Dialogue

Narrator: The Scene opens with Romeo and Tybalt facing off in the middle of the town square. Between them lies the dead body of Mercutio, Romeo's best friend.

Romeo: You, there! Alive in triumph while good Mercutio lies here slain! You shall fast be punished for your sins!

Tybalt: You, wretched boy, will soon be greeting your dead friend!

Narrator: And with that, the titans met, steel upon steel, skill upon skill in a deadly duel.

Romeo: Halt! I shall end this now in a way most befitting the vile and arrogant Capulet name!

Narrator: With that our brave hero casts aside his sword to draw a Bowmen's titanium, serrated hunting knife slash fish scaler, and dons a black-robe and white facial mask not unlike that found in a cheesy slasher-film, circa 1990's. (Cough*scream*cough)

Romeo: Now we shall see thee pay dearly!

Narrator: Romeo then proceeded to lunge at Tybalt.

Tybalt: Thou shall not have me defeated so easily!

Narrator: Tybalt met Romeo head-on, impaling him on his sword. With a great expression of pain Romeo slides to the ground, unmoving.

Tybalt: Mwahahahaha! Thou has failed your friend twice now in death! I hope thee has a suitable apology when you meet in hell!

Narrator: Tybalt has barely finished his monologue, complete with unsettling evil laugh, when Romeo leaps to his feet, brandishing the knife and cackling maniacally.

Romeo: Imbecile! Did you think you could vanquish me when it is certain that the killer in these bad movies is quite impervious to death?

Narrator: Romeo then lunged at Tybalt again, beginning a marvelous chase around the city square, once, twice, and again, while Tybalt, for his part screamed in a high-pitched and decidedly effeminate fashion.

Tybalt: AAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHH!!!

Narrator: By the third lap, Romeo had grown the wiser and stood patiently waiting behind a wagon, for the frightened Tybalt to make and appearance. Sure enough, Tybalt continued around the square, circling back to the awaiting avenger.

Romeo: At last, the chance is upon me!

Narrator: With a hoarse cry he threw himself at the panicked Tybalt, bringing the knife down in a deadly arc towards his foe's chest. The blade slid in with a soft noise, and Tybalt's eyes widened like saucers as he stepped back, hand to his chest, before he drew it away, looking quizzically at his clean fingers.

Tybalt: What miracle is this, to leave me so alive and unbloodied in the face of my foe's most certain violence?

Narrator: With a grievous look on his face, Romeo throws the stage-knife away.

Romeo: I am fortune's fool!

Narrator: Taking up his sword from where it had been discarded earlier in the battle, Romeo thrusts forward and slays Tybalt. He then disappeared into thin air, as most horror-movie villains are known to do at random. Thus, was the death of Mercutio, kinsmen to the prince avenged.