Title: Two Eye Patches Are Better Than None
Author: slacker_d
Pairing/Characters: Brittany/Santana, New Directions
Rating: PG-13
Summary/Prompt: Antidaeophobia - Fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: ~1,350
Spoilers: None
A/N: For a prompt at the Angst Meme. Also, this takes place in the same 'verse as An Alternative to Recycling, but it's not necessary to read it.

Contrary to popular opinion, Brittany's obsession with ducks isn't born out of love, but rather fear.

Only Santana knows. Brittany told her when they were seven. Santana had wanted to go to the park by her house all the time, but Brittany always refused. There was a duck crossing sign across the street from the park and the blonde didn't want to risk being stared at by any ducks.

Brittany had tried to tell her best friend before, but Santana had thought she was just making things up to make her feel better about her fear of clowns.

But as Brittany vehemently refused to go somewhere where there mightbe ducks, Santana became a believer.

…

It all started when Brittany was five. Her daddy took her to the park one afternoon when he finished work early. However, a call came from work and stepped away to answer his cell.

Brittany was still sitting on the grassy knoll as a duck waddled up and sat in front of her. And then another duck approaches, followed by another and another until there were about a dozen ducks staring at her.

At first, it was cute, but as the number of ducks increased, the little blonde girl started to worry. After a few minutes of staring, Brittany was certain that she can feel the ducks' silence judgment and it makes her uncomfortable.

She began to cry. But her daddy was still on his cell and didn't hear her quiet whimpers.

As she sat there, the ducks seemed to edge closer and closer until she was surrounded by silent judging birds. Ducks in real life were nothing like the cartoon ones she'd watched on TV and eventually Brittany decided she hates all ducks, real or cartoon.

When her daddy was finally done, he came and shooed away the ducks. But it was too late. By then, Brittany knew ducks were evil.

…

As they got older, it became a bit easier to hide their fears. Ducks and clowns became stupid and childish. Though one day, Brittany decided they needed to know what they had. So they checked Wikipedia and found out that Santana had Coulrohobia while Brittany had Antidaeophobia.

Knowing what it's called doesn't help alleviate the fear like Brittany had hoped. Still it was nice to know she isn't alone, that other people are afraid of ducks too.

…

High school happens. Brittany and Santana become Cheerios and therefore part of the popular crowd. Because of that, everyone accepts Britt's odd fascination with ducks. They just assume she loves them, but they don't really care.

When Q forces them to join glee club, it's simply another group of people that accept, but ignore Brittany's odd obsession with ducks.

…

It's Brittany birthday.

There's a small party planned for glee. They've done this for everyone's birthday this year, so it's not a surprise. Santana just hopes it's nothing too ridiculous. One can't be sure when Berry's in charge of the planning.

Everyone yells surprise as Brittany enters with Santana behind her, even though Britt knew there was going to be a party. The blonde still has a look of unadulterated joy on her face, so Santana simply keeps her comments to herself.

They all have cupcakes after Brittany blows out the candles on all of them.

"Why are there only thirteen?" Brittany asks. "I'm seventeen."

"Because I only made thirteen cupcakes," Berry replies. "And I couldn't fit more than one candle on them. I'm sorry, Britt. I was hoping the sentiment would be enough."

"It's okay," Brittany smiles. "As long as you know I'm not thirteen, it's okay."

"Trust us, Britt," Quinn says. "We all know you're not thirteen."

"Okay."

They have a bit of a jam session, singing and dancing while Puck plays the guitar and Finn plays the drums. This lasts longer than planned and they only have a few minutes to give Brittany her gift.

Berry has Brittany sit in the front row with her eyes closed as Finn and Puck disappear into the hallway. A moment later, they're pulling a Radio Flyer wagon in that's obviously holding something large. Santana can't tell what it is since there's a blanket on top of it. Santana suddenly has a bad feeling about the present.

"Okay, Britt," Berry says. "You can open your eyes."

Brittany does so just as Finn pulls away the blanket.

Underneath is a wire cage holding a live duck. Everyone looks over at Brittany in anticipation of her excitement.

Except, Brittany screams and runs out of the room.

"What the hell just happened?" Puck asks.

Santana's torn between chasing after Britt and explaining. She settles for both. "B's deathly afraid of ducks. Ever since she was little. That's why she's always obsessed with them. She wants to makes sure there aren't any nearby staring at her."

And Santana runs out of the room after B.

…

Everyone else just stares after Santana.

"Did you know anything about this?" Kurt asks Quinn.

She shakes her head. "No. I never thought to ask. And those two aren't the best at sharing info. You know?"

"Well, crap," Mercedes says. "What do we do now?"

"I guess send it back to the farm it came from?" Tina suggests.

"We could eat it," Puck tries. "My mom knows an awesome recipe for orange duck that-"

"Noah Puckerman, I cannot believe you just suggested that," Rachel interrupts. "This was intended to be someone's pet and now you want to eatit? What is wrong with you?"

"There's not enough time in the day to answer that one, RuPaul," Quinn says. "We'll just have Artie's uncle take it back. Okay?"

"Yeah," Artie says. "That should be fine."

"Well this party was a bust," Mercedes says.

"We had somefun," Mike says.

"Yeah," Kurt adds. "Until we traumatized the birthday girl."

"How badly to you think Santana wants to kill us?" Matt asks.

"More than we can imagine," Quinn says. "We're lucky to get out of here alive."

Everyone gathers up their things and Finn helps Artie bring the duck out to his dad's car.

…

Santana finds Brittany in the locker room. She's curled up on a bench. Santana expected crying and is surprised to find Britt simply staring at a row of lockers.

"You okay?"

"Kinda."

"I sorta explained it to everyone," Santana tells her as she sits next to Brittany. "Hopefully they'll get rid of it."

"Thanks," Brittany replies, quietly.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. You gonna kick their asses? Because they meant well."

Santana sighs. "I know they did." Santana wraps her arm around Brittany. "Wanna get out of here? I can give you mypresent."

This seems to perk Brittany up a bit. "Okay."

They stand and walk out, fingers intertwined. They stop by the glee room and find it empty. Next to Brittany's things is a note.

Brittany, we just wanted to extend our deepest apologies about this whole incident. We only wanted to get you something you'd really like. We should have checked with Santana first. We're sorry. Hope your birthday is still okay.

It's obviously from Berry. Santana wants to just chuck it, but Brittany seems to appreciate it, so Santana sticks it in her bag and they head out to her car.

…

The next time they have glee, everyone is sheepish and apologetic. Brittany, being Brittany, easily forgives them. Santana does too after some prodding because she can admit it's not anyone's fault that they didn't know Britt was afraid of ducks.

When they hold up another present for Britt, Santana still feels a bit apprehensive, but doesn't say anything. She simply watches as Brittany rips off the paper and opens the box.

Santana has to hold back a chuckle when Britt pulls out a stuffed duck wearing two eye patches. She wonders whose idea that was, probably Puck's.

"We just figured this solves the problem?" Kurt offers.

Brittany squeals, jumps up and hugs him. "Thanks guys."

"Excellent," Mr. Schuester says. "Now that we have that all figured out, why don't we try singing a few songs?"

Brittany carefully puts her double eye patched duck in her backpack and joins everyone else as they practice their song for Regionals.