A/N: This wasn't meant to be a Pride and Prejudice fanfic, but that's how it turned out. It's not written in the language of the time, and I'm not sure where in the book it takes place, but I'm happy with it nonetheless.

Oh, goodness, here he comes again…why Mother likes him so much, I will never understand…OUCH! Good heavens, he's a horrible dancer…oh thank goodness, there's Charlotte…I'll go talk to her when this dance is over…maybe she'll take pity on me and dance with him…Jane's dancing with Mr. Bingley…good, good…there's that horrid sister of his…poor Jane can't see how much she hates her…ugh, and there's that Mr. Darcy…at least I won't have to dance with him tonight…just look at Miss Bingley fawn over him…could she make her intentions any clearer? and he doesn't even notice…that man is the most insensitive excuse for a human that I have ever met…either that or he's truly oblivious to all the angst he's causing…that's Mr. Collins' problem, certainly…he doesn't even notice us laughing at him…Mother notices, of course…why she insists on seeing our distain and curbing it, but just laughs away all of Lydia's misbehaviors, I will never understand…Oh, goodness, did he say something to me? "I'm sorry, sir, what was that?" With any other partner I'd loathe the silence, but in this case I'm grateful for it…Mr. Collins never knows when to shut his mouth…not like Mr. Darcy… "Yes, the hall is quite lovely." It would be lovelier still were you removed from it…can't he be quiet? "I'm sure Rosings is beautiful too." And he's always going on and on and on about Rosings and Lady Catherine de Bourg…I'm sure she's a perfectly horrid old lady…when will this dance be over? it feels as if it's been at least an hour…oh, thank goodness, the music has stopped… "The honor was mine, sir." And I'm free!