Thank you for your patients and responses to this piece of fiction. I hope you enjoy the conclusion as much as you have the beginning.
Chapter 3 Pas de deux
The courage that Tom had felt when he had left the holodeck, seemed to be ebbing away as fast as the turbo lift was carrying him towards his destination. With every deck that flew past Tom wondered if he was doing the right thing. Thinking that this should be easy now he knew her true feelings, Tom continued to convince himself all the way to her deck. As the turbo lift doors opened he stepped out slowly, looking around to check that the coast was clear before venturing any further. Seeing that the deck was currently empty Tom moved down the corridor, but with far less haste than he had been in previously. For whatever Tom knew now it didn't change the fact that she was still his Captain, if he was going to do this, he was going to have to be smart about it.
Kathryn had gone back to her quarters and climbed straight into her bath, it was something she always did after using that particular holodeck program. She had tried to convince herself that it wasn't because she felt unclean in anyway, it just helped relax her after such activities. She had to convince herself about a lot of things recently. Command decisions were one thing, she always questioned those privately, but personal ones. Sighing Kathryn stepped out of the bath, knowing that personal decisions had not really been a factor in her life until quite recently. Wrapping a towel around her wet hair Kathryn made her way into the living room and pulled on her night gown. Rubbing the towel through her freshly washed hair she could smell the shampoo that she had used, but it was not the only sent lingering on her. The nightgown still held the scent of Tom Paris, the faint masculine smell making her tingle slightly as she rubbed more moisture out of her hair, and considered changing her sleep wear for the evening.
Walking over to the mirror, Kathryn looked at herself, it was her face her eyes, but she seemed different somehow. The meeting with Tom outside the holodeck was playing on her mind. She had known that she had been acting strange, and it certainly had not gone unnoticed by her handsome helmsman. At that moment she had made the decision to stop using the programme, or to at least create a character that wasn't one of her subordinates. Now standing here she knew she didn't want to do either of those things. The time she had on the holodeck would not be the same if it were not Tom she was sharing it with, and Kathryn decided it was worth the feelings of guilt for what she got in return. Running a comb through her hair Kathryn allowed it to flow around her shoulders still damp to the touch but she decided she would leave it and let it dry naturally for once. Moving back into the living room she walked over to the window and watched as the stars streaked passed.
The door chime made her jump, it wasn't late but she had not been expecting anyone, turning and calling out for the person to enter, Kathryn forgot her own state of undress as she watched the doors part for her visitor. Her breath caught for a moment, her stance momentarily weakened by the sight of Tom Paris standing just inside her threshold.
"Evening Captain." He said sounding as ordinary as he could as he watched her carefully trying to gauge her reaction to him.
"Evening Tom, what can I do for you." Her voice came out with a practiced calm, something that was second nature to her now, even if her heart was hammering so hard inside her chest. She thought it might break free at any moment.
"I was wondering if you fancied a game of pool on the holodeck, I was going to go climbing, but I didn't feel like it in the end." Tom said moving forward so he was now stood centre of the room. Kathryn had not moved, she remained passively looking at him as he stepped into her space. Letting out a small sigh at the friendly question Kathryn allowed herself to relax slightly and a small smile formed on her face.
"I am afraid Mr Paris that I am not exactly dressed for the occasion, neither do I have any intention of getting changed now. So I will have to decline your offer." She said holding the smile as Tom ran his eyes down her form. Kathryn felt a familiar shiver run through her body, but she ignored it, settling instead for a slight cock of the eyebrow.
"I don't know Captain, I think it looks good on you." Tom said knowing he was walking a fine line here, but he had seen her shiver under his gaze and he wasn't about to back down now. Kathryn was slightly taken back by his obvious attempts at flirting, it was something she had seen in him before, but it had never been directed at her. It also seemed strange that he was still here. Usually when he asked her for a game of pool and she decline he would quickly bid her good night and be on his way. This time was different and it had been from the moment he walked in.
"Perhaps, but still not suitable attire for playing pool in." Kathryn finally managed to get out as Tom continued to stand in front of her and look down at her with a small smile on his face.
"So do you have anything nice planned for the evening then Captain?" Tom enquired and as Kathryn was about to answer her lips snapped closed. He knows she thought, he knows about the programme, but it has lock out protocols. Only I can open them, and even if he tried she would have been alerted.
"I didn't lock it." Kathryn didn't even realise she had said the last part out loud until Tom replied to her whispering.
"No you didn't, and I am sorry I looked but when I saw myself, I just couldn't help it." Tom said now looking down at his shoes and trying to avoid her gaze for the first time that night.
"How could you. Tom how dare you that was my private programme, you had no right to look at it." Kathryn said a mixture between anger and embarrassment in her voice.
"I can't believe you would betray my trust like that." She said shaking her head slightly, as Tom lifted his gaze to hers and they locked eyes.
"Your trust, you were using my image, if it had been anyone else I would have turned away, but when I saw myself in that bed." Tom finished the sentence there, letting the thought hang in the air as Kathryn squared her shoulders.
"Fine I know it was wrong to use your image, let me assure you it won't happen again." Kathryn said trying to keep her voice calm and level. They both had sins to atone for here, perhaps they could apologise for their mistakes and leave it there.
"That's not the point Kathryn, I didn't come here to tell you off for using my image." Tom said obviously unwilling to just leave it there and Kathryn snapped her head up at the use of her first name.
"Then why come here Tom, to see if I was willing to progress from the holodeck, or maybe to just give your ego a rub." Kathryn bit out, anger was a far easier and familiar emotion to deal with right now, and Tom was doing a good job of pushing her buttons.
"No, not really I wanted to know why me, why use my image?" Tom asked restraining himself from shouting at her back. He knew she would only close down to him under those circumstances. Kathryn span away from him, pacing slightly as she pondered his question. She knew the reasons of course, but she was not willing to share them, she wasn't ready.
"Does it matter it won't be happening again." She said stopping mid stride and looking at him as she carefully avoided his question. Tom however was not going to be put off by her avoidance. He didn't care if he got a slap, or thrown into the brig. Although he suspected that she wouldn't do that. For if she did she would have to explain exactly why he was there in the first place. Something Tom was sure she wasn't willing to do.
"I need to know Kathryn, why me, out of all the men on Voyager you could choose." Tom asked again and Kathryn moved towards him slightly looking up into his eyes and hardening her face.
"Don't push me Tom, why can't you just accept my apology and go, why do you have to know." She said her voice was now full of sadness along with the anger and Tom couldn't help himself. He reached out and took hold of her shoulders in both his hands.
"Because I am not sorry you used my image, but I need to know why." He said looking her deep in the eyes and he could see her resolve crumbling. As fast as the clarity had been there though it vanished and she opened her mouth to speak again.
"Liar, tell me." Tom interrupted knowing that she was about to make something up. Something that she would probably regret.
"What do you want from me Tom? You should have never looked at that programme, you would never have known and things would have been fine, but you had to look, now you want what?" Kathryn said exasperated and finding it hard to concentrate with him holding her, and staring into her eyes.
"The truth, that's all I ask." He said keeping hold of her as she pulled back from his arms forcefully.
"I am in love with you ok, but I can't have the real you so I went for the next best thing. There are you satisfied now!" she was shouting now as she turned away from him and walked to stare out of the window. Her back the only thing he could see in the dim light. Her confession had stunned Tom into silence, he had not been expecting that. Perhaps something about how she enjoyed his company. Maybe how she was more comfortable around him than most others, even and this being slightly self-indulgent the fact that she found him attractive. But this was unexpected, and had left him speechless.
"Kathryn." He said hoping she would look at him once more but all he got was her cold voice.
"Get out" she said with no emotion behind her words, she had closed off to him again, running inside herself as she always did when it came to opening up.
"No we need to talk about this, you really think I am just going to walk away." Tom said his own anger welling up inside him now. How could she do that, just switch off and expect everyone else to do the same.
"I sad get out Tom, that's an order." She did turn this time, but he could not see her face properly. It was back lit by the stars streaking passed behind her, their lights twinkling in the shadow of the room in which they stood.
"No way you can't order me away Kathryn. You can't always use your rank to get what you want, or hide behind it when it suits you." Tom said now moving closer to her, his anger fuelling his movements, without care for his rank or his safety. Kathryn did not attempt to back away from him, she did not run from a fight, even if this was a fight she did not want to have. His presence was making her tremble for conflicting reasons. On the one hand she wanted to slap him so hard he would have a hand print on his face for a week. On the other she wanted to reach out and kiss him, force herself upon him until he was panting. Neither emotion won out in the end as Tom rounded on her, looking down at her with his big blue eyes.
"Tom please leave, I am not ready for this, and you should respect that." Kathryn said finally, using reason instead of anger, but it did not seem to deter him.
"I do respect you Kathryn, as my Captain and as a woman, I just wish you would let me in." He said putting both hands back on her shoulders. Holding her still as she looked back at him. The emotions running through her face seemed to be changing with every moment they stood here.
"I can't love you Tom, I do but I can't, please see that and leave." She said finally and she tried to move away from him again. This time Tom held her fast, anchoring her with his arms as she shot him a look of distain.
"Why can't you leave it alone, why do you have to push me?" she said now stopping her struggling as Tom was obviously not going to let her get away that easily.
"Because if I didn't push you, you would never allow yourself you experience love without saying computer end programme afterwards." Tom said and Kathryn hung her head, she knew he was right, on a certain level she knew she would have spent the next seventy or so years doing exactly that.
"Then maybe you should have just left me alone to do just that." Kathryn said not exactly believing the words even as she was saying them, but right now it was less scary than thinking that what she had programmed could be real.
"You are impossible." Tom said with exasperation letting go of her all of a sudden and throwing his hands in the air.
"Me what about you, you refused to accept my apology about using your image, made me tell you why I used it, and then disobeyed a direct order. How dare you call me impossible when you are the one who started all this." Kathryn replied placing her hands in her hips and staring at him, her eyes big in the darkness.
"At least I let people into my life, I don't hide from them when they want help or friendship. I'm not the one with cornice emotion constipation." Tom bit back folding his arms and looking down at her again. Ever the Captain, even clad in a nightgown and with wet hair, she still held her head high and stared right back at him.
"Emotionally constipated am I well, it's better than being a self-righteous pig." Kathryn said lunging forward and capturing his lips with her own. The kiss was bruising, her passion and anger all rolled into one ad Tom gripped her hard around the waist and pulled her in close. How they had gotten to this he did not know, but he wasn't going to question it either. Delving his tongue into her mouth he made no effort to hold back anything. Kathryn was giving as good as she was getting. Her fingers around his neck were squeezing him so tightly he was sure to have bruises.
Picking her up Tom slammed her against the wall, her head narrowly missing connecting with the bulk head as she bit on his lower lip. Wrapping her legs around his waist she ground down on his hardness and he grunted with approval. Clutching hold of her thighs Tom pushed up her nightgown to reveal that she wasn't wearing any underwear. The knowledge just made him harder, knowing all this time she had been naked under the gown he bit on to the side of her neck as she angled away from him. Letting him have full access to her exposed skin.
The reality was far better than any holodeck could have created, the feel of his skin, the way he moaned her name as she raked her fingers through his hair as he removed his own pants. Holding herself up as he did so, she became impatient with waiting. She was distracted though by the feel of his hand suddenly on her breast, stroking her taught nipple through her night gown. The contact was too much and not enough at the same time, as she arched herself into him. Tom pulled her from the wall long enough to rip the nightgown over her head, baring her flesh to him for the first time. She was even more beautiful than the holodeck had managed to create. Her skin was silky soft, flushed slightly red, and her panting breath washed over his ear.
"Now Tom please." Kathryn said as Tom's hand made its way between them and found her wanting. He smiled against her breast as he latched onto a nipple with his lips and slid a finger inside her. Her gasped breath only making him smile further as he removed his finger and replaced it with the thing they both wanted to be there most.
"So much better." He said as he slid inside her and Kathryn couldn't even nod in agreement as the pressure started to build within her. This was going to be fast for both of them, not only had Tom been left in a state of arousal from his encounter on the holodeck. But Kathryn had been fantasising about this for months. Tom slammed up into her in ling smooth stokes, making her body jump each time and a slight grunt to fall from her lips. Kathryn's fingernails dug into his shoulders as she felt the first flutters of pleasure radiate from her core all the way to the tips of her toes.
"Yes" She hissed as she heard Tom's breathing become increasingly rapid. His thrusts sped up to an almost alarming rate until Kathryn shook with spasms as she contracted around his sliding penis. Tom braced one hand against the wall, looking at her face as pleasure washed over her. Her internal muscles squeezing him until he could hold out no longer. Burring himself deep within her until he was spent.
Allowing her down from the wall he said nothing but led her to her bedroom, pulling the covers back and climbing in beside her. Discarding his shirt as he did so, tom wrapped himself around her smaller frame.
"Before you came here, which programme setting did you use exactly?" Kathryn said turning her head to look at him over her shoulder.
"The one in your quarters." Tom replied, getting comfortable next to her warm soft body.
"Oh I thought it may have been the one in the ready room." Kathryn said with a slight smirk as Tom sat up slightly and looked down at her.
"Oh and why is that?" he asked a cheeky look on his face as she turned away from him and lay down. Arm under her head.
"Oh because that one involved you being a naughty boy to, and a wall, and my desk." Kathryn said with a grin on her face Tom could not see, but could here in her voice.
"Well maybe we should try that one together sometime." Tom suggested running his hand down her side and across her curves.
"Maybe, but let's use the real thing a. I am sick of holodecks."
THE END
Hope that was worth the wait, I enjoyed writing this short piece and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Maybe I will do more in the future. Thank you for reading XxX