Title: Snow Daze
Author: Valk
Characters: Kain, Lightning, Warrior; Kain/Lightning, Warrior/Lightning
Rating: M for downright smut
Setting: A previously unexplored cycle
Prompt/Wish: Something looking the dynamics between Kain, Lightning and WoL would be boss; can be pairing (any combination) or threesome or just friends/frenemies, I don't mind.
Summary: When circumstance lands her stuck in the company of two very handsome men, Lightning wonders what could possibly be in store.
Word Count: 15,257
Genre: Romance, drama, smut
Special Mention: Written for Saltedpin on LJ for ffchaoticcosmos's holiday gift exchange. Many thanks to Valentine's Ninja for proofing and listening to my bitching throughout writing this monster.
A/N: Kind of a combination of threesome/frenemies/friends. I'm not even sure anymore ¬_¬
…
Lightning watched the sky with increasing interest. Small white flakes fluttered from above, dusting the air with a gentle snowfall. Something about it felt completely unfamiliar. She felt as if she'd never experienced this season before. All the other warriors had groaned, gave a roll of their eyes, or laughed and ran out to play. The last part had mostly been Laguna and Bartz.
But Lightning felt completely foreign in this environment. It was cold and wet. Deep inside, she was certain she'd never been outside in snow before. Something about the name was familiar, so she had heard of it, but she didn't think she'd ever felt it before. And she seemed to be the only one present who hadn't.
Save one.
"Remarkable, isn't it?"
Lightning glanced over her shoulder to find their nameless leader approaching, small flecks of snow already settled on his helm. She nodded once, then turned back to the horizon. "Everyone else seems so familiar and comfortable around this stuff. But I don't."
"I feel no sense of familiarity, either, if it's any consolation. It's cold."
She nodded, fighting back a smile as she observed the snow falling down his wide collar. "No wonder. Your neck is wide open."
His eyes narrowed. "Yes, I am aware."
She gave up fighting and let herself laugh at his expression, saying, "Oh, you should see your face! Man, lighten up!"
"And is that why you tell people to call you 'Light,' Claire? Because you're just an array of sunshine yourself?"
She stood up straight, glaring at the Warrior. "If you haven't noticed, it's short for 'Lightning,' an element of destruction."
He flashed a small, brief smile and turned to walk away, saying, "I am only teasing you. Perhaps it is I who should say, 'lighten up.'"
She scowled and followed after him, moving with the group towards their destination in Melmond.
…
The snow only got heavier as they moved forward, giving Lightning a quick form of dislike for the chilly precipitation. Shelter for the fourteen warriors was few and far between. Caves weren't there at every turn of the road, and more often than not, they were forced to huddle together for warmth at night. Luckily, Firion, Squall, Vaan, and Lightning herself were all capable of casting fire magic so they wouldn't freeze. One of the four was always up for watch, just to keep their fire going.
Lightning was getting sick of staying up. She was having a hard enough time getting used to the icy terrain and knew for sure she'd never been around it before. Several of their members, like Yuna and Zidane, didn't even seem to have any traction on their shoes, but they got along just fine. Others, like the Onion Knight and Cecil, had armor plates covering their feet and they still managed.
How was she the only one suffering from the terrain change?
Somewhere up ahead, Firion's voice called out, "One at a time! This ledge doesn't feel very safe."
And so they proceeded one by one across the thin earthen bridge covered by snow. First was Squall, because he was a capable fighter if any manikins appeared. Then went Firion, Cecil, and then Laguna. Then Tifa, Yuna, and Vaan. Gradually, each one of them crossed and Lightning shrugged, stepping forward to take her turn. She moved carefully, forcing herself to keep her eyes on her footing and ignore her allies' looks at her approach on the ice. The ledge was extremely fragile and she could feel bits of its support crumbling down the cliff far below.
Once across, she looked back and nodded for the next person. The Warrior of Light moved forward, also going slowly. When he was about halfway, the bridge started to crumble. The weight of each member crossing one after another took its toll and the ledge gave out, collapsing down into the ravine and taking the Warrior with it.
Light reached out on instinct for her ally's hand, catching it as Cecil reached out for him beside her. Hands gripped at her ankles, holding her onto the ledge as she gripped the man's hand, determined not to let go. The snow was soaking the front of her shirt and her legs were about numb from the cold, but she would hold on if it meant her life. Allies were friends and she wouldn't let a friend die.
The others above her were starting to pull, reaching for straps of her outfit to help. The Warrior was covered from head to toe in armor, making it all the more difficult for her to hold onto him.
And still he had that stoic expression.
Could that man not feel fear? Was he made of stone or something? What was his deal? Lightning felt a jerk on her side, then slid forward as Firion shouted, "Vaan!"
She felt herself slide back down the cliff the two feet they had pulled her up. It was a difficult matter of balance for six people to pull two people up a snow-covered, icy cliff that could give out at any second. A crumble of snow and dirt fell passed her to her left, causing her grip to fail slightly. She managed to grab hold again, but wondered just how long she could take this.
More snow fell past her, this time on both sides as Tifa called out, "We can't stand here like this! The cliff is going to take us all down!"
Lightning turned to look over her shoulder and called, "Let go, then! We'll see you wherever the paths meet up!"
"Are you insane?" Cecil shouted, his hold on her ankle tight. He kept his eyes on hers, doing everything he could to be a gentleman despite the circumstances. "You'll die!"
"I can't hold on much longer! Either get us up, or let go! The cliff is going out and Tifa's right! We can't risk losing everybody!"
"That's not what I-" Tifa started, but was cut off as Laguna gripped her leg again and shouted, "Everyone, on three! One… Two… Three!"
They tugged again, pulling her up about four inches. The snow was cold and the ice was starting to scratch at her exposed thighs, sending a burn strong enough to cause frostbite through her.
She sighed, getting sick of them not listening, and did what she had to. She kicked, using all the strength she had left to get them to let go. One by one, she wrenched herself free of their hold until Firion and Squall were forced to let go to keep from falling with them.
Snow and dirt tumbled around herself and the Warrior as they fell in a miniature avalanche. A flash of violet moved in the corner of her eye and she struggled to make sense of it, but failed as her head made contact with the side of the cliff edge and knocked her unconscious.
…
When she came to, she felt herself smashed somewhere between two hard surfaces. It was warm, so she must've been buried beneath the soil and not the snow.
Except…
Except she could see light. Daylight. And trees. Where the hell was she? She struggled to sit up to look around, wrenching herself out from between whatever it was.
"Are you all right?"
She turned at the sound of the voice to see Kain sitting there, stripped of his armor and right beside her, thigh to thigh. His headgear was absent as well, leaving long blond hair visible and violet eyes piercing into her. He looked genuinely concerned for her health, and she only managed to reply after looking away, saying, "Yeah, I guess so."
He sat up as well, and turned away. "I apologize for the arrangement. Such was necessary to avoid frostbite."
She glanced back once more to find the Warrior, also stripped of his armor, snug on her other side. He was unconscious and, suddenly, Lightning felt very aware of her situation.
She was currently nestled smack-dab between two very attractive men.
A throb started in her head and she reached up, instinctively casting Cure to the bump caused by her fall. That got one problem out of the way. She looked back to the Warrior, feeling much more comfortable looking to that side since that man was still unconscious. Kain's hand set on her shoulder, sending her through the metaphorical roof, and asked calmly, "Are you well enough to stand?"
She nodded, still not looking at him. "Yeah. I-I'm fine."
He shifted to stand. "Even so, I would ask that you stay with him until he awakens. He seemed colder than you were and I fear for illness. I would stay personally, but I figure it would be much less awkward if a woman were to stay with him, given that we have the option."
She paused, her mind running away with her and picturing Kain huddled against the Warrior. He was right. It would be really awkward. "All right. Until he wakes up." She looked around that the small, desolate circle of trees. "Think you could scrounge up some branches? I can start a fire to help with the warmth issue."
"A sound idea. You'll be all right until I return?"
"Yeah. I'll stay put unless a manikin shows up."
"Very well, then," he said, shifting to replace his breastplate and leg guards, foregoing the arm pieces for such a short trip. Lifting his lance over his shoulder, he gave a brief nod as he replaced his helmet, saying, "I'll return shortly."
She nodded and watched as he walked away, mumbling under her breath about how she always wound up in the most awkward of situations. Well, a promise was a promise. Without looking at him, she shifted to press her hip right against his and slowly laid back. She pulled his arm around behind her to act as a pillow and sighed, settling in for however long it took.
"Lightning."
She looked up, surprised to find Kain standing there already with a slight smirk on his face. "Settling in comfortably, are we?" he asked.
She scowled at him, doing her best to ignore his mocking and replied, "What are you doing back so soon?"
He chuckled as he shifted to sit down next to her, pressing his once-again armor-less legs against hers. "I was away for nearly ten minutes. You fell asleep again."
She blinked. Really? She glanced back at the Warrior, who had rolled slightly in his own sleep to curl up against her. No wonder Kain made such a comment. It must look like they had curled up that way for more than warmth. Oh, man… When that guy wakes up, he is in for it…
Kain shifted to lie back, raising his left hand, the one opposite the side she was on, to prop himself on and settled the other on his stomach comfortably. "Hm. Feels warmer already."
She felt his sarcasm was about to show and, without fail, he added, "But what man wouldn't feel warmer beside a woman as radiant as you?"
Despite her hardest efforts to come up with a retort, her brain was still failing her from all the cold and instead felt her face heat up. She tried to turn away, throwing a quick huff into the air, but froze when she realized the Warrior's face was right in front of hers. Instead, she turned to face upward and stared at the treetops, doing her best to ignore the feel of breath on her cheek.
Wait, that was on Kain's side…
She turned slightly, shifting her eyes first and then her chin, to find Kain propped on his side, staring right at her lips. She felt her face flush even deeper and tried to turn away, but found the Warrior right on her other side. Finally, she mumbled, "What the hell are you doing?"
He gave an amused hum. "Well, he was allowed to curl snugly against you. I assumed it would only be fair if I could, as well."
Still staring straight above, she mumbled a reply, "He's unconscious, Highwind."
"Or is he?"
She turned back to look at the Warrior, releasing a sound of utter irritation when she noticed the smile on his lips. Jumping to a sitting position, she shoved the two men back and rolled to her feet. "God! You two…!"
They both shifted to sit, an amused smile on Kain's lips while the Warrior averted his eyes in an attempt to avoid the awkwardness. Silence ensued for a long moment before Kain finally said, "I've no regrets."
Lightning just stared at him, wondering what made a person do something like that. As she turned her attention towards the Warrior, he shifted uncomfortably. For being so snug up next to her while pretending to be unconscious, he was certainly being awfully bashful now.
The Warrior reached back and rubbed at his head lightly, then glanced around as if just realizing his helmet was gone. Kain glanced towards the pile of purple armor and said, "Apologies. All of us were cold, and body heat is useless when armor impedes."
He nodded absently, then spoke. "I've no regrets, either."
The pinkette's jaw dropped. What was wrong with those two? Did they not realize they crossed a severe social line? Lightning did not like having anyone so close to her, especially a man. Add on another man, and she had a mess of uncomfortable feelings squirming through her. Weren't they here to win a war? What makes someone forget that? What makes them forget their role in this war so easily and make an attempt at romance?
And why in the world did neither of them seem to care that they were both coming onto the same woman?
She kept her glare even, shifting back and forth between the two of them. After a long moment of studying them, she finally stood upright and pointed her Blazefire at them, threatening, "If either of you tries something like that again, I swear to Cosmos, ally or not, I'll kill you."
Kain raised his hands in a mock surrender, a smile still on his face. "You have my concession."
The Warrior nodded his agreement, then said, "However, we must remain warm. I am afraid body warmth will be necessary farther down the road."
Lightning scowled, finally sheathing her weapon and crossing her arms. She knew from before that her fire magic wouldn't be enough to stay warm through the night. It didn't seem that she had any choice. "Fine. But either of you moves closer than necessary while I'm asleep, I'll gut you alive. Understand?"
…
She sighed in annoyance, hacking through a tree's branches with her weapon. Her eyes drifted up to the cliff high above her head, where their allies were likely continuing their travels. The top was well out of sight and the walls were too sleek to scale. They were better off continuing along the base of the cliff and hoping they met up afterwards.
"It will avail you nothing to wish for the company of others."
She turned to glare over her shoulder at Kain wandering near-silent behind her. Yeah, she could be as quiet as a fox in the woods as he could if she wanted, but she just felt like throwing a tantrum right now. It was helping to relieve her anger at having been trapped with those two, of all her allies. She supposed it could have been worse. It could have been two that wouldn't shut up, like Vaan and Zidane, or maybe Bartz and Laguna. That was the start of a nightmare.
"Shut up, Highwind," she muttered, turning back to continue on their perimeter. The Warrior was back in a small opening they'd found, preparing for camp for the night while she and Kain wandered for manikins. The crystal monstrosities were high in number, so they had to be on their guard. The creatures weren't that strong, but they could be tough if there were a lot of them.
She stopped when a hand gripped her wrist and tugged, spinning her around and slamming her back against a tree. Her eyes narrowed and she opened her mouth to yell at Kain, but froze when lips pressed against hers. The kiss was rough and wanting, leaving no room for neither pleasantries nor probing. His leg shifted to brace against her thigh, pinching her legs down to keep her from moving. One of her arms was still in his hold, so she used the other to shove at him.
When he didn't relent, she did her best to keep her thoughts her own instead of thinking about how his tongue was now exploring her mouth. Finally, she shifted her hand to slip around his open neck and gripped just enough to cut off his airway.
He pulled back with a cough, reaching up to massage his throat gently. Lightning glared and spat, "What the hell is wrong with you?"
A moment of silence spread as he took deep breaths. Whether it was the kiss or her grip that left him breathless was a mystery, though. Finally, he slowly raised his eyes to meet hers from under his helm, then reached one hand up to lift it and settle it on the top of his head to reveal his face to her. "Lightning, I…"
Her eyes narrowed further and she reached back, resting one hand on her Blazefire while slipping out slowly from between him and the tree. "Spit it out, Highwind!"
He kept his hands to himself, but locked his eyes onto hers. "Lightning, I'm afraid you're quite the thief."
She blinked. "What?"
"Hm." He shot her a small, almost unnoticeable smile. "It appears you're not even aware."
"Highwind, I'm about three seconds from stabbing you."
"I've fallen in love with you, Lightning."
She stared, wide-eyed. What? What the hell is he…?
"I… assume you do not reciprocate."
"Go to hell, Highwind."
…
Every night, they alternated their turns setting up camp and scouting the perimeter. It had now been exactly ten days since Kain confessed his feelings for her and though they kept together for warmth at night, he hadn't approached her for anything beyond sparring or battle-related subjects. She had kept away from him as well, choosing to go to the Warrior for anything she had questions about.
In the end, she did still have to scout with Kain, though it was a quick, easy job without a sound passing between them.
She hadn't said anything to Kain about his admission of his feelings. She was trying to put off thinking about it, instead convincing herself she could never be with anyone who felt that was the best way to approach a relationship. War wasn't a time to pursue romance, anyway. Maybe after this mess was over.
But…
But what if they all went back to their own world at the end of this? What if this war was all the time they had to know each other? If that was the case, she might end up regretting being a bitch to Kain, but it was his fault for being such an ass.
"Lightning."
She turned to glance at Kain, the two of them on their routine scout for manikins. "What?" she snapped.
He kept a straight face, once again pushing his helmet up to rest on his brow, and said, "I understand if you've negative feelings for me, though is an honest response too much to ask for? I did tell you I'm in love with you."
She turned away, scoffing. "Maybe you should've thought about that before you forced me against my will."
"Please, all I ask is to hear you say 'no.' If you'll deny me that, I've no choice but to cling to hope that you may yet reciprocate."
She wanted to say no. She wanted to tell him to fuck off. She wanted to punch him in the pretty face and kick him where it hurt. But, for some reason, she couldn't. She couldn't fathom why she couldn't. She'd figure it out later. Instead, she turned away and mumbled over her shoulder, "You don't deserve it."
Slowly, his hand settled on her shoulder and it took everything in her to avoid gripping it in the proper hold and flipping him. "Lightning, until you can tell me no, I will be forced to believe you feel the same for me as I do for you."
She stood stock-still, her back rigid and her teeth gnashing down together. Why couldn't she shove him away? Why was she letting him touch her, even? He… He wasn't right! There wasn't any possible way that she returned his feelings!
Yet she could do nothing as his bare fingers slipped around her waist from behind and into the open gap of her jacket, gently grazing along her bare stomach. She sucked in a breath as his hand on her shoulder moved closer to her neck and pulled at her collar to loosen the tight sweater, his lips moving closer to place a light kiss on her neck.
It was starting to terrify her, how useless she was at a moment like this. All she had to do was shrug her shoulder and step out of his embrace. He wasn't holding her with any force, so it would—should—be easy.
But she couldn't move.
She couldn't do anything. Even as his fingers slid across her navel piercing and brushed the top of her tapered shorts, she couldn't move. Even as he stepped closer and pressed his armor-plated chest to her back and unzipped the top of her sweater to kiss the junction of her neck and shoulder.
Her throat was dry and she swallowed to moisten it again, feeling her stomach clench as his hand on her shoulder shifted to pull at the belt below her breasts. Unlike the first time he'd kissed her, he was much more gentle now, easing his hands across her body, smoothing his lips across her skin, and brushing his cheek through the fringe of her hair. Only when his husky voice whispered, "I want you," against her flushed skin did she realize.
She was in heat.
She wanted him, too.
But did she really want him? Or was she just hypersensitive because of his gentle ministrations?
Did it matter?
Even if she had a boyfriend waiting in her home world for her, she couldn't care. She was at war, and she could die before ever seeing that place again. For now, at this moment, the only thing that really seemed to matter was how hot she was feeling and the tender way Kain's hands and lips were teasing her flesh.
"Fine."
At her vocal approval, he shifted, turning her around, and kissed her. One hand stayed on her back, holding her against him, while the other reached up to pull his helmet from his head. It fell to the snow-covered ground with a light 'thunk,' being completely disregarded after that.
At this moment, she honestly couldn't bring herself to care what happened next, but knew Kain's armor had to go. Her hands pressed against his chest, giving a push to shove him back. His breath came and went in heavy pants, his eyes dark with hunger as he whispered, "You said-"
"Armor. Off," she mumbled, gripping handfuls of his hair and pressing a rough kiss to his lips before shoving him back again.
"As milady commands." His lips curved into a smirk as he quickly moved to pull the various buckles to his bodysuit of metal.
While he was busy with his armor, Lightning took turns between watching him and freeing the extra buckles on her own outfit. Her hip pack hit the ground first, followed by her jacket, and then her skirt and the belt with the attached holster. She was left in her skin-tight shorts, her boots, and her half-zipped mini-sweater.
When she glanced back to Kain, she raised her eyebrows at the sight of him without his armor, wearing only his pants, shirt, and chainmail vest. He made quick work of the vest, dropping it to the ground with the rest of his armaments, leaving him in only cloth. The man knew his way around his own armor suit; that much was for sure.
She couldn't explain this feeling. It was dark and hungry, leaving her wanting nothing but to feel his lips and skin on hers. It was a desire to act, nothing more. It was the feeling of a beast before it massacred its next meal, not that of any human being. It should have startled her, or perhaps frightened her, but she couldn't bring herself to care.
For now, she was addicted to this feeling. The urgency, the chase. Whatever it was, she was addicted to it.
Before she could utter a sound, his lips were back on hers, sending her further towards insanity. His hands pulled roughly at the zipper of her vest, shoving it off her shoulders and to the ground. They paused awkwardly at the feel of her bra, so Lightning reached back and freed the clasp, letting it drop to her feet and exposing her skin for him to see.
He towered over her, about a half-foot taller than her, his hands smoothing along her sides before moving up to settle comfortably on her breasts. His lips broke from hers, both of them inhaling deeply as his glided along her cheek, lowering to press a trail of kisses to her neck.
She felt her knees about to give out and took an involuntary step backwards to keep from collapsing. He moved with her, continuing his steps until she felt the rough bark of a tree dig into her back. It was uncomfortable, but she didn't care right now. At least she had a crutch to lean on instead of falling over from the blood rushing to her head.
Her hands gripped at the front of his shirt, her mouth releasing a gasp of surprise as he fondled her breast just right. She pulled at the black fabric, scrabbling to get it off. He ducked his head to help her pull it over his head, then immediately moved closer, pressing several quick kisses to the tattoo-like mark on her left breast.
A jolt of electricity shot through her body, magic coursing her veins as he kissed and licked the brand of power. Her abdomen felt tight, the area between her legs tensing and moistening her shorts. It was insane, the kind of power her magic sent through her when he stimulated her mark. The tingling sensation of lightning threatened to undo her, the pure sting and heat forcing every possible thought from her brain.
His hands trailed along her hips, pulling at the skin-tight shorts now stuck to her skin from sweat and other wetness. His thumbs slipped into the hem, his lips still actively appreciating her brand, and shoved them down to the tops of her boots.
She gasped at the rush of cold air touching into her overheated center. It was almost too much to bear and she threw her head back, groaning a sound of frustration through clenched teeth. Why, oh, why did this feel so…?
"God!" she cried, her fingers clenching his shoulders and her nails leaving marks almost deep enough to draw blood.
In one sudden moment, his attentions left her brand and she gasped again, feeling a desperate need for relief. It was unlike anything she'd ever felt and, damn it, she wanted it now.
Kain's hand moved from her side, reaching up and taking her hand from his shoulder and guiding her touch down to the waistband of his pants. He left the next move completely up to her, so she took his hint, reaching her other hand for the hem at his other side and shoved the fabric down in one movement.
She didn't care anymore. Screw reservation. Screw romantic rose petals on a fluffy mattress. Screw candlelit evenings and low music. Screw whatever else went with a romantic night of lovemaking. She wanted this and she wanted it now.
Without looking down, she pressed her lips against his and settled her hands on his narrow hips, tugging him closer to her. She knew what she wanted. She knew what he wanted. And, damn it, there was no point in waiting any longer.
He shoved her back against the tree roughly, bracing his hands on her hips and taking a half-step closer. She felt a thick mass move between her legs and his hand slipped down between her thighs, his fingers gently parting her folds and opening her core for his penetration. She leaned her head back against the tree, sucking in a breath while waiting.
It seemed like an eternity passed before he moved closer, pressing the head of his erection to her entrance. His hips thrust against her, sending a jolt of pain through her lower body as he entered her. The ache only lasted a mere moment, drowned easily by the feel of pressure rubbing slowly against her insides in an agonizingly powerful way. One of his hands stayed on her hip and the other braced the tree beside her head, holding him steady as he started to thrust.
Colors flashed behind her closed eyes as she grit her teeth, the sensations of sex driving her absolutely insane. It was a feeling like no other she could remember experiencing, the wet heat between her legs building more and more. She shifted against the tree, restlessness and apprehension flooding through her as she kicked to remove one of her boots and free that leg from her shorts. Finally, she gripped his shoulders and gave a little hop, wrapping her legs tightly around his hips.
Her back ground against the tree, cutting into her skin and blending the pain and pleasure to a new level of fierce intensity. The pressure was sending blurs of ecstasy through her body and spiking to an all-new high. It was crazy, how intense this feeling was. It burned her core. It ached and seared and scorched, but, at the same time, it felt so good.
Suddenly, the strain gave way and she felt a rush like no other, as if her very life was draining from her body. Her breath clenched in her throat and her fingers dug into his back, gripping with all the strength she possessed. Groans of release and pleasure sounded in her ears, but she couldn't tell which one of them made the sound. It was a moment of blinding bliss, and all she knew for certain was that it felt amazing.
All too quickly, it was over.
And she was left with the sudden realization that she'd just had sex with Kain. The man who told her he loved her, and who'd forced her against her will just a mere week and a half ago. It was so wrong. Yet…
Yet this had felt so right.
Had she been some sort of slut before she'd lost her memories? The brief bits she could remember didn't seem to point that way at all. And she hadn't felt any sort of familiarity when Kain had entered her. It was all new. Was it… Was it possible that she might just return his feelings? Was it possible that she loved him back?
She shook her head, dropping back down to reality in a sudden rush when his weight leaned against her, his forehead touching hers. Whatever this meant, she doubted it was over.
…
They walked back into camp, clothes soaked from lying in the snow. Lightning had even grabbed a handful of the slush and rubbed it through her hair to cool down, so now her hair was soaked beyond that of the sweat. Her clothes were clinging to her skin, and it took everything in her to avoid shivering.
Kain had placed his armor back into position and his helmet hid any sight of sweaty hair or mischievous eyes. His lips stayed in a near-permanent smirk, but as they approached the Warrior, he chalked it up to amusement.
The cover story they'd gone with was that the snow bank had hidden a patch of ice and Light had slipped on it without realizing, tumbling down a hill and wound up cutting her arms before stopping in the snow. It was all they could think of to explain why she was soaking wet and had cuts showing on the backs of her shoulders. The version she wanted to tell involved her shoving Kain down the hill, then slipping on the ice and falling, but he hadn't appeared as damp. So they went with her falling, and him skidding to the snow when he gave chase.
Luckily, the Warrior was very ignorant when it came to reading human emotion.
He was excellent about figuring out when someone was lying, but they supposed he just didn't have a reason to not believe them. After all, why would they lie about falling over? What could they be covering up that he would think of?
So when Light dropped down into the snow-cleared clearing and threw a fire spell onto the branches the Warrior had gathered without a word, he hadn't commented. Instead, he moved automatically to keep his wet ally from falling ill. He had immediately shed his armor and wordlessly settled next to her to offer body warmth.
She wasn't sure how to feel about that, but was even more confused when Kain dropped down on her other side, his armor also removed. Once again, she sat between two incredibly handsome men with her brain even more confused than before. She'd just had sex with one of them, and the other was sitting awfully close for mere friends. The Warrior had made a pass at her before, when she'd threatened to gut them alive if they invaded her personal space.
What was a girl to do?
…
Two days later, Lightning found herself roaming the trees with the Warrior. He was as rigid and stiff as ever, back straight and head high. She wondered how heavy that helmet was sometimes. It couldn't be light, not with all that decoration and those horns. Shaking her head, she decided to ignore him and instead focus on the hunt for manikins.
"Claire."
She turned with a scowl towards him and snapped, "Lightning."
He frowned, glancing up at the treetops while musing, "Why?"
She stopped in her tracks and sheathed her weapon, crossing her arms. "Why what?"
"Why use a name that is not your own?"
She shrugged. She couldn't honestly remember why she'd called herself 'Lightning,' but she knew she had a reason. She knew her name was Claire, but she also knew it was a name to be discarded. "Because I didn't choose that name."
"Isn't an identity something usually retained from memory? Something that grows with you and represents all that you are, saint or sin?"
"I don't honestly remember. But for what I do, Claire is not something I want to be associated with. It's a name that I got rid of, and apparently for a reason."
"Hm. I can only imagine."
She stopped, just realizing who she was talking to. "Oh… right. No wonder."
When he remained silent, she leaned back against a tree and shook away the thoughts of what she and Kain had done two days ago. "You know, I chose a new identity because I didn't like that one I had. Maybe you should think about choosing one for yourself."
A slight smile fell on his lips as he shook his head and took a few steps forward to stand with his back towards her. "I have considered it. However, I cannot. All around me, the others are regaining their memories piece by piece. I have not recalled a single shard beyond a vision of crystal blue. I could take another name, if only temporary, but I fear it would repress any memories that may yet surface."
She nodded slowly, absorbing the words he was saying before replying. "Maybe it's a good thing you forgot. Maybe you had a horrible life and this amnesia thing saved you. Maybe you were a murderer or a slave handler."
He shook his head. "I don't believe so. Cosmos has only called the warriors most beneficial to her cause. I don't think either of those would meet her requirements."
"Unless you were a loyal knight, doing whatever your king wanted, regardless of the horror and Cosmos saw you as a warrior who would fulfill whatever duty was asked of him, no matter how bloody or wrong."
"Lightning, you are only serving to fill me with a greater fear."
"Sorry," she mumbled immediately. It was an automatic response, one that held no meaning, but was said for the mere formality. Shaking her head, she attempted to change the subject and said, "So, what were you going to say?"
He finally turned to face her and reached his gloved hand to rub lightly at his neck. "I can't seem to recall."
She wasn't sure what else to say. She had stepped onto sensitive ground and knew she needed to fix it somehow. She was stuck in this place with only him and Kain as her allies and things were already awkward and unusual with the other man. She couldn't afford to have the Warrior be uncomfortable around her.
Swallowing her spit, she glanced around the clearing while trying to think of something to say. "So… You've never seen snow, either, huh?"
He smiled, so serene and clear that she knew she was already forgiven for her blunder. Shaking his head, he replied, "I haven't. This is a new experience for me as well."
"It's cold and impossible."
"Just like you."
She glared, the notion of being compared to the precipitation bothering her for reasons she couldn't explain. Still he smiled, humored, and she snapped, "What do you mean by that?"
"I meant no ill will, Lightning. A mere jest."
She scoffed, turning away with her arms crossed. If it wasn't Kain poking at her with mockery, it was the Warrior. Did she have to wind up with these two? Even Squall would have been an improvement. All he'd do is sit alone and toss a fire spell for warmth. No comments from him. The silence sounded so nice right now.
To add onto everything, she was still trying to figure out where she stood with Kain. It was a confusing process. She figured he'd want an answer when they did their next scout the following day, but she had no idea what to say. She was still peeved over his method of choice for approaching her, but she couldn't deny that the sex had felt amazing. But then there was the whole 'I love you' thing… What to do about that?
She didn't suppose he'd be willing to have a purely sexual relationship. He didn't seem like that kind of guy. Plus the fact that he had already confessed his feelings. She couldn't just ask him to ignore that, could she?
"Lightning?"
She glanced up, remembering that she was still doing her rounds with the Warrior. "Yeah?"
He hesitated for a long moment before finally saying, "I owe you an apology."
Eh? She raised an eyebrow. "For what?"
"For my behavior upon awakening in this predicament. I took advantage of my unconscious state and I made you uncomfortable. I apologize."
That. Right. Lightning nodded, trying her best to remove the memory of two men right next to her at the same time. "Uh, yeah. Apology accepted."
"I am grateful," he said. He stayed silent for a moment again, his eyes averting to stare into the distance as if contemplating what to say next.
She turned to continue their trek, muttering, "So…"
He nodded once to affirm his thoughts and said, "I acted outside of my allotted level of comfort, and for that, I am sorry. However, the fact remains that I…"
She blinked, not at all certain as to where he was going with this. She just prayed he wasn't-
"I have held fancy for you for as long as my shattered memory permits."
Well, shit. Now, on top of trying to figure out where she stood with Kain, she now had the Warrior confessing his feelings for her. He was polite and respectable about approaching her, though, and for that he deserved at least an answer. But how to answer? There was the classic 'could I have time to think it over,' but that seemed a touch too cliché. Not that she really cared about cliché, but she wanted to be sincere.
He deserved that much, right?
She sucked in a breath, her mind running in circles of how to respond. She was involved with Kain, right? She shouldn't start with the Warrior. She shouldn't tamper with his heart like that. It was just cruel to do something like that and she didn't want to be on the giving end of a relationship like that.
But wait…
She wasn't really in a relationship with Kain. They'd had sex, but that was about it. She hadn't responded to his admission and she'd never told him anything to indicate she would. Granted, the actual act of agreeing to have sex would probably be something of an admission, but it wasn't to her. The moment was that of pure rush, no romance or love behind it. It was empty.
But, on the other hand, she was stuck on a journey with both Kain and the Warrior. Would it be wise to deny one and accept the other? It would probably be a smart thing to push both away and continue on as friends, right? She couldn't honestly say she was particularly attracted to either one of them. Yes, they were both handsome, but she didn't get that rumored spark when she looked at them.
She couldn't recall ever being in love, but she didn't feel special when she saw them. She saw her friends and allies who happened to be good looking. From the bank of common sense that had stuck with her, she assumed love would leave you feeling… something.
But, no, she had nothing. No spark, no racing heart, no shortness of breath. Those were all things that seemed to be associated with love, but nothing fit.
So what could she do?
She only had one choice, really.
"Shall we continue, then?"
She glanced up and gave a short nod. "Yeah, sure. Highwind's probably wondering what's taking so long."
Throughout the rest of the way back, they stayed silent, the only sound being their footsteps crunching in the snow. The sight of the X-slashed tree came into sight, marking the end of their full-circle patrol and she stopped, calling out for his ears only, "Hey. About back there…" She paused, collecting her thoughts, before finishing, "I don't think you're a bad person, you know?"
He smiled lightly and took a few steps to close the gap between them from a few yards to a few feet. "Thank you, Lightning. It is a relief to hear you say such a thing."
She managed a short nod and moved to walk past him, pausing as his hand brushed gently against the back of hers. She stood still, keeping her eyes forward and focused on that X in the tree over his shoulder, even as his fingers curled slightly to fit around hers.
"Thank you, Lightning."
…
Lightning laid back on the dirt, her hands behind her head and her eyes staring at the trees above. Another three nights had come and gone, and the terrain around them had gradually shifted from snowy to relatively dry. Dirt and grass now covered the ground with a few patches of melting snow here and there, making the journey much more comfortable for her. Despite the occasional skirmish with manikins, their adventure was considerably smooth.
It was morning and she waited as the Warrior and Kain replaced their armor after the night of keeping warm. She'd tried to do as much thinking as she could. She couldn't explain it, but ever since the Warrior had taken her hand, she had felt a slight flutter in her stomach, almost as if she was nervous about something. She wondered if, possibly, this feeling was the start of something mildly intimate.
During her evening alone as she set up camp and the men scouted, she had come to terms and decided it was such a feeling. She had managed to talk herself into discussing it with the Warrior and see what happened.
The following day, when she explored with Kain, she found herself pinned to the ground with hungry lips roaming her naked flesh. She couldn't even remember what had led to them winding up like that. All she knew was that she never got to tell him what she'd wanted about her not wanting to pursue a relationship with him.
She closed her eyes in annoyance and let her head fall back to the ground. How could she behave that way? What part of her was so insensitive that she would toy with two men's feelings at the same time? She didn't even want Kain's feelings. The Warrior… She was willing to try. Or at least talk about it. She had to admit, this feeling she'd started to develop was actually kind of pleasant. It was confusing and flabbergasting, but it felt nice at the same time.
Where Kain was concerned, the feeling was completely different. It wasn't that gentle little buzz in her stomach. It was a harsh fire blazing through her blood and driving her to dig into him, let him serve to release her stress and scratch his skin in frustration. It was… It was the total opposite of what she felt around the Warrior.
One was sweet and gentle and treated her far more delicately than she'd like. The other was rough and demanding of her, wanting her as his own and didn't seem to have a problem with not knowing how she felt about him.
Quite frankly, she was staring to get a little sick of this. She needed to talk to them both when she was alone with them, but her only real time for that was during patrols at night. For now, she'd have to endure during the daylight. Tonight, she'd talk to the Warrior.
…
"What do you feel when you look at me?"
She had no idea how to start the conversation. She had no inkling of where to begin, what to say, or what would even be safe to say. So she did what anyone in her position would do and let her mouth say whatever came to her.
The Warrior stopped in his tracks a few paces ahead of her and slowly turned to look at her with confusion on his face. "Pardon?"
There came that feeling of awkwardness. She turned to glance down at her boots, wondering why she was even bothering in the first place. It'd be easier to ignore him, right? But… something stopped her from avoiding the subject. Something inside her wanted to know the outcome. "You said you liked me, right? What does something like that feel like?"
A slow sigh sounded from somewhere beyond her vision and footsteps approached, unmistakable with the clanking of his armor. He hesitated for a long moment before finally saying, "It… is difficult to explain. It is something of a conglomeration of emotion. When I look at you, I feel as if a heavy weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel as though I am incapable of losing a fight. I feel as if you are the reason I have lived this long."
That wasn't quite what she felt, but she did feel lighter.
"Though as soon as you meet my gaze, my boastful tastes seem to disappear and I'm left feeling as if you know this. As if… As if you know how vulnerable I feel and suddenly I am afraid that you'll use this against me."
He… was afraid of her? Not literally speaking, of course. And yet… That was the part of his description she could most relate to. She was afraid. Maybe not of him having access to her most private thoughts, but she was afraid. Afraid of opening up and risking that trust being broken.
However, when she finally lifted her chin and met his eyes, she knew he wouldn't. He wouldn't break that trust if she let him take it. He would care for her, perhaps more than she wanted.
She wanted…?
She wanted to be alone and to not have to deal with romance during a war. She wanted to be able to focus solely on the goal at hand and not worry about what love meant. And yet, she couldn't stop herself as she slowly leaned closer and pressed a small, chaste kiss to his lips.
He reacted by not reacting, instead letting her do as she pleased to explore her feelings. Only after she pulled back and glanced into his aquamarine eyes did she start to feel the pounding of her heart thrumming in her ears. Without her permission, her fingers slowly rose and settled delicately on his cold armor, directly above his heart. It was a slow and agonizing moment, and it took everything inside her to keep the eye contact and stay put.
Oh, how she wanted to run. She wanted to hide her face from the world. She wanted to be anywhere but here. But she couldn't. She couldn't move as his hand gripped one of the horns of his helm and pulled to remove it, letting his silver hair spill across his shoulders. He kept it in one hand, his crystal-clear gaze settled on hers, and reached the other to touch her chin. Gently, he guided her lips back to his, sealing them together as his eyes snapped shut.
This was far different from what she felt with Kain. This kiss… it was pure and sweet, tasting of ice and cool stone. It was pleasant, chaste, and delicate. Far from the rough and hungry kisses she experienced during her time alone with Kain. Those were fueled by fire and need, tasting of harsh winds and sweat.
She had to admit, despite the rush of the sex with Kain, this kiss with the Warrior was much more pleasing.
She was certain she'd made her choice.
…
Hot lips trailed along her neck, pushing back the open collar of her sweater as she struggled to catch her breath. One hand fondled her breast and another slid between her legs, forcing her to bite down on her lip to try to keep her head. "Kain…" she breathed.
When he didn't relent, she shifted a little to try to throw him off and managed with a little more force, "Kain, stop."
He groaned a slight sound of distaste, then finally murmured against her neck, "Now you want to talk?"
She may have deserved that, but it didn't stop her from shoving him off of her and glaring as she pulled her bra back into place. "Look, what's going on here, it's not right."
He wisely moved to pick up his shirt, but didn't put it on right away. "I agree, though I assumed this was how you had wanted it."
Lightning pulled roughly at her clothes, fixing them back into place, and turned away from him. "Look, this… Whatever this is between us, it's not-"
"-Proper? Is that what you'll say?" His hand touched her shoulder and turned her around to face him, his violet eyes burning into hers. "If this is the only way I can be near you, I'll gladly pay the price in hell. The feeling I get when I am near to you is strong enough to tear the heavens asunder. If you'll deny me reciprocation, then at least let me do what I can for you."
She blinked. He was only continuing this falsified relationship because he wanted to be near her? That should have come across as wrong, somehow. That he'd be willing to lie to himself everyday just to be able to kiss her should have been wrong on so many levels. But she couldn't bring herself to hate him for it. For shoving her against a tree and kissing her without permission, yes, but for wanting nothing but to be near his heart's desire…
She was slowly learning how important that was.
She wouldn't go so far as to say she loved the Warrior, but she did care for him on some level. She was unsettled and possibly a bit angry at Kain, but she couldn't hate him for wanting to be near someone he loved. But she couldn't keep going like this. She couldn't. She didn't feel anything for him. That would be crueler than continuing to have empty sex with him.
"Lightning, I know you loathe me, but if you'll let me, I want nothing more than to see you happy."
Happy? What would make her happy? Did Kain honestly think this sex was making her happy? All this empty fire, this rush of blinded passion? It meant nothing. It was a release from the norm. The act of two lonely people trying to find a moment of freedom in a world dictated by the darkness of war.
She needed to tell him that this wouldn't make her happy, and she needed to do it soon. "Kain, look-"
"I have made mistakes, I know. I have done things that I am not proud of, and I have regained enough of my memory to know blood stains my hands crimson. I am a foolhardy man, no home or dreams to call my own, but if I can do any one thing to please you, I will be content."
Lightning balked at that. There was no denying his sincerity. One look in his eyes told her that much, but how could she-
Why was she even thinking about this? She had already decided to try dating the Warrior. She couldn't see both of them at once. That would be even worse than telling him off. A part of her was sure he knew she'd deny him. But a larger part told her he was praying to Cosmos and any other gods that might exist that she'd say it was okay. But how could she? How could she accept him when she'd already told the Warrior she wanted to try exploring this feeling with him?
Before she could say a word, his hand touched her chin lightly and tipped her lips towards his. He didn't connect, but paused right before her and whispered, "I love you, Lightning."
Shit.
…
That night, during her turn for watch, she sat on a fallen log with her Blazefire in reach and her eyes scanning the trees. The positive side to a manikin was that they were really easy to spot in the dark with their crystalline flesh. The campfire reflected off of them before you could blink. So she did an occasional sweep of the perimeter, glancing for the monstrosities, but then turned her focus back to the two men lying back-to-back. Though the snow had melted by now, the weather was still chilly and required the use of body heat at night.
Lightning sat still while watching the two of them sleep. They were both incredibly handsome men. Kain's face was sharper and more pointed, making him look almost delicate. The Warrior was a bit more rounded, but still very firm and good-looking.
On one hand, Kain was bold and forward. He got straight to the point, diving deep to the heart of the matter. He knew what he wanted and he fought hard to get it. He was by no means a lazy man, and though he'd been harsh at first, had shown her earlier that night that he loved her and cherished her. She had wanted to shove him away, but she couldn't bring herself to hurt him like that. Though, in the end, he had told her he didn't want to continue their empty sex, and vowed to end it until he could prove his sincerity.
On the other hand, the Warrior had been the purest epitome of formality, even going as far as kissing her hand in greeting as soon as they were alone. It was old-fashioned and too dainty for her tastes, but, for some reason, the notion had sent the butterflies in her stomach to a crazy flutter. It was unsettling, how childish and giddy that made her feel.
She was rather certain that she preferred the Warrior, but whenever that bastard Kain opened his mouth, she felt more and more guilty of trying to push him away. But when she was alone with the Warrior, she felt guilty of not ending it with Kain. How could she be feeding the affections of both men?
How did she wind up in this predicament to begin with?
To the best of her knowledge, she had never pursued a romantic relationship. So why, now of all times, did she suddenly have two men unwittingly vying for her love? It was absurd. She should just turn them both away and continue on as if this whole fiasco never happened.
And yet…
As she watched them both sleep, she somehow knew she couldn't. She couldn't do it to either of them, let alone both. But she couldn't keep seeing them both, either. She released a groan of annoyance and dropped her head to her knees, grumbling, "You two are jerks."
…
Lightning swung her Blazefire, slicing the manikin copy of Bartz clean in half. The useless dolls didn't bleed, but only sent the smallest of crystal shards sailing through the air in a shower of glitter. It made her sick; that such beings that wore their faces existed. She turned on her heel, slicing upwards and throwing a Ruinga towards the incoming Tifa.
Somewhere behind her, flashes of light echoed in her peripheral vision as the Warrior did his own battle with more of the manikins. From the sounds of it, he was cutting them down as easily as she was. A little ways in front of her, a flash of violet crashed down from the sky as Kain finished his signature Jump, sending out a shockwave large enough to throw the approaching reinforcements to the ground and injure or kill several of them.
The beings weren't difficult to fight. There were just a lot of them. The three Warriors of Cosmos were finding their trip through a gateway to be an unwanted distraction. From what Lightning could tell, the other two were eager to return to their allies and get the war over with already. Of course, she wanted it to end, too, but she was also constantly distracted by the two men breathing down her neck.
Though Kain had taken the literal meaning out of that term over the past few days.
Since he'd turned over and started to actually add conversation and romance to their relationship, the sex between them had come to a stop. She hadn't yet been able to tell him she was done with him, but she did want to know he really was in it for her, and not for the physical. Yes, she did find she was missing the intercourse and more than she'd like to admit. But, deep down, she knew it was a test for her, too. Did she really have feelings for Kain, or was she just in it for the sex?
She honestly didn't know, but she wanted to. She wanted to understand how deep her feelings for either man went and she wanted to be able to choose the right one. So she continued to see them both without the other knowing and had so far been successful. When she was alone with either one of them, they tended to take advantage of it. Some nights, it was a simple trek through the woods with laced fingers, while others it was far more intimate with locked lips and roaming hands.
She hadn't yet seen the Warrior without his clothes, and she was starting to wonder if maybe it was time she did. A part of her wondered if maybe she was just in the whole thing for sex, and now that Kain was resisting, she had subconsciously started to look elsewhere. But another part knew she wasn't, and that she just wanted an end to all the confusion. She wanted to know how things felt when she was completely intimate with the Warrior, to know if he was indeed the one she should stay with.
It felt so wrong to be considering this when she was still seeing Kain, yet she knew she was already in so much trouble if either of them found out. Would it kill her to try taking it one step further? She had already coupled with Kain, after all.
She sighed, closing her eyes for a brief moment as she sliced through a Squall manikin. This mess was so confusing. She was in so deep into this that she just wanted it to end. She should talk to them and explain to them both what was going on, apologize and tell them she couldn't choose. It would be the fair thing to do, right?
A part of her was concerned, though. They were both from old-fashioned worlds, their armor a medieval style. She was mildly worried that the 'honor' part from that era might win through and they would end up in a duel of sorts. Their allies were limited enough. She didn't want for one of them to end up dead because she couldn't keep her head straight.
So she'd keep going with her current plan and kept getting to know them both. She'd make her decision when she was sure she'd chosen the right one. It was just a matter of keeping it a secret from them both.
But what if one of them tried to move closer to her during camp?
She switched her paradigm to Ravager and tossed an array of different magicks towards a small crowd of Vaan's and Firion's, blasting them to crystal fragments. Suddenly, the answer came to her. She could make a bullshit excuse about keeping their relationship a secret while it was just the three of them. She wouldn't want one man to feel left out because she was now romantic with the other one, right? Besides, it wasn't their business what they did with their free time.
She hoped they would buy it.
…
She walked through the woods, vaguely swinging her Blazefire and absently wondering if there was ever going to be an end to these trees. The cliff was still ever-present to their right, giving a clear direction of which way to go, but she was both thankful for and sick of the trees. She was glad they were there to offer privacy when she went out to scout for manikins with one of the guys, but deep down longed for new scenery. At least the snow was a few days behind them at this point.
Tonight, she did her rounds with the Warrior, walking near to him with their fingers brushing at the occasional sway of hands. He wore his shield on his back and his sword in its sheath to allow for an open hold. His every movement when alone with her had been a little awkward and uncertain, as if he wasn't sure quite how to treat a girlfriend of sorts. Though, by now, he had warmed up to her and had started to at least smile comfortably around her, even if they didn't speak much.
Slowly, he reached both hands up and pulled his helmet from his head and paused in his steps to carefully observe the velvet lining. He hesitated for a long moment before saying anything, almost as if uncertain he should speak at all. But, finally, he said, "What do suppose are our odds of victory?"
Lightning turned slightly to face him and placed a hand on her side. This wasn't like the Warrior at all. He never seemed to question anything, just constantly moving forward while believing the light would bring them their victory if they strived hard enough. She'd never seen him balk for anything, with the exception of dealing with romance. "I'd be lying if I said it was a sure win."
He released a heavy sigh and slowly shifted to sit on a log, gently placing his helmet on the ground by his feet. "Do you mind if we take a moment to talk?"
She shook her head and moved to release the buckles on her holster so she could sit next to him. "What's on your mind?"
"I have my doubts. This war, as you say, will not be an easy victory. Our opponents are far more powerful than we, and though we outnumber them, they have the manikins at their beck and call."
She crossed her arms and stared straight ahead. "True, but the manikins are nothing. We can kill them without breaking a sweat. It'd only be if there were monstrous amounts of them with no end that they could take us down."
"They are puppets, and a puppet is only as dangerous as its master deems. If the manikins are used against us properly, they could cause a critical amount of damage to our ranks."
"Well, I'm sure there's a reason why they haven't yet. Maybe it's too hard to control that many manikins or something. I mean, I know our enemies aren't stupid. Insane, yes. Stupid, no. Even the muscleheads like that Garland and Cloud seem to have a pretty good grasp on things. But the same could be said for our team. I mean, just look at Jecht and Squall. They come across as all talk, but they pull through as valuable allies."
He nodded slowly, mulling her words over. "I know, but it doesn't change that our odds are-"
She decided not to let him wander in his thoughts anymore, but she wasn't all that sure of what she could say. So she said nothing, and instead leaned closer and pressed her lips to his in a soothing kiss, tugging on his arm to pull him closer to her.
He reacted in mild shock, the kiss being completely unexpected, before raising his opposite hand to cup her cheek and kiss her back. It was a slow and passionate exchange, an alleviating action to ease the Warrior's discomforts and uncertainties of the war. It was nothing in the grand scheme of things, but it served as a temporary distraction.
Perhaps, even more, it provided a reassurance to guide him from his doubts permanently. The simple deed was a brand upon his lips to remind him that he was not alone. Their battles would be fought together and, no matter the responsibilities he took as leader, she would stand beside him. She would assist with his burden, just as he could assist with hers.
Neither one of them was accustomed to leaning on another, but they were learning. They were falling into something deeper than understanding permitted, and they were sharing it together. Though their knowledge of the subject was beyond minimal, they both had the desire to learn. They would know what it meant to love, even if it cost them their pride.
Lightning shifted to move closer, ignoring the scuff of the tree bark on her legs, and wrapped both arms across his shoulders around his armor so she could pull closer. The Warrior's left hand stayed on her cheek, while the right moved to settle at the base of her spine and hold her close. The level of intimacy between them should have been a herald of what was to come, but neither was willing to see it.
She shifted to sit across his lap and pulled back from the kiss before murmuring, "Can you take off your armor?"
He nodded once, standing as she climbed off of him and first pulled the brooch of his cape. The yellow sheet fell from his back to drape across the log where he'd been sitting and, while he pulled at the clasps to his pauldrons, she reached out and took his cape, slowly lifting it to her nose to sniff it. It smelled of spearmint and earth, making her think of the cold passages they'd passed through not all that long ago.
Ice and cool climates were things she found herself associating with the Warrior. He was an aloof character to begin with, an attitude that often came off as cold and uncaring. He was anything but, and would often charge headlong into the fray if it meant saving an ally. It was a quality she respected, but wasn't sure she could pull off. Could she really be so selfless?
She lifted her chin to see him watching her curiously, his breastplate removed and placed on the ground. He still wore the tassets and greaves, but paused to watch her as she inhaled the scent of his cape. She said nothing, but only shot him an unapologetic look and wrapped the cloth over her shoulders to keep it close as she tugged her gloves off.
He could have said something, but he chose not to and instead pulled the buckle to his belt that held his tassets in place and removed the heavy-looking plates to lay them beside his cuirass. She had never known how much weight or how many pieces there were to a full set of armor. She had never watched the men remove or replace their armor and only now observed as he removed another belt with the plates protecting the front and back of his waist and thighs.
When only his greaves and sabatons remained, he moved to sit beside her and pulled at the well-hidden buckles to remove them and placed them down beside his helm. He turned to look at her, dressed only in his black shirt and pants and his beige-colored skirts. It was far from the first time she'd seen him without his armor, but, for a reason she couldn't explain, it felt like the first. In all the weeks they'd been travelling together and though she'd seen him dressed like this before, she had never truly realized how well-defined his abdominal muscles were through his skin-tight shirt.
She felt her throat turn dry and quickly brought her eyes back to his, unsure of what to say or do. For once, he seemed much more comfortable in their situation than she, and he reached out to lift her, cape and all, to settle on his lap leaned in quickly to kiss her.
The cape fell from her shoulder as she settled one hand on the back of his head to pull closer, gripping loosely at his fine hair. She hadn't been this close to him without his armor and she knew for a fact that this could end in one of two ways. Either they would kiss for another short moment and part again, or they would connect in a way never before explored between the two of them.
Lightning had personally hoped for the latter.
Her free hand smoothed over his chest and the firm muscle under his thin shirt as her tongue moved between his lips. She wanted this moment to be gentle and pleasing, so she could feel it for all it was and not just the pure rush like with Kain. Her fingers slipped into the back of his collar and she felt him shudder under her at the cool touch, eliciting a low moan from deep in her throat.
This was exactly where she wanted to be. At this very moment, nothing seemed more important. His hand on her cheek slipped down, ghosting over her shoulder and down her bare arm. Goosebumps rose of their own accord and it took everything in her to avoid biting her own tongue. Strong fingers glided under her elbow to touch lightly at the buckle to her belt. She couldn't help it. She shivered. It was beyond her expectations that he might want this, too.
So she shifted slightly to allow him a more comfortable approach and raised both hands to settle around his shoulders. One of his hands stayed on her back as he deftly pulled her belt buckle free, letting the brown strap fall to the ground by his feet. She pulled back from the kiss and moved, altering her position on his lap to straddle his hips.
Her right hand stayed on the back of his neck, cupping the nape gently as she leaned closer to kiss him again. Her left palm ran over his chest before gingerly fisting in the black fabric of his worn shirt. He pulled at the lower two buckles to her jacket, leaving only one more before he could remove it from her. After a slight hesitation, he released the last one and slipped his hand to her cheek, letting the jacket fall open.
The kiss felt warm and pleasant, yet still sent her to a fevered state of desire. She wasn't lost and hungry as she was with Kain, but left feeling tight and warm, yet empty and longing at the same time. She wanted to feel complete. She wanted him to complete her, and she wanted him to want to do so.
He pulled away from the kiss, but only slightly and she could still feel his breath on her lips. Quietly, he whispered, "No, we shouldn't…"
She felt her heart skip a beat and bit down the urge to shove him off the log and kiss him again. "You're kidding me."
He shook his head slowly. "This isn't…"
She leaned slightly forward, touching her forehead against his. "We could die tomorrow and you're saying we shouldn't let our feelings get the best of us?"
He seemed to pause for a moment, then shuddered slightly as his emotions took ahold of him. His lips were back on hers before she could speak again and one hand was shoving her jacket from her shoulders before locking against her lower back, holding her to him snugly. She shivered lightly as his fingers grazed against her bare lumbar, sending a chill through her blood. His other hand touched at the back of her knee, offering support as he shifted somewhat awkwardly to stand, still holding her to him.
She inhaled a deep breath as they parted again, the kiss broken by the new difference in heights as he lifted her in front of him. Leaning her head back, she arched her back as he pressed kisses to her chin and upper neck around her collar. It was pure delight. She felt so ready to give herself to him and just wished he would take her already.
She couldn't hold back as a slight yelp of surprise slipped passed her lips as he shifted, dropping to his knees and gently placing her to the ground. He was braced above her, kneeling between her parted thighs, and she felt her stomach clench even further as he stayed still, gazing into her eyes. The look alone was enough to send her over the edge, but she knew it would never be enough to sate her. Yes, this was much more intimate than with Kain, but she still wanted to find release.
She reached out, slipping one hand behind his neck and lacing the other with one of his. He glanced to their joined fingers and gingerly brought her hand to his lips, placing a light kiss on her palm before turning back her. He moved forward, supporting himself on his free hand, and pressed his lips to hers again. A moan found its way from her throat and she let her hand drift down from his neck and along his side, finally stopping at the tie holding his skirts in place. It took her only a short moment before she freed it and let them fall to the ground behind him.
Their lips remained locked as she shifted, bracing her feet more strongly against the ground, and lifted her hips to press her still-clothed lower body to his. She rolled her hips twice, delighting in the sounds of exasperation he released at the contact. How could he have tried to talk her out of this? He clearly wanted this as much as she did.
She pulled back, letting her head and hips drop back to the dirt as she reached up and pulled the zipper to her sweater and shifted slightly to get it off. He stared with a mix of shock, desire, and fear written on his face and she felt rather strongly in assuming he'd never been with a woman like this before. Her bra followed her sweater, winding up somewhere to her left, and she reached up and pulled him to her again, kissing him with all she had.
Still he was awkward about touching her, so she slipped her hand around his wrist and moved his hand to settle on her breast. Her brand screamed for the attention, the surge of power deep within her longing for the touch of his fingers and lips. She did her best to remain calm and guide his hand to touching her just right, how to squeeze to send that jolt of electricity through her blood.
She let go of his hand to let him experiment on his own, and quickly gripped her hands into his shirt as he fondled her in a way that made her buck her hips and gasp in pleasure. Slowly, his other hand moved to her other breast and she leaned her head back, arching her spine and raising her chest closer to him. Her hands folded in his shirt pulled, lifting the fabric from his waist and tugging it towards his head to get it off.
He obliged, letting go of one breast at a time to let it off his torso and immediately resumed exploring her body once it was discarded. Her eyes were closed as she inhaled sharp breaths and now fisted one hand in the grass and the other in his long hair. He leaned closer, cupping either hand on her breasts as he captured her lips with his, bowing down to cover her body with his.
Her hand slipped down between them, reaching for the zipper of her skirt. She wanted to feel him inside her and know that this was right. Her experience with sex was minimal, but something deep down told her the knowledge would help in her decision. One of his hands slipped away from her breast and slid down her body, settling on her hand and squeezing lightly before moving to take the zipper from her. She shifted to place her palm on his side, gently smoothing over the taut muscle as he unzipped her skirt for her.
Still her shorts and his pants were in the way and she knew they needed to go. A quick shuffle against the soft dirt had her free of her shorts and she gripped the waistband of his trousers before tugging once, pulling them down to his knees.
He braced against the soil and rolled to his left, placing her on top and kicking his pants off completely. She had to admit that he was certainly warming up to her and she knew that was mostly due to their situation and heightened senses. Pulling back slightly, she climbed away from him and removed her boots and shorts, leaving her completely bare to him and him to her.
This was it. No going back.
She inhaled a deep breath and settled over him again, shifting to roll back to the bottom. It was supposed to be like this, right? She honestly didn't know, but she wanted him to be on top for reasons she couldn't explain. Smoothing her hands over his bare chest, she slipped her fingers down to graze along his erect member.
A sharp inhale sounded somewhere above her and she truly had to wonder just how little experience he had with his own body. Was it so wrong to assume he'd at least know how a butterfly-light touch would feel? It didn't really matter. She reached up, gently cupping his chin and pulling his lips back to hers. She wanted to murmur his name for his ears only, but knew he had no name to whisper.
Breaking the kiss, she whispered instead, "I'm ready when you are."
He hesitated only for a moment, then moved closer to kiss her again. She moaned in delight as he moved closer, gently easing himself towards her opening. It took everything in her to let him come at his snail's pace instead of moving up to meet him, but she forced herself to stay put and let him come, doing what she had to and waiting for him.
She would wait as long as she had to for him.
She… She loved him.
At least, she wanted to believe she did. If only while trapped in this world and while forced to fight a war that wasn't hers, she wanted to feel she could rely on another. Now that she was exposed to this feeling, she couldn't imagine being without it. Something deep inside told her they would all go their separate ways after this battle was over, but she almost didn't want to believe it. She wanted to stay with him.
Finally, at long last, he slowly pushed into her. Her breath left her in a sharp gasp and she moved her hands to grip at his shoulders and hair, clinging for an anchor while giving her hips an experimental roll. He grunted against her lips and moved with her, shifting his hips back to thrust down into her.
It took a few trial thrusts to get the right feel, but as he struck against her insides just right, she couldn't help the short scream that echoed between their lips. It was his cue to keep that pace, and, gradually, the pressure built inside of her and threatened to crush her sanity. Her lips pressed hard enough to bruise, but she couldn't bring herself to care. It didn't matter. Not now, not ever.
The rotations between them sent both to further madness, driving their need to release to an urgent zenith. At long last, they broke together and she dropped back to lie in the dirt as she came, relishing in the feel of his discharge deep within her. It was pleasure of the highest caliber and nothing could change her mind on that.
Above her, he rolled to his side so they were still facing each other, shifting to wrap his arms around her and holding her close. No words were said, as none were needed. They stayed together, embracing each other, and she shifted to nestle against the crook of his neck. The small patch of grass smelled of sweat and sex, but she couldn't care. She just wanted to be with him.
…
Nearly a week later, Lightning wandered the woods with Kain, wondering how much longer this mess could possibly go on for. The cliff above them was gradually coming closer, meaning they must be nearing the point where their paths would cross. But for now, she was lost trying to decide between the two men. It was a task she'd never asked for and really did not want to deal with.
"It shouldn't be long before we reunite with the others."
She turned slightly to look at him, finding him stock-still, his helmet at his side, and one hand raised to shield his eyes from the burning light of sunset. His long hair spilled down his back and over his shoulders, making her pause to reconsider him. He was definitely handsome and, by now, she'd long forgiven him for his rough behavior. It was something in the past and he'd apologized. Things were different now.
Besides, she never was one to live in the past.
She thought.
She shook her head. The past didn't matter, especially when you couldn't remember it. Giving a sigh, she knew deep down that something longed for him. Yes, she had bonded with the Warrior on a deeply intimate level, but something inside her kept her from pushing Kain away. After spending time looking back on their brief relationship, she realized the sex wasn't all there was.
There was something deeper. She'd just been too blind to see it. It wasn't the pure rush of stress relief that had kept her going back to him. It was a link hidden beneath the surface that bonded them as veteran soldiers, friends, and something more.
She sighed. She really didn't want this. She didn't want to realize she cared about Kain. She didn't want to fall for him. She wanted to push him away and be with the Warrior. But, no. She couldn't. Because now, while she was alone with Kain, she wanted to accept him and deny the Warrior. She was so confused and she knew it would never end if she didn't just suck it up and pick one. Or neither.
She couldn't imagine pushing them both away, but how could she possibly choose one over the other?
Kain was, by far, the better at the physical aspect. Personality-wise, he was headstrong, and sometimes didn't realize that a romantic relationship meant opening up. Granted, she could be equally accused of that point. He was aloof and recluse. He came off as cold, but showed a genuinely caring personality underneath. He was a soldier and, as such, willingly fought for all that was important to him. He had some of his memories and knew he hadn't always been the kindest person.
The Warrior was much more of a charmer and always seemed to put her first. He was awkward and clumsy when it came to the actual romance, but he was a good friend and truly cared about her. He, too, was a bit on the silent side, but he was less on the headstrong and more of a tactical thinker. He had absolutely no recollection of his memories, not even his name. He had no idea what sort of man he'd been before coming here.
There were things she liked and couldn't stand about both of them. There were times she wanted to kiss one of them breathless and scream at the other, but then those roles could reverse at any given moment. How could she possibly choose between them?
With a deep breath, she knew she already had. She knew what her answer would be. She knew which one she would choose.
…
"Ultimecia!"
Lightning narrowed her eyes as a Chaos Warrior approached in the flesh, surrounded by all kinds of manikins. It was only her and the man in purple armor beside her, the two separated from their group of sixteen to fight the time witch. She, Kain, and the Warrior had reunited with the rest of their group approximately two weeks after she'd made her choice, and had since then been caught in a trap with only that man at her side.
She swallowed her spit, not entirely certain as to what to expect from a Chaos Warrior. This woman didn't look to be all that impressive, but Light had learned long ago never to judge her foes on appearances. She drew her Blazefire and fell into a comfortable stance back-to-back with the knight behind her before charging.
Ultimecia seemed content on watching as the two of them battled the manikins. Light sliced through one after another, the glittering bits of crystal sailing past in an array of colors. It reminded her of a rainbow, but she couldn't afford to get distracted. Pretty colors of defeated dolls served no purpose. No more than she would if she allowed herself to get cut down now.
A sinister laugh filled the air—obviously Ultimecia, since it wasn't distorted like the manikins' voices—and Lightning snapped up to look in her direction. There, just a few short paces away, the witch hovered with summoned dagger-like spells in front of her. At the sound of her call, they sailed through the battlefield and straight towards the pink-haired soldier.
The manikins surrounded her and left no room for dodging. Her only hope was to deflect them at the last moment. A risky trick, but it was her only option.
She wouldn't be dying today.
She waited, watching as they soared closer, and sliced a manikin approaching from her right. She moved to slice the purple blades as the approached, but froze as a form appeared between herself and them.
"Unh…"
She stared in shock, watching as the violet-clad man stumbled backwards towards her. She caught his shoulders and released a Thundaga to clear out the manikins, slowly moving him to lie down. The pair of magic daggers caught in his armor faded as the spell lost its effect, leaving two bloody cavities to unleash their damage.
Her hands moved to settle his head on her lap as she quickly removed his helmet and altered her paradigm to Medic, pumping Cure after Cure into him. Her heart was racing, her brain not yet having registered what happened.
It was her worst nightmare, to watch as he took a hit for her. Did he have to be that sappy to do something like that? Couldn't he trust her to take care of herself? She pressed one hand over each wound and hissed under her breath, "Idiot!"
A slight smile fell on his lips as he stared up at her. "I couldn't just… watch you…"
She shook her head, silently dismissing his conversation while continuing her barrage of Cures. It wouldn't do any good if he just kept talking and wasted his energy. They could talk later. When he recovered.
"Lightning, I…"
"Shut up!" she snapped, biting her lip and tasting blood as she struggled to keep her spells going. Why couldn't he just get it through his head that he should be quiet?
She stared in shock as an orange glow lit up around him, gently lifting his body from the ground. As she reached out to catch him, his body dissipated into a bright light that sailed upwards. She stood up, watching him go as a few other similar lights filled the night sky.
"Hmph."
She turned sharply to find Ultimecia right behind her and, because she'd dropped her weapon to Cure, switched to Ravager and threw spell after spell towards the witch. The woman flickered through the air, disappearing and reappearing well out of the range of the magic. She walked on her inhuman feet, her arms crossed, and gestured towards the sky to where Lightning's best friend and love had sailed away. "The cycle nears its conclusion. You should be flattered-" She waved a hand, causing more of the magic daggers to appear. "-that you'll see its end by my hand."
The next moment yielded nothing save pain, and the sight of a purple spear tip jutting out through her chest.
The cycle continues.
Whew! Please review!
-Valk