A/N: Drabbles again, inspired by some discussion in the Pairings thread on the SP forum, but a slightly longer multi-drabble this time, so it gets to be its own story. Vile/Darquesse, with a deliberately somewhat open ending.

Needless to say, I'm still not Derek Landy. I just like to put his characters into awkward positions, without any financial gain from it.

Darquesse eyed the figure in black and grinned in anticipation. Lord Vile, her favourite sparring partner – the only worthwhile opponent there was – was back. Destroying the world could wait, for now; fighting the Necromancer had proven to be too much fun in the past.

Besides, she got stronger with every fight they had, stronger and better in keeping her powers under control.

The spikes on his armour flared; this was the signal she had been waiting for. Darquesse covered the distance separating them in a blur and descended on him, the force of her attack pinning him to the ground.

x

Darquesse straddled Vile, making sure he couldn't move. One well-aimed blow, and she could take off his head. Should she? Could she do it before his shadows could rip her apart?

Come to think of it, why weren't his shadows ripping her apart yet? Darquesse loosened her grip for a moment and focused on the body she was wearing. Had she missed anything? Had he slashed her already? Was she in the process of bleeding, slowly, to an agonising death? Was that his new strategy – kill her so that she wouldn't notice it, wouldn't catch it in time to repair?

x

A flash, a blur, and she was the one on the ground now, with Vile on top, the spikes of his armour cutting her flesh. She mended the cuts in the blink of her eye and wrapped her legs around his waist, intent on pushing him away.

Vile tilted his head. She couldn't tell for certain, not with the mask of his armour on the way, but she thought he was looking at her. Really looking at her, and with… She shook her head. Vile? Wanting to…?

Dark shadows swirled around him, reaching out to her, slipping under her clothes.

x

Their coupling was urgent and brutal, brief and yet prolonged, both of them drowning in the delight of mixing ecstasy with torment. The hiss of pain that escaped Vile when Darquesse plunged her hand inside him made her heart sing. Forget about fighting; this was infinitely more fun.

The pools of her blood, glinting and glimmering in the moonlight, surrounding them, didn't bother her. She could always make more, and so she did; her only regret was having to spare a moment of her focus to take care of those trivial matters. Otherwise, it had been perfection; Vile was exquisite.

x

Darquesse blinked, and Valkyrie looked around her, needing a moment to gather her thoughts and remember what happened.

The dark figure next to her pushed himself up on his knees, then stood up. Valkyrie, her eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness, saw the breastplate of Vile's armour on the ground, a good few metres away. Pieces of armour were hanging from Skulduggery's bones, his usually immaculate suit tattered.

Valkyrie looked at herself and winced. Speaking of clothes… Ah yes, there they were.

The memories were flooding back now. She shook her head. She can't have— They can't have—And yet…

x

'Um,' she said.

Skulduggery bent down and picked up her shirt. He examined it for a moment before handing it to her.

'It's a bit ripped,' he said. 'Would you like my jacket? I'm afraid it's not as good as new anymore, but…'

'Yes,' Valkyrie said. 'Thank you. I would.'

She wrapped the jacket around her, feeling a bit less exposed. No less awkward, though.

Skulduggery rubbed his gleaming forehead, looking anywhere but at her. A moment later, he sighed. 'I suppose I should take the blame. I'm the one who is irresistibly sexy, after all.'

'Shut up,' Valkyrie said.

x

They sat in silence for a while. Eventually she let out a loud sigh. 'This is awkward.'

'It is indeed.'

She looked at him, her best friend and partner. 'It was kind of fun though.'

'You think so?'

'I do. Don't you?'

Skulduggery tilted his head. 'It was. But… Aren't you supposed to feel traumatised? Betrayed? Angry?'

She considered this for a moment. 'Surprisingly, no. I mean, it wasn't us. It was them.'

'Vile is a part of me and Darquesse is a part of you.'

'I know. But still.' She stood up. 'We should probably go now.'

'We should.'

x

Valkyrie sank down into the seat and put on her seatbelt before sneaking a glance at him. Skulduggery's gloved hands were gripping the wheel so hard she wondered it didn't shatter.

'We're not going to talk about this again, are we?' she asked after a few minutes' silence.

'No.' He cleared his non-existing throat. 'Unless you think it would be therapeutic?'

She shrugged. She knew she should be feeling more weirded out by what happened – this really wasn't something she'd ever considered doing with Skulduggery – but…

'Nah. I guess you'd prefer to stop the sparring matches, though.'

He stayed silent.