River was still painting her toes a nice shade of purple when she heard the familiar wheezing of the TARDIS begin to echo in the hallway. She checked her watch. 20:30. He was a half hour early. He was never, ever, early.

She heard his shoes tapping on the floor of the corridor, and suddenly, he was there. Right there. Watching her paint her toe nails. She flushed.

"Well, River, I'd assumed you'd be ready for me. This is the right day, yes?"

"You are half an hour early."

The Doctor checked his watch and frowned, tapping the clock face, "Yes, I suppose you're right. Perhaps I got a bit antsy. It gets awful trying to wait a full twenty four hours to see you."

"It would've only been sixteen!" River grabbed a towel and started rubbing it through her hair, getting out the excess moisture from her shower. There were only half the toes on her left foot left to paint, and she figured they could wait. But they still needed to dry. "What did you do to get my parents asleep so early?"

"We went hiking in the Sahara Desert, climbed an Egyptian pyramid, and I crushed tons of Benadryl into their food. Oh, don't give me that look."

River stared at him with her mouth open, "You drugged my parents?"

"It was just Benadryl. And a tiny bit of Nyquil. Honestly, they were acting far too awake, they were going to need sleep," the Doctor crossed his arms, looking miffed. "You should be flattered."

"You are insane, sweetie." And with that, River flipped her hair and finished the last toenail, screwing the bottle of nail polish shut. The Doctor walked around her cell, making a few clicks with his tongue. "Where will we be going for our second date, Doctor?"

"Oh, where else? We're going to be getting totally and completely pissed."

River laughed as she started applying her make up in the mirror. "You don't even like alcohol. Couldn't even take a sip of wine."

"I'm not a fan of wine. Wine is awful. However, moonshine is divine," the Doctor found a feather boa in River's tiny closet and wrapped it around his neck, "Do you have any sunglasses to go with this ensemble?"

River rolled her eyes and popped the top off of her tube of lipstick, twisting it up until the Doctor grabbed it out of her hand. "What do you think you are doing, Doctor?"

"Sweetie. Call me sweetie. And you are not putting on lipstick. The last time you did that, I looked like a royal fool in front of your parents, and the TARDIS does awful laundry. Not a single detergent with stain-fighting power. My shirt is going to be stuck with that lip print until I burn it in a super nova."

River pouted, "Oh, you're planning on burning it? That's rather mean for you, Doctor. I thought you'd keep it in case you didn't mind having a shirt ripped. Or even covered in more lipstick." She winked at him, turning back to her mirror and fluffing her curls a bit. Her eyes met his reflection in the mirror. He was grinning. He put his hands on her shoulders, his thumbs pressing firmly on her shoulder blades.

"I know you mustn't like America. Bad memories. Utah and the spaceman and the alleyways of Miami. But we won't go there. We'll go somewhere more adventurous." River leaned into his hands, her eyes closed.

"Doctor, are you drugging me like you drugged my parents?"

He smirked, "Only if you let me."

The Doctor let the TARDIS float in space while he and River got ready. There were so many wardrobes in the ship, it was hard to keep track. Luckily, the one full of men's clothes had exactly what he needed up front, a three-piece pinstripe suit, a cigar, and a fedora. Grabbing a navy tie, he tied it into a little bow and blew a kiss to himself in the mirror. He looked rather dashing. Perhaps dashing enough to get the blushing bride River Song to accompany him in the Charleston.

He bit the cigar and winked in the mirror before walking out. "Oy, River! Are you done yet?"

"You're one to talk, you were in there for a full twenty minutes. I had to put on a garter and stockings. You just had to pull on some pants." River leaned against the console, a big grin on her face. The Doctor noticed that she'd found some red lipstick while changing. Oh, she was a clever girl.

She had a long, brown, wool coat on that went down to about her knees, with fur lining the collar. A light blue dress with a black belt cinched right her waist, and a hemline that stopped just below her knees. And her stocking-clad feet in a pair of clunky, brown heels. She looked almost period appropriate, if she wasn't eyeing him up-and-down and licking her lips.

"What a shame. You put all that time into painting those toes of yours, and now you have to cover them up in those heels," the Doctor teased, pulling up close to her. River looked up at him through her lashes and grinned.

"What a shame. You look so charming in that fedora, I can't bring myself to shoot it off your head."

The Doctor grinned and wiggled his eyebrows, before leaning in close. Her eyes fluttered closed as the Doctor pushed her into the console to pull a lever. Then he pulled away and tried not to laugh at her angered expression.

"Yes, thank you, for not ruining another great piece of head gear. Now, my wonderful girls," he smirked when the TARDIS hummed her approval, "let's get something to drink, alright?" And he slammed his hand on a tiny, red button.

The streets of New York City were still quite busy, even in 1927 and closing in on ten o'clock. The Doctor's hand was wrapped tightly around River's, which were wrapped up in a pair of warm leather gloves. It was January 15th, and it was just about to snow. The crowd passed by with breaths of white smoke. Tobacco and the sting of cold invaded their nostrils as the Doctor weaved in and out of streets until they were in an alleyway, and he gave four, quick raps on a door.

A section slid open, and a pair of eyes looked at them through the window, "Invitation?"

The Doctor held up his psychic paper and gave a goofy smile. The guard's eyes shifted to River, who gave a wink. The shutter closed and the door opened, showing a room cloaked in smoke, jazz, and laughter. The Doctor grabbed at River's hand, bringing her through and weaving through the crowd.

River made small coughs, not used to the smoke, "How can you breathe in here?" she rasped.

"Oh right. I keep forgetting how far in the future you're from. I doubt anyone smokes in the fiftieth century. I, however, got my first companion on Earth in the 60's. Everyone smoked. She always smoked. I, myself, could never turn away a good cigar." He winked and put a cigar in his mouth, not lighting it. He swaggered up to the bar and called the bartender over.

"Can I get a nice glass of hooch for my dame and myself?" He gave a stupid grin at the bartender while River rolled her eyes and looked around the bar. The roaring '20's. The speakeasy was filled with upper and middle class men and women, along with the handful of flappers who were smoking their small stubs of cigarettes through their cigarette holders. A few of the older women looked somewhat scandalized as a woman with pants walked by, and a rather drunk man in a skirt giggled and waved at her in the corner.

River pursed her lips.

"Here you go! Don't burn your throat out, eh?" The Doctor grinned and took a swig of the amber liquid that quarter-way filled his glass. He coughed and cleared his throat, blinking a couple tears away. "Whew, I forgot how much that hurts." Then he took another swig.

River took a sniff at the hooch and scrunched up her nose, "This stuff isn't drinkable!"

"It's perfectly. It just burns a bit. Made in a shed in, hrm," he took another sip, "Southern Maine. Oh, bless their hearts. Working with their backs against the wall against a dry government, for the good of the American people." He winked at her and leaned in close, and she could smell the tiniest bit of liquor on his breath, "And bless those good cops who refuse bribes."

River scrunched up her eyebrows, "What are you talking about."

"Nothing, my dear girl. Now, put your drink on the bar, let's do a little dancing. It's been a while since I've done a Charleston."

She simply could not keep up to the girls in their beaded minidresses, her own skirt being a tad constricting, and soon she was off dancing with another man while the Doctor glared at the back of his head. River had taken to glaring at the cute little woman who had managed to seduce the Doctor with her promise of new dance moves. She did have some great moves, at one point, the Doctor swung her underneath his legs, but it still left River with a bad taste in her throat.

"My name's Violet. What's your name, handsome?" her New York accent was quite endearing, the Doctor had to admit. He always got quite endeared to new things.

"Violet. What a pretty name. I'm the Doctor."

"Oh Doctor," Violet smiled at him through her red lips and heavily rouged cheeks. She hopped along with his steps and he twirled her around. Her beaded dress clattered against itself as she twirled in close to him before he twirled her back out, stepping behind her. They walked forward and backwards together, dipping forward. He'd forgotten how many steps there were to this whole dancing craze. Honestly.

Thankfully the music changed, allowing him to catch his breath and focus on more than not stepping on her feet. Violet seemed less pouted as they began to step side-to-side, going back and forth in small circles.

"My my," she murmured, "It's not often that I know someone who knows The Baltimore. Are you some sort of secret dance professional?" She batted her eyelids, "Or do you just get happy feet when you get a little drunk?"

The Doctor grinned and chuckled, looking up to see how his own date was faring. A man in his late thirties was currently holding her a tad too close as they chatted amiably. They moved in a small circle, and he grew just the tiniest bit jealous when her head fell back and she laughed.

When the music picked up again, he let Violet take the lead. Half of his mind was on the dance steps, the other half being how River fared with her strange dance partner.

Frank had been a wonderful gentleman as he danced with her. No awkward kicking in her too-long skirt, just quick steps that she could keep up to. He had a great smile, and his rough voice made her feel like he was safe, someone he could trust. And he had the prettiest blue eyes she had ever seen. That was probably why the bartender referred to him as Old Blue Eyes.

He seemed to know the song as well as he knew how to dance, because when the trombone and saxophone took off, her lifted her in the air in a tiny twirl until she was overcome with giggles. She knew she was blushing. She never went to bars during university, and rarely had anyone flirt with her except the Doctor. And she knew how he flirted, inside and out.

This was new. She liked it.

She also liked, when occasionally she ripped her attention from Frank and his hilarious stories, the glare the Doctor gave Frank inbetween grins and goofy commentary with the tiny flapper. Really, the girl dancing with the Doctor was the further from River as she could be. Short and petite, with chopped, straight, brown hair. And she was so cute.

River liked to think she was sexier. The next time the Doctor looked up, she gave a wink. He blushed.

The music wore on, and both the Doctor and River found new dancing partners. Drinking more and more hooch as they went on, when they finally found each other, they were both maybe just the tiniest bit drunk.

And the Doctor could not handle his liquor.

He leaned in to kiss her more often than she could count as the band went through their final song of the night. A nice, slow song. She managed to dodge each one. Really, a drunk Doctor was a bit less appealing than one might think. He got just the tiniest bit more loud, the tiniest bit bolder in his actions, and was the tiniest bit making a fool of himself.

A good amount of patrons were beginning to order orange juice from the bar before heading off. The Doctor had nothing to worry about, he kept telling her inbetween sips, the TARDIS wouldn't crash. He could drink as much as he wanted.

To be honest, she was enjoying it. Resting her cheek on his shoulder, she giggled as his words began to edge together. It took a lot to get him drunk, she had to admit, but once he was drunk, he was just sloshed.

"And then the, those little people! In a robot! I shtill, shtill, still can't believe it. I can't believe people bought that. It's almost as interesting as that time when the Georgenia's on Keplecta Six did their whole moon dance thing and the forests shift over four meters to the right and then shuffle to the left and jump three times. And then they clap their branches!"

"You aren't making sense, sweetie. You're drunk."

"Oh, come here, you," and he grabbed her face in his hands and giving her a kiss. Despite the alcohol she could easily taste on his lips, he was gentler than she expected. She was just about to let herself kiss him back when she became aware of something. His back had stiffened, and he'd stopped swaying with the music. She opened one eye and saw his eyes were wide open, but not looking at her. She pulled away.

"What's wrong?" River whispered, turning to where the Doctor was looking. He looked a lot more sober. So sober, in fact, that she had the sinking suspicion he'd faked being intoxicated this entire time. Oh, she hated him.

"Well. The NYPD are here. Are they called the NYPD yet? Well, the coppers are here." He grinned like a child who just got a king size candy bar, "Oh, I knew this would be exciting." He jerked out of her hold, grabbing her hand and briskly walking to the back wall of the bar, waving his sonic around, while occasionally looking back at the entrance.

"River, can you watch the door? And the bartender. Oop, nevermind." The Doctor opened a door that had been hidden and pulled her in with him, closing the door. As soon as it snapped shut, they heard the police enter and the commotion that came with such things. A few yells, a few bottles breaking, and a few people being arrested. River sat down on the floor, slipping her feet out of her clunky heels, and rubbing her sore feet.

"I'm not used to wearing heels, I'll be honest with you. Much less dancing with them."

"It can't be too hard. Violet danced with them so easily. And she was doing much more complicated dancing than you were." The Doctor ignored River's glare as he began to sonic his way around the secret room, running it along the wooden walls. "I can't get a single reading. The sonic is rubbish with wood."

"It doesn't work on wood?" she hissed, and kicked at his lower calf, "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Did you not have trees on Gallifrey?"

"Our trees were different. Why does Earth even have wood? It catches on fire so ea-" a loud banging on the wall cut him off, and they both looked at the hidden door, waiting for it to slide open and break their cover. River held her breath, looking at the Doctor with wide eyes. She looked angry.

"You knew this was going to happen," she breathed, and the Doctor put a finger to his lips, trying to shh her. She kept whispering, "You knew this was going to happen and you did it anyway. What is this, a game to you?"

The Doctor grinned at her and got on his knees to whisper in her ear, "No. But it is very fun."

They waited in the hidden room for two hours while the police cleared out the liquor and taped off the premises, with River glaring at the Doctor for most of the time. The rest of the time was spent massaging her feet. They were well calloused from her studies at the Lunar Academy, but the constant weight on her front pads led to an annoying ache. Luckily she wasn't likely to get any blisters.

The Doctor sat across from her and swatted her hands away. She scowled at him and hit his wrists in retaliation, "What do you think you're doing, Doctor?"

"You're doing it wrong," the Doctor again made an attempt to grab her feet, and she kicked him away.

"I think I know how to massage my own feet, thank you very much."

"Oh please, I'm 1108. I'm sure I'm far better at massages than you will ever be," and with that, he grabbed her left foot and pulled it into his lap. He smiled at her, "Honestly, put a little trust into me. You're acting like an idiot."

River scoffed at him while he rubbed her calf muscles as he scolded her playfully, "Now, just relax. This won't hurt a bit. In fact, it'll feel quite good." River sighed and relaxed her legs, watching at the Doctor moved her hands down to the sole of her foot and pressed, really hard, on her arch.

River yelped and kicked out, getting the Doctor in the groin while she flexed her toes. The Doctor doubled over while she screeched at him.

"Why would you do that? Oh my God I am going to have the worst toe cramps. Ahh..!" River rubbed her feet and glared daggers at her husband, who was currently blinking away tears.

"Okay. Perhaps human anatomy and the anatomy of the Grunoghies are different," he wheezed, "but you didn't have to kick me!"

"Oh boo hoo. Just take me back to Stormcage where I can get a nurse to come look at my foot. Why did you press so hard? I'm going to have a bruise! A bruise! On the bottom of my foot!"

"I am never going to be able to walk right again," the Doctor replied, but he looked mostly recovered. The angle River had kicked at had been too severe to cause too much damage.

"Oh, I hate you."

"No you don't. Come on, let's go back to the TARDIS. I think all the police are gone. We'll get you a warm tub to put your footsies in." He grinned and everything was forgiven, despite River's tender foot, as she took his arm. He raised his sonic and found a second door, which led to another back alleyway, and they began their walk.

The TARDIS was very welcoming, with a small tub of warm water for River to put her feet in. Her toes were red from standing and dancing in her heels for so long, and it made the purple nail polish look much less flattering. The Doctor sat next to her as they floated through space, as River had calmed down and asked not to go to Stormcage just yet.

"Really, I'm sorry. I had no idea that the human foot was so fragile. Perhaps I should've known that, considering my own doctorate," the Doctor mused, "My professors were rubbish, though."

River chuckled and leaned against his shoulder, moving her feet back and forth and making small waves. The Doctor took her hand and kissed it, looking straight ahead instead of at her. A light pink highlighted his cheekbones.

"You know, most of my companions aren't the smartest people in the world. They're very young, with not much experience. Then I take them up in the TARDIS, and they see all of these unbelievable things, and go back to their lives like normal. But you, you don't really have much of a life outside of me, do you?" The Doctor gave her a cheeky grin when she pushed on his shoulder.

"No, sweetie, I don't, really. You know, with my doctorate, I could become a professor myself. Teach in a huge lecture hall all day and make more money than I know what to do with. Then my life wouldn't have me revolving around you."

"Oh? Planning on teaching those prison guards how to archaeology? Send them off to find ancient artifacts while you escape your cell with me?"

"Tell me, sweetie. Do you plan on just talking all night about nothing?"

The Doctor cleared his throat and looked at River with wide eyes, who just grinned at him. He smiled and looked at the tub of water, "No. No. We can talk about archaeology some more. Oh wait, I think that's still nothing." He peered up at her.

"Oh, shut up," and she grabbed his tie and pulled him in for a kiss. He grinned against the kiss, his hands wrapping up in her curls. River bit at his lower lip and he heard a low groan, which he was sure was from his own throat. Oh River, she knew him far too well.

He wasn't sure how it happened, how he ended up pinned to the wall of the TARDIS, or how her hands were halfway done with taking his jacket off, but he was A-OK with the whole deal. In fact, perhaps she could do without the powder blue jacket River herself was wearing. They both stopped their kissing for a moment to slip their respective jackets off their arms and onto the floor.

A shower of sparks erupted from under the console, and both of them barely batted an eyelash before going back to their kissing. The Doctor barely registered the eruption of chaos happening just ten feet away from him when River's hands slipped under his braces and edged them over his shoulders. And her blouse was just about to be ripped off when a fuzzy creature ran into their legs.

The Doctor jolted and held River's shoulders when he looked down. River followed his gaze, and they both watched as a cat galloped away from them and back under the console.

"Hey!" The Doctor yelled, jerking forward, bringing his braces back over his shoulders as he ran after the four-legged feline, who was torturing his beloved ship. "Shoo! Shoo! Get out of here!" he yelled, scaring the cat deeper into a jungle of cables.

River leaned back against the wall and laughed, her giggled echoing along the walls of the console room. The Doctor threw her a glare over his shoulder.

"River! What do you think is so funny?"

River shrugged and smiled, still laughing, "Really? The great Doctor, the last Timelord, and he's being cockblocked by an alley cat from New York?"

The Doctor frowned and pointed at River before pointing back at the cat, who was about to bite another cord, "Don't touch that! I'll have you know, there were no cats on Gallifrey, and I loathe cats. Cats bring awful luck." He ducked as another shower of sparks came down, and he yelled at the cat, "She doesn't like that! Stop biting her!"

The Doctor was loathe to admit it, but after a difficult time of untangling a cat from the ancient wiring and resisting the urge to throw it out into space, River's ribs hurt from laughing so hard, and she wasn't quite in the snogging mood anymore. The cat was deposited in an alley in New York and both River and the Doctor took the time to look around the TARDIS for any other stray animals.

"That was an exciting second date, sweetie. Will there be many more like that?" She smiled, sitting down on her cot. The Doctor just grinned at her.

"Did you have much fun?"

"Yes, I did. Did you?"

"The cat put a damper on things, I'm not sure we'll be going back to New York after that."

"Oh, there's much worse things than cats in New York. For example, a rat the size of a cat."

The Doctor shrugged and threw his sonic screwdriver in the air, letting it spin in a few circles before falling into his hand, "You're much too picky. Rats are much easier to communicate with than cats."

River laughed and the Doctor felt almost embarrassed, so he began to step back inside the TARDIS.

"No, you be a good girl, River. If you're lucky, we can get you out of here in only 10,000 consecutive life sentences."

River winked, "Oh, what's the fun in that?"

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