Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all character names. The plot belongs to the author.

No copyright infringement is intended.

Mid September

Junk, junk, junk, Macy's catalog, junk, bill, bill, bill.

I toss the catalog in the outside garbage can on the way in to my house, because it stinks like what I imagine The Situation must smell like. Gag.

I head into my kitchen and pull out some cinnamon gummy bears as I stand over my trash can and open the mail.

Water bill, internet bill. An invitation to go deeper into debt, courtesy of CapitalOne.

Vonage wants my business.

So does AARP for some reason. How insulting. I'm only 27 for Christ's sake. I toss it in the bin and slit open the next envelope. Hmmm, it's from Allstate. They are probably offering to protect me from Mayhem, at a better rate then I am currently paying to State Farm.

I open it.

Wait.

What.

The Fuck?

I almost choke on my Cinnabears.

I am holding what appears to be a collection notice in regards to a HIT and RUN accident back in July. Oh fucking shit. $982 in damages?

For a moment I struggle to understand exactly what I am looking at, and then it dawns on me.

No he DIDN'T.

I am going to kill Edward Cullen.

(((High Fidelity)))