az: Partially inspired from that one scene in Hunter's Heart where Mithian told Merlin that Arthur valued his opinions over all else. And end up spiraling into a partial what-if reveal!fic. Well, a faint hint of it anyway.

Was something typed out without thinking, so feel free to mention if there was anything strange sounding.

Edit: Fixed the part about the dragons since belatedly realized that I forgot to change the part after Secrets was written.

Vigil

Written by Izzu alias honou-no-izumi

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He never would have imagined from that very first moment he met Merlin that he would end up being so attached to him to the point that it would hurt so much at the thought that he could lose him any time. Because honestly, who would want to be close friends with someone so rude, so clumsy, so... annoying... and just about everything you would not have wanted in a friend to be your friend? And honestly, who would be friends with their own servants? It just was not done!

He used to think like that, but because of Merlin... he realised that rank, nobility, the place you were born, the type of person you were born as... as well as many other things that the society dictated, did not matter when it comes to forging new friendships. Had he remained as who he used to be in the past before meeting him, he would not have had Gwen, Lancelot, Elyan, Gwaine, Percival... and of course Merlin as amongst his greatest allies.

It was because of Merlin...

Not sure when, but he did somehow grew to value Merlin's opinions about everything in his life. Somehow his opinions stood as important as the opinions of the many other people he had highly respected in the past. Pretty impressive actually for a mere servant. Even though Merlin often complained that he did not always listen to any of his words.

Well, occasionally he did listen... though god-forbid would he ever admitted that to Merlin. He could not allow Merlin to feel any bit superior over him. His pride would not allow it. But occasionally he regretted, whenever Merlin's words of caution ended up to be true—the words of caution that he dismissed—and he wondered if things could have ended up differently if he had not dismissed any of them so rashly. Despite that he would always wonder, how did Merlin always been able to find out all of these things that happened without anyone else noticing? He always wondered... and then, when it was found out... he finally understood.

Though occasionally he could not always be sure on whether or not he should listen to anything that Merlin say. Like when Merlin said that he was a prat, or that he was fat... or any other nicknames Merlin seemed to like to paste onto him. Had those been spoken by Morgana—back when they used to be on good terms with each other—he would not have taken them seriously. Or Gwen... though she would have preferred to have Merlin be the one to say it. Not sure why, but whenever Merlin said anything to him... he really felt compelled to believe it to be true. Thus he occasionally felt angry at Merlin to make himself feel overly conscious about himself to think that he had grown fat or something else without noticing. Because he could not imagine Merlin to be capable of telling a lie...

"You have no idea how many times have I saved your backside."

He had always dismissed all of that as Merlin's silly jokes. Because all of these times he always thought that he was the one who had always protected Merlin. Who would have thought it was the other way around? A lot of things that Merlin had said in the past that he always dismissed as excuses for Merlin not doing his job as his manservant—looking back, had those things have been true? How could he be so oblivious all these times to not notice—but perhaps it was because of Merlin's circumstances that he had been able to learn of the many threats that had befallen Camelot in the past.

"I almost died..."

Suddenly now he wondered how many times Merlin had risked his own life to save his, aside from the few times when he was aware of it—seeing as to how often Merlin insist to remind him that there were plenty of times of that happening—he wondered what could be the reason for Merlin to do that for him. For the most parts he wondered why, since he could guess that Merlin's first impression of him would be of an idiotic prince, a bully... or just plain arrogant. He still remembered how Merlin used to appear to dislike him so much—he could still remember the look Merlin gave when his father had decreed for him to be his manservant. Must have been what his own face would look like.

Certainly that was not reason enough for Merlin to want to always protect him from harm. Considering his father had been persecuting people who have magic like Merlin since as far as he could remember. And Merlin did—a few times—also saved his father's life other than his. Even if the last attempt did not work out so well. Thinking back, it was odd for Merlin to do that for his father given the circumstances.

Strange as that was the main thing that he was mostly concerned about right now, and not the fact that Merlin had always been able to use magic... or the fact that there were two dragons—that should not have existed still—appearing to be very much alive and not extinct and had been freely prowling inside his kingdom, unwatched. Despite the latter two issues should have been his main concerns, considering the law his father had enacted against magic, its users as well as the related magical creatures.

Somehow he realized that all of that was not important—because that belief that all magic users were evil are wrong and that it was wrong to kill people who just happened to have magic when they did nothing to hurt anyone. Or that it was not right for them to take the life of any other magical creatures just because they were magical. For some reason now, he was actually strangely relieved that there were still magical creatures around! Not just of the unicorns... but also the dragons...

And now... instead of wanting to kill Merlin for being a sorcerer or the fact that Merlin had lied to him for so long; for hiding these facts from him all these times, he only wanted for Merlin to live... and to always be by his side till the day he die. That was not such a selfish wish... if he could say so himself.

Merlin had been—always been—one of his most important friends. Merlin had always treated him as himself, not because he was a royalty but because he was Arthur. He would bite his tongue if ever Merlin finds out about these thoughts... or maybe, he just would not care.

When Lancelot died, he had felt that hurt. Even though he have not known the man for so long. If Merlin should die...

He thought his life was going to end so soon, that his reign as king of Camelot would be so short... when Morgana had cornered him with no escape route to avoid her finishing blow. But then Merlin had appeared from nowhere and received the hit instead, before—to his surprise—suddenly retaliating with his own magic to counter hers. And it appeared that Morgana was also so surprised over that revelation—he wondered when again their paths would cross after this—that she was thrown away from the attack. The battle had abruptly ceased for the day... before another one would come later. He would worry about those future battles another time but still...

Merlin had gotten himself gravely hurt during this one. And somehow he wondered if he would still be able to remain victorious without Merlin by his side.

How silly. To think how much impact Merlin had done to his life. All these times. To lose him now...

Arthur sighed to himself before clasping Merlin's hand into his own, tightly. It seemed ridiculous for him to start feeling as if he was about to cry when he had told Merlin not to do so in the past. That no one should be worth one's tears... but perhaps there are exceptions to that. Because right now, Merlin was not his servant. He was his friend.

To be able to see Merlin smile clumsily at him again, or call him names or teasing him that he needed to lose weight, that would be something precious and worth waiting for. He would not have given that up for any other treasures in the world. As much as he would not give Gwen up for any other trivial reasons...

Arthur fell into an uneasy sleep, as he continued praying for Merlin's life. It would be a few more hours later—at which by then, he would have already fallen into a deep sleep—when a frail hand barely caress his hair and faintly scolded the dollop-head who should be heading back into his own bedroom and not sleeping on the wrong side of someone else's bed.