Title: How I Spent My Spring Break
Author: slacker_d
Crossover: Golden Girls/Glee
Pairing/Characters: Brittany/Rachel, Dorothy, Rose, Sophia, Blanche
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Brittany and Rachel go on a trip for Spring Break
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: ~4,050
Spoilers: General spoilers for both shows.
A/N: So sulkygeek wanted someone to write a Golden Girls/Glee crossover where Brittany is Rose's granddaughter. Being bit of a crossover junkie, I couldn't help but attempt it. I'm not sure if the timeline works, but Brittany is Bridget's daughter who is Rose's youngest. Maybe she just had Brittany very late in life.

Rachel and Brittany have been dating for eight months when the Cheerio bounds into glee practice.

"We're going to Florida for Spring Break," she announces, pulling Rachel up for a hug.

Puck and Santana who are the only others in the room, perk up at those words.

"Panama City?" Puck asks.

"Or South Beach?" Santana adds. "Cause we are so there."

"Me and Rach are going to Miami to see my grandma," Brittany tells them.

"That's how you're spending your Spring Break?" Puck asks.

Brittany nods. "Me and Rachel."

"Sweetie, that sounds lovely," Rachel says. "But I'll have to talk to my fathers before I can just-"

"My mom called your dad already," Brittany says. "She said she didn't want to get my hopes up prematurely."

"Oh. I suppose that means we're going to Miami."

"Yay!" Brittany claps her hands and hugs Rachel.

…

"You'll never guess who that was," Rose says, hanging up the phone.

"Who?" Blanche asks.

"Bridget. My granddaughter, Brittany wants to come down for spring break and bring a friend."

"Your seventeen year old granddaughter wants to visit her grandmother during spring break?" Sophia asks. "Is she bringing her boyfriend?"

"No," Rose answers. "She doesn't have a boyfriend. Bridget said the friend's name is Rachel."

"Oh. Well, if that's what they want to do on their spring break…"

"It'll be fun," Rose says. "Brittany's grown into a beautiful young woman. You haven't seen her since she was, what? Ten?"

"That sounds about right," Dorothy agrees. "And it will be nice to see her again."

"I'll never understand kids today," Sophia says.

"I think it's sweet, Sophia," Blanche says. "There are some days I wish my grandkids still wanted to see me."

"Me too," Dorothy adds.

"Well Brittany's something special," Rose says.

…

Brittany's excitement is obvious. She doesn't sit still for the entire drive to Columbus. She does use the time to talk about her grandmother. Rachel hears all sorts of stories. Having not ever met her grandparents, Rachel can't tell if the stories she's hearing are normal or not. Her first instinct is not, but then again it's Brittany, so who knows.

Brittany's mother Bridget feels comfortable enough just dropping them off at the airport. She parks and helps them gather up their things.

"Have a nice time girls," she says, hugging first Brittany and then Rachel. "Keep her out of trouble please, Rachel."

"I'll try Mrs. Pierce."

Both Brittany and Rachel wave one more time before heading into the airport.

…

Sophia enters to find the living room empty. She heads straight for the TV and puts in the DVD she rented. Sitting on the coffee table, she finds the remote and pushes play.

Almost immediately groans and moans fill the room. Sophia watches with interest.

A few minutes later, Dorothy arrives home.

"Hello Ma."

"Dorothy," Sophia says, eyes still glued to the screen.

"What could possibly be so inter-Ma, they're naked."

"I should hope so," Sophia says.

"Turn that off."

"Why?"

"Because Rose will be back very soon with her granddaughter and her little friend," Dorothy answers.

"So?"

"You don't think it's inappropriate?"

"No way," Sophia replies. "They're teenagers. It's a proven fact that teenager know about sex."

"Ma."

"Fine," Sophia huff, picking up the remote. "Spoil sport." She turns off the TV.

"Thank you."

"We're here," Rose announces as she opens the door.

Both Dorothy and Sophia look over to see Rose enter with a tall bubbly blonde and a small, but intense looking brunette.

"Hi Dorothy," Brittany greets. "Hi Sophia."

"Nice to see you again, Brittany," Dorothy replies.

"Hello kiddo," Sophia waves.

"And this is Rachel," Brittany says, pulling the brunette in front of her. "This is Dorothy and Sophia, Grandma's roommates."

"It's very nice to meet you," Rachel says solemnly, holding out her hand.

"You as well, Rachel," Dorothy replies, shaking her hand.

"You're awfully polite," Sophia comments. "Not like that other friend of yours, Britt."

"Impeccable manner are imperative," Rachel says. "Would that other friend happen to be Santana?"

"You're familiar?" Sophia asks.

"Unfortunately," Rachel replies. "She is Brittany's best friend."

"She's getting better," Brittany adds.

"If you say so," Rachel mutters under her breath.

"Well let's get you girls settle in," Rose says.

Brittany and Rachel follow Rose into her room

"There are a couple of options," Rose begins.

"Actually, Mrs. Nylund," Rachel interrupts. "If I may, I actually brought an inflatable mattress."

"Rose, dear. And aren't you well prepared?"

"I find it to be an essential trait," Rachel replies. "This is okay with you, right, Britt?"

"Of course, Rach."

"Well, I'll let you girls set that up and then we'll figure out what to do next."

"Okay, Grandma."

…

"That Rachel seems like a nice girl," Dorothy comments when Rose joins her in the kitchen.

"She is very polite," Rose agrees. "And organized."

"Girls, you'll never guess who I ran into," Blanche announces as she bursts into the kitchen.

"The mail man?" Rose volunteers.

"Yes Rose," Dorothy says. "Blanche is excited because the mail man came early."

"Did he bring you an exciting letter?" Rose questions.

"You guys remember Chuck don't you?" Blanche asks, ignoring Rose.

"Of course," Rose says. "Mr. Fix-It."

"Well I ran into him earlier today at the store. He looks like he's doing well."

"Does he still do that whole switching thing?" Dorothy asks.

Blanche nods. "He does indeed. But he said he's working on controlling it."

"I thought he couldn't help it," Rose says.

"They've apparently made breakthroughs over the years," Blanche informs them.

"I'm glad that Chuck's doing all right, but not for one minute do I believe that'swhat got you so excited," Dorothy says.

"I have a date with Chuck's doctor," Blanche replies. "Apparently they were conducting a little experiment about what exactly causes Chuck to change. And of course Dr. Moreno couldn't resist my charms."

"Of course he couldn't," Dorothy mutters.

"Well I'm glad to hear that Chuck is doing all right," Rose says. "Whenever something breaks around here, I always find myself wishing he was around again. It was nice having our own handy man. It reminded me of growing up back in Minnesota. There was this old Vet who lost his hand in the war, the big one. And so he had a prostatic hand. Well, he was the town's handy man and since he didn't want to let us down, he made all these attachments for his artificial hand. They worked so well, after a while you forgot he had a fake hand."

"Even with all the attachments?" Dorothy asks.

"It was hard to tell sometimes," Rose continues. "There were a lot of farming accidents when I was growing up, so at least a third of the town had extremely messed up hands. It's one reason why the residents of St. Olaf could never participate in "Hands Across America".

"Rose, it's getting late," Dorothy says. "Why don't you go check on the girls?"

"That's a good idea," Rose agrees, standing. "There's plenty to still do today."

…

Rose takes the girls out to dinner. She's curious about this new friend of Brittany's. She doesn't remember her daughter or granddaughter mentioning a Rachel.

"So how did you two become friends?" Rose asks after the waiter's taken their order.

"We're in glee club together," Brittany says. "Rachel's an awesome singer."

"Thank you, Brittany."

"She's got really good breath control, too."

Rachel just coughs.

"I hear that's a very good thing to have," Rose says.

"I think so," Brittany says.

"That's just super," Rose says. "We never had anything like a glee club in school, but I always found singing to be so rewarding when I was younger."

"I find it to be an excellent outlet for the tsunami of emotions teenager seem to go through," Rachel says.

"That too."

"And what made you decide to join glee?" Rose asks. "I thought you were quite busy with your cheerleading."

"Spontaneous spur of the moment," Brittany replies. "I'm an instant gratification kind of girl, I guess."

"Understatement," Rachel mutters.

"What was that dear?"

"Britt's an excellent dancer," Rachel says, louder. "Glee is just another place she can showcase her amazing skills."

"Thanks, Rach," Brittany smirks. "Rachel's very appreciative of all my skills. Especially since mybreath control is improving daily."

"Uh, that's not exactly-"

"Of course she is dear," Rose says. "Rachel seems like a lovely girl-"

"Thank you Rose."

"-who I'm certain values all you have to offer."

Rachel nearly chokes on her water, though it's mostly because Brittany has decided to trail her finger up Rachel's inner thigh.

"Brittany is extremely talented," Rachel manages.

"Yeah," Brittany adds. "I know what Rachel likes."

"That's so sweet," Rose exclaims. "Do you give it to her?"

Rachel begins to blush.

"Oh yeah," Brittany replies. "As often as I can."

"That's nice of you."

"Rachel helps me work on my singing and I help her with the choreography; Rachel likes to give a peak performance."

This earns Brittany an elbow to the ribs, which she ignores.

"That's good," Rose says. "It's much easier to do when you're younger, let me tell you. The older you get, the longer it takes."

"I really never thought about it," Brittany says. "But that makes sense."

"Yes, one has to work a little harder, put forth some effort, really reach and don't stop until you're completely done."

"Oh my god," Rachel murmurs to herself.

"And also, don't rely on solely on someone else," Rose continues. "While this usually isn't a problem, sometimes a girl has to rely on herself."

"Oh thank god, the food is here," Rachel exclaims as the waiter approaches.

"I didn't realize you were so hungry, dear," Rose says. "We could have ordered an appetizer."

"No, it's fine. I'm just…excited about my meal."

Rose nods and they all begin to eat.

"And you're not still dating that nice young man, what was his name? Mike?" Rose asks.

"Oh. No. Not anymore."

"That's too bad," Rose says. "He sounded like such a nice boy."

"He was. He is," Brittany replies.

"So no other prospects on the horizon?"

"Um…"

"Embarrassed?" Rose asks. "You've never had an issue with talking about this with me before."

"It's just…"

"I'm sure Rachel doesn't mind," Rose continues. "Isn't that the sort of thing you two talk about?"

"Not exactly," Rachel says.

"I don't…" Brittany tries.

"Despite what you think girls," Rose says. "I do know a thing or two about this, dating, sex, condoms. You're being safe aren't you? One can never be too careful. I remember this one girl who I went to high school with, Jenny Soure. She had quite the pregnancy scare during my junior year. She was dating the student body president, who really should have known better and they-"

"Grandma!"

"Sorry dear," Rose says. "You were saying?"

…

The girls are still sleeping when Rose wakes up, so she slips out quietly and goes to the kitchen for some coffee.

"Where are the girls?" Dorothy asks Rose.

"It's their vacation," Rose replies. "They should sleep in a bit, don't you think?"

"Plus they were out back kind of late last night," Sophia says from the table. "When I was up at one o'clock this morning, they were still out there."

"Too excited to sleep, maybe," Rose suggests.

"So what's on the agenda for today?" Blanche asks.

"Well I want them to just go out and do whatever their young hearts' desire," Rose says. "But Rachel insists that Brittany and I spend time together alone."

"A very thoughtful girl," Dorothy comments.

"So Brittany and I are going to spend the morning together, then Rachel and Brittany will do some things by themselves this afternoon."

"A good compromise."

"How was dinner last night?" Blanche asks.

"It was lovely," Rose answers. "It's been so long since I've seen Brittany, it's nice to really catch up."

"What about Christmas?" Dorothy questions.

"You know how it is at the holidays, Dorothy. There's so much going on and so many people. And not going back to Minnesota this last year was so strange, that I'm not sure I spent as much time with everyone as I should have."

"Well I'm sure you'll have plenty of time now," Blanche says.

"Yeah, you'll probably learn all sortsof interesting things," Sophia says.

…

Dorothy is putting her coffee cup in the dishwasher when Sophia peeks her head in. She looks around, though it is obvious that Dorothy is alone in the kitchen.

"Dorothy, I need to talk to you," Sophia says.

"What is it, ma?"

"I need to talk to you about Brittany's little friend."

"Rachel?"

"Yes, her," Sophia says.

"What about her? She seems like a perfectly pleasant young lady."

"Do you think Rose knows her granddaughter is a lesbian?" Sophia asks.

"What?"

"I'm serious," Sophia insists. "When I saw them last night out back, they were either giving each other mouth-to-mouth completely incorrectly or they're lesbians."

"Oh my god," Dorothy says. "Do you think Rose knows?"

"Of course she doesn't know, Dorothy," Sophia replies. "Can I be the one to tell her?"

"You will do no such thing, Ma," Dorothy says. "The only person who should say something is Brittany."

"Well Rachel definitely could," Sophia adds. "That girl certainly can talk."

"Nonetheless, it's not our place."

"Fine," Sophia agrees. "I just wanted to avoid an awkward situation, but if it isn't our place…"

"What awkward situation would that be?"

"Please," Sophia says. "There's alwaysan awkward situation."

"Sometimes I think you're too cynical, Ma."

"Mark my words, Dorothy," Sophia counters. "Eventually you'll wish you'd listened to me."

…

"So what are you reading dear?" Dorothy asks when stumbles upon Rachel in the living room.

"Oh just some light reading," Rachel replies. "It's called Geography Club."

"Sounds lovely." Dorothy sits next to Rachel on the couch. "Rose and Brittany are out?"

"Yes, I have no qualms about finding other ways to amuse myself while Brittany bonds with her grandmother. That is the prime reason we're down here."

Dorothy doesn't know what to say at first. "That's very mature of you, dear."

"Thank you."

"So tell me a little about yourself."

"You don't really want to hear that," Rachel says.

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't."

"No your interest is based on how it affects Brittany which in turn affects Rose. And while normally, I couldn't pass up an opportunity to talk about myself, I think I'll pass just this once."

"Um…"

"Brittany's fine. You have nothing to worry about. Nor does Rose. I promise," Rachel says.

"All right then," Dorothy says. "It was, uh, nice talking you, Rachel."

"You too, Dorothy."

…

The week continues quietly with the girls splitting their time between spending time around the house and fully embracing their spring break.

Rachel lounges around the house reading whenever Brittany is out doing something with Rose. Then the two teenagers will disappear in the afternoon, usually not coming back until late.

They don't seem drunk or high when they get back, so mentions it.

…

Dorothy and Sophia are in the kitchen reading the paper when Blanche sweeps in.

"Are Brittany and Rachel out with Rose?" she asks.

"They are," Dorothy says. "Why?"

"Well I just made a double date for myself and one of them," Blanche explains.

"Say again," Dorothy says.

"I met this charming gentleman and he asked me out. But he said he couldn't until next week because his grandson is here. I was somewhat flabbergasted, no one puts off a date with yours truly. But then I remembered we have grandchildren around as well and when I found out his grandson was 16, I suggested a double date."

"Blanche you didn't," Dorothy says.

"Of course she did, Dorothy," Sophia says. "I told you there'd be an awkward situation."

"He wants to be an actor," Blanche continues. "So I figured he and Rachel would get along swimmingly. And then Rose could spend more time with Brittany and not have to worry about Rachel entertaining herself."

"Girl's done a good job so far," Sophia says.

"Blanche, I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Why not, Dorothy?" Blanche asks. "Because they won't ever see each other after this one date? That happens to me all the time."

"But this time it won't be because all the mystery is gone in the relationship," Sophia mutters.

"I think Rachel's already in a relationship," Dorothy tells her. "So I think it would be unfair to put her in that position."

"What's the big deal? It's just one little date."

"I think her girlfriend, Brittany might have a problem with it," Dorothy says.

"Why would Brittany have a problem with it?" Blanche questions. "You girls don't have a problem with me dating, do you?"

"They're lesbians, Blanch," Sophia says.

"Brittany and Rachel?" Blanche asks. "So? How is their nationality going to stop them from dating?"

"Lesbians, Blanche," Dorothy says. "Not Lebanese."

"Oh. Oh."

"Yes, exactly."

"Does Rose know?"

"We have no idea," Dorothy tells her. "I doubt it. The only reason we know is that Ma happened to see them kissing."

"Sophia, you were spying?"

"What you call spying, I call security checks," Sophia says.

"When you say kissing…"

"Trust me, Blanche," Sophia interrupts. "There is nothingelse they could have been doing. Well, there's one other thing, but if they were doing that, we've got much bigger problems."

"Well what are we going to do?"

"Nothing," Dorothy says. "Just like Ma and I already have been."

"But Rose has to know."

"Why?"

"Do you think Bridget knows?"

"Did you tell your mother about your relationships when you were a teenager?" Dorothy asks.

"You make a good point," Blanche says.

"The girls leave in two days," Dorothy says. "So we just keep our mouths shut and they'll be no problems."

"Why would there be a problem?" Rose asks as she enters the kitchen.

"There isn't one," Blanche says. "It's just that I made a date to go out with a gentleman and his grandson. And I thought one of the girls would like to go, but Dorothy pointed out that maybe it isn't a good idea."

"She did?"

Dorothy nods. "I, uh, didn't think they'd appreciate being set up on a blind date by someone they don't know very well."

"I don't think either of those girls has a problem with dating anyway," Rose says.

"Because they're not looking," Sophia mutters.

"I'm sure they'll appreciate the sentiment, though, Blanche," Rose says. She looks at her watch. "Oh. We better get going. Rachel found some show we haveto see and I don't want to be late." She gives a little wave as she exits the kitchen.

"Well now what am I supposed to do?" Blanches asks. Charles is expecting a teenage girl to be with me."

"Take them both with," Sophia suggests. "Isn't that what boys dream of?"

"Ma!"

"Tell me I'm wrong."

"Say they're both taken," Dorothy offers. "That's technically true."

"It's just a shame that Charles has to wait so long to experience a date with me," Blanche says as she goes to make the call.

"That was a close one," Dorothy says.

…

The next day Dorothy, Sophia and Blanche are keeping Rose company while she waits for Brittany and Rachel to return.

They're all startled when front door swings open and Brittany enters, looking like she got into a fight, followed by a ranting Rachel.

"You know my stance on violence, Brittany."

"He grabbed your ass, Rachel," Brittany replies. "No one gets to do that except me."

"What happened?" Rose exclaims.

"Shedecided it was a good idea to fight this stupid hockey player," Rachel informs them.

"Because," Brittany continues. "He copped a feel."

"You better get some ice on that hand," Dorothy says, noticing how red and swollen Brittany's right hand is.

"Something for her face too," Blanche adds. "It be a real shame if such a beautiful face was ruined over this."

"Come on, Britt," Rachel says. "We'll ice you down."

"Promises, promises," she says following Rachel into the kitchen.

Brittany leans against the counter while Rachel puts ice in a plastic baggie. She then wraps a towel around it and hands it to Brittany, who places it on her knuckles. Rachel then grabs a bag of peas from the freezer and places it on Brittany's cheek.

"I'd hate for something to happen to you because of me," Rachel tells Brittany. "It might be a wasted effort."

"You need to stand up for yourself more, Rach," Brittany says. "If you would, you probably wouldn't get picked on so much."

"Perhaps. But violence still doesn't solve anything."

"It got mypoint across," Brittany says.

Rachel sighs. "Thank you for defending my honor, baby. You're very gallant. It's just that I worry about you."

"Gallant, that's a good thing, right?"

"A very good thing," Rachel tells her. "If we weren't in your grandmother's kitchen, I'd already be down on my knees, tongue out as I ripped off your jeans."

"For planting that image in my head," Brittany says. "And not being able to follow through, you better make it happen eventually."

"Count on it."

Rachel takes the bag of ice from Brittany. She hops up on the counter and pulls Brittany closer.

"Rach," Brittany whispers. "We're in Grandma's kitchen."

"So? I have to give my white knight somekind of reward," Rachel explains. "This will just have to do until I can properly thank you."

Rachel pulls Brittany in for a simple kiss that quickly becomes heated. As they pull tighter together, they lose track of their surroundings.

"Girls, is everything all right in her-never mind, I'll come back."

They break apart, looking guiltily to find Dorothy in the doorway looking scandalized with Sophia shaking her head just behind her.

Brittany hastily pulls her hands out from under Rachel's skirt.

"What's wrong?" Rose asks as she rushes into the kitchen.

"Nothing," Dorothy says. "Nothing at all."

"Sorry Grandma," Brittany says. "I think we kinda shocked Dorothy."

"Oh? How?"

"We were just-"

"Nothing. They were doing nothing," Dorothy interrupts.

"I was simply thanking Brittany for defending my honor," Rachel explains.

"In the kitchen?" Rose questions. "Girls, we talked about this. It's very unsanitary. And Rachel I expected more from you."

"Sorry Grandma.

"Yes, I apologize, Rose."

"You know about-the two of them?" Dorothy asks.

"Of course, why wouldn't I? They told me that first night," Rose explains

Dorothy turns to Rachel. "Why?"

"I believe in honesty."

"But the other day you never said anything," Blanche points out.

"I told you it wasn't a good idea," Rose replies. "Isn't that enough?"

"So we've spent the last week trying to hide something you already knew?" Dorothy asks Rose.

"I suppose you have," Rose replies.

…

The end of the week arrives all too soon and it's time for the girls to head home. They refuse a ride to the airport, opting to just take a cab. Everyone is there to see them off.

"It was very nice meeting you, Rachel," Rose says. "You'll look after her for me, won't you?"

"Of course," Rachel replies. "Always."

"Good. I worry about her so sometimes."

"Bye Grandma," Brittany says. "I had a nice time."

"Me too dear."

"I apologize for causing such problems," Rachel tells the rest of them.

"We're both sorry," Brittany nods.

"It's fine, girls," Dorothy says. "I suppose it's our fault for keeping secrets."

"Speak for yourself," Sophia quips. "Iwanted to say something."

"Hindsight is twenty-twenty, girls," Blanche adds.

A horn honks.

"That would be our cab," Rachel says.

Brittany gives Rose a hug, followed by Dorothy, Sophia and Blanche.

Rose gives Rachel a hug as well before the girls scurry out the door and into the taxi.

"Well that was certainly an adventure," Blanche announces as she shuts the door.

"No family visits for at least a week," Dorothy says. "We need a break."

"I like it," Rose answers. "There's never a dull moment around here."

"I could use a dull moment or two," Sophia says. "Keeps my blood pressure down."

…

"Did you have a good time, Rach?" Brittany asks as they're waiting to board their plane.

"I have a lovely time," Rachel replies. "Thanks for bringing me."

"Of course, silly," Brittany says, gathering Rachel up in a hug. "I wanted Grandma to meet you."

"Well I'm glad I did."

"Me too."