Author's Notes: Just a drabble I wrote when I found myself wanting to write something unhappy but not excessively tragic. I've fudged facts to fit the flow of the story, but it's nothing huge. For example: when Harry, Ron, and Hermione were taken to Malfoy manor during their search for Horcruxes, Harry wasn't recognised so quickly, as his appearance had been magically changed, much like Ron's in canon when they were breaking into Gringotts.
Anyway, the WARNING on this is references to rape, torturing, murder, etc. All the kinds of things I imagine Death Eaters got up to during the war.
Read and review. :)
Forgiveness Is a Diamond
"You will tell this court everything we want to know. Under the eyes of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and before the Wizengamot Administration Services, state your name for the record."
"Draco Malfoy."
"Age?"
"Eighteen."
"Marital status?"
"Single."
"Legal status?"
"Incarcerated."
"What are your crimes?"
…
…
…
Draco hesitated, wondering exactly what they were asking. Was he a Death Eater? They knew this; they'd seen his mark, though it had already begun to fade. They'd heard his other testimonies about his induction into the inner circle. What else could they be referring to?
"What are your crimes?" Kingsley Shacklebolt was patient with him, his voice even.
"Start from the beginning," he said a moment later, now choosing to ignore his own question, "of your time at the Malfoy Manor when you weren't at Hogwarts, if you would Mister Malfoy."
During the war, Draco Malfoy was forced to do some horrid things. With the death of his parents at Voldemort's hands at the end of it all, and then the defeat of the Death Eaters at Hogwarts, it was all over… or so he thought.
He would wake up in a cold sweat for months after that day in his family's manor. They had captured Potter, but no-one knew it was him. In hindsight, he believed Hermione Granger had done something to mask his appearance.
But that wasn't what bothered Draco.
His aunt knew of his past with the mudblood. Bellatrix Lestrange wanted him to kill her. But even though he thought the girl beneath him, and even though he didn't really care either way, if she lived or died, he couldn't do it. That was when his father came into the room and forced him to rape her instead. It was either that or he would kill her, and Bellatrix would torture Draco for the rest of the day.
Draco didn't want to do that either. Touch a filthy mudblood and come inside of her? Over the years, he'd seen his father commit many an atrocity, including raping virgins, casting cruccio on them until they no longer screamed, and then killing them swiftly as though it was just another day at the office. His desire had only increased since the Dark Lord's return.
But again, just like that night on the Astronomy Tower, with Dumbledore, Draco let his conscience take over. He would spare her the horror that his father would otherwise inflict on her, and never beg her for her forgiveness.
She was magically lashed to a wall, unable to defend herself as he pounded her, his father and Bellatrix watching with pure delight and barely contained lust like the voyeurs they were. He would never forget the way the only girl of the golden trio screamed. She was still raw and bleeding from the torture inflicted on her by Bellatrix, and not ten minutes before Potter and the Weasel arrived to free them using Dobby's apparation technique, Draco Malfoy made her bleed again.
She was a virgin.
She was a fucking virgin!
It wasn't like he was surprised, given her extracurricular activities during their Hogwarts years, but with Bellatrix whispering in his ear to "show the filthy mudblood who her masters are" and his father threatening worse onto the Gryffindor, he honestly didn't stop to wonder if this would be her first time. He should have, he knew this, considering how his father was practically salivating at the mouth to be the one to do her instead.
And now, here he stood, in front of the Wizengamot, asked for his deposition on all the things he'd witnessed while a prisoner in his own home. They didn't ask him about the events during the year while he was at Hogwarts, but he supposed that there were plenty more "credible" witnesses to get the dirt on how bad it had been there. For now, they were only interested in hearing about the times he'd been forced to watch as Bellatrix tortured and killed, as well as how his father had periodically raped her victims before she cast the Avada Kedavra, as he'd had his wand taken from him by Voldemort.
And then they asked just him what he had done.
Some of the members of the Wizengamot were looking at him with thoroughly knowing eyes, as if they'd already gotten all the details and were just testing to see if he would admit to it.
So he decided to tell the truth. He lowered his eyes to the floor and told them everything, his voice barely above a whisper. He didn't have the Dementors to fear anymore, if sent to Azkaban. He'd overheard that Kingsley had pushed and shoved until they were removed. And more than that, Draco wanted to get it off his chest. He'd already explained the horrific ways in which his father had killed after raping and torturing, along with the other atrocities, so they'd understand why he raped Granger, right?
He was trying to spare her.
But he must have known that once he was done, Bellatrix or his father would kill her anyway, right? It had not honestly occurred to him that they would. His aunt had said something about wanting a mudblood slave shortly before bringing Hermione to him. So consciously, he'd believed she'd be kept around, to be made an example of. She was Harry Potter's best friend after all.
The Wizengamot kept quiet during his confession, just watching him.
He choked out the words when explaining that he'd raped her, trying to convey how much he hadn't wanted to do it. Not because she was filthy to him, but because his father wanted her and preferred if she were virginal. He would not have hesitated to kill her after having had his way, no matter what Bellatrix wanted.
He had saved her. Didn't they see that?
But he didn't beg for forgiveness, he only expressed hatred for what he'd been forced to do and never once asked not to be sent to Azkaban. Of course, he had killed during the war, accidentally though. The Dark Lord considered him weak because he would always lower his wand, but this one time, he'd actually used the Imperius curse on him, keeping his wand up and pointed at the Muggle family. This was before Potter had taken his wand, and obviously before his mother had loaned him hers.
But he wouldn't pretend not to be guilty. He and Voldemort had killed that family together.
Draco kept his eyes on the floor as he told his story, and once he'd finished, lifted his head to look up into Kingsley Shacklebolt's face, seeing only pity and concern on his face. He was eighteen years old, and had been an adult for more than a year, but the way the minister was looking at him indicated they were all thinking of him as a child who had been abused, tormented, and coerced. He wasn't some blood thirsty loyalist who was spouting stupid slogans or promising retribution. He wasn't even a begging Death Eater just trying to keep themselves out of Azkaban.
He was the only Malfoy in the world, the only person left alive who had seen any of Bellatrix's actions in the Malfoy manor or that of any other Death Eaters who had come around during the war. He realised suddenly what those "knowing eyes" had actually been conveying. It wasn't that they'd known what he'd done, but what he'd been through. They didn't want to send him to Azkaban, they didn't want to punish him for the things he'd been forced to do. But now that his attack on one of the golden trio was "out there", some of them were musing amongst themselves on what to do about that.
The Wizengamot members stared down at him, reiterating his crimes and his "status". Then Kingsley ordered the guards to unshackle him. He was free to go. He was also thoroughly confused.
The dark man peered down at him, reminding Draco of the late Albus Dumbledore. "It seems your actions have resulted in the suffering of a well known heroine, but I will let her decide your fate, rather than make a record of what happened that day. Dismissed Mister Malfoy."
That was how Draco found himself face to face with Hermione Granger, outside of the doors to Courtroom Ten. She didn't look like she'd been waiting long, like she'd been nearby all along. All of a sudden, the damn broke inside of him, and he couldn't stop the tears as she stared at him. She wasn't smiling, but there was no vicious glare as she appraised him.
"I heard what you said," she said softly, a minute later, "in front of the Wizengamot."
She'd been in the room? But he hadn't seen her.
She sighed. "I can't begin to know what it was like for you to grow up with that family of yours," she said sternly. "But I know what you did to me, Draco, and that is something that is just unforgivable."
He nodded his head, lowering his eyes to the ground once more. He heard her sigh deeply.
"But after what you said, I can see why you did what you did, even if I still hate you for it. Your father wouldn't have whispered 'I'm sorry' in my ear before violating me. He wouldn't have let me keep my clothes on, and he certainly wouldn't have covered my body from the prying eyes of the others in the room. He would have laughed and tormented me."
Hermione really didn't want to yell and cuss at Draco, but she had to make him understand. "But… there's no taking it back, and there is no forgiveness for your family name."
Draco swallowed heavily, not surprised. He didn't deserve it, he knew. But what else was he supposed to do? He supposed he could've refused to touch her, but what would that have done to her?
"But Draco, look at me."
His head snapped up as he realised suddenly that she had been using his given name, and not Malfoy. Why?
Hermione managed a half hearted smile. "I know your father would've done worse to me, so I'm giving you a once in a lifetime 'get out of jail free card'."
What was that?
She couldn't bring herself to stand any closer to him however, and kept her distance in order to keep her own emotions at bay.
"Draco," she said evenly. "I forgive you."
X X X
A/N: Okay, so I couldn't help myself and made Hermione forgive him after all. So I guess it's mildly happy.
Anyway, what did you think? Tell me if it was good or bad, I don't care, but constructive criticism only please. :)