Title: iCelebrate the Holidays
Author: slacker_d
Crossover: iCarly/Daria
Pairing/Characters: Carly/Sam, Freddie, Gibby, Spencer, OCs
Rating: PG-13
Summary: If the iCarly crew did the "Holidays" episode of Daria.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: ~3,800
Spoilers: 3x04 for Daria, general show spoilers for iCarly

"Why is there a Christmas tree in your bathtub?" Carly asks Sam.

Sam looks up from her meatball sub. "Because it's August."

"Oh.

For once they're hanging out at Sam's. Mostly because Sam's mom texted that she'd left Sam the meatball sub for dinner and Sam didn't want to wait. Carly wonders what her girlfriend is going to eat once dinner time rolls around. Probably show up at Carly's like usual.

"And why does it have plastic Easter eggs on it?"

"Well, we have to decorate it don't we?" Sam replies. "Otherwise it'd just be another Douglas Fir."

"And the Fat Cake on top?" Carly asks.

"There's a Fat Cake on it?" Sam jumps up and rushes into the bathroom. A moment later she appears, tearing the wrapper off.

"Sam," Carly says, trying to grab it. "That's too old to eat."

"No way," Sam replies. "These things would survive a nuclear explosion and still be good. They're like roaches that way."

"Gross."

…

Walking home from Sam's, Carly is stopped by a little person dressed as a leprechaun and a big bald guy with wings.

"Uh, can I help you?" Carly asks when it's apparent she's not going to get past the pair.

"We really need to speak you, young lady," the little person says.

"Fine," Carly sighs. "I'll sign it."

"Huh?" the big guys asks.

"Your petition," Carly tells them. "For an alternative lifestyles parade. Pen?"

"Actually that's not what it's about," the big guy replies. "But don't worry. We come in peace."

"Who are you?" Carly asks.

"Can't say," the little person says. "We're on a secret mission."

"Let's just say that he's the St. Patrick's Day leprechaun," the big guy says. "And that I'm Cupid."

"You idiot," the leprechaun snaps. "That's who we really are!"

"So? She doesn't know that."

"Well now that you've let the cat out of the bag that you're nutso, I wanna hear about the secret mission," Carly tells them.

"We have reason to believe that Christmas, Halloween and Guy Fawkes Day have left Holiday Island and come here to Seattle," the leprechaun answers.

"Guy Fawkes Day?"

"English dude," Cupid replies.

"And where's Holiday Island?" Carly asks.

"We're supposed to say "in your heart"," Cupid says. "But it's really through a dimensional wormhole in the back of the Wrap and Wok Chinese Restaurant."

"Right," Carly says. "Christmas, Halloween and Guy Fawkes Day came to Seattle for Chinese food."

"Don't be stupid," the leprechaun snaps. "They came here to start a band."

"Yeah," Cupid adds. "It's kinda a techno punk with some old school R&B thrown in. They're not too bad, but they need a guitar player."

"Shut up!" the leprechaun tells him. He turns to Carly. "So are you going to help us?"

"Oh yeah," Carly replies. "You guys just prove you're who you say you are and then me and my magical flying dragon will be at your service."

"That's fair," the leprechaun says. "Here. Smell this." He breathes on Carly.

"Gross," she says. "Beer."

"Green beer," he replies. "And I don't even drink. It's congenital."

"So?"

"I'm next," Cupid says, pushing the leprechaun aside. He takes Carly's hand. "I need you to close your eyes." Carly does. "Now I want you to relax. Everything is cool. Everything is love. All I need you to do is to think of that special someone that's got a hold of your heart."

A faint smile appears on Carly's lips.

"Ah yes," Cupid smirks. "Sam is it?"

Carly's eyes shoot open. "You guys are beyond creepy. I'm out of here." Carly yanks her hand free and sprints away.

The leprechaun sighs. "Now she's never going to help us."

"Maybe. Maybe not," Cupid replies. "It's still a cool trick, though."

"For you, anyhow. C'mon."

Cupid just nods and follows the leprechaun after Carly.

…

Carly enters her apartment to find Spencer on the computer.

"Hey kiddo," he greets. "How was your day?"

"Uh…" Carly begins. "Interesting?"

"That's really super."

…

Meanwhile St. Patrick's Day and Valentines' Day are trying to spy on Carly.

"Is she giving us up?" the leprechaun asks.

"Can't tell," Cupid replies. "Her brother won't stop yapping."

"Then stop him."

"Right."

Valentines' Day pulls out his bow and a love arrow and shoots it at Spencer.

…

"…but then I was thinking maybe six feet is too small," Spencer explains. "I mean ten feet is much more impressive-"

Carly's eyes go wide as Spencer stops in mid sentence. He goes rigid and then begins to look around the room frantically.

"Spencer?" Carly tries.

"Can't talk now, little sis," Spencer replies. "I've been struck with inspiration-"

"Literally," Carly mutters.

"And must be off in search of materials."

"But Spencer-"

"No time kiddo," Spencer says. He grabs his jacket and is out the door.

"But…"

A tap on the window distracts Carly. She looks over to see Valentines' Day flying in front of her eighth floor window while holding St. Patrick's Day. With a sigh, she goes over and opens the window.

"So will you help us?" the leprechaun asks.

"Since I've obviously loss complete control of this dream, why not?" Carly retorts.

"Thank you," the leprechaun says. "We are forever in your debt."

"Can we go now?" Cupid asks. "You're getting heavy."

"Yeah, we're done now," Carly says, closing the window.

"She's rather rude isn't she?" Cupid asks as he begins to descend.

…

Later at the Groovy Smoothie, Carly tells Freddie and Sam about her encounter.

"Did you have a head injury and not tell me about it?" Sam asks. "Or did you find my stash of five year old Halloween candy? C'mon Carls, that's like for emergencies."

"Sam, gross," Carly says. "Look, I know how it sounds. Could we just keep it a secret-"

"Hey Gibbser," Freddie greets.

"Hey guys."

"Gibby," Sam says. "Carly here was wondering if you've heard of any new techno punk bands that rock it old school. And if so, do they include Christmas, Halloween and Guy Fawkes Day?"

"Sam!"

"Yeah," Gibby answers. "I'm meeting them here and then we're going to rock out."

"Say what?" Sam asks.

"Que?" Freddie asks.

"Uh huh," Gibby replies.

A moment later, the door swings open and in walk the three holidays. The first has a mohawk. He has a beat up leather jacket over a white beater and dark jeans. Behind him is a goth chick dressed in orange and black, including her hair. And behind her is a blond guy wearing a Santana hat, red shirt and jeans.

"Yo," she says.

"Yo," he adds.

"Yo," Sam nods.

Carly groans. "You're Christmas, right?

"I prefer X," Christmas replies.

"Sort for Xmas," Halloween adds.

"Figured," Carly replies.

"You know these guys, Carly?" Gibby asks.

"Not exactly," Carly replies. "But I know they're wanted back on Holiday Island."

"I told you we shouldn't have met here," Christmas growls.

"Seriously," Halloween adds. "Who's the nark?"

"Bollocks!" Guy Fawkes Day exclaims.

"Lay off, dude," Gibby says. "Carly's cool."

"Yeah, well she's not acting like it," Halloween replies.

"You just don't know her," Sam says. "Do something cool, Carls."

"Uh…" Carly struggles for a moment. "Smoothies for everyone? My treat."

"This chick is cool," Halloween allows.

…

"Why do you even care?" Christmas asks as he finishes his smoothie.

"My only concern is finishing this crazy dream so I can wake up and rejoin reality," Carly replies.

"What's wrong with Holiday Island, anyhow?" Freddie asks.

"Well, for one thing you have to be happy like all the time," Halloween answers.

"Yeah," Christmas agrees. "Any of you guys have to spread love and joy all the damn time?"

"That's a definite no," Sam replies.

"Well it's like, hmmm… bollocks, is what it's like," Guy Fawks Day growls.

"Yeah, bollocks!" Sam adds.

The door of the Groovy Smoothie swings open, revealing St. Patrick's Day and Valentines' Day.

"We thought we might find you rejects here," the leprechaun says.

Guy Fawkes Day stands. "Shut your gob, you little-"

St. Patrick's Day gets in his face. "Sod off, you British wanker!"

"Soccer riot," Cupid mutters.

"Hey," Carly interjects. "I'm sorry, but I can't help. I can't make them go back to Holiday Island."

"But then there'll be no Christmas or Halloween or Guy Fawkes Day."

"No Guy Fawkes Day?" Sam mocks.

"By allowing this, everything will become wrong and twisted," the leprechaun warns.

"Sounds like fun," Sam interjects before Carly can protest.

"Awesome," Christmas says. "Cause we need a place to crash."

Everyone looks at Carly.

"What? No way," she protests.

"Don't be so hasty," Sam says. "That English one is kinda hot."

"Sam!"

"What?"

"That's not what I want to hear from my girlfriend."

"Eye candy, babe," Sam replies. "Eye candy."

…

When Carly arrives home with three holidays trailing behind her, she expects somesort of reaction out of Spencer. Instead she finds him in the kitchen creating a giant heart.

"Why is it purple?" Carly asks Spencer.

"Uh, because that's the color I want it to be," Spencer replies.

"Obviously," Christmas adds.

"Don't help freeloader," Carly snaps.

"Well, back to work, kiddo."

"But…" Carly sighs as Spencer returns to his art. "Fine."

…

It doesn't take too long for Carly to regret allowing Christmas, Halloween and Guy Fawkes Day stay. The apartment is incredibly crowded because of them. She, Sam and Freddie are at the Groovy Smoothie, hiding out. Being able to drink delicious smoothies is just a bonus.

"…and I don't understand how a mega wedgie-"

Sam stops talking when Valentines' Day and St. Patrick's Day sit down at their table.

"Hey it's nagging day and his friend," Freddie quips.

"How about a little walk?" the leprechaun asks. "I'm buying."

"You're buying what?" Carly asks.

"Oh, we can figure it out when we get there," the leprechaun replies.

…

"Wow, the mall," Sam says. "You holidays sure know how to show us kids a holiday."

"Look around lassie," the leprechaun replies, pointing to The Candy Jar. "Life as we know it has been altered. Look at all the unsold Halloween candy."

"Fewer cavities," Carly answers. "That's good."

"Or see all the toys kids won't be getting at Christmas?" Cupid tries, pointing to The Toy Box.

"Our culture is too materialistic," Sam replies.

Carly blinks at Sam.

"Where'd you learn that word, Puckett?" Freddie asks.

"What about Guy Fawkes Day?" Carly asks. "What horrible outcome has occurred because of his disappearance?"

"Well, there's that," Freddie says, pointing.

Everyone looks over to see a abandoned kidney pie cart with an out of business sign hanging off of it.

"See, Carly," the leprechaun says. "You really did have a wonderful life."

"What does that even mean?" Carly asks.

…

When Carly, Sam and Freddie walk back into the apartment, they find Guy Fawkes Day sprawled out on the couch, flipping through channels.

"…stupid… bloody trash… crap… utter tripe…"

While Halloween is at the counter, hunched up and talking quietly into the phone.

"Where'd all these fake cobwebs come from?" Carly asks, brushing them away as they walk by.

"I'm on the phone," Halloween hisses. "And they're not fake."

"Ewww."

Freddie helps Carly pull them out of her hair as Sam goes into the kitchen. She finds Christmas standing in her usual spot and pushes him aside.

"Watch it," he snarls.

"Bite me," Sam snaps back as she digs through the fridge.

"Hey," Christmas says to Carly. "You guys don't have any sugar cookies. Where's your Christmas spirit?"

"I thought we didn't need Christmas spirit anymore?" Freddie asks.

"Maybe you don't," Christmas retorts. "But I need a little house made out of gingerbread and covered with frosting."

"That sounds really good," Sam pipes up, chewing on a doughnut.

"Ewww, Sam," Carly says. "Those are like five days old."

"So?"

"And we're not really ones to have a lot of house shaped food," Carly tells Christmas.

"Bogus," he growls.

"You ever notice how completely moronic your TV is?" Guy Fawkes Day asks.

"He's lucky he's cute," Sam says to Carly. "Otherwise he'd be going down."

"He's not thatcute," Freddie hisses. "Do it anyway."

"Like you're qualified to judge," Sam retorts.

"Any of you losers have a license?" Halloween interrupts.

"Permits," Carly replies.

"We don't have a car, anyway," Freddie adds.

"That can be fixed easily enough," Sam says.

"Sam," Carly hisses. "Don't help."

"Just bring the stuff," Halloween says into the phone. "We'll figure it out when you get here. Maybe the blonde chick will grab us transport."

"What was that about?" Carly asks once Halloween has hung up the phone.

"None of your damn business, nosy," Halloween snaps. "You really know how to make a person feel at home."

"It's my home," Carly replies. "Not yours."

"Really?" Halloween asks. "You own it?"

"Course not. I'm a teenager," Carly replies.

"Then it's not really yours," Halloween smirks.

"All right you rejects, I can't find one damned baked good," Christmas announces. "So let's just head over to Gibs to rehearse."

"Bout time," Guy Fawkes Day pipes up. "Maybe we won't sound like complete bollocks finally."

"Shut up," Halloween snaps.

"You shut up," Guy Fakwes Day retorts.

"Both of you shut up!" Christmas shouts.

The fighting continues as they exit the apartment.

"Guess we know why people only want them to come around once a year," Freddie says as the door slams shut.

"Seriously," Sam replies. "Hopefully we'll never meet leap year."

Carly groans.

"I can't believe Spencer isn't freaking out," Freddie says.

"He's been a little off," Carly replies.

Sam snorts, holding back laughter.

"More than usual," Carly adds.

The front door then swings open reveal Spencer carrying a huge box.

"Hey little sis, Sam, Fredster," he greets. "Glorious day, isn't it?"

"I guess," Sam replies.

"What's in the box?" Freddie asks.

"Christmas ornaments," Spencer replies.

"It's summer," Freddie points out.

"It's for my sculpture," Spencer answers. He sets the box on the kitchen table. "I'm off to find my glue gun." He then rushes into his room.

"This is getting ridiculous," Carly says. "I'm not sure how much more of this I can take."

"Maybe we should just find those holidays so we can go to Holiday Island and solve this," Freddie replies.

"You hear that?" Sam asks.

They all stop talking and listen a moment. There's definitely an odd noise coming from the elevator. Sam walks over and pushes the button. Inside they find St. Patrick's Day and Valentines' day tied up and gagged.

"Maybe we're being too hasty here, Cupcake," Sam smirks, turning. "I mean these seem like my kind of-"

"Well they're not mine," Carly replies. "So zip it."

Sam sighs and begins untying them.

Freddie laughs. "You're so whipped Puckett."

Having gotten the rope off St. Patrick's Day, Sam stands and uses it to whip Freddie in the back.

"Ow!"

"Sam," Carly scolds.

"You guys never let me have any fun," Sam grumbles.

…

Following St. Patrick's Day and Valentines' Day, Carly, Sam and Freddie find themselves crawling out of a hole in the back of another Wrap and Wok Chinese.

"Huh," Carly says. "Holiday Island has a Wrap and Wok Chinese Restaurant too?"

"It's a chain," the leprechaun tells her.

"I don't see any holidays," Sam observes.

"This is just for the tourists," Cupid replies.

"Exactly," the leprechaun adds. "All the holidays are over there." He points to a large familiar looking building.

…

"God, it's just like high school," Carly observes.

They're standing in the hallway and it really does look like her school. She watches as the holidays wander through, some stopping at a locker, others ducking into what she assumes are classrooms.

"Somehow I get the feeling we'll be saying that all our lives," Sam says.

"It only seems like high school," the leprechaun says. "It's actually much worse."

"That'swhat we'll be saying all our lives," Freddie quips.

"Who are all these holiday, anyway?" Carly asks

"Saints' days," Cupid replies. "No one really keeps track."

"It doesn't seem so bad," Freddie says. "What's the big deal?"

"The deal is that Halloween and Christmas were like the coolest ones here," Cupid answers. "They ran this place."

"Without them, the whole social hierarchy is messed up," the leprechaun adds.

"Well who's in charge now?" Carly asks.

"Presidents' Day," the leprechaun replies.

The group watches as Washington and Lincoln approach a guy dressed like a hippie.

"Sandals, Arbor Day?" Lincoln asks. "We've talked about this."

"Yeah, I cannot tell a lie, it's hatchet city for you, dude," Washington adds. "Hey, Veteran's Day. Take care of this?"

Veteran's day, dressed in army fatigues, nods and leads Arbor Day away.

Lincoln girns. "Of the people, by the people…"

"For the presidents," Washington finishes as they fist bump.

"And they seem so nice in the car sale commercials," Sam says.

"Whoa, it's Memorial Day," the leprechaun says.

They're quickly approached by a girl in a modest red and blue two piece, flip flops and a surfboard.

"You gotta help me, Coup," she says. "Lincoln's going to make me recite the Pledge of Allegiance again." She grabs Freddie. "You haven't seen me." Freddie nods in agreement and she runs off.

"Fine," Carly says. "We'll help."

"Yeah?" Cupid asks. "How?"

"Don't worry," Sam answers. "I have an idea." She walks over to the nearby water fountain and grabs a poster off the wall.

…

Figuring St. Patrick's Day and Valentines' Day's presence wouldn't help, Carly, Sam and Freddie leave them on Holiday Island and head over to Gibby's. They find the garage door open and instruments set up, but no music can be heard. Instead the three holidays are screaming at each other.

"Hey Gibby," Carly greets.

"Yo, Carly. Freddie. Sam."

"I see practice is going well," Freddie observes.

Sam snorts.

"Do we even want to know?" Carly asks.

"Christmas and Guy Fawkes Day are pissed because Halloween got a job and doesn't want to share her paycheck," Gibby explains.

"Why would she want to share her paycheck?" Freddie asks.

"Exactly," Gibby agrees.

"Get your own job," Halloween snaps.

"Jobs are for wankers," Guy Fawkes Day retorts.

"What the fu-"

"Hey, enough!" Carly interjects. "What would you guys say if I told you I got you a paying gig?"

"Bollocks, is my go to response," Guy Fawkes says.

"Shut up," Halloween tells him.

"Both of you shut up!" Christmas snaps. "So what's the gig?"

Sam unrolls a poster that reads, Holiday Island High School Prom.

"Aw, but proms are for tossers," Guy Fawkes Day protests.

"A gig's a gig," Sam tells them.

"Huh," Gibby says. "You know a lot more about music than I thought, Puckett."

…

Friday night finds Carly, Sam, Freddie, Gibby and the holidays standing outside the entrance to Holiday Island High School. The holidays are reluctant to go inside.

"I can't believe you talked us into coming back to this hell hole," Christmas says.

"Seriously," Halloween agrees. "Is any gig worth this?"

"Oh whatever," Sam says. "The show must go on. Or something."

Just then St. Patrick's Day comes outside and sees them. "It's about damn time. Get your asses in here. People want to dance."

"You're the DJ?" Guy Fawkes exclaims. "No way. Not happening."

Gibby groans.

"The presidents aren't going to like this."

Everyone looks over to see Washington and Lincoln fist bumping.

"What a bloody minute," Guy Fawkes says. "You mean those colonial wankers are in charge now?"

"Not anymore they're not," Halloween says. She grabs her gear and stomps inside.

…

Once all their gear is set up on the stage in the gym, they signal to St. Patrick's day that they're ready. He nods and jumps on stage.

Grabbing the mic, he taps it once. "All right people. Are you ready for some music?"

The crowd cheers.

"Great, because we have with us all the way from Seattle, the Holidays!"

The crowd goes wild.

The presidents then step onto the stage. Washington grabs the mic from St. Patrick's Day.

"Hold up!" he exclaims. "They said they were too good for us-"

Lincoln snatches the mic from Washington. "Yeah. Four score and seven years ago-"

"Shut up!" Someone in the crowd yells.

"We want to dance!" Someone else adds.

"Get off the damn stage!"

The crowd starts to boo.

"I like this place," Sam grins. "They take their history as serious as I do."

St. Patrick's Day has the mic again. "The Holidays!" He jumps off the stage as Guy Fawkes Day steps up to the mic.

So I'm a bleeding holiday,
there's more to my life than that, I say.
I got normal dreams, normal desires.
Want to drive a normal car with normal tires.
Hell yeah!
I'm a teen holiday and it sucks!
I'm a teen holiday and it sucks!
I'm a teen holiday and it sucks!
Yeah! Oh yeah!

…

After the dance, Freddie and Carly sit on the stage and watch the Holidays celebrate.

"That was bleedin' brilliant," Guy Fawkes exclaims.

"Totally," Christmas agrees. "We've got parties book for like months. Awesome!"

"Um, I really can't stay," Gibby says. "I'm pretty sure my mom'll notice I'm gone."

"But we need you, man," Halloween replies. "We're making techno punk history here."

"No worries," Sam interjects. Standing next to her is Washington holding a keytar. "Got you a replacement. This due is Holiday Island's number one harpsichord player. Acoustic or electric."

"Rock-n-roll!" Washington exclaims.

"Nice," Christmas says. "All right. You're in."

"Not bad, Sam," Carly says.

"I know."

"Should I care that none of this makes any sense?" Freddie asks.

"Probably," Carly replies.

"Whatever dudes," Gibby says. "This has been the best Christmas, Halloween Valentines' St. Patrick's Presidents' and Guy Fawkes Day ever."

"And we didn't even have to buy some jank card," Sam adds.

…

St. Patrick's Day and Valentines' Day walk them back to the wormhole in the back of the Wrap and Wok Chinese restaurant.

"We're ever so grateful," the leprechaun tells them. "You've saved the holidays."

"We're awesome, we know," Sam replies.

"And if there's ever anything I can do for you-when you've reached the legal drinking age, that is, let me know," he continues.

"What about Spencer?" Freddie asks.

"Yeah, my brother will be fine, won't he?" Carly asks.

"No worries," Cupid replies. "Once he's finished with the project, it'll wear off."

…

At the apartment, Spencer is putting the finishing touch on his holiday sculpture.

"Ta da!" he says when the door opens.

Carly, Sam, Freddie and Gibby enter. In front of them is a six foot purple heart with bunny ears on top of it. It's covered with Christmas ornaments, Halloween candy and has a very tall top hat on it.

"I kinda expected more," Gibby observes.

"Hey!" Spencer says.

"I'm just glad everything's back to normal," Freddie says.

"Yeah," Sam agrees. "I need food." She heads into the kitchen.

"God bless us, everyone," Carly says with a smile.