My first Big Bang Theory fanfic! I hope you enjoy it, please read and review!

Sheldon tensed reflexively when her lips brushed his. This was an unexpected turn of events. All he had done was cross the hall to suggest a more appropriate time to wail Shania Twain songs like a cat in heat. Such neighborly duties hardly merited this degree of physical contact. A handshake would have been more than acceptable; a hearty "Thank you, Sheldon!" even better. Sheldon kept his mouth clamped shut and tried to twist away from her but Penny wasn't having it. She wound her hands around his neck and kissed him again.

This simply would not do.

"Pen—" He was cut off by the forceful thrust of her tongue into his mouth.

The evacuation sequence in Sheldon's brain started its countdown. Red warning lights flashed behind his eyes and he swore he heard someone shout out Danger, Will Robinson! He pushed at Penny's shoulders but she stayed latched tight against him, her tongue rolling around inside of his mouth. Sheldon could taste her, taste the hundreds of millions of her potentially deadly microbes swirling around in his own mouth. He would be like a walking petri dish when this was over. If he survived that long. He raised his arms to push her away again but Penny was too quick. She caught him by the wrists and placed his hands over her breasts.

Sheldon hesitated. These weren't so bad. They were soft and doughy with a nice weight to them. He grasped the left one harder, testing it, and felt Penny mew into his mouth. The sound did something to him. He felt an unfamiliar stir in his pelvic region. The sirens in his brain lost some of their initial fervor.

Sheldon felt Penny press her weight into him and he backed up. He was really trying to escape, but the back of his knees knocked into her sofa and he soon found his position compromised. Penny lowered herself onto his lap with a coy smile.

"Dr. Cooper, I believe you're out of breath."

It was true. With all the CO2 Penny was pumping into his lungs, Sheldon's respiratory system was working very hard to catch a breath of fresh oxygen. His cheeks were rosy from the effort of it. Penny laid her hands on either side of his burning face and smiled.

"And blushing," she whispered.

"I'm not blushing," Sheldon said softly, entranced by the tenderness of her touch on his cheeks. "An increase of adrenaline has caused the blood vessels in my face to dilate, thus increasing the flow to that particular area. What you are witnessing is a totally involuntary hormonal reaction to outside stimuli."

Penny giggled gently and pressed her lips to the side of his neck. She nibbled the skin there and Sheldon's breathing hitched.

"That's what us ordinary people call blushing," she said into his ear.

Sheldon twitched at the feeling of her moist breath in his ear. She ignored it and caught his lips again. He started to pull away but something about the delicacy of her kiss intrigued him. This wasn't the hungry forcefulness of before. She wasn't squashing her face against his, haphazardly exchanging bodily fluids and latent flesh eating viruses. This was fragile and fluttering, pleasant almost. When she pulled away, Sheldon found he was sorry to see her go.

Penny pulled her shirt over her head and unhooked her bra. Her breasts hung bare in front of Sheldon's terrified face. He looked at them warily, intrigued but cautious. Like before, Penny took his hands and placed them upon her. Her skin was warm and yielding to his touch. Sheldon swallowed hard. He gently kneaded her breasts in his hands, feeling their individual weights and wondering if it would be socially unacceptable at this moment to calculate just how much heavier the right one was.

A purr from Penny brought him out of his head. He looked at her with her head thrown back and her eyes closed, slowly grinding against his pelvis as he traced circles around her nipples with his fingers. On a whim he caught one between his thumb and forefinger and rolled it. Penny's eyes shot open and she smiled in surprise. She covered his hands with her own and bent to lightly suckle his bottom lip. This time, Sheldon closed his eyes and gave her a very faint kiss in return.

Penny's hand slid down the front of his shirt to the front of his pants. Her touch, light as it was, felt like raw electricity to this newly awakened part of his parasympathetic nervous system and Sheldon shivered. Instinctively, he pulled her hand away and squeezed his thighs together. Maybe he was finally feeling what it was like to be self-conscious, or maybe his East Texas Evangelical upbringing was coming back to haunt him. Sheldon was suddenly flooded with anxiety.

Penny laid her hand on top of him again and made him look her in the eyes.

"I'll be gentle," she said.

He still wasn't sure he wanted to, but there was something awe inspiring about the care Penny was taking with him. So often people brushed him aside, labeling him as infuriating and neurotic, that her gentle insistence was not unlike discovering a new species and Sheldon was, for lack of a better word, curious. He nodded hesitantly.

Penny's mouth was almost unbearably hot and tight around him. After the initial shock of her wanting to place her lips around that particular appendage had subsided, Sheldon found it not only agreeable, but embarrassingly lovely. He bucked his hips under her ministrations, desperate to fit more of himself inside the warm sleeve of her mouth. He felt her tongue trace swirls down his length and a small cry escaped his lips.

"Oh, dear Lord!"

Penny kissed the tip of his member and crawled back up the length of his body. She positioned herself over him and lifted her skirt up. She grabbed a hold of him and placed him at her opening.

"P-Penny, I'm not sure how to go about this," Sheldon stammered breathlessly. "I've never…not even once…I've read of course but this…" He didn't want to admit defeat, but he was trembling so hard he could barely see her. What if he was no good at this? If he backed out now he could still save himself from that embarrassment.

"You'll be fine. Follow my lead."

She lowered herself onto him and Sheldon grunted as he was sheathed inside of her. He closed his eyes and daringly latched on to the side of her neck with his lips as she began to move up and down. Tentatively he started to move with her, thrusting up as she came down. Penny cried out and dug her nails into Sheldon's shoulders. Sheldon moaned and brought her down harder, his hands forceful on her hips. Penny's strangled calls broke something base and primal inside of him. In a flash of insight Sheldon switched their positions so Penny was on her back and he rose over her, using her leg for support. He thrust into her with eagerness, his eyes closed and his breath coming in shaky staccato gasps.

Penny screamed out and Sheldon felt her walls clench around him. In another instant he felt his own release upon him.

"Oh, yes…God…Penny…I, Oh!"

When Sheldon woke up his pajama bottoms were wet and sticky. The flannel clung to his thighs with moist determination. He felt around under the covers. The sheets were wet too. The mattress would probably be the same. Sheldon closed his eyes, embarrassment taking hold of him. Night emissions were not supposed to affect Homo Novus. He was better than this. Such things were reserved for lesser species…like Howard.

He looked at his alarm clock; it was nearly five. If he got up now he'd be able to sneak down to the laundry room and wash his sheets before anybody noticed. As quietly as he could, Sheldon slid out of bed and began to strip the mattress. He folded the bedclothes neatly and piled them in his laundry basket. Then he took off the soiled pair of pajamas, cleaned himself off, changed, and added the flannels to the other offensive articles of laundry. With extreme care not to wake Leonard and Penny in the next room, he opened his bedroom door and padded lightly down the hallway.

He wished he had noticed the kitchen light sooner. He had been so worried about remaining silent that he hadn't been paying attention.

Penny was sitting at the breakfast island, a steaming cup of tea in her hands. She raised an eyebrow when Sheldon appeared with his basket of laundry and glanced at the clock on the microwave.

"A little early for that, isn't it?" she asked. "And you know it's only Friday?"

Sheldon froze halfway across the living room. He hadn't counted on interruptions. Penny's eyes were burning holes into the top of Sheldon's head but he didn't dare look at her. Who knew what fresh torment would be set upon him at the sight of her scandalously clad in her bathrobe and slippers.

"Sheldon, are you O.K.?" Penny's voice wasn't as soft as it had been in his dream. Sheldon shifted feet and clutched his laundry basket. "Do you want help?"

"Insomnia," Sheldon said suddenly, meeting her gaze. He almost wished he hadn't. The dim light from the kitchen made her hair glow. When he spoke again it was rushed and breathless. "When I'm suffering from insomnia I find it soothes me to do something productive. I've sacrificed Saturday night laundry for that reason, nothing more."

Penny blinked at him. "Do what'cha gotta do, Sweetie."

Sheldon cast his gaze back down at his laundry and headed for the door. He stopped short of it and turned to her again.

"Why are you awake? Your normal sleep schedule doesn't normally have you rising before noon."

Penny laughed into her tea. She put the cup down and looked at him for a long silent moment. A smile tugged at her lips.

"I had a dream."

"I hope it wasn't distressing," Sheldon said a little too sincerely. He mentally kicked himself.

But Penny didn't seem to mind. She shook her head slowly, her eyes searching his face from across the room.

"No, I was sorry it was over." Another silent moment passed between them. Sheldon's mouth was very dry. Penny looked down at her tea. "I've got some laundry to do too. Can I come with?"

Sheldon's basket felt very heavy in his arms. He waited for Penny to glance up again and nodded.

"Certainly."