A.N. UPDATE: Finally! I've figured out how to use the new upload and editing features on this site. It's still a pain in the pinfeathers to format fics on here but at least now I don't have to use my pc to upload chapters. Yes, I have made quite a few changes to this story, and I apologize for taking so long to get back to it. Adding more characters, more details, and more to the plot made my head spin and it was hard getting motivated enough to put all of that work into it. But it is now long enough to merit individual chapter uploads instead of having everything lumped together in one upload.

This story was partly inspired by the Darkwing episode "Dead Duck," and largely inspired by the movie "It's A Wonderful Life," Don Rosa's comic "The Duck Who Never Was," and various versions of "A Christmas Carol." As such, this story gets very dark. There is violence and death in chapters 3 and 8 so you might want to have a tissue at hand. But keep in mind that this is modeled to show Darkwing how meaningful his life really is and renew his sense of purpose. The conclusion is warm and fuzzy and builds on my existing Darkwing stories, "The Best Present Ever," "Out of Touch," and "Neighborly Secrets."

Chapter 1: Gloomy Forecast

Darkwing Duck sighed heavily as he peered through his night vision goggles. Nothing. Not a trace of crime anywhere. Not even a litter bug... A sudden gust of wind blew a smattering of snowflakes onto the lenses. Darkwing impatiently wiped them off with his sleeve.

It was the day after Christmas. The presents had been opened; the stockings unhung; cookies and chocolates and various treats littered the counters while leftovers stacked up in the refrigerator. Gosalyn was glued to her new video games. Launchpad was humming to a new MP3 player. All in all, it was a pleasant wintery evening. Or so it should have been.

A few gifts had to go back to the store because Gosalyn's shoe size had changed, seemingly overnight. Also Launchpad's new compass/clock/weather station refused to operate correctly, even with a change of batteries. Launchpad's shaking of the present before opening it (and dropping it) might have had something to do with its condition. Nonetheless, Drake had gotten a warranty on it and he wasn't going to let it go to waste. He would make his returns after the new year shopping frenzy. In the meantime, he would be on the look-out for trouble. One never knew when and where greed would strike and the shopping season was prime time for muggers and scam artists. Right...?

Hint to muggers and thieves: get out there and do something! Darkwing really needed an opportunity to further his good image. How was he supposed to promote positive press coverage if all the bad guys were taking a vacation?!

Darkwing finished cleaning off his goggles and peered out into the frosty night again. The wind rippled his cape and threatened to make off with his hat, but no mere vale was going to get the best of Darkwing Duck! As for the reason why he was freezing his beak off instead of sitting at home watching reruns with his family, well...that was a long story.

Every hero has their off-days and Darkwing did enjoy a vacation every now and then. However, this December had been one of the quietest ones he could remember! For the average St. Canardian it was a blessing, but for a super sleuth, it was a nightmare! There hadn't been any weird robberies or break-ins in any of the stores or banks. The few purse snatchers he had heard of had already been caught by the police. And to make matters worse, his arch rival, Gizmoduck, had been in town this past week!

The only action Darkwing had seen was during Gizmoduck's special guest appearance, which was at the Tree Lighting Ceremony for the Tiny Dancers Toy drive. Normally Darkwing would have avoided the publicity stunt like the plague, but he had found some clues that Megavolt was on a light bulb crusade again. He had deduced that Megavolt would not be able to resist "liberating" the lights on the City Christmas Tree.

Darkwing got there early but found it impossible to distinguish anyone in the crowd from ground level. Everyone looked the same in their bulky overcoats and hats. So he grappled up to a roof top and watched the festivities from there. He soon grew bored and frustrated while scanning the milling throng of merry makers. Adding icing to the sour cake, after Gizmoduck appeared on stage, he was invited to make a speech. Naturally Darkwing had to critique everything the hero said and did.

After his speech, Gizmo's adoring fans milled around for autographs. Darkwing turned away in disgust... Aha! Someone was hurrying away from the scene with a bag over his shoulder. Just what the canny canard needed to upstage—uh...'assist' Gizmoduck in keeping the public safe.

Darkwing made his gallant entrance, confronted the thief, and claimed the bag. By now, he had attracted a sizable crowd and he gladly made his own speech on peace, goodwill, and safety and all that.

The thief tried to protest but Darkwing took care of his gibbering with a small dose of laughing gas. This turned the outraged protests to bouts of giggles.

"You –snicker– think I'm a thief?" the victim exclaimed. "Hahahoho Ho! That's a jolly good one! Hee hee. See for yourself!" He pointed to the dropped bag. Darkwing snapped that he would and opened the bag, grandly announcing that he had rescued... Clothes?! He did a double take. A red fur-trimmed coat? A Santa hat? Yu-oh...

To add to the embarrassment, the event's manager pushed her way through the crowd and demanded to know what the holdup was! Why wasn't her actor in place for the tree lighting?! Darkwing tugged on his collar and backed away from the furious feline, only to bump against something cold... Oh no... Not him...!

"What seems to be the trouble here?" Gizmoduck asked with his usual obnoxious optimism.

The manager pointed accusingly at Darkwing. "That nitwit just tried to arrest Santa Claus!"

"You...what?" Gizmo gaped, caught between shock and amusement. He barely managed to suppress a giggle. "Wh-why?"

"Well...because he looked suspicious. I mean, how else is a hero supposed to react when he sees someone running away with a bag like that over his shoulder?" Darkwing replied. Putting his hands on his hips to give the troublesome Santa a glare, he added. "Besides, he was out of costume!"

The disgruntled manager spoke up. "He was already five minutes behind schedule and now..." she glanced at her watch. "He is running ten minutes behind, and if we don't get him in front of the children in the next three minutes, they are going to start getting whiny. And once the kids get upset, the parents get upset. Mad parents make for bad business." The manager shoved the bag into the employee's hands. "Now get changed and get on stage before someone sees the costume here! As for you—!" she whirled on Darkwing.

He raised his hands placatingly and backed away. "Uh...heh heh. I'd love to stay and chat, but, whoops! Look at the time! Oh well, better go, catch ya later—!" He started to walk away but was stopped short when the manager grabbed his cape. "Guk!" "Oh no you don't! You owe me $5.99!"

"For what?!" Darkwing protested as he tried to extract his cape.

"For costing me five minutes that some kid could be paying to sit on Santa's knee, plus wrinkling his suit!"

"But I..." Darkwing started but Gizmoduck interrupted.

"Say, I've got a great idea!" he rolled in-between Darkwing and the irate cat. "I've got some books on hand to sell, and you need a celebrity, so why don't I visit with the kiddies. And sign some autographs while I'm at it."

The feline grabbed his arm and dragged him toward the store. "You're hired!"

"Pfft! So much for getting in the spirit of Christmas..." Darkwing grumbled as he watched them walk away. He grapple hooked back to his perch to wait. After all, Megavolt was bound to strike soon, and then Darkwing Duck would have the last laugh...

It was a long wait. The rest of the festivities went on uninterrupted, including Gizmoduck's book signing and photo posing. There was music and tree lighting and cheering and singing and sipping hot cocoa...

Darkwing was a bit envious of the cocoa drinkers. He had gotten his mittens, boots, and snowsuit out of the Ratcatcher, but he was still freezing. He was practically a snow duck when the crowd dispersed and the people in charge of the festival left their posts. He was about to go home when he noticed a familiar figure making his way to the Christmas tree. Darkwing shook off the snow to get a better look. Ah ha! Megavolt, just as he'd expected. Perfect timing, too.

Darkwing grinned and prepared for a dramatic entrance. However, before he could say "I am the terror," a cop questioned the villain. Megavolt shrugged, answered casually, and zapped the cop. Darkwing threw down his trademark blue smoke and got as far as "flaps" before he, too, got zapped. Megavolt laughed and made a remark about having a "merry Christmas." Darkwing shook off the pain and fired his gas gun. Big mistake...

In the spirit of the season, Darkwing had only brought laughing gas instead of the usual varieties of sleep gas, tear gas, itching powder, plaster of Paris, and weed killer. Megavolt doubled over in laughter while still trying to shoot Darkwing. Unable to see where he was aiming, the villain fired at everything, hitting the power box the tree lights were plugged into.

The surge of electricity traveled up the cord, shorting out every bulb and frying the star on top of the tree. The star fell, conking the barely conscious cop on the head, knocking him into the tree's trunk. The tree swayed over the still-laughing Megavolt and Darkwing.

Darkwing saw it topple and cartwheeled out of the way. Megavolt escaped injury but he was tangled in the branches and light string. Gizmoduck flew onto the scene and while he was asking what had happened, the dizzy cop finally recovered his wits enough to talk. He saw Megavolt incapacitated and praised Gizmoduck for catching the criminal. Darkwing protested that HE had caught Megavolt, not Gizmoduck.

Unfortunately, while he was ranting and gesturing, he lost his grip on his gas gun. It went flying into the holiday display, taking out an angel, a nutcracker, a drum, a Teddy bear, and Santa's sleigh. Whoops...

While the cop yelled and Gizmo tried to take care of the mess, Darkwing ducked out of sight. He made it back to his bike, only to find it being loaded onto a tow truck for illegal parking. He blew a gasket and was fined for disturbing the peace in addition to being given a towing fee and a parking ticket.

Gizmoduck again found him and offered to give him a ride back to the tower, but Darkwing had no patience for the armored mallard. He waved him off and kept walking. He arrived at the tower twenty minutes later, half frozen, exhausted, and in a foul mood. He sighed and flopped down in a chair. After a bit of irate mumbling, he turned on the TV out of habit and found himself plastered on the evening news as the event's comic relief. Thoroughly irritated and humiliated, he didn't even bother saying goodbye when Gizmoduck came to the tower to make sure he had gotten back safely prior to leaving for Duckburg. Gizmoduck wished him a merry Christmas before leaving, further ruffling the masked mallard's feathers.

The next day, Darkwing went to get his bike back from the impound lot and was nearly arrested for his resemblance to Negaduck. He had to remind the badged bozos that Negaduck was in the super villain prison. They actually had to call for affirmation that Negaduck was indeed incarcerated before letting Darkwing have the Ratcatcher back. He still had to pay the towing fee... Merry Christmas, indeed! Humph!

Since those embarrassing episodes three weeks ago, Darkwing had had very little to do on the job. He had resigned himself to enjoying the season and had gone Christmas shopping, which proved only somewhat harrowing this bothered him was when he stopped for a hot cocoa break and overheard some fellow patrons chatting about him. They were laughing at how "Darkworm Dork" had made a fool of himself at the tree lighting by arresting Santa Claus and ruining all the decorations after dark. Drake had been in half a mind to defend his alter ego, but then he'd spotted an old lady trying to cross the street. In front of an oncoming car!

Drake had bravely risked life and limb to race over and push her out of danger, just barely missing getting run over himself. Instead of being grateful for saving her life, the old woman had yelled at him for knocking her glasses off. He had retorted that it was better losing the glasses than her life and got smacked in the face with her purse.

When Drake peeled himself off the slushy sidewalk, he saw one of the coffee shop patrons staring at him. When he asked why, the guy pointed to someone who was trying to make off with Drake's shopping bags.

Of course, Darkwing Duck had to remind that So-and-so that it was supposed to be the season of peace and goodwill! Then the young man had given him some sob story about starving kids and a pregnant wife back home. Darkwing wasn't inclined to believe him but some of the bystanders started accusing Darkwing of accosting a poor man in need. Darkwing tried to defend his actions and the guy slipped away, with half of the bags. Were those 'upstanding' citizens pleased? NO! Of course not! They had to walk away grumbling about him. Sheesh! Nice show of gratitude, people! And they still didn't get his name right even when they mocked him! Oh how the mighty mallard had fallen...

It wouldn't be half bad if those had been the only belittling things to occur in the past year, but unfortunately, Darkwing's own little world had been through some rough water.

Granted, between his choice of career and his rogue gallery, he was bound to run into some hard times. He was lucky he'd made it this far... But slamming headfirst into a brick wall and dreaming that he was dead had made things a little awkward for a while.

He had gone back to crime fighting with a nagging doubt, wondering why he fought so hard to protect citizens who didn't care about him. They didn't even LIKE him! Neither did the police, nor the mayor, nor anyone else except a small handful of devoted fans.

That dream came back to him a few times. At least, he was pretty sure it was a dream. Imagine: him, cheating death with a finger trick! That was a laugh...sort of. But those, uh, 'guys' for lack of a better word, whom he'd met in that dream... Saint Peter and the red guy with the horns and tail had argued over his ultimate fate! And Peter had actually had to look up his name to figure out where he belonged! It should be obvious! He's a hero, for crying out loud! ... Isn't he?

Darkwing shivered. Not even he was certain anymore... Sure, he was dashing, daring, cunning, and successful, but if he was doing his job right, shouldn't he have a few more...well, fans? It seemed most people either hated him or got annoyed with him. Even his enemies rarely took him seriously.

What was the point of donning a mask and cape if it didn't intimidate anyone? The only people he did end up intimidating were usually victims of his own mistakes... He'd made a huge one this past year with Gosalyn. He had simply been trying to protect her, but by pushing her away, he had put her directly into Taurus Bulba's path. That case still came back to haunt him every now and then.

His worst enemy had been turned into a mutant cyborg with enough weapons to level the city, plus Bulba had been given impenetrable armor. Even if Darkwing hadn't been stuck in a wheelchair, he would have had difficulty facing off the monster. And Bulba had not only recognized Gosalyn, he had taken both her and Honker hostage. If he ever returned...no, not 'if'... 'When' he returned... Darkwing shuddered to think of the outcome of that battle...

Darkwing had done the right thing by trying to keep Gosalyn out of harm's way, but lying to her had been disastrous. Darkwing had pondered this many times. He could let Gosalyn accompany him on his crime fighting expeditions, but then her life would be in constant danger. His enemies were dangerous enough on the street, but if one of them was clever enough to figure out Gosalyn's relationship with him and look her up...

He shivered again. He didn't allow himself to think about what could happen very often but when he did, he found himself wondering... Had he done the right thing by adopting Gosalyn and taking away any chance she had for a "normal" life? Her life had been jeopardized since the day he met her, and it seemed life was only getting more complicated.

He'd done his best, but he was coming to the conclusion that he couldn't protect Gosalyn from everything and the prospect of losing her in any way, shape, or form terrified him. She could be horribly wounded and lose her mobility. She could lose her memory and become a completely different person. (She actually had become a completely different person when Tuskernini's assistants had sprayed her dress at the student costume ball.) Gosalyn could be taken captive by any number of his foes and get hurt and he wouldn't be able to stop them!

There were times when he thought she would have been better off if he had never adopted her... But without her, HE was nothing! He had to have her near to feel like he was...Someone. Without her, he was just a random duck in a cape and mask. He wouldn't even have a fan club without Gosalyn's efforts.

Was it fair to want to care for a child when he could not guarantee that he would be home every night to tuck her in bed? Was it selfish for him to hold onto her when he couldn't even stop her from putting herself in danger? His self doubts haunted him in his dreams some nights and last night he'd had another such dream.

This had been worse than usual: in it, Gosalyn had a real family, with a mom and dad and a little brother to play with. Gosalyn had been beaming with joy as she clutched her mother's hand. While still holding hands, Gosalyn had kicked a soccer ball toward her brother. Her brother blocked it and cheered. The dream mother congratulated both kids as the dream father hoisted Gosalyn into the air. All of them were cheering for her. When the father set Gosalyn back on her feet, Drake ran up to her and asked, "What about us? We're a family." And she had answered, "Well, kinda." Without even saying goodbye, she ran off to play, leaving Drake with empty arms and a broken heart.

Darkwing shook his head, tossing a small layer of snow off of his beak. "BRRRR! Cut that out!" he scolded himself. "It was just a dream! Nothing more!"

But his subconscious whispered back, "Doesn't Gosalyn deserve what's best for her?"

"But of course she does!" Darkwing snapped at himself. "I AM what's best for her! I'M her father!"

"You're not her real father. She doesn't even respect you enough to listen to you. If you can't control your own kid, how do you expect to control the city's crime?" That irritating thread of self-doubt spoke again.

Darkwing squeezed the goggles furiously, almost popping the lenses out, before deflating. "I guess...I really am useless. If I can't protect my own daughter, what good do I do for the city...? —Sigh— This city doesn't even want me for its hero... They probably wouldn't even care if I died tomorrow..."

He frowned thoughtfully as he recalled that odd, coma-induced dream he'd had. Was it just a dream, like he kept telling himself it was? Had he been hallucinating when he went to open the oven door and that...thing popped out at him? He shook away the memory but the dream remained. Nobody had cared that he had died with the exceptions of Gosalyn, Launchpad, and Morgana. He knew that Director Hooter might be upset if he died, and possibly Gizmoduck. Stegmutt definitely would be. And Honker, of course. Binkie and Herb would be upset over the loss of their neighbor, but they would get over it quickly. Would anyone else care? For that matter, would anyone have cared if he hadn't gotten involved in their lives? He'd made so little impact on anybody. It seemed all he did was goof up...

He sighed wearily and clutched his beak. "Maybe all of them would have been better off not knowing me. Maybe..."

He paused as he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the window. With his face turned away from the light and shadows cast by his hat brim, his mask almost looked black. He was reminded of the time the police mistook him for Negaduck and sighed again. Without him, Negaduck might not have come into existence and the whole city—no, the whole world, and all its alternate dimensions, would be better.

"Maybe they'd all be better off without me..."

He sighed and stepped inside, dragging his goggles in the snow behind him. He started to head home, but he really wasn't in the mood to socialize with his family right now. If they even noticed him...

Sigh... Tossing his hat on the hook, he shed his snow-dampened jacket and cape and crawled under the covers of his little-used bed in the loft. Before long, he fell into a troubled sleep.