Rule No. 1: NEVER EVER Prank Optimus Prime (Intentionally or Not!)

It was supposed to be a normal day at the Ark; everyone was off duty and the Decepticons were nowhere to be seen and all was well. In fact, all was too well. The twins were waiting for their latest victim to fall foul of their latest prank. But they hadn't counted on it being their leader; in fact, they hadn't counted on the aftermath happening either. But let us start at the beginning, before an officer's worst nightmare came true…

====== Corridor near Prowl's Office ======

"Oh man oh man oh MAN! This is gonna be SO awesome!" said Sideswipe, barely able to contain his excitement as he and his brother, Sunstreaker, waited for an unsuspecting Autobot to fall right into their prank.

"Shut up, Sides! You keep on yelling and you're gonna get us caught!" hissed Sunstreaker in annoyance. Their latest prank consisted of: 1 large bucket of pink paint + glue mixed in + water mixed in + sequins and glitter for extra fun = one VERY annoyed and angry Autobot victim + a MASSIVE bundle of laughs for the twins. Nothing could go wrong this time though, they had thought of everything one might do to avoid it. They had managed to get the bucket on the ceiling of the corridor without spilling its content and they had fool proofed everything too. Nothing could possibly go wrong until…

"Shhh! This is it!" hushed Sideswipe; they could hear footsteps coming their way, "HIDE!" both of the twins ducked back into their hiding places and waited.

"AAHHHHHH! WHAT IN THE PIT?" It was Optimus. The twins could only exchange looks that literally said, 'we are so dead for this'. Soon enough though, Ratchet and Prowl came running and immediately asked Optimus what had happened.

"I was just walking down the corridor on my way to Prowl's office when THIS happened! Now it's all over my antennae and now..." spluttered Optimus as he wiped the pink gluey mixture from his optics.

"Alright Prime, it's ok." reassured Ratchet, "Prowl, find the twins pronto but first can you help me get Optimus down to my Medbay? I think you know as well as I do what's gonna happen if we don't." Prowl nodded and put one of Optimus' arms around his shoulders as Ratchet did the same and gently led Optimus down towards the Medbay. The sudden rush of noise roused the other Autobots from their chill-out time and pretty soon, a large crowd had formed around the scene of the crime.

"Wonder what happened?" said Bluestreak

"Well one thing's for sure, the twins are slagged for this!" said Brawn as two shadows could just about be made out slinking away into the next corridor.

====== Medbay ======

"Ow! oww, ARGH! That hurts Ratchet!" yelled Optimus as the last of the pink gunk was eradicated from his helm.

"I know Optimus but do you want to go through it all again? Remeber what happened last time?" grumbled Ratchet.

"Uhhh, no. I was in Medbay for weeks last time and at the end I didn't remember a thing did I?"

"Exactly. Hold still!" Ratchet pushed Optimus back down onto the berth as he scanned for anymore goo. "Nope, you're ok to go now Prime but if you feel a bit weird then be sure to come straight back ok?"

"Yeah. Hope Prowl catches the twins for this coz if he doesn't then I will." muttered Optimus as he left the Medbay, still rubbing his antennae.

====== Optimus' Quarters ======

"nnrggghhff" Optimus grumbled as he tried to relax on his berth but the twitching feeling on his antennae was annoying him. There was a few knocks at the door. "Enter"

"Hello Optimus, Ratchet sent me to check up on you." it was Perceptor, "now if I could just do a few scans on your antennae..." Perceptor transformed and scanned Optimus' antennae, "hmmmm, nope it's all fine. But I must ask, have you felt anything going on with your antennae?" Optimus considered this for a moment.

'hmm, tell Perceptor that there is twitching going on with my antennae and go to Ratchet for it or DON'T tell Perceptor and DON'T go to Ratchet for it? Well, answer speaks for itself doesn't it?' thought Optimus, "no Perceptor, all is fine my friend."

"Ok, thank you Optimus but do try to get some rest." Perceptor hastily added, "Ratchet's orders." and with that, he left Optimus to recharge.

====== Midnight - Optimus' Quarters ======

Seconds became minutes. Minutes became hours and hours became forever. No matter how hard Optimus tried, he couldn't get into recharge and he was already exhausted. Thankfully no Decepticons had decided to attack anything so no battles were needed to resolve things again. But Optimus felt restless and he tossed and turned on his berth, trying so desperately to get into recharge. He sat up and sighed,

"It's no use, if I can't recharge I might as well go for a midnight wander." so he got up and left for the Rec. Room.

No one was in the Rec. Room so Optimus had it all to himself, or so he thought. Smokescreen was still in there and he was trying to gamble against himsel. Seeing as Optimus had nothing else to do he challenged Smokescreen to a gambling session. Several games later, Optimus had thousands of stacks of gambling chips and Smokescreen had three. This was a major blow to Smokescreen's pride as he used to be the best gambler in the cosmos... until Optimus had had several goes.

"Wha-? How are you doing this Prime?" Smokescreen was dumbfounded; Optimus had beaten him AGAIN on the nineteenth game and won all of the remaining chips.

"Beats me, I'm just playing!" chuckled the Prime as he collected all of his gambling chips and stowed them in a bag.

It was around 8.a.m. and they were still playing when the other Autobots filed in for a few hours of rest before duties began. Only, they didn't expect to see their leader playing the best gambler and win every time!

"Hey Prime, how's ya game goin?" piped up Bluestreak, the youngest of the Praxian trio.

"He's winning everytime!" said Smokescreen sourly, he hated losing but this just took the mick! "Just look at how many chips he's won!" Optimus held up the bag of gambling chips and Bluestreak's mouth dropped wide open.

"But - HOW?" cried the young grey gunner, "You told me and Bee that you've never played in your entire lifecycle!"

"Well, I haven't but once Smokescreen explained to me how to play..." admitted Optimus, his mouth grinning so wide he was thankful for the mask across his faceplates. Ironhide then came over and slapped Optimus on the back.

"Hehe, well done Optimus! Ya finally beat Smokey here! I'm glad somebot did it but I'm jus' sorry it weren't me!" laughed the Weapons Specialist. Smokescreen glared at Ironhide, Optimus and his brother and left the Rec. Room in a huff worthy of Huffer.

"Hey Optimus, what say you an me have a lil drinkin contest? Eh?" Challenged Ironhide, holding his hand out for Optimus to shake if he accepted.

"Well, I don't know. OK!" Optimus shook Ironhide's arm as Ironhide yelled for everyone's attention.

"ALRIGHT BOTS! Listen up! We got ourselves a drinking contest!" an almighty roar rose from the crowd.

"But who's the challenger (?)" someone asked sarcastically; everyone knew it was Ironhide who always issued drinking contest and always won.

"Me dummy! Duh" Ironhide played along with them.

"But who's the competitor?" another bot asked seriously.

"Optimus Prime!" Ironhide slapped his friend on the back as the crowd cheered like Megatron had gone offline.

"But," Optimus interrupted, "I have one thing to say," the crowd fell deathly silent, afraid he was going to alter the rules. Optimus scanned the crowd as he only just managed to contain his excitement, "I'm gonna cancel all monitor and patrol duties for today because of the contest. I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE IRONHIDE!" Optimus yelled and the music and cheers started up again.

An hour later and Optimus and Ironhide had gone through 19 Energon cubes... each. The crowds of mechs were so thick that they had to keep on swapping around just so the bots at the back could get a look in on the competition.

"DRINK! DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!" The chants went on and on and the mechs drank and drank and neither Optimus nor Ironhide showed any signs of stopping. Casual conversations were held every two cubes just to make sure that their systems were coping.

"Hey, Iron*hic*hide, do you *hic* give up yet?" Optimus slurred as he set down his 24th cube. Ironhide was halfway through his 24th and he looked a little off.

"I'm *hic* fine Oppy! Stop *hic* asking!" Ironhide rarely used Optimus' nickname but considering they were the robot equivalent of drunk, Ironhide couldn't help himself.

"Don't call me *hic* 'Oppy', you *hic* know I don't *hic* like it, Hidey!" said Optimus, returning the favour with Ironhide's nickname. Both mechs then stared at each other and, after a few seconds, began laughing hysterically. It was great for the other Autobots to see their leader having some 'down time' after all, he did deserve it! As soon as the hysterics ceased, Optimus and Ironhide began on their twenty-fifth cube of high-grade Energon.

"oh boy, Ratchet's gonna *hic* go mental if he sees us like *hic* this *hic*!" said Ironhide with a mischevious grin.

"Yeah but *hic* we're just *hic* gonna *hic* black *hic* out again *hic* Hidey! Then we can just say that *hic* we didn't realise there *hic* was dope or summin *hic* in the high-grade!" at this remark Optimus then fell off his chair and landed with a clang on his side, all the while laughing into the floor.

"HAHAHAHAHA! Here *hic* let me help ya!" Ironhide roared with laughter as did the others but he only succeeded in falling onto the floor next to his drunken friend, both of them laughing their heads off. The rest of the mechs surrounding them started laughing too and, pretty soon, the entire Rec. Room audience were laughing and giggling at the sight of their leader and Weapons Specialist lying on the floor drunk on high-grade.

Rachet could hear the noise from the Medbay but when roars of laughter erupted from the Rec. Room he had to go and see what on Cybertron was going on. He made his way down to the Rec. Room, only to find a crowd of mechs surrounding what was the gambling table.

"WHAT IN THUNDER'S NAME IS GOING ON HERE?" Ratchet bellowed as the crowd seperated to allow him entry. Optimus and Ironhide were still laughing and chuckling on the floor, both unable to get up. "OPTIMUS PRIME WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? I TOLD YOU TO COME STRAIGHT TO ME IF THERE WAS A PROBLEM!" Ratchet was furious. Optimus looked up as he heard his name being yelled and the laughter, music and cheering from earlier ceased. Except for Ironhide, he just kept on giggling.

"uh? oh hi Rara! I was just *hic* havin a good ol' drink with *hic* Hidey!" said Optimus cheerfully as he tried to pick himself up from the floor. As soon as he was on his pedes, he swayed dangerously and collapsed on top of Ironhide who kept on laughing. Ratchet knelt down to Optimus and said in a quiet voice,

"You were drinking, weren't you?" Optimus looked at Ratchet like a Sparkling caught with his hand in the Energon cookie jar.

"Guilty as *hic* charged." said Optimus sullenly as he allowed Ratchet to haul him to his pedes again and lead him back to his quarters.

"Oh and someone take care of Ironhide, or just leave him. He'll wake up in the morning with no recollection of what happened" Ratchet called as he left.

"Hey uh Ratchet? *hic* we've gone the wrong *hic* way, my quarters are *hic* over that way!" said Optimus as he was dragged towards the Medbay.

"I know Optimus, you're coming to the Medbay to have all of that high-grade pumped out of your systems." An alarmed look took over Optimus' faceplates and he tried to squirm away from the medic. "It's no use squirming, even if you did get away, I'd track you down eventually!" warned Ratchet as he keyed in the door-release code for the Medbay.

Optimus was plonked down on the berth and several tubes were put into his systems to take out all the excess Energon he had drunk.

"unnghh, Ratchet." said Optimus feebly, "I need to purge my tanks!" Optimus rolled off the berth and knelt down, clutching his abdomen. After a few seconds, he purged and he purged and he purged until there was nothing left to purge. Optimus then rolled over and collapsed into a peaceful recharge on the floor of the Medbay.

"Owwwww, what did I DO last night?" groaned Optimus as he rubbed his helm. He was back in his quarters and was doing the robot equivalent of having a hangover... and it wasn't going well. He swung his legs out of the berth and tried to stand only to recieve a wave of nausea sweep over him. He sat back down.

"Right, lets get my head around last night's events." Optimus thought right back to the prank the twins pulled on him. For Optimus, this was how he remembered the previous events:
1) He got pranked by Sunstreaker and Sideswipe with pink glue mixture
2) He was in the Medbay having himself cleaned up
3) He was in his quarters being checked up on by Perceptor
4) He was in the Rec. Room gambling with Smokescreen and kept on winning
5) Agreed to a competition with Ironhide which was a drinking competition
6) Nothing, he didn't remember

Optimus was desperately trying to think of how he would ever agree to do such a childish thing with Ironhide. 'Wait just a second; I got pranked, pink glue stuff on my antennae, got wasted with Ironhide...'

"Ohhhhh!" it all made sense now, his antennae got covered in pink glue which made him go weird which made him agree to Ironhide's challenge. But the trap/prank was set by -

"SUNSTREAKER! SIDESWIPE!"