Author's Rant: Yeah, I know it's weird to see an update to this story, but I had to this time.

Dear Fans of Fanfiction

Just write the story. Go ahead and write Sasuke butt bumping me if that's what makes your chaka purr. I've learned to deal with it after seeing over half a million of you love to read it in secret, while checking over your shoulders every few seconds to make sure no one sees how much I'm enjoying my ass being abused by a class-rank-criminal-now-turned-alley.

What I can't deal with though. . . is your having to listen to how much you love your boyfriend. Call me crazy but I thought that kind of stuff was saved for that freaky community site that uses a form of crazy jutsu to connect with people from the other nations.

We don't care! It's bad enough I wake up knowing my day is going to turn into a marathon of "Come fuck me, Sasuke" but damn. I gotta sit there and read that before getting to the good. . . erm. . . I mean bad stuff.

Signed Naruto

P.S. Believe it, I meant bad not good. Nothing good can come from fucking Sasuke.

P.S.S. Not that I really care, CAUSE I DON'T, but. . . whoever the hell these magically powerful girls are you keep matching me and my friends up with, cut that shit out too. We don't want to be your boyfriends.

Stop living your freakish fantasies through us.

Go get a real man.

Just don't tell us about it.

TBC: Stop putting your personal business out there. It's not cute. If you really must, update it on your profile. At least that way people have the option to skip over it instead of it wasting chapter space. I'm not gonna apologize for this one as I haven't with theothers. That's what these letters are meant for. Either take them as a learning experience or something to smirk at. OK, the story is really retired this time. ^_^