Fingers

His fingers had been fascinating Seras since always.

They were so long and bony, she could see their every ossicle. He was pushing the triggers of guns like he had been doing it since childhood. It might be true.

Seras wondered: What is your story?

Did he rise up in France all along or did he move? Who had brought him up? Did he have a happy life? When did he first shoot someone? Why did he become a mercenary?

Captain Bernadotte.

What does he like? What are his dreams? Is he happy? Does he love someone?

How many girls have you touched, Mr. Bernadotte?

Even though Seras tried hard not to think about it, she couldn't help. She was coming back to these thoughts, no matter how many times she told herself that it's stupid and reckless to think about such a perverted person. And about how many girls he had shagged.

And how many times his fingers had felt somebody's warmth.

And so, she thought about it again while cleaning Harkonnen up. When Wild Geese finished their training, Seras had to take care of her weapon. It wouldn't be so unnusual – every soldier had to take care of his weapon. But Seras had never been pursed to clean ALL the weapons. Why? The reason was clear: it was the soldier's day off. Everybody got their passes apart from Captain and Seras. Someone had to stay.

-Mignonette – Bernadotte opened. - How have you been lastly?

Seras put some gel on a duster and closed the bottle. She started cleaning the barrel, carefully and slowly; in the police reinforcements they taught her to always care about her weapon, even more than about her own life. „Clean weapon is a living policeman" - as they used to say.

-Why so sudden, Captain? - she coldly answered with a question. - Why do I concern you? Do you have something on your mind?

-Ouch, ouch, ouch! - Captain acted like his fingers got frozen from touching his currently cleaning weapon. He moved them in the air and even blew on them. He streightened them once again and Seras could watch his fingers in all their glory, glancing at him from a corner of her eye. - Nothing at all, mignonette! I just thought that it would be good to start a conversation since we're here all alone!

-Hmm – Seras mumbled.

-And you know, I care about my soldiers – he glanced at her from under his cowboy hat. - And a good talk is always necessary.

-Hmm – Seras repeated. - So, what would you like to talk about, Captain?

-Oh, please, mignonette, I have a name! Don't be so formal when we're alone.

She finished cleaning Harkonnen and with a loud „cling!" she put it together. She reached for the next gun.

-So I do.

Another clinging sound.

-So, Victoria... - Bernadotte raised a gun and stroked it like a tender lover.

Seras lowered her sight instead. She didn't exactly know why, but when he said her first name and patted that gun, his fingers made that soft noise, which only a vampire could hear. It made her tremble; her name hadn't been on someone's lips for about 5 years, since she had left the oprhanage and became a police officer. It had always been 'Neko-chan', 'Cop', 'Policewoman', 'Mignonette', or just Seras. Combination of her real name and that strange sound made her imagine his long fingers on her naked body. It embarrassed her, fascinated and scared at the same time. Seras had never experienced something like that; she had never wanted a man to touch her in that way. The new image in her head surprised her and she felt butterflies in her stomach.

Abnormally strange.

-Victoria – Bernadotte carried on and acted like he didn't notice anything about her behaviour. - You always keep so much of a distance.

Seras moved anxiously.

-Even now, you sit in another corner of the room, whereas you could just sit here comfortably – he patted a seat next to him.

-A coincidence – she answered really shy and quietly.

-What did you say? - Bernadotte asked as he stood up and put the cleaned weapon aside. - I can't hear you.

-I said that it was... - Seras started to repeating the sentence when she released, that Mr. Bernadotte had walked up disturbingly close.

-Erm...Captain Bernadotte...

-You have to get closer to people if you want them to understand you – he lowered his sight to look straight into her eyes. Bernadotte stretched his head a little, like a curious meerkat.

Well, maybe a meerkat wasn't the best comparison.

She stared fascinated at his remaining left eye. Seras could see sly sparkles in that green eye.

-Say my name, mon cherie -she could smell beer and cigarettes in his breath, as he leaned down. He took a gun from her and put it aside just like he had done earlier. - Say it so we can understand each other.

-Cap...Captain... - a lightning of fear pressed Seras against the wall. She felt so helpless, so weak. She forgot her superhuman strenght and abilities. Again, she felt like a little scared child. Bernadotte was way older than her, 10 years or so? Never mind eternal life. Never mind being a vampire. The memories began to flash on her eyelids, her mom, her poor mom being raped by that awful man...

-Bon Dieu! Seras, you're shaking. It's OK, I didn't mean to do anything! Seras, look at me!

Seras discovered she had closed her eyes. Yes, this is how she reacts when a man gets close to her. Everything was alright until he took a gun from her, until she had something to defense. It was always like that – Seras needed a barrier to protect her from being hurt. She just couldn't forget that pain. That loss.

Seras didn't trust men. Why would Captain be different from the others?

Even though, something inside her desired feeling his fingers touching her. And it scared her even more.

-Excuse me, Captain... - she wanted to run away, she had to. The vampire tried to sneak out under Mr. Bernadotte's arm, when she suddenly felt a pair of strong arms holding her from behind.

-Not this time, mignonette – hot breath of a living caressed her ear. - I won't let you escape.

Run away!

But I can't move.

Beat him up!

Can't open eyes.

Show him!

I'm too scared.

Suck his blood.

No... Never.

It's like a disease. Seras caved in Bernadotte and hung on his arms, breathing heavily. Fight with instinct in her mind exhaused her and took all her strenght. She barely released a feeling of Captain's fingers holding her tightly to his chest.

Ba-dump, ba-dump.

Maybe that sound was his heartbeat? She licked her lips.

-Hey, what's up, mignonette, I don't get it... - Bernadotte slowly sat they both on the floor and seeing her eyes, he shouted: - Bon Dieu!

Seras growled, if she was more conscious of her actions, she would be embarrassed of making such wild noises.

But she wasn't.

-Hey, mignonette, I understand that you might be hungry – Pip felt her small hands gripping on his shoulders. They drove into his flesh like claws, but it didn't hurt that much, because thick material of his jacket had it's advantages. With strenght unappropiate for such a petite creature his mignonette was, she pressed him against the wall. He knew he was playing with fire, but damn, it was occasion one in the million to have a hot sexy vampire chick holding you against the wall. - So, why don't you have a bite?

Bernadotte raised his chin, exposing the neck. At first, Seras got closer, due to the heat of fresh human blood. She sniffed, but then started trembling and shaking, like she would have a fever. She shook her head.

-Non? Yay, it might be troublesome if you bite me – Frenchman slowly put his hand on vampire's cheek. - Mon chéri Victoria. Very troublesome.

The girl snuggled against his palm. Pip's rough, big yet gentle hand grasped whole lenght of her face. He felt how Seras let go of his shoulders and slowly relaxed. She was now breathing slowly, with eyes closed. Pip enclosed her petite body with his free arm and hugged her to his chest. He got closer, closer...he licked his lips, almost there, almost ready to...

Seras opened her eyes, which were blue again.

Damn, so close.

Massagging the aching cheek, Pip Bernadotte thought: I... tamed a vampire. Damn, I'm better than Van Hellsing!

Behind the doors of the armory, Seras Victoria thought: And yet, his fingers felt so good. Too good.

But she just paniced that time. She was wondering how could have that ended if she had trusted Captain more. Maybe she could have counted for something more than only a kiss.

Maybe she would count for the touch of his fingers on her naked skin.