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A/N: After watching "The Reichenbach Fall" I just had to write something. If you haven't seen it, I highly suggest you stop reading this and go watch it because it is truly incredible. MAJOR SPOILERS for the season 2 finale. You have been warned.

A dead man. That is how the world now sees Sherlock Holmes. As a dead man…and a fraud.

"I'm not actually that angry."

It was necessary to fake his death; he knows that. Playing into Moriarty's trap was the only way to save the lives of the people he cares about. But Sherlock didn't expect the pain.

"You told me once that you weren't a hero. There were times that I didn't even think you were human, but let me tell you this: you were the best man and the most human…human being that I've ever known, and no one will ever convince me that you told me a lie."

It's not physical pain, but emotional pain: the unending ache that comes from severing all ties with everyone he has ever known, the deep sorrow that manifests itself when watching those same people from a distance at his funeral, and the sharp sting of loneliness that taints his thoughts.

"I was so alone. And I owe you so much."

It won't always be like this. He knows that he will end this charade in due time, once he has wiped out the remaining members of Moriarty's network. That thought is what gets him through most days. But there are other times when he can't help but wish that none of it had ever happened, that it was some sort of nightmare, and he'll wake up in 221B to the comfort of John making tea or something of the sort. And sometimes, when his darkest thoughts rise to the surface, he wonders if it would have been better if he had actually died or if maybe he shouldn't return.

"There's just one more thing. One more thing, one more miracle, Sherlock, for me."

But then he thinks of John, the wonderful spark to his genius, and knows that he can only let the façade go on for so long. After all…he is nothing without his blogger. And maybe, just maybe, John will find it in himself to forgive the lie and the disappearance. Sherlock Holmes may not be an angel, but he could never want anything more than his redemption in John Watson's eyes…except maybe the doctor's love.

"Don't be dead. Would you, just for me, just stop it? Stop this."

Soon, John. Soon.

A/N: Review?