AN EDUCATION

Chapter Five

Jax pulled up to the side of the warehouse and blew out a deep, frustrated breath as he snapped his helmet off. This was not what he had had planned for the rest of his night. Was it too much to fucking ask to have one night of amazing sex with an equally amazing girl and then get to spend the rest of the night with her without any interference from anything or anyone else? Shit...he shook his head at those thoughts. If he'd said that out loud, his brothers would probably try to castrate him. And he might have to let them too. Besides, he figured Opie would've never called him if this was just a small thing, especially since he knew he was seeing Lily that night.

Beams from a flashlight caught his attention and he immediately hopped off his bike. A few long strides brought him around the corner and he skidded to a complete stop.

"What the fuck?" he bit out hoarsely.

Less than ten feet away from him, five hooded and well-covered Mayans were sweating their asses off as they hauled crate after crate into two vans tucked away into the shadows. Juice and Tig were resting against their bikes with pissed-off and frustrated expressions and Opie was swiftly approaching him with dark, annoyed eyes—it wasn't difficult to figure out what exactly had gone wrong.

"Jax," Opie called out softly as he got closer.

"Let me guess—you showed up here at midnight like you were supposed to and our Mayan friends here didn't have their end of the deal taken care of yet."

"Right on the money, bro." Opie nodded as he gestured towards one of the hooded Mayans working to their right. "I know you had shit goin' on tonight, Jax, but I figured you'd want to have a chat with our friend Hector over there."

Jax nodded, clenching his fists when he found the guy Opie was pointing out. Yeah, he and Hector needed to have a talk. Knock some sense into the asshole—figuratively and maybe literally too if he was lucky. This was gonna be fun.

"Yo Hector!" Jax called out to the dark figures by the vans. Salazar glanced over to them when he heard his name and rubbed his face in an almost pathetic desperation, then he started slowly ambling over to them, like a dog with its tail between its legs.

"You wanna explain to me what the hell happened here?" Jax spat out, glaring at the poor excuse for a 'lieutenant' in front of him.

"We just, uh, we underestimated how long it would take to clear out our stock and-" He started with a shaky gulp.

Jax folded his arms in front of him and cocked an eyebrow. "Underestimated? When the fuck did you show up?"

Salazar glanced down at the dirt by his feet and cleared his throat. "Eleven."

Opie just shook his head with a deep exhale but Jax took a step forward with an aggressive sneer.

"You underestimated?" He barked out a mirthless laugh and shook his head with an amused smirk. "Underestimated...that's a new one, man, I have to tell you—and it's a fucking pile of shit excuse for not doing your job."

"Back off, ese," Salazar shot back with a hard glare. "We only need another half an hour and then your dogs can blow this place."

Jax narrowed his eyes and Opie took a step forward at his words. "Did you just call us 'dogs'? Bro, I don't think you realize who you're talkin' to..."

Salazar stood his ground and kept his eyes focused steadily on Jax with a hard edge that unnerved him. "I know exactly who I'm talkin' to—and you don't scare me, VP."

Jax's eyebrows rose and grinned widely, striding closer to Salazar until he was toe to toe with him. "I'm not tryin' to scare you, bro—I'm just tryin' to help you do your job."

"I don't need your help."

"Oh I think you do...you somehow managed to fuck up a gravy deal that even my most shit-for-brains prospect could take care of in his sleep. Underestimated my ass—this was just a plain old fuck-up."

Even in the dark, the red rage in Salazar's face was clear. "My boys and me'll finish the job and then your boys can do yours-"

"The job should already be done by now—that's the point, asshole." Opie cut in roughly.

Salazar held up a hand and shook his head. "You made your point; it was a mistake and it won't happen again, now," he glared at Jax as he spoke. "Get the hell out of my way so I can help my boys finish this job."

Jax didn't move from his spot and matched Salazar's dead-locked glare. "Good-this shit better not happen again otherwise you and I are gonna have some serious problems, bro. And if you ever refer to any member of Samcro as a 'dog' again—I'll beat your fuckin' brains in."

"Is that a threat, bro?" Salazar spit back.

Jax's mouth curved into a vicious smile and he took a step closer so that they were almost nose to nose. "Yeah—oh, and Hector? Just so you know, I'll be givin' your Prez a performance report first thing tomorrow morning."

"You can't do that...you don't have the pull-"

Jax just tapped the front of his cut with a cocky grin. "Sure I do—VP, remember? You're the one who needs to remember his rank in the grand scheme of things here, not me."

Salazar stared him down for another silent moment until turning on his heel and stalking back to the vans to help his men load up the rest of the crates.

"That was some tense shit, Jax." Opie muttered to him under his breath.

Jax just shrugged. "Shithead should be scared."

"That's not gonna make this go any smoother." Opie reasoned warily.

"Yeah, well, the jerk-off needs a good beatin' and someday, I'm gonna enjoy givin' it to him."

Opie shook his head as he lit a cigarette, passing one to Jax too, who lit it hungrily.

"I still don't understand how this happened—we're gonna have to bring this to Clay too. What do you think he's gonna do? You think he's gonna call the whole thing off, Jax?"

"He won't if we blow this warehouse tonight."

"This is the best thing for the club right now Jax and I don't trust Salazar any more than you do but I can say that I trust Alveraz and he's the one callin' all the shots, anyways. Salazar is just an errand boy with a meaningless title."

"He doesn't seem to think it's meaningless." Jax pointed out tiredly.

"Maybe, but it's still meaningless. The guy's got no pull and everyone knows it but him."

"That's a recipe I don't trust, Ope—guys like that are fuckin' dangerous."

"And I agree—but let Alveraz deal with it. It's not our problem and we don't really need to be pissin' the Mayans off right now either."

Jax shook his head as he took a drag from his cigarette, casting a wary glance over to the vans and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. "Yeah, I guess. Fuck, I'm tired—how much longer do you need me to stick around?"

Opie cocked an eyebrow at him and folded his arms across his chest. "Gotta be somewhere, bro?"

He just shrugged with a grin. "So what if I do?"

"Ah...things went well with Lily, then?" Opie replied with a knowing smirk.

"You could say that."

"Nice—good for you, bro. I like her...she seems like she's got her head on straight."

Jax shrugged again. "She's only gonna be town a little while longer."

"Right but you're havin' a good time with her, right?"

Jax swallowed tightly and nodded. He wasn't sure he liked where this talk was going. "Yeah."

"And I'm assuming she's havin' a good time with you...so, maybe she'll decide to stay in town for awhile. That wouldn't be so bad, would it?"

"I think you're puttin' the cart before the horse, bro. She's only been in town—what-three days, maybe four?"

"Well, what if she did?" Opie suggested with a hand in the air as he spoke.

"Well, she won't. So it doesn't really matter now, does it?"

"Whatever you say, bro—look, now that we have all this other shit cleared up, you can probably head out. Go back to doin' whatever it was you were doin'." Opie clapped him on the shoulder as he spoke and gestured to the barely visible road.

"You sure, bro? I can stay until those idiots get out of here."

Opie shook his head. "Nah. We got it. See you at church tomorrow, bro."

"A'ight. Let me know if you need me."

Opie just waved him off as he turned and headed back to his bike. He would've stayed if they'd needed him but he was just as relieved to be getting the hell out of there. All this shit...now more than ever made him just want to collapse back into bed. He needed to sleep and he knew exactly who he wanted to be sleeping next to. Opie was an asshole for putting those thoughts into his head...his mind drifted back to Tig's words the day she'd shown up on TM's door: "girls like that don't stay in towns like ours for long." Tig was right; Ope wasn't. It was as simple as that and he'd known it the minute he'd first laid eyes on her. There was no use in getting his hopes up...and it wasn't like he was exactly in a position where he'd be able to give her anything more than sex and a good time at this point. That was all she seemed to want anyways so why mess with a good thing? Why push it into being something it wasn't, something they didn't want, only for her to be disappointed in the end when she realized that life in LA was a hell of a lot better than life in Charming?

With that in mind, he revved his bike and peeled out onto the road to head back to Lily's hotel.

Lily rolled over and glanced at the clock again, a sinking feeling welling up in the pit of her stomach. She wasn't sure exactly what was making her restless—Jax's obvious agitation from that phone call or the fact that he wasn't back yet. He'd told her he would be back...but he was under no obligation to actually come back. And if he didn't, if whatever had called him away needed his attention for the rest of the night and he never came back, he wasn't doing anything wrong...why did that bother her so much? She didn't need him in her bed at that moment but she wanted him there.

Her phone beeped on the nightstand and she tore it off the charger. A text from Jax to tell her he was on his way back. She blew out a breath of relief and threw the covers off of her, pulled a long t-shirt on, and then shuffled sleepily to the bathroom. Jax's late-night call and then speedy escape had set her completely on edge and had made getting back to sleep near impossible. Maybe when he was back she'd actually be able to get some more rest.

Once the bathroom light was on, she gazed hazily at her reflection with a small smile. Her hair was tousled and tangled...sex hair, she thought with a grin. But her face was another story altogether...mascara and eyeliner was smeared under her eyes and some of her lip gloss had rubbed onto her upper lip...definitely not attractive.

She quickly washed her face and brushed her teeth, feeling immediately better and reaching for a towel, her eyes fell on the trash can, and, more specifically, the used condom inside it. Chewing on her lip, she sat down on the toilet and pulled her knees up under her chin. Flashes of what had transpired only a few hours before sprang across her mind—she could still feel his hands on her skin, his naked body pressed against her, the feel of his warm tongue, his body between her legs...she shivered at the thought. Part of her wanted to feel guilty; after all, she'd known him all of...what...three days before she'd slept with him. And he was still technically married. Didn't that make her a slut or something? She'd programmed herself to feel guilty...and there was plenty in this situation to feel guilt and regret about. But the other part of her knew she didn't have to explain herself because for the first time since her mother's death, she felt in control of something. She'd made a decision and she'd went with it. And she didn't really feel like she'd done anything slutty either. No regrets. No guilt necessary.

A knock on the door sent her out of the bathroom and towards the door. She pulled it open to see Jax rubbing a hand over his tired face. Then their eyes met and he smiled lazily at her.

"Hey, Lily," he said softly. "Is it alright if I come back to bed with you?"

His eyes seemed to pierce right through her and his expression was a mix of exhaustion, frustration, and a little bit of helplessness that made her move out of the way so he could come inside. She padded lightly after him as he tossed his shirt to the ground and stripped down to his boxers and just as she was about to crawl back onto the bed, a calloused hand shot out to pull her closer to him. She rested her hands gently on the tops of his shoulders and closed her eyes as he leaned his forehead against hers. His hands came around her face and he kissed her lightly on the lips before leaning his head back to get a better look at her.

"Did you miss me?" She whispered against his cheek.

He chuckled softly and nodded. Then, with a small smile, she led him back to bed and after he pulled the covers over them, she drifted off into an easy sleep with his arm draped lazily around her waist.

Around 10 that morning, she rolled over with a relaxed sigh, feeling more rested than she'd had in months, maybe even years. It was the first she'd been able to actually rest and settle in to sleep. She glanced at the empty space next to her—Jax had left about an hour earlier with a long kiss goodbye and a promise to see her later—and she found herself nestling over to where he'd been and curling up into his pillow. Then, with another exhale, she pried herself out of bed and headed over to the shower. She'd already gotten dressed and was trying to force a brush through her tangled hair when a light rap came from the door.

Frowning, she padded quickly to the door—it couldn't be Jax; he'd call or text before coming over; and she wasn't aware that anything else really knew where she was staying, let alone which room she was in. She groped for her phone and, for a fleeting moment, considered sending a panicked text to Jax but then she put an eye to the peephole.

A tall man clad in a tan uniform, a buzzcut, and a gun peaking out of a holster stood in front of her door and when she squinted, she thought she caught a glimpse of a badge. Obviously a cop. Great.

With a heavy sigh, she propped open the door, knowing that he could only be here, at her door, for one reason. Or rather—one person.

"Miss Campbell?" The cop asked quietly but there was a firmness behind his voice that said he was serious.

"Yeah?"

"Hello, Miss Campbell, my name is Sheriff Deputy David Hale—I just have some questions for you, if that's alright."

She stepped out onto the walkway when he stood and quickly closed the door behind her. "Can I see some credentials first?"

A brief wave of surprise mixed with some shock crossed his hard features but as soon as it had come, it passed and he quickly nodded as he unclipped his badge and identification to hold out to her.

Satisfied now, she nodded and stepped back. "What can I help you with, officer?"

"Can you verify Jackson Teller's whereabouts last night?"

She frowned again. "I don't understand...what do you mean?"

Deputy Hale sighed and rubbed his chin. "I'm not sure what you've heard but there was an explosion last night over on Route 54."

Her heart stopped for a moment as everything snapped into place. Samcro was clearly involved otherwise an officer wouldn't be at her doorstep. Something had gone wrong. That's why Jax had been so agitated from that phone call in the middle of the night. And that's why he'd left.

"And you think Jax is somehow involved?"

Deputy Hale nodded curtly as if this was already common knowledge. "Can you verify his whereabouts, miss?"

"Why would you think I'd know that?"

He sighed and looked down at the ground for a moment before glancing back at her. "Several witnesses saw you and Jax Teller at Journey's last night and said you left together."

"Oh."

Wow. Word really got around fast in a small town. Either that or the cops had eyes and ears everywhere around here...maybe just when it came to anything involving Samcro. Well, she was already very aware of how some of Charming's residents looked at her and most likely spoke about her so it didn't seem out of the realm of possibility that people who'd been at the bar would gossip. It was funny...their date last night and everything that followed had made her almost forget all that and Jax's involvement in illegal dealings.

"He was with me all night."

Deputy Hale blinked in surprise at her pointed, firm response. "What time did you get to your room?"

"A little after 10."

"You're sure he never left?"

She shook her head quickly. "No, he was here all night—he left about an hour ago actually."

Hale nodded slowly and jotted something down in the small notebook in his left hand. "Alright—thank you for your time. Here's my card if you think of anything I should know."

She gingerly took the card from him and bit her lip. She watched, feeling a little helpless because she just wanted him to go already, as he turned on his heel to head back to his squad car and then turned back to face her.

"I know it isn't any of my business, Miss Campbell, but I feel I should warn you that Jax Teller isn't a very good, uh, friend to have. Him and his friends, miss, they're dangerous and getting too close to them could get you hurt. Trust me, even if you aren't planning on being in town much longer, Jax Teller is more trouble than he's worth."

She froze for a moment as his words sunk in; he shot her one final uneasy smile with a nod before walking back over to his squad car. With her heart pounding wildly in her chest, she bit her lip and shut the door behind her.

Jax threw a greasy towel haphazardly behind him and reached for a wrench from his toolbox. No matter what he did, he just couldn't get this part to fit where he needed it to—he almost threw the wrench in frustration when he caught his mother's eyes from across the shop. Her eyebrows rose, like she could read his mind and her head tilted to the side as she surveyed him. As far as he knew, she wasn't yet aware of where he'd been the night before but he figured it was only a matter of time before she found out. Her reaction to that was anyone's guess—the woman seemed fuckin' bipolar sometimes—and he didn't necessarily want to be anywhere near her reach when she did. He could already hear it now: "Jackson...when are you going to realize that this girl is just slummin' it here and using you—I don't want to see you hurt again..." and blah blah blah. Still, he couldn't quite put his finger on why she'd seemed so excited when she'd told him to look out for Lily at Fun Town. She'd reminded him a little of a kid at Christmas and something about that just didn't sit right. Gemma was definitely up to something and that was never usually a good thing.

His attention shifted back to his mother when he followed her gaze out to the parking lot where Hale had already parked his squad car.

"Fuck."

He threw down the wrench and wiped his hands on a clean towel as his mother quickly appeared at his side.

"You think this is about last night?" She muttered to him under her breath.

"Can't be anythin' else. It was only a matter of time anyways...no witnesses, no evidence...no big deal, Ma."

She nodded quickly, appeased by his reassurances. "Right."

He kissed her lightly on the cheek before turning to meet Hale with Opie, who was already half-way there.

"Morning Jax, Opie," Hale nodded to them as he pulled his sunglasses off. "Just the guys I was looking for."

"Well, we live to serve you." Jax retorted with a cocky laugh.

Hale's expression darkened. "Let's just cut to the chase, shall we? I think all three of us are aware of the explosion on Route 54 last night. My sources tell me that particular warehouse was owned and operated by the Mayans so, naturally, Samcro comes up as a natural suspect."

"Naturally." Opie added with a shrug.

Hale just chose to ignore that. "I'm not here to make any arrests; I'm just here to let you know I'm investigating your potential involvement—your alibies have already vouched for you, like I knew they would—I've learned through experience to go to Samcro's women first about matters like these...helps me gauge what's really going on. I have to say, Opie, you've trained Lyla well but the real surprise this morning was Lily Campbell—you know her pretty well now, right Jax?"

Jax frowned, feeling his heart rate pick up. "What are you talkin' about?"

Hale just shrugged. "The girl was clearly no stranger to being questioned by the police—even asked to see my badge and everything—and she told me you were with her all night and never left."

Jax couldn't stop his eyebrows from raising at Hale's words but he did his best to seem as unemotional—and unsurprised—as possible. "Well, that's what happened so...I'm not sure what you're still doin' here, officer."

Hale snorted out a laugh and shook his head. "Don't you think you should feel a little ashamed of yourself, Jax? The girl's in town for three days and already she's covering for you?"

"I don't know what you're talkin' about, man." He rolled back on his heels as he spoke and glanced at Opie, who had an equally confused expression etched on his face.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Jax, and you know, if I were you, I'd do a little reading up on your girl—I did and I was very surprised at what I found." He smiled insincerely as he spoke, backpedalling to his squad car. "Have a nice day, boys. I'll be seeing you."

They waited until Hale was safely out of sight and then Opie turned to him, a grim line etched onto his face. "What the hell was that all about?"

Jax shook his head. "I have no fuckin' idea."

"We better find Juice," Opie was saying now through the haze. "Figure out what's goin' on before somethin' else happens."

Jax nodded, unable to shake the numb, uneasy sinking feeling settling in the pit of his stomach. He almost felt like Hale had just punched him in the gut...he'd never really thought about where she'd come from and what kind of people she might have known or been involved with. Maybe he should've looked into that a little more.

It didn't take Juice long to dig up some intel on her either and when he swiveled around in his chair to where he and Opie sat, Jax thought he might explode just from waiting and chewed nervously on his lip.

"So..." he barked out, a little too harshly. He couldn't help it...the suspense was literally killing him.

"Well," Juice started somewhat shakily. "She doesn't really have a record herself—just a couple speeding tickets—but that's it. Her dad, though, that's a different story."

Jax frowned and leaned forward, catching Opie's equally distressed eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Her dad's Martin Campbell-"

"The real estate tycoon?" Jax asked increduously, his mind flicking to bits and pieces of news he remembered hearing about this guy.

Juice nodded with a grim smile. "Yeah—the feds have been tryin' to get him for years...money laundering, tax fraud, investment fraud...you name it, he's been charged for it. He went to trial four separate times and each time, Lily was brought in as a witness—what she knew about his dealings, where he was during specific times, and she's on record of being questioned by the police at least thriteen different times, ten about her dad and three about her fiance—name's Will Miles."

"What about him?" Jax asked quickly.

Juice shrugged. "He works for her dad—probably handles the dirty details, you know? It looks like each time Lily was questioned about him, the cops wanted to know where he was, what business he was taking care of—the most recent time was six months ago."

"Shit." Opie muttered under his breath. "Hale was right—she's no stranger to dealing with the cops."

Jax swallowed tightly. "Anything else we should know?"

"Well," Juice started. "I guess it depends on how deep you want me to dig, Jax—I can keep lookin' and see if anything else pops up."

Jax started nodding before he was even finished speaking. "Absolutely, bro."

Juice swiveled back around in his chair and went back to work as Opie and Jax exchanged an uneasy glance. Jax clapped Juice on the shoulder to thank him and met Opie at the doorway as they headed out towards the clubhouse's bar to grab a beer.

"So..." Opie started slowly after taking a long pull from his beer. "I don't think we need to bring this to Clay, man...I mean, she's not a threat—her dad's obviously got some sway but that doesn't mean shit for the club."

Jax nodded and blew out a deep breath. "Right."

"You alright, brother?"

"Yeah, yeah...that just wasn't what I was expecting, you know?"

Opie nodded. "I know what you mean—I was just waiting for Juice to give us some long drawn-out story about her dad being a mob boss or something."

Jax chuckled, unable to hide his uneasiness with this whole thing. He was relieved, beyond his comprehension, that Lily herself didn't have any connections to anything that would potentially be dangerous to the club. If she did...he'd have to cut their time even shorter, whether he wanted to or not. But now, given what Lily had told him about her dad, it was no wonder why she'd needed to get the hell out of there.

"Jax?" Opie was saying now. "You here, bro?"

"Yeah, yeah," Jax blew out another breath. "I was just thinkin'...Lily never mentioned who her dad was...but did not have great things to say about him. I can't imagine havin' a dad like that...he just seems like a massive dickhead, you know?"

"What did she say?"

He shrugged. "Just that he never really her do anything she wanted—tried to control everything."

"What about her fiance? Or ex-fiance, I guess now, right?"

Jax clenched his jaw at the mention of the guy he was just itching to beat the shit out of. "Just that he'd only hit her once."

"You think he's gonna be showin' up here anytime soon?"

Jax laughed mirthlessly as he took another pull from his beer. "You know...part of me is practically begging for it...but she'll probably be long gone before he figures out she was ever here."

Opie nodded with sad eyes, as if he could already see the resignation in Jax's face. "You should probably call her, bro—she's gonna have questions about why Hale was there."

"Right," Jax sighed again. Lily wasn't stupid and odds were, as soon as she got wind of the fact that he was more than just a mechanic, well, he'd be lucky if he saw her again before she blew out of Charming. Maybe that was for the best anyways.

Lily pulled open her door and could immediately feel the change in him. Gone was the playful, mischievous lop-sided smirk and the sparkling look in his eyes. Instead, she was met with sober and sad eyes. Even the way he walked into the room, as if to keep as much distance between the two of them as possible, sent the warning bells ringing through her mind. His hand never even attempted to graze her hips and she shivered at the cold space between them.

"What's wrong, Jax?" She figured she might as well get right to it. Why suffer anymore than she needed to, especially when she had no idea what she'd done wrong.

He kept moving past her and she wondered fleetingly if he'd even heard her. When he was sitting across from her on the bed, he blew out a deep breath and rubbed his hands against his thighs. When he finally looked up at her, she almost stumbled backwards from the sheer force of his eyes.

"What's wrong?" She asked again and bit her lip in annoyance at the sound of her own voice. She sounded a little helpless, a little desperate and she didn't like that.

When he still didn't respond, she exhaled angrily and set her hands defiantly on her hip.

"You know a cop came to see me this morning, right? Who am I kidding—of course you know." She couldn't hide the frustration in her voice but she couldn't handle his silence or the look in his eyes anymore.

He rubbed his chin anxiously and nodded. "Hale stopped by TM a little while ago—said you'd told him I was here all night."

"Right."

"Why did you tell him that?" He asked hoarsely.

She just shrugged. "I didn't want you to get in trouble."

His eyes narrowed a little and she felt her legs almost give out on her.

"Why didn't you tell me your dad was Martin Campbell?" He finally said, with eyes blazing.

She frowned at this new revelation and sat down on the dresser across from him. What did her dad have to do with anything? How the fuck did he know who her father was? And why did she feel like she was about to interrogated for something she didn't do?

"What difference does it make?" She replied finally, feeling proud at the defiant tone in her voice now.

He blew out a shaky breath and ran a hand through his hair. "You said you didn't want me to get in trouble...why would you think that?"

She shrugged, already on edge at his tone and this new line of questioning that she didn't give a shit anymore. She gestured towards his cut with a pointed glare. "I'm not stupid, Jax."

His brow creased and he glanced down at his cut then back up at her with wide eyes. She didn't even wait for him to ask her the question.

"The secretary at the school district said something about Samcro on a Taste of Charming poster in the office. So I googled you."

His eyebrows shot up. "You googled me?"

She nodded with a shrug. "Yeah...did you know Samcro has it's own Wikipedia page?"

He just stared at her with wide, confused eyes. "So...that's it—you googled me and found out-"

"It doesn't matter what I found out, Jax." She crossed her arms around her chest and dared him to walk away. If he was going to, he might as well do it now.

"Bullshit it does—you know I've been to prison?"

She nodded and he ran a hand over his face.

"You know we run guns?"

She nodded and he rubbed his hands on his thighs again.

"So now what?" His eyes were on her again and her heart almost stopped completely when she realized that he was putting the ball in her court now. If he got up and walked away from her, it would be because she told him to. So how did she feel? Did she want him to stay or go?

"You could've just asked me, Jax."

His eyes shot up to meet hers and he frowned. "What do you mean?"

"About my dad—you could've just asked me. I would've told you anything you wanted to know."

He bit his lip and rubbed his forehead. "I know...I know. What do you want me to say here?"

When had this suddenly become so real? When had they gone from blissfully ignorant and high on living in the moment to a sobered and angry couple? They weren't a couple...but they were still something. Then why did any of this matter?

She just shook her head and leaned her head back until she found the wall behind her. "I didn't tell you who my dad was because I honestly didn't think it mattered—just like I'm sure you didn't tell me about..."

"My illegal activities?" He offered, a ghost of a smile tracing his lips for the first time since he'd arrived at her door.

"Yeah," she sent a faint smile back at him and thought that maybe, just maybe they'd be able to figure this out. "Look, Jax—I know my conversation with Officer Hale this morning was probably off to you but you have to understand...I've been questioned by cops about my dad since I was in grade school—I guess I've just been trained to play dumb, say I don't know anything—it's just pure reflex by now, a habit, I guess. So when Officer Hale showed up this morning...it wasn't anything that I wasn't used to."

"And you assumed I'd done something..." His voice was hesitant, like he wasn't really sure what to believe at this point and she couldn't really blame him.

"I don't know...you got a phone call and left in the middle of the night. Then a cop shows up telling me there was an explosion and wanted to know where you were all night. It wasn't difficult to put two and two together...I guess instinct just took over and I didn't want to do or say anything that would get you in trouble."

It took a moment for everything she said to sink in and he ran another hand roughly through his hair, tugging lightly on the front of his jeans, probably because he needed a cigarette.

"And this," he replied hoarsely, gesturing to the front of his cut. "This doesn't matter?"

She shrugged. "Should it?"

"I don't know...you tell me."

"Then I guess no—it doesn't. To be completely honest with you, what you do and what my dad does isn't all that different—except, well, you've gotten caught and he hasn't."

He cocked an eyebrow at her and exhaled deeply. "I'm not gonna lie, darlin', this is a little hard to believe."

"What—you're the one involved in 'illegal activity' yet somehow I'm the one that's untrustworthy because I don't really care? What the fuck, Jax—that's not fair."

"Why didn't you say something before? You could've told me too, you know—that you knew about Samcro and everything else."

She laughed bitterly and threw up a hand. "Oh right—like that would've gone over well. What was I supposed to do, just casually mention it?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

She didn't know what else to say. If he wasn't going to believe her now than odds were that he never would. She still just didn't understand why all of this mattered...she would be gone in less than two weeks, anyways, so all of this was a moot point. Besides, she wasn't ready to see him walk away from her yet.

Before she had a chance to speak, he pushed himself off the bed and began pacing around the space between the bed and the window. He blew out a deep breath and then ran a shaky hand over his face, then tugged it through his tangled hair before finally bringing his eyes up to meet hers.

"Let me get this straight," he began hoarsely. "You've known all this since day one-"

"Well," she interjected quickly. "Not day one—I had no idea when I pulled into TM."

"But when you came to the fundraiser—you knew then?"

She swallowed slowly and nodded. She could see him trying to work everything out—it flashed across his face at varying intervals—confusion, anger, hurt, frustration, relief...it was all there and then some.

"And what..." he started again, his eyes blazing with something she couldn't quite read. "You just didn't care?"

She shrugged. "It's not that I didn't—don't—care, Jax...I just...I don't know how to explain it to you."

He took a step closer and she felt the air leave her lungs at the sudden movement. "Try—please."

With a deep breath, she realized she was about to reveal something she hadn't planned on ever telling him. She forced her eyes to lock steadily on his and told herself she wouldn't look away. She was stronger than that and he needed to understand so she could figure out how to make sense of all this.

"My entire life, Jax," she started shakily. "I haven't really had a good track record with being able to rely on men for...just about anything. My dad...any ex-boyfriend, Will included...I've just always been dismissed as unimportant, always pushed a little further down the totem pole, you know?"

She paused to gauge his reaction and when she saw him swallow tightly, his eyes still on her, she figured that maybe some of what she was saying was finally sinking in.

"Anyways...when I came here, you were just...well, you were just exactly what I needed you to be. You didn't ask me any questions I wasn't ready to answer; you were just there. You helped me with everything I needed, you made sure I was safe, you were just there when I needed you, Jax—you just listened when I was finally ready to tell you but you never asked me to tell you anything. Part of why I told you everything was because I felt I needed to, that I owed you an explanation after everything..."

She paused again when her emotions got the best of her and when she opened her eyes again, he had finally moved to close the space between them. His hands were closing around her waist to pull her closer and she didn't hesitate to put a hand to his face just to reiterate her point.

"It doesn't matter, Jax, because I trust you—because you've done more for me than any other man has ever done, cared more than anyone has ever really cared and I—I just trust you, Jax. That's it."

His jaw clenched and he brushed some hair away from her face to tuck behind her ear. "Maybe you shouldn't."

She just shrugged. "Maybe not. But I do. I don't really need to know anything else."

He nodded, resting his forehead against hers. When he started to lower his mouth towards hers, she gently pushed against his chest to force him to look at her.

"Jax—why didn't you just ask me? I would've told you..."

He swallowed again and put his forehead against hers again. "I'm sorry, darlin'. I guess it was just my own instincts kickin' in...I'm not used to this—and I have no idea what to do with it."

She didn't know exactly what he meant—this new information or their entire relationship, if that's what it was. She wasn't an idiot—she was very aware that there had been a long line of girls before her and that there would be an equally long line after her. But the longer she stayed close to him like this, the more she realized that what she was feeling was more than just gratitude and more than just desire for the physical relationship with him. And that scared her. It was completely different than anything she'd ever encountered before and like Jax, she had no idea what to do with it.

So she decided to make light of the whole situation.

"What-" she forced a smile on her face as she spoke. "Most girls don't have the same reaction?"

He chuckled and bit his lip as he tilted back his head to get a better look at her. "Most girls are either too turned on by my patch to see anything else or they're too scared by it to come within fifty feet, even though they want to."

She rolled her eyes as he gripped her more tightly, forcing her to look at him.

"But I have to tell you, darlin'," he continued with cloudy eyes. "This whole I-don't-care-because-I-trust-you thing...that's not a line I've heard before."

"It's not a line."

"I know."

"I still don't appreciate you interrogating me."

He swallowed again and stepped closer until his hips pressed gently into hers. "I know. I'm sorry."

"You're gonna have to make it up to me."

His eyes shot up to hers and then that lop-sided grin slid onto her face and she was suddenly grateful he was holding onto her so tightly. She might've toppled over to the floor otherwise.

"Hmm..." he murmured against her neck, his hot breath brushing against her exposed skin. Then, without warning, he stopped himself and looked straight into her eyes. "You know, when I came here today, I thought this was going to be it—that you'd tell me to hit the road and never come back."

"I don't want you to do that, Jax. I want you to stay right here." As she spoke, her hands made their way up his neck and into his hair.

He leaned into her again and pressed his lips onto her neck, leading all the way up to her lips. He kissed her deeply and she eagerly opened her mouth, allowing his tongue to slid in. His hands snaked around her hips until they were under her shirt, pulling it up over her head in one swift motion. Feeling a little bold, she pushed a hand into his chest to force him back onto the bed until she was strattling him and pushed his cut off. A few seconds later, the rest of their clothes were strewn across the floor and he took her roughly by the hips to flip her around as he brought his mouth back down to hers.

In a flash, he rolled a condom on and he didn't even hesitate; he pushed himself into her and she cried out with relief that he wasn't going to torture her anymore. Then they were moving together, almost desperately, as their hips met in swift, needy motions. She tangled a hand in his hair and when she felt herself beginning to let go, on the brink of release, she tugged lightly, making him shudder against her, and when he let out that low grunt of ectasy, she felt herself finally completely let go, pulsing past the edge and moaned loudly in his ear.

As they came down, he pressed his forehead into hers and found her lips again, the kiss lingering for a few moments before he pushed himself to the other side of the bed. She curled up next to him and rested her head on his chest, listening to the furious beating of his heart, and smiled, knowing she'd had something to do with that. It didn't take long before her eyes fluttered shut and she was resting peacefully.

Jax blew out a breath when he realized she was sleeping and moved a hand softly over her hair as she slept. He was almost grateful for this quiet moment with her now...he needed a second to figure out what the fuck was happening to him. He glanced down at the curve of her naked hip—that was now pressed against him—and he felt his body react almost immediately, in spite of the fact he'd spent himself only a few minutes before. Shit...just one look and he was already going crazy. He was getting in too deep too quickly—and he didn't know how to stop it. Or if he even wanted to stop it in the first place. This wasn't a predicament he was used to being in...ever.

She stirred in his arms and he reflexively tightened his hold on her. It just felt so fucking good to feel her in his arms. He realized, feeling a heavy sigh, that it probably wouldn't even matter if she was clothed or not—it would feel good regardless. He was starting to feel like a pussy.

But he'd also never been with a girl who'd told him point blank that she trusted him. Or that his involvement with Samcro was more of a non-issue than anything else. Like he'd told her, he just didn't know what to do with this information. He hadn't been exaggerating before—most girls didn't see anything other than his cut. It was either the thing that thrust them into his bed or sent them running, even if they kept looking behind them as they ran. If he was being completely honest with himself, he'd secretly hoped that Wendy would've been able to see more than that...to look beyond the cut and the club...maybe he could've found a way to love her back. He shook his head at that thought...she was too fucked up—still was—for it to have ever really worked out between them.

When he came to her hotel room, he'd anticipated questions about what he really did for a living and was prepared to answer her, even if it was only in half-truths. He was not, however, prepared to learn that she'd already learned the truth on her own. Fucking Wikipedia. He really couldn't blame her for not mentioning it before—if this shit with the warehouse had never happened, it probably wouldn't have ever come up. But she said it didn't matter and her rationale made surprising sense. Everything she said made sense—it was just difficult to swallow. Maybe he just didn't know how to swallow it.

He wasn't used to being that guy—the guy that could be counted on, relied on, depended on and whatever else. He had never really wanted to be any of those things before. Even with Wendy, it hadn't been about that, despite her pushing and pulling. But the second he'd laid eyes on Lily and seen the now barely visible bruise on her face, everything he knew about women and how to deal with them had turned to complete shit. When she told him all the reasons why she trusted him, he believed her. It wasn't believing her that was the problem; it was reconciling the implication of believing her and the feelings it stirred up in him that was the problem.

He sighed again and pulled her closer to him. It really didn't matter what he was feeling or why. In a little over a week, she was going to pack up and leave Charming. That was how this was going to end. He wouldn't be doing himself any favors by pondering too long on his feelings for the girl currently sleeping in his arms. Besides, as soon as she left, he would be free to nail all the pussy he wanted. And he didn't allow himself to dwell on that fact that he'd basically admitted to himself that he didn't want to be with any other girl while Lily was still in town.

Maybe his best course of action was to just ride this out. Let it run its course. Have fun with her. Fuck her until she lost all sense of feeling in her body. She'd only been in town four days now—officially—and he'd already had her twice; there was plenty of time for more. He would not sit around and wonder what was going to happen when she inevitably left him. And he would not sit around and wonder if she would even remember him.

He felt her stir again and glanced down to find her tired eyes staring right up at him.

"Hey." She whispered with a soft smile and he felt his heart clench tightly in his chest.

"Hey." He lowered his mouth to her forehead and kissed it twice.

"How long was I out for?"

"Not too long—hey, listen, I should probably get goin'...got some shit to take care of and Clay'll have my ass if I don't show up soon."

She nodded slowly and he wondered briefly if maybe he was leaving too quickly. Should he stick around a little longer? What the fuck was he doing? At that thought, he immediately untangled himself and pushed off the bed as he started groping for his clothes. She remained silent as he threw his clothes on and reached down for his shoes. He didn't know if it was her silence or the solemn, wide look in her eyes but he was speaking before he could stop himself.

"There's a party at the clubhouse tonight—it's gonna be rowdy and, I'm not gonna lie, you'll probably see some things you don't wanna see, but you could stop by if you want."

"The clubhouse—that's on TM's lot, right?"

"Yeah."

He blew out a breath and realized he couldn't take it back now. She wasn't the type of girl that belonged at a Samcro party and he knew that she would have absolutely no idea what she was walking into if she decided to come. But the sick, masochistic part of him wanted to see if she could handle it, if she wouldn't take one look and run back out the door. Maybe some other part of him wanted to call her bluff on being so cool with his role as VP of Samcro. Maybe if she saw what really went on, what being associated with the club was really like and all the 'perks' that came along with it, she'd bail and put him out of his misery earlier than planned. He knew this could easily be interpreted as an asshole move if her reaction was more of the latter. But he was past the point of caring.

And as he headed back out to his bike, he realized that asking her in the first place was probably a bad move. He knew he was potentially setting both of them up for failure-there were only a couple of ways this night could end and he didn't see many scenarios that ended with her naked in his dorm. Still, that was a risk he was willing to take because this girl had gotten under his skin and he needed to do something quick to get her the fuck out.

A/N-Things got a little too real too quick, right? It's gonna take both of them awhile to figure out what's really going on between them. Next up is the party at the clubhouse and I hope no one thinks Jax is being too much of a jerk right now (even if it's just in his thoughts)-he isn't really equipped to handle real 'feelings' so his knee-jerk reaction is to assume she won't be able to handle it. He doesn't really understand yet because she's so different than anyone he's ever been with.

Anyways-I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know it was very drama-filled but it's definitely going to move their relationship along since they had the first in a series of big conversations that they need to have. Let me know what you think-please r/r!