AN: So. It's been a while. And that there is the understatement of the year. I'm so sorry this took forever to come; uni and life just kept kicking my ass so hard I never had any real chance to write. And I don't think updates will come any quicker from now on, either, since my vacation ends in two days.

I realize that the plot is going very slowly, and I apologise for that. This fic was born to be an exploration piece, and the biggest thing I wanted to explore was, of course, a less-than-perfect ending to the war. That's why the plot may seem to be crawling. In reality, this doesn't have much of an epic plot at all and it's only going to have six chapters.

That means a lot of OOC-ness and a lot of slow moving plot and quite possibly very long gaps between updates. To those who stay with it despite all this… words cannot describe how grateful and honoured I am. Those who choose to opt out: I'll see you next time, maybe =]

Disclaimer: Avatar is not mine. I do not own any of its writers, either, which is why I can spew out artistic liberty like a very drunk guy.

Chapter Three

Katara awoke to find herself lying in darkness alone. Instantly she sat up, grateful that the moon was waxing and thus provided enough light to see at least a little bit of what was going on. The area around her was quiet, just as everything always seemed to be post-calamity. The Waterbender rose to her feet swiftly, trying to ignore the way her heart was pounding somewhere uncomfortably close to her mouth. How late was it? How could she sleep through Zuko standing up? Where was he?

"Zuko?" She hated the little waver in her voice.

"I'm here," a voice called quietly.

Relief turned her bones to blasting jelly. Sighing, she padded carefully over to where she'd heard him call from. She found him kneeled in the rock, pulling out strands of the strange plant that grew sparsely on the island. She folded her arms, a little irritated that he'd just up and left her like that.

"What are you doing?"

If he picked up the sullen, accusatory note in her voice he didn't show it. "Getting fuel for a fire. So we can catch some fish and actually eat something."

Shame squirmed in her stomach and tinted her cheeks pink. "You should have woken me up. I would have helped you."

"You're going to be catching and cooking," he told her, rising with his slightly pathetic armful of plants. "And, besides, I…" He shifted. "You looked like you needed the rest."

It was only then, when faced with his awkwardness, that she remembered how she'd fallen asleep. Heat flooded through her body and she suddenly wanted the rock to open up and swallow her whole. What was she, four? Mature women did not go and cuddle with somebody because they were a little scared! She shifted away from him awkwardly, glad he seemed to be avoiding her gaze as much as she was avoiding his.

"So. Fish. Right. I'll… I'll go do that, then."

Clearing her throat uneasily, she then slipped to the shoreline and immersed herself with catching them food, effectively pushing all mortifying images of Zuko waking up to find her practically on top of him out of her head. It took her a little while to catch a fish of satisfactory size, but once she'd gently sent its spirit to the Spirit World, Katara returned to the decimated building with pride in her step. Zuko waited for her with fire in his palm and the plants stacked in a neat pile. She sat beside him and gave him a confused look as he shifted closer with his flame.

"They're not going to burn for very long," he explained, "so I'm only going to light them when we're ready to cook the fish."

Somehow, the way he'd phrased that sentence – the way he'd said 'we' instead of 'you' – made Katara's insides warm up in soft pleasure. She didn't mind cooking for the Gaang; she was good at it and frankly didn't trust anybody else's cooking. But never before had anybody invested an equal amount of effort and energy into it as her. On that night, she was not cooking for him; they were cooking together. It made her feel like there was a piece of home there with her, and peace descended in her heart.

It was only when she was done washing one of the larger stones from the building and laying the fish across it that she realized she had no knife. She was about to point this out to Zuko when he produced one without a word. Curiously, she looked over the weapon and traced the inscription on the blade.

"'Never give up without a fight'?"

"Uncle gave it to me, many years ago. He got it when he was leading the siege on Ba Sing Se."

The underlying tone in Zuko's voice stopped her from asking any more questions. Instead, she simply prepared the fish, telling Zuko when to light the fire. The plants burnt quicker than even Zuko expected, but the fish was still cooked enough for their ravenous stomachs to endure. After their little supper Katara firmly insisted that Zuko get healed again. The wound was still raw and – she suspected – painful, but it knit together nicely under her fingers and she estimated that he would be pain-free in another three days or so. Another half-argument arose at what they were going to do next: Zuko insisted it was pure foolishness to go and do anything in the dark. Finally, Katara agreed, and although she thought she'd struggle to fall asleep she was out mere minutes after lying down.

The second time she awoke on the island, it was to find herself face-to-face with Zuko. Somehow, in her sleep, she'd scooted over to him and had, once again, practically put herself on top of him. This time, however, she was lucky: Zuko was still asleep when she awoke. For a long while she studied the Firebender as the dawn broke around them. Lying on his left side, with his scar hidden and his entire body relaxed he looked… vulnerable and younger, somehow. And then she remembered Sokka mentioning that it was nice to have a guy roughly his age around, back when Zuko and he had just returned from The Boiling Rock and she was still forcing herself to hate him. Sokka's age. Spirits, he was young…

As the sun rose over the horizon he stirred, prompting her to immediately shift away from him and then wonder why she hadn't moved as soon as she awoke.

They said good morning to each other without words and it was Katara who broke the silence. "So, now what do we do?"

For a moment, Zuko contemplated. "Ba Sing Se. It's still our best bet, still the place we're most likely to find everybody and figure out what happened." She nodded, but it was hesitant. He noticed, and sighed. "What?"

"Nothing." She contradicted her statement a split second later. "It's just… Aang very rarely runs away. But when something scares him enough to make him run he runs for a place he feels safe. A home. Ba Sing Se today is just another war zone. If that… earthquake thing… happened while he was facing Ozai, he wouldn't run straight into another battle. He'd want to go home."

"The Western Air Temple?"

"I think so. It's worth a try, right? I mean, we can get there, right?"

For a long moment he just looked at her, seemingly searching for something. Her heart leapt in relief when he nodded. "Yeah, we can get there. I know the path."

She gave him a confused look but he was already moving, rising stiffly and heading towards the shore. It took her a few seconds to comprehend his sudden movements and she had to scramble to catch up with him, still not quite used to his silent, sudden way of making decisions. It was only when she was bending them across the waves that she took in the uncomfortable look on his face and realized he'd been hoping to pull off that stupid male 'ignore the injury' thing again. She called him out on it and another argument ensued. This one died out quickly, though, as they reached the shore and found the remains of their clumsy burial of the previous day. After another healing session wherein neither of them dared look at the shore Katara let Zuko lead the way. The two of them climbed partially up the side of the mountain again, retracing their steps up until they once again reached the path that Zuko had deviated from so strongly on their trip down. The Firebender led her along the path this time, seemingly oblivious to the curious glances she was giving him.

"Where are we going?"

He frowned at her. "To the Western Air Temple. The path I know starts from the village."

Katara looked around her and saw nothing but dead mountain and thorny bush. "What village?" Zuko rolled his eyes in frustration and just carried on walking. Katara's irritation peaked. "Zuko! What village?"

The path cut through a miniature tunnel and the sun was completely blotted out in an instant. Katara shivered and moved closer to her companion. The Firebender didn't raise his hand to create a flame but before she could ask him to do it – the rock surrounding her was cold and it smelt very funny – light once more washed over her. And Zuko was once again stopped in his tracks.

"The village that used to be here," he answered belatedly.

Another scene of destruction met Katara's eyes. Every building had been turned into a collapsed pile of rock and the silence of the dead hung around the place with the soot. The only thing still left intact was a merchant's cart that had somehow been run halfway into the mouth of the tunnel. Bits of the rock had crumbled into it and had squashed the wares brutally, leaving a sticky orange mess all over the wood and the suspicious bundle of cloth on the end. Instinctively, Katara reached for the bundle only to have her wrists caught tightly in Zuko's hands. She jumped at the sudden contact, heart hammering as she whirled to face him.

"Don't," he told her softly. "You can't do anything. Don't."

Her eyes returned to the bundle and she made out the form of a tiny human foot. At once her eyes closed and she staggered away, tears forming and choking her as she tried not to vomit. Zuko did not let go of her wrists, using his grip to keep her on her feet even as she wished to just be swallowed by the earth. This was wrong. This was all so wrong. They were supposed to be having a victory party today, not living out a sick nightmare. This is what they were supposed to have stopped. When she finally got her breath back Zuko let go of her wrists and started for the village.

"You can wait here," he offered over his shoulder, unable to turn and meet her eyes.

She swallowed, wondering what it felt like for him to see s many of his own people dead when to her it was already almost too much. The thought of seeing another corpse nearly outdid her on the spot. Gritting her teeth, she pushed it away and followed the Firebender. She was the last Waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe. She was a Master. She would do what had to be done.

Neither of the teens looked left or right as they moved through the silent, destroyed streets. Once more Zuko seemed to know the way; his steps were sure and unwavering. He pulled them to a stop outside a pile of rubble that, to her, seemed no different from the rest. For a moment he hesitated, eyes sweeping the mass, before he took four precise steps to the right and began to shift the rock. Confused, Katara followed his lead, shifting chunks of brick until the door to a cellar came into view. Zuko created a tiny flame on his thumb and stuck it through a hole on the cellar door's lid. A click sounded and the Firebender pulled the door open.

"Okay, what is going on." Katara finally couldn't keep quiet any more. "Where are we? What is this place? How do you know how to get into somebody else's cellar?"

Zuko sighed heavily but straightened up and faced her. For a moment he seemed unsure of where to start, then the words just blurted out in a slightly confusing stream. "My uncle requested to be in charge of my quest to find the Avatar. He brought me here and sought out Captain Jee, whom he knew from his army days. Jee lived here," Zuko gestured to the ruin of the house, "and he lived alone. Uncle offered him a chance to get out of the nation, leave it all behind, travel, do something… We stayed here while Jee found the rest of what would later be my crew; a small group of people just like him who had nothing here and so nothing to lose. Then we set sail."

Silence followed this information. Zuko's stare turned challenging and defensive. Katara shook her head to try and quell the surprise. "This is where your hunt for Aang began?" Zuko nodded stiffly. The Waterbender's eyes traveled to the mass of rubble and the gaping mouth of the cellar. "Oh."

Released from his duty to give information, Zuko entered the cellar and came up a while later carrying to satchels that were filled to bursting. Katara opened her mouth to voice her hesitance about stealing, only to stop the words before they left. Nobody here would miss whatever they took, that was for sure. Zuko, perceptive as he was when on edge, noticed her open mouth and frowned.

"What?" he demanded. She stared at him mutely, being burned by the defensiveness in his eyes. "What?"

"So everybody who went with you to find Aang went because they had nothing at all to keep them here?"

The question came out of nowhere; flew from the back of her mind to her tongue without her giving it permission. It surprised her as much as it did Zuko. His frown deepened, but he answered her anyway.

"Yes."

"So then…" She hesitated, realizing she was skating on thin ice. But she could not stop now that she'd started. "So then what made you go? What was it that made you so hungry to catch the Avatar that you'd go out on a seemingly futile journey that led to you getting banished from your own country?"

For a moment, all the Firebender registered was pure surprise and incomprehension. He stared at her wide, innocent eyes and things clicked into place. She thought he'd only gotten banished after he'd gone after Aang. She thought his banishment was somehow a consequence of chasing the Avatar. She thought he'd chosen to go. His mouth felt dry, and the words to correct her wouldn't come. The image of him telling her what had actually happened made his entire body freeze. Katara suddenly blushed, chewing on her lip.

"Sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I just…"

"I know you didn't." It didn't change anything, though. "Come on."

Sharply he turned and marched away from her, her questions, those eyes that were too innocent to hate for asking that question of him, from the memories, from the dead, from having to face his past nightmare and his present one all in one blow. He could hear her following him quietly but he did not turn to look at her. Instead, he kept his eyes on the path that he remembered all too well, even though his uncle and him had traveled it only once and had used it going the opposite direction. Some journeys you just couldn't forget.

It was when his feet met the worn ground that the villagers had used as a path that the irony hit him: once again, he was setting off from that village to go and find the Avatar. Destiny was a bitch, sometimes.

The silence between them came and went in erratic waves. Sometimes they'd walk side-by-side talking about things so random Katara often had to remind herself that it was really sullen, silent Zuko that she was talking to. Other times they would walk a little apart, lost in their own fears and worries. Sometimes fatigue would keep their mouths closed, but then they'd get a second wind and the conversation would start again, light and seemingly meaningless but somehow, to them, the lifeline to sanity. The two rested only twice the whole day, flopping down where they stood as the land offered no vegetation for comfort anyway. Katara was worried about Zuko's wound even though he continually brushed her off about it. Eventually she stopped asking and just resolved for paying closer attention so she would see when or if it got too much for him.

At sunset their luck improved and they found a small oasis that Zuko explained was a man-made watering hole for farmers' animals. The hole was not big but the water was clean and some plants had managed to survive around the oval that they could sleep on. Zuko made a fire and Katara prepared some of the dried meat in their packs into a stew. It wasn't the best thing they'd ever eaten, but it was edible and they were both hungry and exhausted.

The night was so silent around them that they both nearly jumped out of their skins at the sudden, loud splash. At once Katara raised her arms, fingers tingling as the water in the dam came under her command. She was about to sweep everything in the water to the side when Zuko yelled at her to stop.

"It's okay! Don't hurt it!"

Relieved, she let her arms sag. Her heart was hammering as she peered at the water. "What is it?"

Zuko extended a palm of fire outwards and Katara was finally able to glimpse a little shape floating innocently on the surface of the water. "Turtleduck."

It was the first living thing they'd seen besides each other and the fish in almost three days. Both of them watched its progress in slightly awed silence, almost scared that if they made too much noise it would disappear and leave them alone again.

"I've never heard of a Turtleduck," Katara confessed after a while.

"They're indigenous to the Fire Nation." Zuko sat back down again and finished his meal. "They were almost extinct a few years ago until the sanctuary was started where they could breed in peace."

"There's a sanctuary for birds in the Fire Nation?"

The question was voiced before she could stop it; the notion that the Fire Nation had animal sanctuaries was almost akin to her being told Ozai still slept with a doll for comfort. But even as she asked it guilt ate up at her insides. It was just so difficult, sometimes, to remember that the Fire Nation itself wasn't evil. It was so much easier to revert back to the thinking of her younger years; that every person with those odd gold eyes was the enemy. Luckily, Zuko seemed too preoccupied to notice and take offence to her prejudice.

"Yeah. It's in the palace gardens, actually."

Katara's eyebrows shot up. "How'd that happen? General Iroh?"

Zuko shook his head. "My mom started it. She loved Turtleducks."

His gaze had softened as he spoke, and hers followed suit. It was the first time since he'd spoken about his mother since they'd both been trapped underneath Ba Sing Se. Curiosity on almost a desperate level crawled up in her and she only just managed to stop himself from asking him what had happened. He had so many secrets. Every time she thought she knew him, he turned around and handed her more questions whilst simultaneously blowing up all her theories. Feeling her gaze he turned away from the Turtleduck to face her.

"Your mom sounds like an amazing person," she told him quietly.

He'd never know, but that sentence was a realization on her part. There had always been the nagging thought that anybody crazy enough to marry Ozai had to be just a bit like him. The look in Zuko's eyes as he spoke about her and at her compliment banished that thought forever. And she was insanely, insanely glad that he'd had at least one parent who had loved him as he'd deserved.

"She was," he agreed. Then, inexplicably, he stiffened. "She is?" She frowned at his hesitant half-question and he shifted a little as though embarrassed. "I…"

"Zuko. You can tell me. You know that, right?" Still he hesitated. "Besides, it's only fair, really. You know practically my whole life story and I honestly don't know a thing about you."

He shut his eyes and spoke to the darkness. "On the day of the eclipse I went to my… to Ozai. I told him I was going to go and join the Avatar, teach him Firebending and help him to win the war. To get me to stay until his bending came back so he could attack me, Ozai said… He said… He said my mother might still be alive."

In the dead silence, Zuko opened his eyes and looked at Katara again. She'd never seen him that lost before. His gaze dropped. "Ozai lies, though. He always lies. I don't know… I mean…"

"Zuko." She made her tone as gentle as she possibly could. "Is there any chance that he's not lying? That's she's still out there?" The Firebender's forehead furrowed and she shook her head. "No, don't think about it. Just yes or no: is there any hope she's still out there?"

"Yes." He looked at her and she could tell he was fighting the desire to hope with everything in him. She wondered how many times he'd been disappointed to make him that adverse to faith.

"Then we'll find her," Katara told him simply. "Yes, 'we'. I swear to you right now that when this is all over I am going to help you find your mom. I swear it."

"Thank you, Katara." There was trust in his eyes, and she smiled.

From then on their luck seemed to improve a little. They woke to a day that was slightly more overcast, saving them from the direct glare from the sun. After a few hours of walking they stumbled on a ruined orchard and gorged themselves on Moon Peaches until Katara was sure she would carry the taste around with her forever. Even their conviction that they were lost only lasted about half an hour before Zuko recognized the path once more and continued to lead them inland. Conversation flowed even easier than the previous day and Katara amused herself and Zuko by recounting the many adventures her people had taken part in during the winter storms when they could not leave their igloos. Zuko was still a lot more hesitant than her to give away personal details, but he did tell her some stories of his mother and his childhood. The picture he painted was one of a good life, but there was just something in the background that remained sinister in Katara's head; she was sure he was skipping over some parts to make things seem rosier than they actually were. She didn't press him on it; he knew she was there if he wanted to talk.

As the sun was setting their luck seemed to forsake them on the spot.

At first they'd thought the mound to be a hill or a pile of rocks. As they got closer, however, the form kept morphing into something different. Suddenly the hill transformed into the shape of a fallen airship. Without a word, both of them ran towards it. Katara was praying harder than she ever had in her life, begging the spirits that she would not find her brother in the wreckage. A few feet off the smell hit them and Katara wanted to cry. She wondered if she'd ever be able to get the stench of dead bodies out of her head after this.

"Do you see…?" She couldn't complete the question.

"No. They look… they all look like Earth Kingdom soldiers. Look at their uniforms."

"Those over there aren't wearing them, though. They look like…" Horror flooded the pit of her stomach as the deep blue robes she knew too well came into view. Mixed among the soldiers of the Earth Kingdom were fallen members of the White Lotus. "How did they get here? What are they doing here? In an airship? I don't-"

Air and words were slammed out of her as her eyes fell upon another fallen form wearing dark blue robes. This form was male and stocky and he had his back towards her. All she could see was the white hair and topknot exactly like that of…

Beside her, Zuko stopped breathing.

"No," Katara whispered. "No, no, no. No, it's not. It can't be. No."

The Firebender took lurching steps forward, his eyes wide and full of pure fear. He collapsed next to the form and then reached for it with shaking fingers. All the while Katara stood and tried to breathe and reasoned that the spirits could not be that cruel to one person. Zuko slumped and her heart nearly stopped.

"It's not Uncle," he told her.

"Oh, spirits. Oh… Oh my… Oh, spirits." She could have collapsed in relief.

"It's not Uncle," he repeated, but this time it sounded like he was trying to tell himself.

A shaky, choking noise sounded and it took her a while to realize Zuko was laughing in relief. He was still slumped over with his face turned away from her, almost bowed low on the ground as though in prayer. The humourless, breathless laughter continued, shaking his shoulders as he sat. And then, suddenly, the laughter changed somehow and it began to shake his shoulders in a different way. Understanding, Katara knelt beside him and placed both her hands on his shoulders. He tried to turn away but she gripped him and then pulled him forcefully towards her, wrapping his body in her arms. For a moment longer he struggled before he gripped her back, laying his forehead on her shoulder.

Katara thought of what she could have found; thought of the dead bodies of her brother, father or closest friends in the world and then about what was almost taken from the man in front of her. She shut her eyes, buried her face in Zuko's neck, and finally cried for what could be her future.

The sun set and they held one another as they sobbed.

AN2: is still being screwy Email wise so I don't get told when I have a new review. So if you're still waiting for me to respond to you... You may want to send me a PM xD I love replying to reveiws personally but I honestly cannot remember what I've replied to and what I haven't. So apologies for that. In case anybody cares xD