Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Calibur, its characters or anything else that may appear in this story other than the story itself.

Cheaters

Ch. 1 – Naked Men

Breasts. More specifically, her breasts. Rothion had seen them more times than he could count yet he had never seen them like this. They were being fondled, quite expertly, he could add, but not by him. And not by her either.

No, there was another man. Another…man. Wait, what?

Rothion stood, stunned and mesmerized by the look of utter pleasure on his wife's face. It was a new experience since she had never looked as satisfied the countless times she had been with him.

His penis suddenly felt small and unintelligible sounds dribbled out of his mouth.

"I…uh…clothes…well…off…what the shit tits is going on here?" he finally got out.

Sophitia moaned loudly and exclaimed several profanity-laced phrases praising the stranger's penis size and sexual prowess in response. Rothion sat and waited patiently in the room until they finished. After all, he didn't want to be that guy.

Five minutes later, a sweaty, very happy naked man walked over to Rothion and offered him his stained hand. "Hello, I'm Siegfried," he said.

He was pleasantly surprised by how nice the man seemed. "Rothion," he beamed in response as he vigorously shook the man's hand.

"Can I help you?" Siegfried asked with a puzzled look on his face.

Rothion's eyebrows furrowed. "Huh? Oh… well you see, that's my wife…"

Siegfried looked shocked. "What?"

"…and this is my house..."

"WHAT!"

"…and that's my bed…"

"WHAT?"

"…and that's my jam," he said referencing the music that was playing in the background.

Siegfried gasped and slapped Rothion's face. "SHUT. Up."

"…and I think those are my clothes on the floor," he continued, now rubbing his bruised face. "Were you wearing them?"

"WHAT! This is unbelievable!" Siegfried said with a totally unbelievably unbelievable look on his face. "And yes I was wearing them for some reason. You might want to…burn them."

Rothion shook his head in disapproval. "It's not your fault. It's mine. I should have been there for you. I'm a terrible friend," he said as he started weeping openly on Siegfried's shoulder.

"Get off me," Siegfried muttered as he shook him off. They awkwardly stood there as Rothion stared at Siegfried's fabulous body.

"Well…" Siegfried began, noting the unsettling looks he was getting. "I hate to be that guy but I must say this is terribly awkward for the both of us."

"Yeah…I think you should leave."

"Yes. Quite." Siegfried gave Rothion a friendly slap on the back danced his way out of the room, not bothering to put any clothes on to the pleasure of many ladies and few gentlemen of the town.

After Siegfried left, Rothion gave Sophitia a glare. "Never again."

Sophitia flashed him a thumbs-up.

The next day…

"What the bitch tits is going on here?" Rothion yelled, once again finding his wife in bed with yet another blond man.

"Hold on a minute my good man!" the man currently engaged in intercourse with his wife said. "We're in the middle of something here!"

"Wait a minute, I know you!" Rothion exclaimed. "You're that French guy! What the hell are you doing here?" He didn't wait for them to finish this time. He climbed up on the bed and wrapped his arms around the man's perfectly sculpted naked torso.

"NOOOOO!" Raphael screamed. "If you disturb me, terrible things will happen to you!"

"I don't care!" yelled Rothion. "I need to stop coming home to find my wife in bed with other men who have more fabulous bodies than me!"

"So are you saying you would not mind if she was with a man who had a worse body than you?" Raphael hurriedly asked.

"Huh…?" Rothion hesitated as he thought about it and his grip loosened. "That's an interesting question actually. I wonder if it's actually the act itself or who she's doing it with that I see as belittling and offensive to me. I think it's actually quite telling depending on which it is. You see, if it is merely the latter then we may be looking at more of a self-image issue rather than a marital problem, don't you agree?"

Raphael didn't answer and Rothion noticed. "Why you!" He went back to trying to separate the two. Sophitia yawned.

"Stop!" Raphael commanded trying to hold his balance.

"Stop it right now!" Rothion screamed trying to pull Raphael away.

"Don't stop!" Sophitia suddenly screamed.

"OH NO!" Raphael screamed as Rothion managed to pull him away from his unfaithful wife. Aside from her one screaming request, she had remained strangely undisturbed by the confrontation between the two men.

"AHHHHHH!" Rothion screamed as something flew towards his face.

Five minutes later, Rothion was still wiping his face. He could still feel it sticking and shuddered trying to forget. He shook Raphael's hand and sent him away with a gift basket and a newly forged sword.

"Never ever again" he said to Sophitia.

She smiled and flashed him two thumbs-up in response.

The next day…

"Holy tits, woman!" he said as he stormed out the door.

That night, he sat down with Sophitia, in an attempt to reconcile and understand her behavior.

"Why do you keep doing this?" he asked her.

She shrugged. "Maybe because you're not a real man."

"WHAT?" All intentions of reconciliation vanished and were replaced by rage and disbelief.

"I don't know why I married you," she continued after standing up. "What happened to the man that I loved.?"

"You think I'm the only one who's changed? What happened to the purest woman I ever knew?" he retorted. He followed her lead and paced around the room. "I mean look at your daily wear!" he said as he pointed to the nearly transparent cloth that was hanging near the bed.

"You wear THAT…in public!"

"That was made by a very close friend," Sophitia said. "It would be a disgrace to NOT wear it! Also, it's called freedom of expression! And for some reason my breasts have expanded in size these last few months! It's the only thing that can comfortably fit these monsters!"

"At least I'm not showing off private body parts to the entire world whenever I go out on a so-called quest to rid the world of evil!"

"As if you could ever handle a quest and experience HALF the things I've had to!"

"What are you implying?" he yelled, half-fearful of the response.

"You're not a real man!"

"I AM A REAL MAN!" he screamed into her face.

"THEN HOW COME YOU'VE NEVER SHOWED YOURSELF IN A MAIN GAME?" she shrieked.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT WOMAN!" he roared.

"THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!"

He let out a frustrated growl and furiously walked out of the house, making extra sure to slam the door as hard as he could. He got drunk and ended up sleeping in a pigpen.

Rothion slumped into his own dishonored home the next morning and washed himself, thinking about his seemingly hopeless situation. After finishing, he went into the kitchen where he saw Cassandra frantically searching for something.

"This must be some kind of mistake," she muttered under her breath.

"What's that?"

"Oh," Cassandra said, looking up from her search. "Nothing. I'm just looking for some bread."

"I think Sophitia took the last loaf and I don't think you want it," Rothion said, reminded of the mentally scarring scene he had walked in on. He sighed.

"What's wrong?" Cassandra asked, only slightly caring about her brother-in-law's troubles.

"Your whore sister can't stop sleeping with other men."

"Ah…yeah that can be a problem," she remarked, now looking for other food.

"How do you deal with it?"

"I don't. It's not my problem."

"Oh…how do I deal with it?"

"Hmm…" Cassandra thought out loud. "Why don't you just do the same thing?"

"What thing?"

"Just bang a bunch of broads to even the field a little bit."

Rothion's face brightened up with glee. "Of course! Why didn't I think of it sooner? I'll just bang a bunch of broads to even the field a little bit! She'll be so mad! That'll teach her!"

"Uh…that's EXACTLY what I said," Cassandra said, holding a cucumber.

"No time for that! I must embark on this quest at once!"

"Great, I'll take care of the kids for the next few days," she said, relieved this conversation was ending soon. "You go off and do your thing."

He stared at her with a blank expression. "What kids?"

"Your kids…"

"I have kids?"

"…Get out of here."

So he set off to begin his great womanizing adventure.