A/N: So, bloodyhell95 reviewed recently with seven totally epic suggestions for this fic.
Therefore, from The Official Girl Wonder, as per request from bloodyhell95, here's…
The Three A's of Dick Grayson: Adorable, Astute, and Annoying
Or
The Three Curses of Robin
PS: This chapter follows the events of Chapter 1 (Kidnappers), so if you don't remember it, you might want to go back and read it.
Disclaimer: I dare you to sue me for not writing this thing. I DARE YOU.
Chapter 6: Kidnappers continued (Adorable)
"What do you have to say for yourself?" Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen asked simultaneously as they entered the police station.
Well, first off, let's recap some things.
FLASHBACK TIME!
Roy Harper and Barbara Gordon are taking Dick Grayson to the dentist…Dick struggles madly…They get close to the building…Dick starts screaming and tricks everyone into thinking that Roy and Babs are kidnappers…A policeman comes over…An elderly lady hits Roy with her purse…The same elderly lady sprays mace in Babs's face…Then, she sprays mace in Roy's face…Dick starts giggling uncontrollably…Roy begins to make an empty death threat, only to be interrupted by the elderly woman, who is hitting him with her purse again…Roy and Babs get arrested on charges of kidnapping, and Dick Grayson is swinging his feet off of a chair in the Gotham PD lobby…Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen are ticked.
FLASHBACK OVER! (Aw…)
"What do you have to say for yourself?" Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen asked simultaneously as they entered the police station.
Dick looked up at the approaching adults, and put on his most innocent face, saying, "I didn't want to go to the dentist."
Ollie looked confused. Bruce just sighed and ran a hand through his hair, responding, "Dick, we've talked about this already. Remember the deal? If you don't cause any mischief when you go to the dentist, then you only have to go once a year, not twice."
Dick nodded while Ollie cocked an eyebrow.
"Really, Bruce? When I want Roy to behave, I just bribe him a little."
"What does it mean to bribe?" Dick asked.
"Nothing," both adults responded a bit too quickly. They really didn't want Dick to use that method to his advantage at any time in the near future.
Dick gave them a glare that said, Okay, I'll let it go for now, but I WILL ask Alfred later.
Bruce responded with a glare that said, If you do, you're not going on patrol for a week.
Dick: You wouldn't do that. I'm too cute, and we all know it.
Bruce: Is that a challenge, boy?
Dick: Did I stutter?
Ollie: "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? Not everyone can communicate by glaring at each other, you know. What are you talking about?"
The glaring match went on for a few more seconds until both of their faces went back to normal (which wasn't much different for Bruce), and Dick declared that he had won.
Ollie turned to Bruce with wide eyes. "He won? If the Dark Knight can lose a glaring contest to a nine-year old, I'm never visiting Gotham again. I don't trust your protection."
Bruce glared at Ollie, and Ollie stopped talking. Actually, Ollie looked like he was going to have an accident (if you catch my drift).
(Okay, so the Dark Knight can demolish a grown man/fellow vigilante, but he crumbles under the gaze of his prepubescent ward/partner/protégé/son/little boy who secretly plans to take over the world…Add that to my psychological study notes.)
"Bruce?"
Bruce turned to see Commissioner James Gordon walking toward them.
"Jim," he greeted with a nod.
After introductions were made between the commissioner and Ollie, Jim got right down to accusations.
"Bruce, why is my daughter sitting in a jail cell right now?"
"Well, you see-" Bruce started, but was interrupted by the boy tugging on his jacket.
Bruce sighed – he'd honestly had enough of Dick's shenanigans – before glancing downwards. "Yes, Dick?"
"I can explain it, Bruce. I want to apologize."
Bruce raised an eyebrow, but allowed Dick to speak.
"Um, well, Commissioner Gordon sir…Did you know that the electric chair was invented by a dentist?"
All of the adults took a moment to wonder whether they'd heard correctly. After a moment, Jim responded, "Err…No, I didn't know that, son. What's that have to do with the matter at hand?"
"Well, that's why I was so afraid to go to the dentist, sir. I tried to tell Babs and Roy, but they wouldn't listen. So, in a last ditch attempt to save my life, I got them arrested."
Jim would have been upset, or he would have at least called the child's assumptions utter nonsense, but Dick just looked so…innocent as he said that. It was as if no ill thought could ever dwell in the boy's mind.
Thankfully, Bruce was accustomed to dealing with Dick, and brought some reality back to the situation.
"So, you caused Barbara and Roy to get arrested because of some random piece of information you heard?" Bruce asked dryly.
"I didn't want to get…e-lec-tro-cut-ed…Electrocuted! I didn't want to get electrocuted!"
Bruce nearly rolled his eyes. Dick had stopped having so much trouble with long words months ago. He was only doing it to add to the cuteness factor. Of course, Jim and Ollie didn't know that.
"Aw, lighten up on the kid," Ollie said, smiling, "After all, Roy and Barbara aren't in too much trouble."
No sooner had he said it than they heard Roy's familiar yelling.
"I can hear you guys over there! Don't listen! Don't fall under his twisted mind control! THAT KID IS EVIL!"
Roy and Barbara were being led over by three exasperated looking police officers.
"Are you here to bail these kids out?" the female of the group asked.
"Yes," Bruce answered, and then turned to his blond friend, "Ollie, I believe there's some paperwork you need to sign. After all, your kid got arrested."
"But your kid got them arrested," Ollie whined.
Another glaring match ensued, composed of Bruce almost bat-glaring, Ollie looking like he was going to wet himself (again), and Jim rolling his eyes at the two billionaires. After about three seconds, Ollie walked off grumbling to fill out a check.
"Now that that's taken care of," Jim said, turning to the three officers, "I want to know why my daughter was arrested on false charges."
"Um, well you see, Commissioner," replied a very nervous looking cop, "She…They…That little kid was very convincing!"
"Yeah," said the woman, backing up her comrade, "Even when he got into the squad car, you could have sworn that someone had threatened to kill him."
"Well," said Jim, "That doesn't change the fact that you allowed a nine-year old to fool you. You're fortunate that I'm not forcing you to resign for your incompetence."
"Y-yes, sir," all three officers said, looking extremely uncomfortable.
"Good. I'm going to see how the paperwork's coming. Come on, Bruce. Barb, I'll be right back."
"Okay, Daddy," responded Barbara.
As soon as the Jim and Bruce were gone, both teens turned to Dick, with the cops still standing behind them.
"What did you do that for?" the teens yelled simultaneously.
Dick looked down at his shoes, and then up at his two friends. Without warning, he ran towards them and pulled the two taller kids into a bear hug.
"I'm sorry, you guys, but I told you that I didn't want to go to the dentist!"
The redheads glanced at each other and sighed.
"It's alright, Dick," Barbara said with another sigh. "Right, Roy?" she added, nudging him not so softly with her elbow.
"Yeah, yeah," grumbled Roy.
"Yay! You guys are the bestest bestest best friends in the entire universe!" Dick exclaimed.
Before the two could respond, Dick ran off to find their guardians.
The cops, who had watched the whole exchange, stood still in shocked amazement.
"Wow," one guy with glasses said, "That kid…"
"I know, right?" Roy responded.
"Welcome to our world," added Barbara.
"I mean, really," said the other man. "What was up with that?"
"He's too cute," answered Barbara, shrugging helplessly.
"Uh," said the woman, "Sorry about the mix-up…and good luck with him. I mean that sincerely."
"Thanks," said Roy, "We're going to need it."
A/N: Ha ha! You just gotta love him.
Yes, Roy, you are going to need luck, especially in the later chapters of this fic.
Was it what you were looking for, bloodyhell95? Only you know. The others are coming up at some random points in the relatively near future. (Shrugs.)
Review before I make Dick glare at you…