There's Something About You

They'd never had a baby together, so when people ask them if they had children, she isn't lying when she says no. No, she had never given birth to their child, no, they hadn't adopted. Sometimes she wonders if her being pregnant or documentation would have made a difference. She decides it wouldn't have and everything would have turned out exactly the way it did, and when people asked if she and Derek had children she would probably lie and say no. She would lie for the same reason whether or not she had given birth or they had documentation, because it was simply easier. It was easier to lie and say that Allison was never theirs, because she supposes in the eyes of the law, she never was.

October 2004

Derek Shepherd sighed as he looked over the chart and scans of young patient, at 5 years old the young girl had been through so much that he couldn't bear to accept the diagnosis and prognosis he was going to need to deliver. Allison Lily Sullivan had been brought in by her foster mother complaining of a headache and now Derek Shepherd had to tell the social worker that the young girl had an inoperable form of brain cancer.

"It's called diffuse intrinsic pontine glioma or DIPG," Derek explained as he stood outside Allison's room. He was delivering the worst possible news but he couldn't bring himself to even walk into the room and see the little girl- he didn't think he could handle putting a face to the name.

The social worker sighed and looked to Allison's room, "Well what do we do?"

"Radiation is the best treatment option; with any luck we should be able to slow the growth of the tumor."

"And, how long will she have?"

"Six months if we're lucky, nine months at best."

As tears began to fill the social workers eyes, Derek realized how young she was for the first time, she couldn't have been a day over twenty-three. "How do I tell a child something like that?"

Derek ran his hand through his hair, "Well, I'll gladly be there to any question Allison's foster parents have."

The social worker was now openly crying and she scoffed, "They've only had Allison for three days and have six other kids, and they called to tell me it wasn't working out."

For probably the third time that day Derek felt like he was going to vomit. How could anyone leave a child so carelessly? "What is going to happen to her?"

"We'll have to look for a new placement, but honestly Dr. Shepherd, it'll be hard. Nobody is openly willing to take care of a sick kid." The social worker sighed as she began to clean herself up. "She's such a sweet little girl, really, she's a great kid. I just don't want to give her more bad news, you know?"

"I know," Derek tried to smile. "Here, why don't I talk to her? I mean I'll be around quite a bit and it's best that I get her to trust me anyways."

Although she was about to protest, Derek saw the social worker close her mouth and nod in appreciation. Sighing he pointed her in the direction of the nurses' station and approached Allison door.

There was something about the way the young girl was sitting up in bed coloring and singing that made Derek smile. Her tight brown curls were piled in a ballet bun on the top of her head and around her hospital gown Allison had put on a pink tutu. "That's a very pretty dress," Derek smiled getting her attention.

Allison looked up at him, her green eyes full of life. "It's not a dress silly, it's a tutu, you know for ballet?"

"Oh," Derek laughed, "I'm very sorry for the mistake."

"It's ok," Allison smiled showing a perfect row of teeth. "Who are you?"

"My name is Dr. Shepherd and I'm going to be taking care of you and helping you feel better."

"Ok, Dr. Shepherd, my name is Allison, but they call me Ally."

"Well Ally, do you mind if I sit down and we talk for a bit?"

Ally furrowed her eyebrows and looked Derek up and down. "You're very handsome are you sure you're a doctor and not a prince?"

"Yes I'm a doctor," Derek laughed again.

"Ok we can talk," and like someone much older than her five years, Allison closed her coloring book and gave Derek her full attention.

"Ally, do you know what cancer is?" Allison shook her head indicating that she didn't. "Well it is something in a person's body that can make them feel yucky. Do you understand?"

Allison nodded her head once again and scooted closer to Derek, "My head feels yucky."

"That is because there is some cancer is your head," Derek was sure this was the hardest thing he had ever done.

Allison put her hands on her head and nodded, "But you're going to take care of me?"

"Yes, Allison, I'm going to take care of you."

XXXXXXX

Although she and her husband both spent a great deal of time with their patients, Addison Shepherd became concerned when he husband didn't come home for three days. Furthermore when she saw that he had written down the schedule of a cancer patient's radiation treatments in his day planner, she became concerned. This was why on her lunch break Addison was searching for an Allison Sullivan.

She wasn't surprised when she found herself in the pediatric ward of the hospital, although Derek had always accused her of getting too close to her patients, Addison knew her husband had a soft spot for young patients. Walking into Allison's room, Addison found the young girl fast asleep clutching a soft brown teddy bear.

As Addison looked over Allison's chart, she immediately understood why her husband was putting so much time in with Allison. Her diagnosis was unbelievably cruel and the tiny girl had no one. "Who are you?" Addison turned around to see bright green eyes staring at her.

Addison smiled and approached the young girl, "my name is Addison."

Allison instantly laughed, "Allison and Addison, we're almost the same. Are you a doctor?" Addison nodded her head, "what's your doctor name?"

"Doctor name?"

"Yeah," Addison was not wide awake and threw her covers off of her legs. "All doctors have doctor names that you have to call them, like Dr. Ryan and Dr. Peters and Dr. Shepherd. But Dr. Shepherd says I don't have to call him by his doctor name and I can call him Derek if he can call me Ally. He's my best friend. So what's your doctor name?"

Addison smiled, "Dr. Shepherd."

Allison's eyes lit up, "Did you marry Derek?" When Addison nodded Allison grabbed a coloring book and placed it on her bed tray, "want to color with me? Derek said you're the bestest colorer."

There was something about Allison that made Addison feel as though she instantly needed her and she hadn't realized how badly she wanted the girl to like her. "I'd love to Allison."

Allison smiled at her and opened her box of crayons, "Ally," she corrected.

What do you think? Should I continue?