Flipside: The Spontaneous Files
"Chatterday"
By Nan00k
This is a little plot bunny that grew into a ravenous mammalian mind monster over the course of a few weeks, and naturally, I complied to give it life. Like most of The Spontaneous Files, this is set during Aftereffects Chapter 8, though it really doesn't have a set time…or setting, for that matter. The story is written in chat room form. As in…IM conversations. Enjoy the stupidity which is fandom.
Nicknames/People
MentalPerson4545 – Becky
BarryCade86 – Barricade
ChecktheRepz – Bumblebee
Ironhide123 – Ironhide
Docbot1 - Ratchet
Popo12 - Prowl
AllDatJazz221 - Jazz
SexyBot1001 – Sunstreaker
RedTerror2 – Sideswipe
TheGreatAndPowerfulStarscream – Starscream
OptimusPrime – Optimus Prime
.
Warnings: Utter stupidity, lack of characterization, authentic typing/dialogue, foul language, sexualized language, parody of fans
Disclaimer: Transformers © Hasbro. I have regrets.
.
Mentalperson4545 has entered the chat room.
BarryCade86 has entered the chat room.
Mentalperon4545: holy crap! You actually came!
BarryCade86: I am at work, idiot! I came to tell you to stop sending me these infernal instant messages!
Mentalperson4545: :D
Mentalperson4545: I'm bored! Mom's on lockdown so all I can do is sit at the computer.
Mentalperson4545: and ur a freaking robot from mars, dude! You can multitask!
BarryCade86: Does it ever occur to you that you're a waste of carbon, and are taking up the space that more significant matter could occupy?
Mentalperson4545: OUCH
Mentalperson4545: BURNNNNN
Mentalperson4545: srly, Cade, would it kill you to socialize?
BarryCade86: Communicating through instant text based messages over the Internet is not socializing. It's just retarded. Besides, I talk to enough of you damn fleshbags everyday.
Mentalperson4545: YEAH RIGHT. I bet you just sit in the corner of a parking lot all day and only turn on the sirens to go through red lights. I bet you don't talk to anyone besides Emily all day!
BarryCade86: Want to bet? I'm talking to one of your fellow species right now. The dumb ass wanted to run a red light.
Mentalperson4545: LMAO. I would kill to see you on the job.
Mentalperson4545: omg, would you take me in to work on Take Your Daughter To Work Day?
Barrycade86: What are you even talking about?
Mentalperson4545: Would you take me in the patrol car one day? i wanna see you take down some punk ass!
BarryCade86: You are absolutely retarded.
BarryCade86: I'm leaving.
Mentalperson4545: WAIT! At least give me half an hour!
BarryCade86: Of reading your senseless garbage? Slag no.
Mentalperson4545: If I really bug you that much, I'll invite the others to come over too so we can all talk!
BarryCade86: No, do not do that!
Mentalperson4545 is away.
BarryCade86: BITCH!
Mentalperson4545 returns from away.
ChecktheRepz enters the chat room.
Ironhide123 enters the chat room.
Docbot1 enters the chat room.
AllDatJazz221 enters the chat room.
BarryCade86: DAMN YOU!
Mentalperson4545: :D You were lonely!
BarryCade86: The hell I was!
Mentalperson4545: So, you do enjoy my company, then?
AllDatJazz221: And silence reigns! LOL!
Mentalperson4545: …Cade? Hello?
BarryCade86: Give me one good reason to stay on this line, you insolent brat.
Mentalperson4545: cause you love me?
BarryCade86: Try again.
ChecktheRepz: Come on, Barricade! What wrong with socializing? :P
AllDatJazz332: Yeah, we are in Code Green. ;) Make the best of the truce, man. We'll be wantin' this downtime later.
BarryCade86: Let me guess: the Bumbling Brat and the Saboteur?
ChecktheRepz: :(
BarryCade86: And the Hatchet and the Hulking Menace?
AllDatJazz221: Aww nicknames! And all we call you is Asshole.
DocBot1: Call me that again, Decepticon, and I will meld your servos to your aft plates.
Mentalperson4545: OOOo
Mentalperson4545: Them's fightin' words!
Ironhide123: He'll do it, too.
BarryCade86: As if you could even try it, Autobot.
Mentalperson4545: SO, to avoid arguments, LET'S CHANGE THE TOPIC
Ironhide123: To what, kid?
Mentalperson4545: …"Ironhide123?"
Ironhide123: What?
Mentalperson4545: XD Someone sure lacks originality!
Ironhide123: What?
AllDatJazz221: She's talking about yer screen name.
Ironhide123: What about it? My alias is just fine for a noncombatant situation such as this. This activity does not require me to shield my identity.
ChecktheRepz: The question is, who took the name Ironhide 1 through 122? O_o;
AllDatJazz221: Good point, Bee. XD
Mentalperson4545: But the purpose of having a screen name is to have a really funny and cool one!
BarryCade86: And this is coming from the idiot who calls themselves "mental."
Mentalperson4545: Shut up, this is from five years ago! It was funny at the time!
Ironhide123: Why would you chose that for your designation?
Mentalperson4545: BECAUSE I WANTED TO
AllDatJazz221: Yikes! Caps.
Mentalperson4545: Lol, sorry.
DocBot1: Rebecca, I am curious.
Mentalperson4545: about what?
DocBot1: Human designations. I understand that the creators of a human child name it at birth without a thorough examination of their personalities. Why?
Mentalperson4545: Uh, because it takes at least ten years for us to get to the point where we've established personality and habits?
DocBot1: Even still, it's a curious practice. What does your name mean?
Mentalperson4545: …I actually don't know.
Mentalperson4545: Hang on, I'll Google it.
BarryCade86: You don't even know what your own name means? Idiot!
Mentalperson4545 is away.
Mentalperson4545 has returned.
ChecktheRepz: So? What does it mean?
Mentalperson4545: Rebecca means "to be tied" or "bound" apparently.
BarryCade86: "Bound?"
Mentalperson4545: What the shit? My name is sexist!
AllDatJazz221: Either that or that says something about your fetish.
ChecktheRepz: XD LOL
MentalPerson4545: damnit
DocBot1: That's fascinating, though. Human names have meanings that their spoken and written forms do not reveal!
AllDatJazz221: Yeah. Ours are a bit more obvious.
Mentalperson4545: Well, yeah. Jazz=musical, Ratchet=tools/fixing things, Ironhide=tough guy, Barricade= an impossible asshole
BarryCade86: Thanks. So much.
Mentalperson4545: :3 Anyways…then, there's Sunstreaker=fast yellow guy, Sideswipe=sneak attack, Prowl=subtle, Mirage=he turns invisible, Hound=tracker, Megatron=big robot, Optimus Prime=the best/good king, Starscream=screechy voice from pit
ChecktheRepz: Haha! True!
Mentalperson4545: I almost forgot about you, Bee! Your name…hmm…
Mentalperson4545: …why the hell are you named Bumblebee of all things?
ChecktheRepz: :|
Mentalperson4545: Seriously, do you have metal bugs on Cybertron?
DocBot1: No, we don't.
Mentalperson4545: that'd be so cool though!
ChecktheRepz: My name is supposed to signify I am quick on my feet, in relation to my coloring and physique.
Mentalperson4545: …so it means you're small?
ChecktheRepz: D: No, it doesn't!
Mentalperson4545: LOL!
BarryCade86: For once, I agree with your logic, brat.
Mentalperson4545: Was that directed at the metal brat, or the carbon-based brat?
AllDatJazz221: Ya know ya just called yerself a brat, right?
Mentalperson4545: …well, what do you know, I did. :\
BarryCade86: HA!
AllDatJazz221: Yeah…so…what we gonna talk about?
Mentalperson4545: Hey, Ratchet?
DocBot1: What is it?
Mentalperson4545: I have a serious question.
BarryCade86: You? Primus, help us.
Mentaperson4545: Shut up, I'm being serious!
DocBot1: I'll try to answer it; go ahead.
Mentalperson4545: Have you ever gotten laid?
DocBot1: Laid? What is that?
BarryCade86: Oh, Primus!
AllDatJazz221: Oh snap! :)
DocBot1: What is it? Seriously, what?
Mentalperson4545: I just lol'd. XD Poor Ratchet's not getting any.
DocBot1: Getting WHAT? :(
Ironhide123: According to the Internet, "laid" is a slang word for sexual intercourse.
DocBot1: …what?
Mentalperson4545: DO YOU HAVE A GIRL/BOY FRIEND?
DocBot1: Those are human relation-based terms, Rebecca. In case you haven't noticed, I am not a human, so they do not apply to me.
Mentalperson4545: Okay, so what about a bond mate?
ChecktheRepz: Wow, how do you know that phrase?
AllDatJazz221: *snerk* Did Barry have the "talk" with you?
Mentalperson4545: Lol, what?
BarryCade86: WHAT? I'm not her creator!
Mentalperson4545: He's my cousin
Mentalperson4545: *in law
ChecktheRepz: You have our deepest sympathies. :3
Mentalperson4545: X_x Thx.
Mentalperson4545: IN ANY CASE, Ratchet!
Mentalperson4545: do u have a bondmate?
DocBot1: Why in the Matrix do you want to know?
Mentalperson4545: because ur Ratchet! And i'm a fan girl! there were so many theories i heard from other fans, i just gotta know!
DocBot1: That is no reason.
Mentalperson4545: come on, its just conversation.
ChecktheRepz: Why, are you interested in him?
AllDatJazz221: PWNED.
BarryCade86: :)
Ironhide123: Ha!
Mentalperson4545: I SWEAR TO GOD I HATE YOU ALL! D:
DocBot1: It serves you right for asking questions that don't concern you at all.
Mentalperson4545: And ew, that's disgusting! We're not even the same species!
Mentalperson4545: And if I had to choose from anyone of you, I'd so go for Soundwave.
BarryCade86: WHAT?
Ironhide123: Primus, you're weird!
AllDatJazz221: Aw, man, that's sick!
DocBot1: How do you even know who Soundwave is?
ChecktheRepz: AND WHY?
Mentalperson4545: I have my sources.
Mentalperson4545: And dude, its Soundwave! Of course he has fan girls!
Ironhide123: What the slag is a fan girl?
Mentalperson4545: RATCHET! Answer the question!
DocBot1: It's none of your business, slag it all!
Mentalperson4545: …
Mentalperson4545: …are you gay?
BarryCade86: LOL
RedTerror2 enters the chatroom.
SexyBot1001 enters the chatroom.
DocBot1: Oh, no!
RedTerror2: you don't even know who we are yet!
ChecktheRepz: Yes, we do.
SexyBot1001: Oh yeah? Who?
Mentalperson4545: hmmm…how about the only retards who'd call themselves "terrors" or "sexy"?
ChecktheRepz: The twins! :3
AllDatJAzz: So, u gonna answer Beck's question, Ratch? ;)
DocBot1: NO.
RedTerror2: A question about our beloved Hatchet? Do share!
Mentalperson4545: LOL
DocBot1: Say it, and I'll deactivate you all!
Mentalperson4545: Well, since I'm human, I'm off limits to your evil revenge, thanks to your leader's lovely decree of "we'll never harm humans." AKA me.
DocBot1: ...
Mentalperson4545: xD I WIN!
SexyBot1001: What was the question?
AllDatJazz221: I ain't risking my servos for it, but it was funny.
RedTerror2: TEEEEEELLLLLLL MEEEEEE!
Mentalperson4545: I'll tell it to you in l33t.
SexyBot1001: ߮1|\|9 17!
Mentalperson4545: O_O whoa!
DocBot1: I HATE YOU ALL!
DocBot1 has left the chat room.
Mentalperson4545: 1 4$|{3Ð 1ƒ R47(h37 3v3r 907 £41Ð b3ƒ0r3.
BarryCade86: He already left, idiot, so type normally.
RedTerror2: LMAO!
SexyBot1001: That's brilliant! I'm going to ask him later!
Mentalperson4545: Are you sure you don't already know the answer to that? :3
AllDatJazz221: Aaaaand another awkward silence. Sweet!
ChecktheRepz: Did you just suggest…Sunstreaker and…Ratchet are mates?
SexyBot1001: THAT'S DISGUSTING! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SUGGEST THAT?
RedTerror2: *is offlining from laughter*
BarryCade86: Where do you get these absurd ideas?
Mentalperson4545: Fan fictions.
ChecktheRepz: What are those?
Mentalperson4545: fan made stories about an already established story…like the Transformers, AKA, where you guys are from. :P
ChecktheRepz: Are you still saying that we're fictional characters from some human story?
Ironhide123: Ha! That again.
Mentalperson4545: But I'm not making it up!
AllDatJazz221: Aww, that's so cute, kid.
SexyBot1001: You humans are so fragging weird.
Popo12 has entered the chat room.
Mentalperson4545: OMFG
Mentalperson4545: ROTFLMAO
Mentalperson4545: ROTFLMAO
Popo12: What?
AllDatJazz221: I think its yer name, Prowler. :)
Popo12: You're the one who chose it for me, Jazz, after you insisted I joined this obviously senseless discussion. Ratchet was right to warn me not to come.
BarryCade86: Oh, believe me, there is no discussion happening anywhere within this chatroom.
Mentalperson4545: YOUR NAME HAS STOLEN MY SOUL
BarryCade86: ?
Popo12: It what?
Mentalperson4545: ILU. *heart*
RedTerror2: I don't understand half the shit you say at all, kid.
Mentaperson4545: Wow, neither do I!
BarryCade86: Are you high?
Mentalperson4545: Dude, I've been laughing hysterically for the last ten minutes! I'm like seeing colors flashing in the corner of my eyes, I'm laughing so hard.
ChecktheRepz: As long as you don't start tasting it.
Mentalperson4545: what?
Popo12: What were you even talking about, anyway?
AllDatJazz221: Well, we started off dissin' Ironhide's username, and then Ratchet's 'sexuality' was brought up.
Popo12: …why?
BarryCade86: Like I said before, there is no logical sense to any of this conversation.
Mentalperson4545: Oh, come on. I'm just teasing him.
Mentalperson4545: Besides, there could be worse pairings between the lot of you I can think of.
Ironhide123: I don't think you could top Ratchet/Sunstreaker.
SexyBot1001: Disgusting!
Mentalperson4545: Wanna bet?
Mentalperson4545: XD Prowl/Jazz!
AllDatJazz221: Hey, don't bring me into this!
Mentalperson4545: I actually like that pairing, thank you. It was huge in the fandom and practically canon.
Popo12: What does that mean?
RedTerror2: It means you and Jazz are sharing a berth.
Popo12: …
Mentalperson4545: Ooh! What about Inferno/Red Alert
Mentalperson4545: Or Ratchet/Wheeljack
Mentalperson4545: Or Sunstreaker/Sideswipe/Bluestreak?
AllDatJazz221: Oh, Primus, you're killing me! XD
RedTerror2: YOU ARE DISGUSTING!
Ironhide123: How do you know all of those names!
Mentalperson4545: Or, for the kicker, Ratchet/Ironhide/Optimus/Megatron/Perceptor?
BarryCade86: Okay, you are totally pulling this out of your ass now!
Mentalperson4545: XD That last one, yeah, but do you want to hear the real canon pairing?
ChecktheRepz: :D We're all audials!
Popo12: Sweet Primus almighty, this is ridiculous.
Mentalperason4545: Starscream X Megatron
AllDatJazz221: LMAO!
BarryCade86: You have to be kidding me.
Mentalperson4545: I am dead serious!
Mentalperson4545: Megs beats Starscream…Starscream always comes back…they bitch like an old married couple…and for some reason, they never kill each other!
BarryCade86: Starscream has tried to kill Lord Megatron. Hundreds of times.
Mentalperson4545: Still! Maybe he's got a reverse of that beated wife syndrome or whatever!
Ironhide123: Maybe he's just a malfunctioning glitchhead.
Mentalperson4545: But what if? What if he's really in love!
BarryCade86: YOU SICKEN ME. CONSTANTLY.
SexyBot1001: Can you imagine walking in on them in berth?
Mentalperson4545: Oh my god.
RedTerror2: It'd be like watching a tank assaulting a jet.
ChecktheRepz: o_o
SexyBot1001: It would be a tank assaulting a jet.
Mentalperson4545: *dies*
BarryCade86: Stop talking about this!
SexyBot1001: And did you know Starscream's nickname is Screamer?
Ironhide123: Oh, Primus.
SexyBot1001: I bet I could guess why. :P
RedTerror2: "Oh, Megatron!"
SexyBot1001: "Oh, Screamer! Scream for me!"
BarryCade86: MY PROCESSOR IS BURNING!
Mentalperson4545: I think I'm too young to be reading this. Outside of fan fiction, that is.
ChecktheRepz: Me, too.
RedTerror2: "Ooooooh…!"
Mentalperson4545: SUNNYSIDEUP, KNOCK OFF THE PR0Nz! YOU'RE CORRUPTING THE CHILDREN!
RedTerror2: "OOOOOOOHHHHHHH…!"
BarryCade86: I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP, AUTOBOTS!
Popo12: This is completely absurd!
Mentalperson4545: I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE THE CONVERSATION WENT
ChecktheRepz: We were having a conversation?
Mentalperson4545: Apparently. Like five minutes ago.
Popo12: Congratulations, you've shorted out Jazz.
RedTerror2: We made his processor crash?
Popo12: No, the hysterical laughter made a few fuses give out.
Mentalperson4545: I was laughing until it got creepy.
BarryCade86: This thing got creepy the moment you signed on.
TheGreatAndPowerfulStarscream enters the chat room.
Mentalperson4545: …wow.
SexyBot1001: That's just…
ChecktheRepz: Ironic?
Ironhide123: And you accused me of having an overly simplistic alias.
BarryCade86: How the slag are you all getting this address?
TheGreatAndPowerfulStarscream: What is this? Who is sending this pathetically primitive communiqué to my commlink? Barricade!
RedTerror2: LOLLLL
Mentalperson4545: Oops my bad.
BarryCade86: I'm stepping on your dog.
BarryCade86: And then your house.
BarryCade86: And then you.
Mentalperson4545: :D?
TheGreatAndPowerfulStarscream: I demand an answer! What is this?
BarryCade86: YOU STUPID BITCH! I'M DONE WITH THIS!
BarryCade86 leaves the chat room.
Mentalperson4545: AWW!
TheGreatAndPowerfulStarscream: Did he just call me a bitch?
Mentalperson4545: ROTFLMAO *dies*
SexyBot1001: HAHAHAHAHAHA
RedTerror2: LMFAO
Ironhide123: Ha!
ChecktheRepz: Look like you failed to keep him here for thirty minutes, Becky.
Mentalperson4545: Nuh uh! It's been thirty minutes!
ChecktheRepz: Twenty-nine minutes, fifty-six seconds.
Mentalperson4545: BITCH!
AllDatJazz221: Fail! XD
Mentalperson4545: :( Talk about epic fail. He'll bring that up the next time I try talking to him, too.
TheGreatAndPowerfulStarscream: WHAT is going on?
AllDatJazz221: Not to mention the fact he's gonna to ignore you for the next month an' a half.
TheGreatAndPowerfulStarscream: Do not ignore me, Autobots!
Mentalperson4545: Who u calling an Autobot, Screamer?
RedTerror2: LOL!
ChecktheRepz: Hahahaha~!
TheGreatAndPowerfulStarscream: SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!
TheGreatAndPowerfulStarscream: And you, human! I demand you show me the respect I deserve!
Mentalperson4545: Sure, Star Cream.
RedTerror2: HAHAHAHA!
TheGreatAndPowerfulStarscream: HUMAN!
Mentalperson4545: It was a typo, I swear!
Mentalperson4545: :3
TheGreatAndPowerfulStarscream: Enough of this stupidity! Do not contact me again, Autobrats! I don't care if we are in a truce or not!
TheGreatAndPowerfulStarscream: You either, fleshling! I know where you recharge!
Mentalperson4545: ):
SexyBot1001: I have one question, Star Cream.
TheGreatAndPowerfulStarscream: What?
TheGreatAndPowerfulStarscream: AND DON'T CALL ME THAT!
SexyBot1001: Is Megatron good in berth?
TheGreatAndPowerfulStarscream leaves the chat room.
RedTerror2: PWN'D!
Popo12: Dear Primus…
AllDatJazz221: LOL!
Mentalperson4545: Lol, that was kinda mean. Great timing, though.
AllDatJazz221: But it was Starscream.
RedTerror2: And that makes it okay.
Mentalperson4545: Oh…kay…
AllDatJazz221: That was amazing on so many levels of amazingness.
Mentalperson4545: Oh, hey! You're alive!
AllDatJazz221: Yeah, well, we gotta wrap this up.
Popo12: Patrol starts in less than a breem.
Mentalperson4545: Awww!
Mentalperson4545: Let's do this agin
Mentalperson4545: *again
ChecktheRepz: When?
AllDatJazz221: I'm free tomorrow.
Mentalperson4545: I have school.
RedTerror2: We don't need you :P
Mentalperson4545: D':
Mentalperson4545 has left the chat room.
RedTerror2: HAHA!
ChecktheRepz: Jerk!
Ironhide123: Why did I even stay this long?
Ironhide123 has left the chat room.
Popo12: I'll see you all back at the base, on time for your duties.
Popo12 has left the chat room.
AllDatJazz221: Aww, Prowler! Don't go!
AllDatJazz221 has left the chat room.
ChecktheRepz: Well, that was eventful.
RedTerror2: Humans are weird, but entertaining.
SexyBot1001: Let's go find Ratchet and ask him that question again.
ChecktheRepz: And get my servos hacked off? No thanks.
RedTerror2: I bet we could get Sam to ask him.
ChecktheRepz: Don't even think about it. :(
RedTerror2: Okay, okay…:P
RedTerror2: Besides, Sunshine here should be able to tell us all about it, right? ;)
SexyBot1001 has left the chat room.
ChecktheRepz: …where did he go?
RedTerror2: …oh, slag. He knows where we are. RUN.
RedTerror2 has left the chat room.
ChecktheRepz has left the chat room.
OptimusPrime has entered the chat room.
OptimusPrime: I apologize for my tardiness. Jazz informed me of a group discussion going on.
OptimusPrime: …hello?
OptimusPrime: :(
OptimusPrime has left the chat room.
.
End Chatterday.
Next, Barricade and Becky earn a job from a third party source they just can't refuse. Unfortunately, the Autobots have to stick their noses into it, and well, Idaho may not survive.
.
Fun Fan Fiction Facts
-Their names were a pain in the ass to come up with, I swear! :( I must have gone through five different versions for all of them.
-This idea has been floating around my mind for WEEKS, even before I finished Flipside.
-I kept writing "SexyBoy" instead of "SexyBot" for at least five minutes.
-The reason why Becky freaked out about the whole "Popo" thing is based on an inside joke my sister and I have.
-Optimus Prime has no friends. D:
(I warned you; this is total crack and always will be.)