Author's Note: I dunno why I do all this Gale stuff. Mainly because I really feel his character was neglected to make room for Peeniss (ha ha ha this is the best ship name ever not even gonna lie). But I think Gale did have his own suffering and Katniss pushed it aside. I'm not saying either of them were in the right. They were both in the wrong, which made it all the more real. In other news, I don't own the Hunger Games, just a handful of ideas I've had. I also don't own All Time Low, which is more depressing.

My ship went down in a sea of sound
When I woke up alone, I had everything

It wasn't to say that Gale Hawthorne thought he was right over everything. He knew there were times he was in the wrong. He also knew that he would never truly be whole again, but he could fake it for as long as possible. He woke up alone every day after a night of near sleepless rest. The handful of moments he could sleep were always tormented with Katniss in the Games, Primrose dying, the bombs blowing up, and everything he wished he could change. It was always bittersweet.

A hand full of moments I wished I could change
and a tounge like a nightmare that cut like a blade in a city of fools
I was careful and cool, but they tore me apart like a hurricane
A hand full of moments I wished I could change
but I was carried away

Gale had learned the territory of being a war hero. Sure, girls fell all over themselves to get at him, but he couldn't bear to let them touch him. He was too broken for that, and he refused to sink to filling the void with meaningless sex. There was only one girl he wanted... and she was gone. He couldn't blame her, either. He couldn't blame Bread Boy either. He knew he had done nothing to earn her love. What had he done for her? Back when she was his Catnip, he had hunted for her family. During the Games, he kept them fed. He got them out of the explosion. He saved Peeta... but he couldn't save Cinna or Prim, two people his Catnip had loved. And in the end, he was no better than the Capitol he had hated so, and as a direct result, he hated himself.

Give me therapy
I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling on everything
Therapy you were never a friend to me
and you can keep all your misery

Court mandated therapy. Great, he thought, because what says welcome home soldier better than giving him fucking therapy? He knew why he was ordered to get therapy. Katniss had stomped all over his heart with every reason to. He knew that the couple of self inflicted wounds couldn't have helped either. But despite knowing he shouldn't, despite knowing that all it would do was cause pain... he did it because he wanted to be sure he hadn't gone numb. He wanted to be sure he could still feel. Results came back positive, though it's what landed him trying to discuss with a therapist why he didn't need therapy. "And you believe that because?"

All he wanted to do was punch the damn therapist's face in. Where did he get off, telling him what he needed and didn't need? He knew that this entire thing was pointless, and all it did was make him feel more trapped, ensnared in one of his own snares. He snapped, "Because I know what's best for me."

The therapist snorted. "So what's best for you is to cling to a girl who you know isn't in love with you and never will be? What's best for you is to continue to blame yourself for a bomb that blew up? To blame yourself for the deaths of people you couldn't save? News flash: you couldn't of saved them. If the bomb hadn't gone off, either Coin or Snow would have seen to it that Primrose Everdeen was no more. You haven't spoken to Katniss Everdeen in five years because you continue to hold yourself responsible!"

Gale bit his lip. "I hold myself responsible because I built the damn bomb."

The therapist sighed. "You don't blame the maker of the bow or arrow for the death of someone. You don't blame the maker of the gun for killing someone. So why should you hold yourself at fault for building something that you were sure was going to save lives?"

My lungs gave out as I faced the crowd
I think that keeping this up can be dangerous
I'm flesh and bone, I'm a rolling stone
And the experts say I'm delirious

Gale hadn't thought about what he was thing when he built the bomb very hard. The therapist was right - he thought he was helping others when he built the bomb. He never wanted Prim to die. He never wanted to cut off ties with Katniss because of it, but he figured she hated him... and he wouldn't of blamed her. "I was no better than the Capitol."

"You're better than the Capitol. You feel remorse for your actions."

Give me therapy
I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling on everything
Therapy you were never a friend to me
and you can take back your misery

Remorse. Guilt. Anger at himself. The realization that someone thought him better than the Capitol because he felt such things. That being able to feel remorse for his actions was what made him a better person, a better person than anyone in the Capitol. He was upset that his actions had brought upon death. He hadn't let himself love in five years because he hadn't felt worthy. He had thought that he was unworthy of love because he was unworthy of Katniss.

"You'e worthy of having a nice life, Gale."

Arrogent boy, love yourself so no one has to
They're better off without you
(They're better off without you)
Arrogent boy, Cause a scene like your supposed to
They'll fall asleep without you
You're lucky if your memory remains

He shook his head. Katniss hadn't bothered to call or write. What good was it if his old hunting partner would never speak to him again? Peeta and her didn't need him in their life, and he'd be damned if they even remembered who he was. He wouldn't bother to remember himself if he were in their shoes. They had deserved better than what he had given. "You need to call her, Gale. Make the first move to healing."

Give me therapy
I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling at everything
Therapy you were never a friend to me
You can take back your misery
Therapy
I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling at everything
Therapy you were never a friend to me
and you can choke on your misery

On the other end of the phone was Katniss Everdeen. "Katniss? It's me, Gale. Gale Hawthorne."

"Gale?" She paused. "I'm so glad you called."