the building, hoping belatedly that Quinn was working today.

'Finished already?' Quinn asked almost as soon as he stepped through the door, carrying the pile of books she was re-shelving over to the desk as she nodded at the book in Sam's hand. He'd spent a lot of time poring over it, but he was eventually convinced that the worn copy of I Am Sam didn't hold any further clues as to Mercedes' whereabouts.

'Uh, yep! All done.' Sam said as he slid the book onto the counter, flipping back the front cover to retrieve the list of numbers Mercedes had left inside before handing it over for Quinn to scan in.

'Do you want me to look up those books for you too?' Quinn asked once she'd turned back from putting the book on the re-shelving cart. She laughed when she caught sight of Sam's confused face and gestured to the list in his hand.

'Those are Dewey reference codes.' She explained gently, as she gestured to the paper in Sam's hand. 'Did you want me to look the books up for you?'

Sam's eyes widened, but he nodded, handing the paper over and watching as Quinn punched the numbers into the computer.

'There are a lot of books here.' She noted after a while. 'Do you want to write down the titles or something?'

'No,' Sam shook his head adamantly, still not trusting that solving Mercedes' puzzle could be that easy. 'I'll record it.' he said instead with a small shrug, 'it's easier.'

'Ok.' Quinn looked nonplussed and started reading off the titles on the screen, pausing intermittently to type in the next code. When she was finished, Sam shut off the recorder on his phone and slipped it into his pocket.

'Thanks.'

'No problem.' Quinn smiled, then her forehead crinkled as her face drained of colour. 'Sorry, I need to-' she interrupted herself mid-sentence by clapping a hand over her mouth and running out from behind the counter, leaving Sam looking after her in confusion.

Quinn came back about five minutes later, looking a little less pale and sipping a bottle of water that she'd got from somewhere. She moved to collect the books she'd left on the counter and jumped when Sam rose into her vision from where he'd been sitting on one of the comfy seats.

'Sorry!' Sam apologized, holding his palms out in front of him as Quinn clutched at her chest and fought to get her breathing back to normal. 'Sorry!' Sam said again, 'You rushed off so quickly, I just wanted to make sure you were ok.'

Quinn accepted the water that Sam had pressed into her hand again and sipped slowly, lowering the bottle a few moments later and waving a hand to fend off Sam's concern.

'I'm fine. I must have eaten something bad is all.'

Sam's brow furrowed, 'Do you need me to call someone for you? Can anyone cover?'

'No, no!' Quinn closed her eyes and waved her hand again. 'I'm fine. Really. It was nice of you to stay, but I'll be alright.'

Sam didn't look convinced, but Quinn straightened and shot him an assured smile. 'I'll be fine and it's quiet.' She allowed. 'Don't worry.'

Sam frowned but nodded. 'You sure?'

'Positive.'

'Ok…'

Quinn laughed, 'Wow, Mercedes wasn't kidding when she said that you're one of the good ones.' She said as she physically turned him around and gave him a gentle push away from the counter. 'I've never had someone I didn't know show this much concern over me.' Quinn told him, then paused, 'Well, other than Mercedes.' She shook her head. 'You two are like peas in a freakin' pod.'

Sam sighed; it felt like he was hearing that a lot lately.

'Alright, feel better, Quinn.' Sam acquiesced as he pushed open the door to the library, smiling when Quinn rolled her eyes playfully and shot him a wave in return.

'See you, Sam.'

Sam looked down at the list of titles he'd transcribed from the recording he'd made at the library, still not sure how any of them were supposed to help him. Did Mercedes expect him to read all of these books? Sam wondered, and then dismissed it. Mercedes knew about his dyslexia, and he was pretty sure that she wouldn't put him through all that.

He looked from the original list of numbers to his transcribed list again, comparing the two and trying to figure out what they meant. Some of the numbers had vertical lines drawn through them, Sam noted, but how did that coincide with the titles?

I'm Sorry by Sam McBratney and Jennifer Eachus

I Need to Tell You by Jo Costello

Secretly Do Good Deeds by Melody Carlson (line)

If They Only Knew by Chyna

They Would Never Hurt A Fly by Slavenka Drakulic (line)

Kill Shot by Vince Flynn (line)

Me and You by Anthony Browne

They've Killed The President! By Robert Sam Anson (line)

Before by Irini Spanidou

This is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper (line)

The Only Way by Ola Wegner

and

They're Watching by Gregg Hurwitz

Sam stared at the sheet for a minute longer, reading down the list of titles. The books were from completely different genres and seemed to have nothing in common, so the clue was probably somewhere in the titles… at first Sam hoped that there would be some repeated name that would tell him who had been after Mercedes, but after scanning through the list he realized that wasn't likely. After that Sam figured he could ignore the authors, which meant the clue was in the titles… if he supposed that the numbers with lines through them meant that he wasn't supposed to read the whole of the corresponding title, then… Sam quickly drew lines through the relevant titles and read down the list again. His blood ran cold as he read and reread the message he'd inadvertently written down.

'Sam,

I'm Sorry

I Need To Tell You

Secretly

If They Only Knew

They Would Kill

Me And You

They've Killed Before

This Is The Only Way

They're Watching.'

Sam sat back in his chair, his knuckles turning white as he clenched the paper in his hands. He read the words again, hoping he'd made a mistake even though deep down he knew that he hadn't. The message Mercedes had left him answered two of the questions that had bothered him the most: Why hadn't she told him before, and why the need for all the clues. Sam ran a hand through his hair as he expelled a long, shaky breath, it looked like now he had his answer, but it wasn't what he'd been hoping for. Not at all.

Fuck.