Meeting the Boyfriend II

Written: 5/18/11 & 1/8/12

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

Beta: None

Author's Note: I had this joke application for years, and I found it recently while cleaning my room. I thought I would put a HP twist on it. I went back to just dialogue just like the original. Enjoy!

"Now Draco, our youngest daughter is about to go on her first date."

"Date? I didn't know anything about a date."

"Don't play dumb. You made the rule that the girls couldn't date until they were sixteen. Well, Alyssa's birthday was yesterday."

"She couldn't have waited another year?"

"Don't take that tone with me. Now you need to promise me you'll behave."

"Why?"

"Well, when Travis was here, you nearly had him running in tears. The poor boy was traumatized."

"Not traumatized enough. I didn't see any tears or him sitting in the corner in a foetal position."

"Just no verbal abuse, okay? You can look mean all you want. Just no talking."

"Fine, but I better get something in return for it."

"I'll wear that outfit you bought for Christmas."

Draco smirked devilishly.

An hour later

"So, are you ready for this?"

"You got to be kidding me, Ava? Do you not remember your first date with Travis?"

"I blocked out the beginning."

"I might just have to do that. Papa is scary when he wants to be."

They heard the doorbell ring.

"He's here."

"You know," said Ava as she and Alyssa walked out of the kitchen, "I still wonder how Dad convinced Papa to move into a Muggle neighborhood."

"You don't want to know."

"Why?"

"All I know is that there was a dress involved. You're lucky you moved out already."

Both girls shuddered. They reached the door and Alyssa opened it.

"Hi David."

"H-hey Alyssa."

"Don't be nervous. Papa can sense fear," said Ava.

"Don't mind my sister. You'll be fine. Come in."

They ushered David inside before the cold got them. The girls took him into the living room where their fathers were waiting.

"Papa, Dad, This is David Finnegan."

"Oh great. Another Gryffindor," Draco muttered.

"You promised," hissed Harry.

Draco smirked again.

"I-it's nice to meet you, sirs," David held his hand out to Draco who ignored it and sat down.

"Nice to meet you, David. Alyssa has told us so much about you," greeted Harry, "Please, sit down."

Everyone sat down. There was an awkward silence throughout the room since Draco remained silent.

"Papa? Are you going to say something?"

Draco picked up some forms and passed them to the unexpected boyfriend.

"Papa, what is that?"

Draco remained silent. He pinned his shrewd eyes on David. Ava peaked at the forms and stifled a laugh. Alyssa and David went red in the cheeks. Harry sighed. He knew it was going to be embarrassing.

"It seems your Papa has taken to heart about no verbal abuse."

"Meaning?"

"I told him he can look mean just no talking."

"Dad!"

"What? I was trying to help."

Draco waved his hand in David's direction.

"I think he wants you to read," Harry suggested.

David cleared his throat and read.

Application For Dating A Potter-Malfoy Daughter

Part 1)
Full Name (First, Middle, Last):
Date of Birth:
Height:
Weight:
IQ:
School:
House:
Prefect?
Head Boy?
Pureblood? (If so, skip Part 2 and 6.):
Half-Blood? (If you live in Muggle world, proceed to Part 2.):
Muggle-born? (If so, proceed to Part 2.):
Home Address:
Apparating Coordinates:
If over 17, is the above address your own living quarters or your parents?
If not your own place, why do you still live with your parents?

Part 2)
Do you own a van? If so, why the extra space?
Do you own a motorcycle? If so, are you having a mid-life crisis?
Do you own a king-sized bed? Explain:

Part 3)
Do you have any piercings and/or tattoos and where?

Part 4)
In 50 words or less, what does the word "LATE" mean to you?
In at least 25 words, what do the words, "Don't touch my daughter," mean to you?
In at least 25 words, what does the word "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?

Part 5)
Do you have a job? If so, what is it?
Employer's name:
Description of your job:
Pay Rate:

Part 6)
Are you religious?
Do you attend church?
How often?
Affiliation:

Part 7)
Best time to interview your father, mother, employer, and/or priest or other religious education provider:

Part 8)
Answer the following honestly.
1. If I were hexed, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is…
2. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my…
3. A woman's place is…
4. The "one" thing I hope this application doesn't ask me about is…
5. When I meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is…*
*NOTE: If the answer to this question begins with T, A or has two Bs and two Os in the word, discontinue at this point and leave the premises! Keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.
6. What do you want to be IF you grow up?
7. Do you have an obsession with Harry Potter?

I swear that all information supplied above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge, under penalty of humiliation in public, a veritaserum interrogation, a Diffindo Curse on a certain part, or Cruciatus Curse. Any penalty will be decided at the whim of the father.

Signature: Date:
Witness: Date:
Reference: Date:
Notarized: Date:

Note: This application will be considered incomplete and rejected unless accompanied with a headshot, complete financial statement, copy of birth certificate, job history, lineage, and a current medical report from your mediwizard.

Please allow four to six weeks for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Do not owl as this will only delay the procedure and possibly cause the father irritation, if not a visit from said father will happen. If your application is rejected, you will be obliviated.

Thank you for your attempt!
Have a nice day!

"Papa, are you serious?" asked Alyssa.

Draco smiled evilly even when Harry slapped him behind his head. Ava couldn't take it anymore and laughed while David paled and a sheen of sweat glistened on his forehead.

Alyssa groaned, "Dad, could we go?"

"Yes, sweetie."

"Thank you."

Alyssa grabbed David's hand and pulled him out of the room.

"Papa," said Ava, "You are a genius. I didn't think you could top my first date. I'm going to make your favorite dessert for this wonderful entertainment."

Ava was still laughing when she walked to the kitchen. Harry shook his head and looked at his husband.

"I'm so glad we didn't have any more daughters."

Draco finally opened his mouth and said, "True, but at least the one in the kitchen is making my favorite dessert. It will go splendidly with your outfit."

~fin