A/N: I had some feelings about this week's episode. Plus, I had a belated Christmas gift to give. This is for you, Smackalicious! It's not exactly a McGiva, but I felt like Ziva needed a hug because of Ray and because Tony is all over the map about his feelings. And I feel bad for McGee because he hasn't had anyone special since Maxine, but nobody much cares about his loneliness although Tony did give him a squeeze.

Sheila

The Last Thing She Needs

He blew on his coffee again even though it had long lost its heat. Then he spotted her coming up the trail and he leaned back on the park bench. She was wearing long running tights that sharply outlined her strong legs and a loose sweatshirt over a t-shirt. Her face was flushed and her hair escaped in tendrils framing her face.

The moment she spotted him, she blanched. A look of annoyance flashed on her face as she tossed her head like an impatient mare. He knew she would be like this and stayed relaxed as she marched up the path, a fire growing in her eyes.

"I texted you, McGee. Told you I was busy today," she said sharply.

He handed her a bottle of water. "I know."

"I cannot come to the coffee shop today. I do not want to hang out."

"I know." He took another sip of his coffee, resigned to the fact it was now flat and lukewarm.

She sat down next to him and chugged down the water. He pushed a small white bag toward her. She opened it and pulled out the blueberry scone. She sighed. "My favorite. This is all very nice, but I am not in the mood for friends."

He nodded. The bench had a nice view of the lake and he watched families strolling the sidewalk along its edge. She struggled with his offering, but finally gave in and bit into it. For a couple of minutes, they sat silently while she pulled the scone apart, eating it in little pieces.

"I like it when you let your hair be curly. It reminds me of when I first knew you. Makes you seem wild, exotic. It fits you."

"Really? You're here to give me beauty tips? I didn't realize your interest in hair styling."

He shrugged. "It just reminds me of the past. I think of how much we've been through. It seems like I've known you for twenty years, not seven."

She sighed. "I'll be fine, Tim."

"I never liked him."

She shook her head. "Well, you never said anything."

"It really wasn't my place. Besides, I leave all the meddling up to Tony. He does enough of it for all of us."

She snorted. "That he does."

He gave up on the bad coffee and put it down on the ground.

"So what? Have you prepared a speech for me? Do you want to tell me how I am much better off?"

He shook his head. He was watching a father swing a little girl onto his shoulder. She squealed and wrapped her pudgy little arms around his face. It was such a sweet moment, but lately, moments like this left him strangely sad.

"McGee?"

He jerked his head at her. "What! Sorry. Ah…I don't have a speech."

"I deserve this, you know."

He frowned. "Excuse me?"

"For all the evil things I've done. The killer I was. I was naïve to think I could escape my past and find a life with love. I am a killer and I attract killers."

He started to respond but she put up a hand. "Don't say anything! Just listen, please. When I went to see him, I knew he was probably involved in something bad, but then he asked me to marry him and I was so stunned. For a moment, I thought I would get to be one of those women who has love and babies and security, and I was so enamored of the idea that I never thought about the fact that I didn't really love him. I thought that I had a chance at the dream and that's all that mattered. I got exactly what I deserved."

She turned her head and he watched her rub impatiently at her eyes. He leaned toward her. "Can I talk now?"

"No! You cannot because the other part of this is Tony. You know I've always had feelings for him. Don't deny it."

"Okay." He suddenly wished he'd gotten a scone for himself as well.

"I have feelings for him, and there are times when I think he has feelings for me, but then there are all of these games. He cares. He doesn't care. He urges Ray to propose, but then he looks at me like I'm his…I am just so tired of the games. Will he ever learn to stop playing them?"

"I don't know, Ziva."

"He loves me?"

He nodded. "Yeah, pretty much from the beginning. I think you scare him, and I don't think he trusts himself."

She scowled. "I don't have any idea what that means."

"I'm not good at this. I don't have words like he does. Tony's words are his greatest gift…and his biggest weakness. I'm not in his league. I'm just here because I love you…Not a scary love. I wouldn't do that to you. You've always needed me to be me. Just McGee. And I'm here to be that for you."

"And you think that's enough?"

He shrugged. "No, but it's all I've got."

She bit her bottom lip and her eyes watered. "You're more than enough."

"Can I say something?"

"What is there to say?"

He reached over and caught a tear on her cheek. "You deserve love because you give love. Every day. I feel it. And you know that I…haven't found someone special either, and when I think about how much you care…about me and the rest of the team, I think that if an extraordinary creature like Ziva David loves me then I must be a pretty special guy. And it helps me hang on and believe that there's someone out there for me."

She closed her eyes and groaned. "You are the sweetest man in the world."

"I know. That's me. Sweet McGee."

She leaned against his shoulder. "You're the kind of man I need."

He swallowed. "Yeah, right. I'm the McSidekick, remember?"

She smiled. "I thought you were the plucky comic relief."

"Something like that."

She looked up at him. "Why haven't we ever…I mean you and I…"

He hugged her to him. "Well, because I'd have to give up one of my best friends, and then there'd be a good chance that I'd lose out if a certain very special agent ever pulled his act together. I don't think I could live with that."

"Losing you would break my heart."

He rubbed her back. "Right now, you don't need another complication. You just need a friend."

She closed her eyes and held him tightly. "Thank God for you, McGee."

"Ziva?"

She lifted her head.

He sighed. "I want a scone too."

Smiling, she patted his cheek. "Okay. Let's go, friend."

…..

The End