A/N: I know, I'm a terrible person. I haven't written anything in god knows how long. But, alas! I'm here. The fic is based on the song "Moments" by One Direction. If you haven't listen to the song before I implore you to so. It's written by our saviour, Jesus Christ Ed Sheeran and the song is just magnificent. Even if you don't like One Direction, listen to it. It's a brilliant song.
And just a warning, this will be a very angsty and depressing fan-fic.
Also, if you find any grammatical mistakes or mistakes of any kind, please tell me.

This is un-beta-ed so apologies for any spelling mistakes.

I don't own anything. If I did, well let's just say Finchel would be no more.

xXx

Noah Puckerman lay on his bed, crumpled paper in his still shaking hands. Still in his immaculate but simple black suit. He just had to endure the hour and a half of his girlfriend's, the love of his life, the only person who understood him. Her funeral.

Shut the door

Turn the light off

I wanna be with you

I wanna feel your love

I wanna lay beside you

I cannot hide this

Even though I try

He had to endure crying teenagers, pretending they gave two fucks about her. While he stood there, unmoving, his little sister's small hand in his, while she cried into his black dress pants. He didn't know what to do. He didn't want to live without her being next to him. She was going to take Broadway by storm, while he would take the music industry with his badass attitude and his killer voice. What was the point of living when his only reason for living was gone?

When he was first told by Rachel's dads, he didn't know what to do. What did they expect him to do? He was jaded by nature. He never showed anyone his emotions apart from her. He made a silent promise to contain his tears until he was alone.

"She got h-hit by a dr-drunk driver. Swerved on-onto the sidewalk. The doctor's say she died on impact. No pain. No pain, Noah. At least she didn't die in agony." Leroy told him hiccupping.

He didn't fucking care if she died a painless death. She shouldn't have died at all.

"Out of all the people in the world; the pedophiles, rapists and drug dealers, why did she have to die?" He though while talking his anger out on the wall behind his bed.

The only thing the filled his brain was the thought of her mangled body, laying lifeless on the sidewalk, while the stupid fucking drunk driver stood there in shock. The driver would take one last look at her body and stagger back to his death mobile.

If we could only have this life
For one more day
If we could only turn back time

The day after Rachel's funeral, he didn't want to go back to school. He didn't care if finals were on. What was the point of even doing the tests if they meant nothing to him? But his Ma forced him to.

"Come on Noah. Rachel would have wanted you to have a good education. She would have wanted you to go to school." She said with her small voice.

"You don't know that! She gone! You can't be sure she would say that, because she's not here anymore. "He told his mother in a low voice.

" What? So you think she would have wanted you to mope around the house all day, like a zombie. Throw away the 2 years hard work you have put in at school just because she's not here? Jesus, I know she's gone, I here you yelling almost every night for her to come back. It pains me to say this to you Noah, but she isn't. She isn't coming back. She's gone. Forever. And the sooner you comprehend that, the sooner you can get on with your life. Now, go have some breakfast and go to school. Now." Aviva Puckerman hated to say those words to her only son, her baby boy, but they needed to be said. Better her than anyone else.

Don't wanna be without you
My judgments clouded
Like the night sky

The day at school had been horrible to say the least. Everyone was giving him sympathetic looks. He didn't want their sympathy. Their sympathy wasn't going to bring Rachel back. He was lying down on the dewy grass in his backyard. The exact place where, all of 2 weeks ago, he lay with a very alive Rachel Berry.

"For your birthday, I'm gonna buy you your very own star. That metaphor shit is getting old. You can have your own actual star. Just to show everyone how much of a star you're gonna be babe." Noah said while Rachel stared at him with her big, brown doe-like eyes that quickly filled with tears.

"That is possibly the nicest thing anyone has said to me. Thank you Noah .I love you. " She replied while giving him a small chaste kiss on his pink lips.

"Love you too Rach." He whispered into her mouth.

He did buy her the star. The morning right after that convocation. The piece of paper confirming it came in the mail the day of her death. Along with her favourite stuffed animal, her small collection of Broadway CD's and a picture of New Direction, she was buried with that piece of paper.

Hands are silent

Voice is numb

Try to scream out my lungs

It makes this harder

And the tears stream down my face

Rachel father's let him see the body. He wasn't too sure how he was going to react, but he needed to see her one last time. Even if it was just to say goodbye.

He was lead into the room and left there, with her pale lifeless body to say goodbye. He took one look at her eyes and broke.

His knees buckled and his legs gave out. He tried to scream out, to yell and plead for her to come back but his voice was numb. He lay on the white tiled floor for a good 5 minutes before standing up and trying to compose himself. He grabbed hold of her hand, expecting it to be warm and inviting, but he was met with cold. He shut his eyes, took a few deep breathes and started to speak.

"I miss you already. I keep on asking myself why you, why that gorgeous young beauty that has a voice like an angel. Why you? I love you Rachel. I love you so fuckin' much and I want to know why you were taken from me. Your star arrived today. Kinda bittersweet isn't it?" He took another deep breath and swallowed loudly, trying to get rid of the huge lump that started to form in his throat. "I was gonna propose graduation day. I knew you would decline; tell me that we should wait until our careers have taken off. Then you would grab m-my face and kiss me, telling me that you love me and you will always say yes, but not right now. I don't know what to do with my life anymore. You're not here, which means there really isn't any reason. But I will power on for as long as I can. Which I hope isn't very long. I will be with you soon Rach, I promise." He kissed her forehead, then her lips and left.

If I could lie to my mind

Going back to the time

Playing games in the street

Kicking balls with my feet

Remembering when he was little was always a sore spot for him. His dad. His stupid fucking dad that left him and his heavily pregnant mother all alone because having a wife and 2 kids was never in his 15 year plan. But one of the better memories was meeting Rachel. He was seven, she was six. It was their first year of school. They already knew each other quite well from Temple, so they were each other's best friend. If she was being pushed around by some of the guys, Noah would step in and threaten to bash the crap out of them if they went near "his Rach" again.

Noah was over at Rachel's house on weekend, playing board games and watching movies, when her dad decided they should go outside and play. It was a lovely day and they shouldn't let this lovely Spring weather go to waste. The decided to grab one of Rachel's pink soccer balls to kick around in her front yard. They spend almost two hours in the lovely sun, until Rachel's Daddy calls them in for lunch. Rachel was giggling and her eyes were as sparkly as ever, with her long brunette hair glinting in the sunlight. Noah felt stupid to think about stuff like that. He didn't like girls. They were gross and pink. But he always found her stunningly beautiful. When his mother came to pick him up Rachel kissed his cheek and thanked him for the lovely day they had spent together. He blushed and splutter out a "thank you" while the adults cooed.

There's a numb in my toes

Standing close to the edge

There's a pile of my clothes

At the end of your bed

As I feel myself fall

Make a joke of it all

Noah got up out up out of his bed, wiping his tired eyes and walked out of the house to his beat-up bright orange truck. Rachel's parents and his mother and sister were still at the small bowling club where they were having the wake. Noah didn't think he could handle any more people from his school pretend they cared about Rachel.

He drove to her house, getting out of his truck and opening the Berry's front door. After a year of Rachel and himself going out, her Hanukah present to him was a key to her house. Needless to say he was more than pleased.

He walked up the flight of stairs that lead to her bedroom. He slowly open the door, letting her still lingering smell envelop his nostrils. He closed the door behind him firmly and locked it. He looked around her bedroom, taking in all of the small things that she had on her bright yellow walls. The trophies and ribbons from various dance recitals and singing competitions, A collage of pictures of him and Rachel, Rachel and Santana, as well as pictures taken at Sectionals, Regionals and Nationals over the almost three year period as well as the alarming amount of stuffed animals that covered her duvet.

He pulled an envelope from out of his pocket and placed it on her nightstand. He really didn't think he needed to put any names on it. They would know it was from him. He pulled out from his other pocket a bottle of various colored pills and a small bottle of water. He downed the pills on one go and drank all of the water in one large gulp. He collapsed onto her fluffy duvet, smiling to himself. He thought that is was funny that a few weeks ago he would never have thought of taking his own life. His like was perfect. He laughed a bit before falling into a deep sleep. A sleep that he would never wake up from. His breathing was low, ragged and desperate, until he took one final breath.
His last thoughts were not of his family, nor of his friends, but how he was going to see Rachel again. And that he was going to be able to see her beautiful smiley face for the rest of eternity.

You know I'll be

Your life

Your voice

Your reason to be

My love

My heart

If breathing for this

Moment

In time

I'll find the words to say

Before you leave me today